Right now I’m hiding.

I’m hiding in my own Garden.

It’s not out of fear.

I fear nothing in my own personal paradise, no, I’m hiding for my sanity.

I’m sure those among us remember the game, what was it called, Wurcroft? Wavecrift? Well whatever, it had that one expansion…

What was it again…

Ah yes! The one with Ygg-Sawg, the giant jelly monster with super duper mind melting powers.

And one of his attacks, the one that gave so much pain…

Yes.

The insanity one.

Where turning to face him melted your mind into a puddle of proto-goo.

Then your powers would be turned on the rest of the raid group, and poof!

Mass deaths.

So, I’m hiding for my sanity, but really, it’s to save the world.

Really, I’m such a great Tree. Sometimes, I just shock myself.

Rustle.

I don’t think that’s fair.

Just because I like looking like a sparky red tree with a million shades of color does not mean my fashion choices are the cause of this.

You live with these bra-, I mean, spawn of evil too!

Too quickly you forget the time they ate all your newly grown candy tree samples!

Who cleaned up that mess, huh?

Uncle Devon that’s who! Damn straight I wasn’t going to do it.

Besides, my perfect decoy plan has been working well so far.

3 kids.

3 T.M.N. Mice.

Rustleee!

Hah! You don’t like it? Well guess what it’s called bribery!

It’s one of the perks of being a Grandfather type.

All you can do is bake food and make delicious things because that’s what Grandmother types do, so there!

…Rustle…

Pffft! Do you think I’m afraid of you?

Wait…

Do you hear a noise?

Snick!

Gah! That sword brat has found us first again, quickly, retreat!

I throw out a mass of seedpods filled with a variety of chocolate candies as I retreat towards the upper layers.

Whizzing past a startled Uncle Devon I quickly conceal myself in the branches of a Redwood. The coloration of the leaves easily masks my signature redness.

Within minutes the three bra-, I mean, spawn of evil arrive finding the unlucky Devon starting to take a nap.

Heh, take that you good for nothing old man. Time for you to suffer the same pain I suffer! If I’m not allowed to sleep, NO ONE IS.

I quickly melt into a nearby wooden wall to make my escape complete.

Children are far more terrifying than Beholder Eyes.