《Very Yummy Poison》Police Trouble
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If a problem seems impossible, you are trying to do two things at once. Just pick one.
- Megacles
30 Minutes Later - Megacles - The Sugar Club
“These cops are going to murder us.” says Candy, my new stripper friend.
“I don't think they do that.” I say.
“You should read the paper more.” says Candy.
Sad Cop had called more police, and they arrived in the form of Alpha Cop and his flock of beta cops. Now Sad Cop is sitting in a corner booth with his wife, Shooter McCuntypants. She also looks sad. Also, she’s unrestrained.
Alpha Cop is at central table with Shoulders. Ostensibly, it’s a police interview, but neither man is speaking. Instead, they are trying to murder each other with intense eye contact.
The beta cops flutter around doing beta cop stuff.
Candy and I are huddled in another booth, as far from Shooter’s as possible. Why the fuck wasn’t she in handcuffs?
“Okay, I've got her figured out.” says Candy, pointing at Shooter. “She's psycho and wants to kill her husband for his moral failings. She had to kill him in public, because drama needs an audience, or something.”
“So rude.” I say.
“Right? I don't murder my loved ones at her place of business. She should extend me the same courtesy.” Candy points at Sad Cop. “Her husband has Stockholm Syndrome. He’s trying to keep her out of jail.”
“Poor guy.”
“Poor us.” Candy corrects, “We’re the inconvenient witnesses.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah. Anyway, that’s their story. The only thing I can’t figure out is - who the fuck are you? Why are you rolling with her? What’s with the massive dildo?”
“I just wanted a drink! She invited me in for a drink! I thought she was asking me out! I’ve never seen her before! The dildo was just an impulse buy.”
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“From the sex shop on the corner?” I nod. “That makes sense. Their impulse buy section is crazy. I went in for condoms once, and ended up with a football up my ass.”
“Really?”
“No, I’m exaggerating.”
“Oh.”
We sit in silence for a bit.
“Did you put anything up your ass?” I ask.
“What’s going on with you?” Candy asks.
“I never got my drink! A crazy cunt led me on so she could kill her husband! I’m recently divorced. I haven’t been laid in ages.” I say
“Okay, come with me.” She says. She grabs some bottles from the bar; beer, whiskey, wine.
She leads me to a room that is mostly mirrors. She lays the bottles on the bar and gestures invitingly. I grab a beer and drink deep. She lays herself on the couch and gestures invitingly. I kneel down and dive in.
There's knocking at the door, but I ignore it. I'm almost dizzy with happiness. More knocking. Probably just the police. They can wait, I'm busy. Although, it could be Shoulders.
“Hey, should we get Shoulders in here?” I ask.
“Do you mean Brian?” Candy asks.
“Yeah, probably.”
“He's married.”
“Nevermind.”
“I'm pretty sure that's the police anyway.” Candy says.
“Pass.”
She laughs. The knocking turns to pounding and shouting.
“Excuse me for a moment.” I say. I pop up, and drag the couch to block the door. She looks up at me happily. I kneel down and get back to it.
The pounding on the door is getting a crunchy tone. I stop playing around and focus on her clitoris. She lets out a little squeal and spurts a bit in my mouth. Wow, I'm pretty good at this. First try, ladies. I look up, and see an axe head driven through the door an inch from her head. Shit.
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She's frozen, staring at the axe. It gets pulled back. I grab her legs and fall backwards. We hit the floor just as the axe crashes through the door and smashes into the couch.
I'm fucking furious. They could have killed her. I kick the busted couch aside as Alpha Cop kicks the door in. I get in his grill. He draws his gun.
I instinctively reach for my dick, but it's gone. All I have is my itty bitty butt plug. Damn my prudish butthole. It's left me defenseless.
A beta cop leans in with a Taser. The fucker zaps me.
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|{Vampire! RWBY Harem! x Kamen Rider! Female Reader!}|!!Edit belongs to me, but the renders aren't mine so credits go to the original owners!!"Welcome to a World of Bloody Evolution."The world is always in the way of harm. And that is why the world needs a great defender against the darkness that is upon them.But... could there be something much darker under every solution that people make? Not only do legends scatter but also the ultimate nightmare that's bound to taint Remnant in its filthy blood.You, [Y/N] [L/N], were the last Kamen Rider to survive in the Kamen Rider War. You barely won against Odin, but you managed to win against him, striking the Phoenix rider with your Final Vent. Although it seemed like a happy ending as you were granted with one wish of any kind, you realized that justice, hope, and peace were forever gone.Justice had not been served and the hope of everyone making it out alive had slipped away.You did what you thought was right, and that was wishing for everything to be back to normal in Japan. No more monsters. No Mirror World. Japan was back to its normality. The Kamen Riders that you faced during the war had all been resurrected and returned to their lives. Their memories of Kamen Riders and you had been erased. Everything and everyone went back to normalcy.There was nothing else left for you in Japan, and so you decided to travel around the world. You took all of your belongings with you and left the past behind.You chose Vale, the eastern end of the newly found continent named Sanus, and began your journey. All you knew about the kingdom was that it was filled with an arsenal of airships and weapons along with technological innovations that were far more advanced than your homeland.But what you didn't know is that you were being welcomed into another world of bloody evolutions.
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