Ruling the world.

Sounds great in practice.

In reality anyone who has ruled anything longer than ten seconds often asks themselves a simple question.

What in the bloody blue blazes of the Godly Gardener’s creeping coffin did I pick this route?!

That’s because, any attempt to rule a sentient species is like herding cats.

Herding cats is hard.

Even with Chaos Flames.

The damn critters are ninja fast with creepy reflexes and the ability to vanish into thin air.

Wait, I might be describing gremlins.

Well cats and gremlins are practically the same thing in my mind.

Also, cats are evil.

With this viewpoint, it’s no wonder that I developed a serious method to deal with my slight phobia.

As anyone would understand, being a Tree, I developed the perfect solution…

Something that has never been seen before.

Probably because most cat loving humans would combat it with every possible weapon.

Carnivorous cat devouring catnip moss.

This stuff is absolutely the best method of removing the vermin short of wide scale genetic warfare which I’m uncomfortable using.

Gene viruses can mutate fast and there no telling when todays cat killing gene virus could mutate to a cat helping or Tree killing one.

The moss is the safe play.

This reasoning is why when Vex showed us to her diabolical Lair, I was well prepared.

I could smell the sense of cat-evil a mile away.

Upon entering the place, I immediately took action.

Releasing a small portion of the spores kept within one of my leaves, I started the massacre.

Vex seemed troubled by the creeping blue moss that started eating her collection of vermin.

I know she’ll understand the favor I’ve done her though.

Anyone that has such a large infestation of the annoying creatures probably hasn’t developed effective countermeasures against them yet.

Hmm…

The expression on Vex’s face seems to be getting worse….

Wait…

Why is she looking at me suspiciously like that!

Just because moss is plant related, one shouldn’t immediately suspect a nearby Tree!