《Blackthorne》Rewrite Chapter 55.8: The Origin of the Origin of You
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A semblance of a smile arose on his twisted and ruined face. It was the first time in the whole of his life that someone had shown any real concern for his well-being.
They spoke for a time of small things, of the little things that their lives had revolved around. Scott spoke of how he had been raised. Cerene spoke of her childhood as well. They stayed there for quite some time in the shadows of the trees of the ancient forest. It was not until the sun rose high in the sky that the light of day became uncomfortable. His flesh already scarred by fire; it would not do to have him burned further by the sun. Gently, Cerene moved him into the wood.
"I think I might be able to stand up if you help me," said Scott. Some strength had returned to him over time.
"Don't force yourself," she said with a frown.
"It's alright. We can't stay here forever," said Scott.
Cerene closed her eyes. "We can't, huh?" A sigh rose up from deep within. "I suppose not."
She helped him to his feet. He wobbled a little, but he did manage to stand. "Are you sure?" she asked.
"Yes. Sorry to be such a burden," he replied.
Cerene made a scoffing sound, a harsh little gasp that bespoke her sincere disbelief that he had said such a thing. "You are far from a burden."
Scott attempted a smile, but the flesh of his lips pulled back oddly and revealed his teeth in a disturbing manner. Cerene flinched slightly at the effect but gathered her nerve. He had received such horrible wounds because he had come to her aid.
She helped him to move forward at a slow, but steady pace. They had to stop frequently, and he was forced to rely on her entirely. After the third quick rest stop he asked, "I wonder why my injuries don't hurt much. You'd think I would be screaming in pain or something."
Cerene laughed softly. "That's the effect of our bond, silly."
"Our bond?" asked Scott.
She pouted at him. "Don't tease me... I know you can feel our connection."
"I'm not from around here, remember? I still don't know about a lot of these things." During their previous conversation about their childhood, it had been revealed that they really were from two different worlds. Neither were certain what to make of it, but it explained many things about their current situation.
"Right," she said, a slight tremor in her tone. He had literally crossed over from another world to help her. It was a miracle plain and simple. Her cries for help had reached across the great divide between realities and brought him to her in her time of need. Such a thing, it was unbelievable and yet it was true.
"When we forged a bond, it unlocked one of my true powers, Angel's Sweet Blessing. It allows me to utilize my healing abilities, and when I am close to you it will soothe both of our wounds and cause us to be free of pain to some extent. Even if we are separated over a distance, the effect will remain to some extent. The stronger our bond, the more powerful my blessing."
"That's wonderful." said Scott, his creepy smile that showed too much of his blackened gums returned. "How do we strengthen that bond?"
Cerene's eyes widened a little and her nostrils flared slightly. She looked away and a slight tinge of pink appeared on her cheeks. "We get to know each other better..."
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"Oh, so like when we were talking earlier?" he asked softly.
The angel laughed nervously, and her face reddened further. "Well, that's part of it..."
"Are you alright? You sound a little odd," he said.
Cerene laughed again, a small halting little laugh. "Yes, I'm fine. Just, fine. No need to worry."
"Come on, tell me..." said Scott.
She bit her lower lip then glanced at him before looking away once more. "I, uh, well that is we..."
"Hey, if it's too much to talk about then it's alright." Scott had a slight inkling of what she was getting at and wanted to take some of the burden from her. If he was right, then he was in no condition to strength the bond anyway. He was barely in a condition that qualified as being alive. Without her healing power, he would no doubt have died from the pain of his wounds alone, or at least have been driven mad.
"We, uhm... Can we discuss it once we get you fixed up at the hospital?" asked Cerene quickly. She had found an easy way out of the discussion.
"Sure." He did not want to pressure her in any way, and beside that she was his only hope of survival. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her.
The angel smiled softly then slipped a little closer against him. "I'm so glad that I met someone like you."
Scott froze up for a moment then slowly relaxed. "I– that might have been the first time anyone ever said something like that to me."
That admission was a heart-breaking thing for Cerene to hear. "Well, it's true. I'm still trying to accept that you did so much for me."
He was quiet for a time, but when he spoke it was with sincerity in his tone. "I've spent my life trying to find a place where I belong. That never happened. I settled for trying to find something, anything, to make me feel like my life had meaning." He tilted his head toward where he thought she was. "You know, sort of like I wanted to do one good thing in life before the end."
Cerene suddenly gripped his hand tight and cried out, "I am so glad that the good thing you did was me!"
They both froze for a moment as her words echoed through the forest. A gentle breeze blew through the area and carried a single leaf past them. It fluttered and rolled gently before descending to the earth.
"Uh..." began Cerene, her eyes wide and her face bright red, "That is..."
"Yeah, and... Uhm..." said Scott uncomfortably. Her admission had been both awkward and sweet. It was no doubt a slip of the tongue, but it held certain implications that sounded both wonderful and impossible in his current condition. There was also the fact that she had been brutally beaten in a bid to capture and claim her as property only a few hours before.
"Sorry... I swear I'm not like that..." she said softly. "I mean at school they... I ..."
Scott squeezed her hand softly then slowly shook his head. "You're a sweet and warm-hearted person, Cerene."
She sniffled a little then leaned against him. "Thank you..." she said, her eyes softly shimmering with her unspent emotions. They did that a lot since he had appeared in her life.
A random thought crossed Scott's mind after his scarred flesh felt a certain undeniably sweet pressure pressing against it. "So... Just how old are you, Cerene?"
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Her lips quirked into a smile of wry amusement. "Old enough to know what you're really asking."
"Oh, what lovely weather we are having," said Scott while he pretended to look up at the sky.
She laughed warmly then unleashed a sweet giggle. "If it really matters that much to you, I just turned eighteen last month."
A relieved sigh parted his lips, and she laughed once more. "My master is a naughty boy, huh?"
He could not help but laugh as well. "I don't know about that master thing, but I'll own up to being naughty. I just wanted to know where we stood since I feel something amazing pressing against me."
Her nostrils flared once more, and her lips parted gently. A silly thought insisted upon itself. "Amazing, huh?" She tilted her head to the side then gently pressed herself against him a little further.
"Well... I'm certainly amazed," he admitted. "I must look like a half-done hamburger but there you are..."
A dulcet laugh slipped from her lips then she kissed him warmly on the shoulder. "Thank you for your kindness."
"It's kindness to ask you your age and comment on your tits?" asked Scott curiously.
Cerene smiled. "Yes. Yes, it is."
Her sweet voice made him attempt to smile as well, but halfway to completion he remembered what had happened the night before. His expression, what was left of it, darkened. "I can't believe those two assholes hurt you like that."
"It's just how things are for stray demons. We can become a danger to the public, so tamers are given license to subdue us by any means necessary."
"That's just sick, though. He could have just treated you with a little kindness and none of this would have happened," said Scott.
"I'm not really a stray, so it's probably hard for you to understand. A real stray is –" She took a moment to collect her thoughts then slowly began to speak once more,"—a real stray is a girl who has become a monster in both mind and body. She may still be able to hold a conversation sometimes, but she'll see a human as nothing more than meat or mate."
"Wait, so a stray is likely to attack people?" asked Scott.
"Yes. A stray demon may either attempt to eat or mate with a human, sometimes both." She winced then said, "Sometimes both at once."
"I see," said Scott.
Cerene nodded. "When a demon is outside too long, alone and has no human connection... she becomes changed, twisted. It started to happen to me, that's why I act the way that I do."
"You don't seem twisted," said Scott. If anything, she seemed more human than the guy who attacked her.
"But I am. Normally, I am a goofy little thing. I am clumsy and make weird jokes that no one seems to get. I become excited by the silliest things. As I am now, I am calmer and more composed. In another few weeks I might have changed altogether and become a stray angel."
"What would you be like as a stray?" asked Scott in an almost morbid sense of fascination.
"Cold, aloof. I would be like a marble statue. I would see the suffering of human beings as a natural thing and only intervene if it seemed absolutely necessary." Cerene took a moment to consider her words then continued, "I might take vengeance on the wicked, and try to help the sick or feeble, but most of the time I would just watch and silently judge humanity for their actions."
Scott took a moment to reflect on that. "As a stray angel, you would become judgmental and distant?"
Cerene nodded her head then said, "Yes. Other demons might become raving beasts, or vicious sex crazed maniacs. I would become coldly logical and have trouble relating to the suffering of others due to my false sense of personal perfection. At least, that's what the doctors told me after my awakening."
A sudden thought occurred to him. "Would you have attacked people you perceived as wicked, even if they were not that bad?"
"Possibly. Angels have occasionally attacked and killed people for all manner of perceived arbitrary ills. A while back, one killed a man and woman because they were having sex in a corn field and they were yet unwed. They lived miles away from any town or city, but such lewdness could not be tolerated by a stray angel."
The strange laws regarding the capture of stray demons began to make more sense to Scott. Super powered women with aberrant thought processes roaming the countryside might make for the adoption of altogether different societal views on how to treat such beings. It did not excuse what the bastard had done the night before, but it did put his disgusting actions into perspective.
Henry, in Scott's ruined eyes, was the sort of trash who hid behind the technical necessity of laws used to protect civilization as a safeguard to defend his right to continue hideous activities. Not technically committing a crime, he could operate in such a cruel way and do whatever he wanted. It was clear that he enjoyed the suffering that he caused.
There was more to see, to experience, in this memory. Yet, from that moment on Scott began to lose himself. He began to drift in and out, missing most of what happened next. Every so often, he would skirt back into a conscious understanding of the past, but it was nearly impossible to hold onto it. At times the memory would even shift and change into something that was almost a parody of itself.
However, with each shift in the story he learned a little more about the possible origins of who he was and why he acted the way that he did. Eventually, the various versions of his origin tale all led to one moment. Sometimes he faced him alone. Sometimes he faced him with friends at his side. In the end of each path, he always faced a man named Jedu who proved to be far more capable than he had any right to be.
There was something of a dark organization in that story, a wicked queen who wanted to conquer the world and drain it dry of all its life lead it in some version. That same queen wanted to conquer the world for different reasons in others. Either way, Jedu was the weakest of her generals. The weakest had crushed Scott utterly in most instances and cast his soul into the darkness beyond reality.
Unwilling to simply die, his will manifest itself as a desire to seek out a possibility to return and defeat the ones who plagued the world, he now called home. The strain caused his soul to shatter, but he used that spiritual momentum. The largest piece of his soul returned to that cosmic locale though it shifted to a parallel world where it manifested as a broken man who was mentally incapable of understanding why people did bad things, but this pure soul was given the chance to heal. The rest of his soul shards shot off across the dread expanse between realities.
Most of those shards were consumed by the chaos between the realms of existence. One of those shards, however, grew brighter as the eons passed. It traveled through the chaos as a darkly twisting form shrouded in light. Like a streaking comet in an eternal night sky, it created a tremendous wake in its passing.
Some of the entities of the void tried to capture that light. They failed. Others became enamored of its steadfast glow and began to follow it. As it vaulted through that impossible place between realities, those who followed it became increasing attached to it. This shining thing had a purpose. It existed for a reason. The shiny thing was important somehow.
That soul shard passed near several realities and caused all manner of issues for the various Scotts who lived within it. The soul shard knew none of those concerns, though the mind who was now along for the ride could sense the severity of how the wake of the shard’s passing influenced those realities. In at least one instance, it caused quantum interference during a world transfer which inevitably made one of the souls on that realm shatter as well. The pieces were largely contained, and even reformed for the most part, but the damage was done.
As the shard flew through the ever-night, Scott became more aware of himself. Not just the man, or the dragon he had become in life, but of Scott in general. He saw them, the Scotts of the multiverse.
Something changed inside of him during the quickened memory of those untold eons. He regained his sense of self but lost something precious. He grew distant from his renewing memories. What did human life matter, anyway? The body died, but the soul merely left it and found a new vessel.
It all seemed so pointless. In the world for which he was inevitably heading, there was at least a slight purpose in that the dream of life kept the souls safe while the angels formed in his image battled the chaos beasts that tried to enter that realm. Yet, ultimately it was just that. A dream.
“None of it is real,” whispered his thoughts as his soul shard vaulted through the heavens. “None of it matters…”
He remembered what Hades had said. There would be a price to pay, for good or ill. He was paying it now. The closer he drew to his current life, the more it impacted him. Yet, there was a sense of strangeness. There was a grand distance to it all that might never be crossed.
In order to regain what was lost, he had learned too much about reality and a single existence on one or even two worlds did not truly impact his thoughts any longer.
What was the point of it all? Why struggle? Why strive to achieve anything, when in the end it would all be rendered meaningless upon death.
In many respects, life was nothing more than a game to be played and then discarded once the round was over.
Scott hated those thoughts. They were so cold. So empty. Yet, it was impossible not to think of those facts.
There were so many versions of him all throughout the many realms of existence that it seemed as though their very existence rendered his unnecessary. What was the point of it? Why bother? He had learned enough to lose his will to live, but not enough to understand why he should.
In truth, it was not until he began to think over what he had learned in the beginning of this strange odyssey inside his ancient memories that he began to see a hint of purpose. In that life he had been alone, as alone as anyone might possibly be in a world filled with people. Having made the choice to care about someone other than himself he had been struck down but proven instrumental in helping her.
His thoughts on the pointlessness of it all surfaced once more, but the memory of how that lonely girl had poured her heart out to him and confided her supposed shame filled his senses. Scott could not help the distance he felt toward thoughts of life, but as time passed and he thought on those events he could not help but begin to have an inkling of understanding.
“Perhaps there is no meaning to life. It’s just something to do…” his mind whispered across the void. “Yet, it’s better to do nothing with people who care about you that to spend an eternity trapped alone in the void.”
His ponderings caused more memories of his current life to surface. He saw himself playing innumerable games. Each of those games was in search of something, and in truth the interactions that his characters had meant a lot to him at the time.
The soul shard glowed brighter as it began to approach its final destination. The distance in his heart was insurmountable, but the reason of his intellect came to terms with the situation. People became highly invested in things that ultimately did not matter. In the end, it was possibly better to care deeply about nothing of importance than to care about nothing at all.
Names came to mind. Shara. Ashton. Sonja. Each of those girls had become uselessly invested in him, and yet… despite the distance inside his heart he could not see that as a bad thing.
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