《Very Yummy Poison》A Ride in The Rumor
Advertisement
Everything I needed was inside brown bottles. But, something outside them needed me. So, I crawled out for a while.
Doc-Danger
1 Hour Later - Doc-Danger - The Rumor
I’m rocketing to nowhere in the most notorious stealth ship in the universe. I rub my neck. Jesus, that Masked Man had a mean grip. I’m tempted to fly back and cut another chunk off him. That’s not going to happen. My name’s Doc-Danger. Despite what you may have heard, I am not the guardian of the universe. Someone else can deal with that asshole.
I warp portal opens on the bridge. High Roller walks through.
“What the fuck was that?” he asks.
“I know, right?” I say. “That guy was a lot tougher than you said he was.”
“I said he was extremely powerful. Possibly the most powerful being in the universe.” says High Roller.
“Yeah, but I didn’t believe you. You didn’t sell it.”
“Do you believe me now?”
“Sure. But only because he sold it. I still think you’re full of shit.”
“Fair enough.” He calls a chair from nothing, and slumps down next to me. “Did you find what we’re looking for?”
“No.” I say. “All that math was incomplete time travel equations. Useless. You get anything?”
“I won a couple billion secrets. Not what we need, though.” he says.
“Dammit.” I say. “Can I look at them?”
“Sure.” He tosses me an encrypted data cube.
I un-encrypt the data and spread it around me in a loose dome. I’m a messy reader.
“You know, when you do that with my secrets, they’re not secrets anymore.” says High Roller.
“This is the best stealth ship in the universe.” I say. “Nobody knows where we are. They definitely ain’t reading over my shoulder.”
Advertisement
High Roller points over my shoulder. I turn. The Man in the Mask is behind me. Jesus fucks! I blast him. It wrecks the left side of the ship, but doesn’t affect him. Damn. Having no immediate backup plan, I freeze in the ready position.
“Yeah, he’s not really here.” says High Roller. “That’s a simulacrum I made to illustrate your overconfidence. We have no idea what the Man in the Mask is capable of. We must assume he knows everything we do or say.”
I unfreeze. Call a new left side of the ship from nothing. “Fair enough.” I say.
I settle back into my studies. I feel a presence over my shoulder. The Man in the Mask is still there. He’s closer now.
“Are you going to get rid of that?” I ask.
“No.” says High Roller. “You’re still overconfident.”
“Fair enough.” I say. Fuck you, I think.
I warp portal opens on the bridge. Fox walks through.
“What the fuck was that?” he asks.
“I know, right?” I say.
“Fuck off. You weren’t supposed to be there. What’s the point of making a plan with you? Now they know there’s two humans with the three cosmic abilities. And that we’ll fight together. Also,” Fox points at the Man in the Mask. “What’s he doing here?”
“That’s a simulation. It’s to remind us that he could be listening to us at any time.” I say.
“Good reminder.” says a beautiful woman. “You never know who’s listening.”
“Jesus!” I say. “Who the fuck are you?”
“That’s Eve.” says Fox. “It’s cool. She’s cool. Did any of us find what we were looking for?”
I frown at Eve. Re-encrypt the data cloud around me. “No.”
Advertisement
“Well, that’s it then.” says Fox. “The next Impossible Party isn’t for 6 years. I’m not waiting that long for answers we probably won’t get.”
Fox is impatient. I don’t blame him. Before Fresh Start was invented, he was doomed to die young. Living fast is a hard habit to break.
“There’s still the Warpers.” I say. “They’re a smart bunch of motherfuckers.”
Warpers are beings that have mastered warping, but not true sight, or the call to nothing. There’s trillions of them for every Space God. They’re generally a good bunch of guys. Smart as fuck too. I suspect that collectively they know exponentially more than the Space Gods. I wanted to start my search with them, but was outvoted.
Fox shakes his head. “If the Warpers knew how to stop the Halfmen, they wouldn’t need us.”
Eve perks up. “You guys are hunting Halfmen? Cool.”
I scowl at Fox. The only currency that Space Gods recognize is secrets. Fox is ambivalent to this reality. He’s a hole in my fucking piggy bank.
“We’re not hunting Halfmen. We’re hunting information.” I say.
“What kind of information?” asks Eve.
“How to kill Halfmen.” says Fox.
Arrg! Fucking kid!
High Roller smiles. “We’re interested in various topics. Halfmen being one of them.”
Halfmen are a plague on Warper societies. Manufactured beings, they possess the three cosmic abilities, but are mentally stunted, wanting nothing but to kill Warpers. Halfmen attacks are relatively uncommon, but when they happen, the death toll in in the high billions. They’re clearly weapons from a Space God with a hate on for Warpers.
When I first came to space, I was in trouble. Some Warpers helped me. Before we parted ways, they were set upon by a Halfman. He and I had a mild altercation that cost me some anonymity.
Fox hates Halfmen. He wants to hunt them. He wants to arm Warpers with God Machines. But, Space Gods take secrets seriously. I guess it’s okay to invent True Sight or the Call to Nothing. But, if you spread that knowledge around, you get a visit from the Man in the Mask. We crashed the Impossible Party to see how big a problem that was. I rub my neck. It’s a big fucking problem.
“So, you’re not hunting Halfmen?” says Eve.
I scowl at her. I’d like to ask her to leave, but I don’t want to push my luck with Fox. I really did fuck up the plan for the party.
“It’s lunacy to fight Halfmen. We will die.” I say.
We just got to space, and have no idea what’s going on. We barely know how to use a God Machine. Also, we don’t know who’s making the Halfmen. Could be fucking Eve!
“You don’t have to fight Halfmen.” says Fox. “I’ll do it.”
I look at High Roller. High Roller looks at me. The Man in the Mask watches silently.
“You’ll save a lot more Warpers if you have us with you.” says High Roller. “Doc just wants us to fight smart.”
I nod. That’s not remotely what I want, but whatever.
“You want to start saving Warpers immediately. Doc wants to accrue knowledge.” says High Roller. “I aspire to be gloriously useless. Eve, you want anything?”
“I’d like to have a ride in The Rumor.”
“Well, this all seems doable.” High Roller smiles. “I’ll make a schedule.”
Advertisement
- In Serial219 Chapters
Galaxy Wars: The Legacy of Light and Darkness
It’s a story about a young man who was thrown into huge play he never planned to join in. His only aim is to survive, live well, be happy, and enjoy his life with his beloved harem girls.James is a 16...
8 680 - In Serial65 Chapters
Emperor of Soul Pets
The World of Ilvirin is host to millions of soul monsters. The brave men and women who seek out, Subdue, and train these monsters are called Soul Trainers. The ultimate goal of every soul trainer is to rise up the ranks, defeat countless soul monsters and trainers, and one day be acknowledged as...The Emperor of Soul Pets!!!Follow Rao Wu, a young beastman on his quest to become the Emperor of Soul Pets. Laugh and cry with the many companions he makes along the way, and watch as he uncovers the terrible history of the Ilvirian World.Can Rao Wu stay true to his heart during his climb, or will he, like countless before, be corrupted by the path. Stay tuned to find out. Released on: Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.Patreons: Minimum of Five Chapters Ahead
8 130 - In Serial41 Chapters
NEVER JUDGE
“Y-y-you’re the heir of Reyes Group?” Ian managed to stutter out. “Yes. And I would prefer no one in Mor Co. figured it out. If I know Marco’s efficiency by the time we get back to the office my appointment as an assistant to the President of Mor Co. will be announced. At the same time all business registrations of Mor Co. will be moved to my name. All the directors will be informed of this but no one else.” Camilla and Ian nodded in understanding._____________________________________________________ Cedric Reyes has a secret, he is the heir and eldest son of the rich and powerful Reyes clan. As tradition all heirs of their family have to go through a form of poverty training at the age of fifteen. They are left to fend for themselves with no contact and barely any money. Since leaving, he's gotten married to Adrianna Herandez, the Treasure of the Hernandez clan. Adrianna's family had always looked down at him due to his humble origins, but Adrianna has always stuck by him. Treated badly by his classmates in the past, and his in law in the present. They are about to encounter the shock of their lives. The Reyes Heir rules the country with his friends, the four princes, who are each from powerful and well respected families. Cover by: @vuitsuart (Instagram) @vuitsuart#6587 (Discord) Follow me: @wounded_warriorauthor on Instagram
8 205 - In Serial11 Chapters
The Head That Wears The Crown
It's a tale as old as time. Boy goes to funeral. Boy gets sucked into a different world. Boy has to lead a settlement. Boy has to lead a settlement? Boy has to lead a settlement. This is a story about that settlement, and some other stuff. Maybe. Disclaimer: Not sure if it qualifies enough for a gore tag. There is a description of someone's death somewhere in this, but I don't think it is descriptive enough to justify a gore tag. Disclaimer part deux: I initially started writing this as background for another story but got so into it I just ended fleshing it out a bit. Disclaimer part tres: People love reading disclaimers don't they? It's why I've included so many. They're just for you. Disclaimer part four: I know, this is getting egregious. You're starting to find it less funny. Just wait till the twentieth disclaimer, it will start being funny again. Disclaimer part five: I'm kidding, this is the last one. I don't promise I'll read every comment or message, but I certainly welcome your feedback. Disclaimer part six: I lied, it wasn't the last one. I wrote this story without breaking it down into chapters. It just goes, that means that the chapter ends when it ends, not when there is a convenient break in the story. That means that it's very annoying for you as a reader since chapters can end mid sentence. Hah! Sucker! Disclaimer part seven: Get ready for slow updates. Who knows when this will continue. Toss it on read later and come back in fifty years. Disclaimer part eight: Cover Photo by Arthur Ogleznev on Unsplash
8 160 - In Serial136 Chapters
Source Proxy - Act 1: The Holy Lands of the old and future Kings
Stranded in a foreign land, two 14-year old boys find themselves in a new world. Proxy, a battle-loving delinquent, who is seemingly rough around the edges, but whose kind, fun-loving attitude draws people to him. His ability for battle is considered top-notch, and it's only elevated by his ability to sense danger. While he is a fighter at heart, under is a child who lives in his own bubble of reality and is ignorant of the true dangers of his new surroundings. Richard, a normal teenager, whose polite, quiet, and less confrontational nature leads him to be less fit for battle but holds a desire to grow stronger, hating his own powerlessness. He is also a boy who can read the true emotions behind a person's words, but he sees this as a curse more so than a gift. His new surroundings offer danger and the threat of death, and the chance to move past his weaker self, in more ways than one. These two are caught up in an incident that sends them into another world by an item called "the black grimoire". In the land known as the Holy Lands, a land filled with people that have experienced war for several years, but are now controlled by a powerful group of bandits. Is there only danger and death waiting for them in this strange new world, or will there be more than? Either way, follow these two young men, as well as others, on this journey of battle and coming of age! Now uploading at 7:30 P.M. once a week for now on, hopefully. I am currently fixing chapters at random, but this does not interrupt updates, so still look out for a new chapter every week, at 7:30 P.M.
8 87 - In Serial50 Chapters
broken walls // taeny
My walls have been building up for years. Now my heart is now protected from anyone who dares to claim it. Many tried, but eventually gave up in the end. Obviously by this mystery on why I am like this I have gained popularity. I only keep a few friends, I hate history repeating so I do not do anything out of the ordinary. But once, I see you smile and hear you laugh while clapping, my walls have collapsed. Why?(NOT edited or revised)WARNING: There is a use of profanity in this story. If you do not like swearing or profanity, please find a more innocent story where you are more satisfied. (No dirty thoughts intended, for this story will have no smut)
8 131

