《Blackthorne》Rewrite Chapter 8.1: Bath Time Accords
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Cries of panic echoed through the air as three onions fled for their lives. Blackthorne watched incredulously, as yet another group of the hungry little burger accessories simply ran away from them. The tall grass shook heavily as they hopped away as quickly as their adorably little root feet could take them.
He glanced down at the zombie onion then back to its living relatives as they fled into the grassland. "Again? Seriously?" he asked with a snort.
"It seems our darling child has protected us once again, beloved," said Saelil lightly.
"Right," said Scott with a chuckle. Since the creation of the zombie onion, the screaming onions seemed far less inclined to start a fight. Was it some instinctual sense of self-preservation or did they simply dislike the way the little thing acted? Either way, their journey continued largely unmolested thanks to its presence.
The purple onion staggered over to Blackthorne then leaned back, looked up at him, and moaned in a strangely adorable manner. For a brief instance, he thought that the little thing wanted to be praised. "Uh, thanks. Good work onion."
It wobbled a slightly then moaned in an approximation of happiness before it turned and looked up at Saelil. "What a good child," she said. Whether she knew that it was looking at her, or merely continued with what Blackthorne chose to do, it was impossible to tell. Even so, the little onion made a strangely happy chirruping noise then hopped up and down.
"Pretty lively for a zombie..." said Blackthorne curiously.
He did not fail to notice that two pink circles appeared near the creature's mouth hole. Was the thing blushing? Could an onion, much less a zombie onion, blush? The little thing began to moan lightly, in a manner that sounded a bit like a small child singing.
"Adorable," said Blackthorne, his eyes wide. He wanted one for a pet after witnessing that little spectacle.
"Well, he is a bit advanced. I prefer children who know how to mind their mother and father," replied Saelil lightly.
"Oh, and who's the father supposed to be?" he asked, though he was certain of her answer.
She merely laughed and held on to his back a little tighter. "Oh, I wonder..."
He snorted in amusement at her antics then got moving again. The town of Argent was visible in the far distance.
Their journey was largely uneventful and soon they arrived at the town gates. A guard whom Blackthorne did not know called out, "Dreamer! What has happened here?"
Several guardsmen came running when they heard the cry. The sight of a man covered in minor wounds while carrying a child with her eyes wrapped in cloth were enough to cause concern. The weird little onion that walked beside them was of interest as well, but that was a story that could wait.
"Who do I speak to about a criminal matter in this region?" asked Blackthorne.
"Criminal matter? What has happened?" asked the first guardsman once more.
"I'll speak it plainly. The child on my back was kidnapped from the city of Kaasvalia and imprisoned in the root cellar of a farm house," said Blackthorne before he took a breath. "I discovered her after getting lost in the grassland and brought her here in the hopes of her finding her family."
"What?" asked the man, his mouth going dry and his eyes growing wide. He turned quickly and told a nearby guardsman to go fetch the captain.
"Why are her eyes—" began one of the other guardsmen, as his companion ran off. He stopped short, however when he saw her ear poke up through her hair. "A dark elf!"
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All eyes went to the guardsman who made the outcry then over to the child. Blackthorne's eyes narrowed as he sensed a strange sentiment begin to rise in the men. Were there issues between humans and elves in this city?
The guardsman who challenged Blackthorne noticed the change in his posture and began to speak quickly, "There have been a spate of such abductions in the last few years. Over a dozen young elf girls from prominent families have been stolen and ransomed, though the child is never returned to her parents."
Saelil made a nervous noise then drew tight against Blackthorne's back. She knew her likely fate was to never see her family again, but to hear it mentioned with such obvious finality was unsettling.
Blackthorne answered questions briefly while they waited for the captain to arrive. It did not take long for the massive militiaman to arrive, though he sported a strange accessory. He wore a stained bib that had the words, 'Steak is justice' embroidered on the front. At the corner of his mouth, a bit of sauce still lingered.
"Dreamer? Tell—" began the captain. He stopped mid-sentence when he noticed the little purple onion hanging around near the other man's feet. "—is that a zombified onion?"
"It is our child..." said Saelil quietly.
Blackthorne closed his eyes tightly then sighed, "Is there a law against turning screaming onions into zombies?"
"None that I know of, though necromancy is not exactly welcome in this town," said the captain. The onion made a strange moan that sounded like it was trying to say, 'boo.' The captain eyed it for a moment then looked back to Blackthorne. "I only asked because there was a report sent out roughly a week ago that detailed a reported kidnapping of a young dark elf girl. Her family is noted for being powerful necromancers."
"I am Saelil, of house Lothuialeth. Does the report concern me?" she asked. Her voice held strength, but it wavered a little near the end.
The captain's eyes lit-up after hearing her answer. "Come inside. The commander's out of town on leave. I'll act in his place," he said before he glanced down at the onion.
Blackthorne saw that the man was about to speak, and beat him to it, "We're a package deal. He helped us avoid a lot of fighting on the way to town." The onion turned toward him then made a chirruping noise before it hopped up and down.
"Well, it seems harmless enough," mumbled the captain. The onion chose that moment to step closer to the grass of the side of the road. The nearby grass immediately wilted then began to corrode before the captain's wary eyes.
"Captain..." said one of the guardsmen nervously eyeing the onion.
The captain merely sighed then said, "At any rate, follow me."
The adventuring trio of man, elf, and onion followed the captain into the nearby guardhouse then began a proper discussion of the events surrounding Saelil's abduction and rescue.
Not long after the story began, a dozen riders rode out. After learning the location where Saelil was held captive, and the fact that the men always returned at night, the captain hoped to capture the kidnappers by arriving on scene first then waiting while hidden from view.
After the entire story was explained, the captain ordered a room be rented for Saelil at the Screaming Onion Tavern. She refused to stay anywhere that her champion did not, and no one thought it to be a good idea for them to try and ship her off to Kaasvalia. A message was sent through magical means, a device that worked similar to a fantasy world's version of a phone call to an operator in Kaasvalia.
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Once all was said and done, Blackthorne and Saelil sat in her room while they ate dinner. Meals were paid for by the city, so neither of them decided to skimp on the food.
"Beloved, I may be dying," said Saelil while she lightly rubbed her swollen stomach. A moment later she moaned loudly then tilted her head toward him. "Rescue me once again?"
"You didn't have to eat the entire cow, you know," said Blackthorne in jest.
She flopped backwards onto her bed and let her arms fall to the side. "The cow should know its place," she said before unleashing an uncomfortable sigh of discontent. Her stomach was so full that she was miserable.
"Mhmm," he said before he tore into a chicken leg with great zeal. A proper meal was so much better than rat meat and apples. Plus, compared to his own cooking Scraggles and Jackie did an amazing job. It was the best meal that he'd had in weeks. The cheap fare he purchased at the tavern before was just to get by at the time, but the sumptuous feast that they were able to acquire was of far higher quality.
Once they finished eating, Blackthorne made a noteworthy observation. "We stink."
"Such vulgarities, my champion... to speak of such a perfect creature as myself in such a manner..." said Saelil, before she groaned a little and rubbed her overfed tummy.
"I notice you left me and the onion out of it," said Blackthorne.
"Hmm?" she asked lightly.
The little elf rolled over onto her stomach then spoke toward the wall without looking at him her. "Perhaps, you are correct. You may bathe with me now, but do be mindful of my virtue."
Blackthorne drew back a little at her suggestion. "Uh, we're definitely not doing that together."
"Beloved... you would leave me alone in such a place?" she asked slowly.
"Well, yeah. You're old enough to bathe yourself," he said.
"Yes... I suppose," she said softly before she wrapped her arms around her pillow and curled into a slight fetal position.
"Saelil?" he asked.
"You should go bathe... I do not stink as you do," she said softly.
He stood up and walked over to her. He reached out and placed his hand to her shoulder. She flinched slightly, but then relaxed.
No one would accuse him of being the sharpest tool in the shed, or the brightest of bulbs, but even he could tell when someone was being this obvious.
Saelil wanted to take a bath, he was sure of it. She also did not want to be alone in a place that she did not know.
Blackthorne racked his brain for an answer to this dilemma. He definitely could not go bathe with her. She was a little girl, despite her age. If she were much younger, an actual infant, it might be different. Someone that young cannot bathe themselves, so a bath buddy would be necessary.
He glanced down at the onion briefly. The little purple zombie was not a good bath-time companion for a girl terrified of being alone. So then, what did he do?
After a moment, an idea came to him. It was a bit of a long shot, but maybe it would work.
"Saelil. I need to go speak with someone for a moment. I'll be back soon," he said.
She rolled over quickly and looked up at him with red-rimmed eyes. "You're leaving me?"
"Just for a moment," he said. "I'll be right back, and there are guards outside to protect you."
He started to pull away and she reached out, "Can't I go with you?"
Blackthorne looked at the girl for a moment. She had begun to shake a little, though she clearly tried to school her features to seem calmer than she truly was at the moment.
"Well, it does concern you," he said gently. "Let's go together."
"Of course, beloved," she said quickly. Saelil rose to her knees then offered him a tentative smile. She even tried to make light of the situation. "For a moment I believed that you were abandoning me to go call upon another woman."
He snorted a little then said, "Actually, I was."
"What?" she asked, her tone incredulous and slightly hurt.
"Come on. Let's get going and you'll understand," he said before he picked her up and placed her on the floor. "Onion needs to stay here, though."
She tilted her head down and her hair flopped lightly over her eyes. In the process much of her expression went unseen. "I see..."
Blackthorne knocked on the door to alert the guards then opened it. "We need to go speak with someone in the tavern."
The guards glanced at each other then looked back to him. Two of them immediately paired off and followed behind Blackthorne and Saelil as the dreamer led them down stairs. He first met with Scraggles and inquired about his true target. Upon receiving knowledge of her whereabouts they moved on.
"Hey, Jackie," said Blackthorne as they quartet walked into the backroom area of the kitchen.
"Well, hey yourself he—" she said as she turned toward the sound of his voice, a well-sculpted smile on her lips. Her words lost their energy and finished as more of a question than a greeting. "—ro?"
Saelil took one look at the strange woman with the kitchen knife. Beautiful and crafted in a manner that most humanoid races would find attractive, she was clearly a threat in many ways. The fact that her only clothing was an apron and a thong that barely clothed anything of import did not help the situation. She gripped Blackthorne's hand tighter with her tiny little fingers.
"I'm sorry to impose on you, but I have a request..." said Blackthorne.
"Do you now?" she asked before she lightly tapped her lower lip with tip of her knife. "I suppose you did not come for a special group rate...?"
The guards mumbled a few things that implied reality would never be so kind to them, but Blackthorne ignored the noisy background characters and stepped forward with Saelil in tow. "Ah no, but I would like to know how much you would charge to take a bath with Saelil."
"Beloved!" squawked Saelil in shock. "Just what do you intend, here?"
Jackie quirked her eyebrow in a casual manner then said, "I hope you did not mean that in the way it sounded. Some things are never going to be on the menu."
Blackthorne slapped his palm lightly against his face and sighed deeply. After drawing his hand down toward his chin, he said, "I'm not being a pervert. I just need your help."
"So you say," said Jackie before she crossed her arms over her chest and cocked her head to the side.
He offered her a sincere expression and ignored her casual jibe at his expense. "Do you know anything about what happened?"
Jackie looked down at Saelil. The little elf girl tried to meet her gaze for a moment, but slowly looked away and stepped closer to Blackthorne. "I've heard a few things. Some might even be true."
"She shouldn't be alone right now... but I can't go to the baths with her for obvious reasons," he told her.
"Some men would jump at the chan—" began Jackie, only to be silenced by a glare from Blackthorne.
His eyes narrowed and the bridge of his nose crinkled in a way that gave his face a hateful expression. "Some men need to be set on fire and left to burn."
Jackie stared openly at him for a moment, her mouth hanging slightly open. She did not know what to say to his pronouncement, though she did agree with it whole-heartedly.
There was a stunned silence in the room for a brief moment, but the silence turned to shock and concern as he continued to speak. "When I found her, she was chained to a wall in a root cellar. If you won't help her then I'll have to do it, even if it's not a good idea."
A complicated expression crossed Jackie's face. Whatever her thoughts might be, she kept them to herself for a moment. "It is a wonder that you found her..."
Saelil bit her lip gently then said, "I prayed for the goddess to send me an angel..."
Blackthorne coughed uncomfortably at the words she spoke, and the tone. It was true enough, but the moment made it into something that embarrassed him a little.
"And... one came for you," said Jackie. She took a deep breath and gripped her knife tightly for a moment.
"Why are you fighting so strongly to get this woman to bathe with me?" asked Saelil after a short time passed. She continued to eye the knife Jackie held, however.
"You flinched when I put my hand on your shoulder earlier," he said softly. "I don't think taking a bath with a man you barely know is good for you."
"Beloved..." whispered Saelil, her eyes wide and her voice filled with complicated emotion.
Blackthorne's expression softened slightly as he spoke to Jackie once more. "I'd think you of all people would understand what she needs right now," said Blackthorne.
Jackie took a deep breath then said, "You are going to owe me for this."
"I'll pay your price, but it might take some time to get the funds tog—" he began, only to have Jackie move forward with incredible swiftness. She silenced him with a finger to his lips.
Jackie's eyes locked with his for a moment then she asked, "Don't say things if you don't mean them."
"I said that I would pay..." said Blackthorne.
Her eyebrows pressed together and her nostrils flared slightly. "Yes, you certainly will."
Jackie needed to finish her work before she could keep her promise. She quickly sent them away and turned back to her vegetables. Knife in hand, she began to chop onions for the stew.
Blackthorne's voice echoed inside her head. What she knew of the situation with Saelil. The man's conviction toward helping her. The fact that he went down into the dark and helped her get to safety, caused a strange sensation inside of her.
Her eyes became reddened as she chopped her vegetables. Slowly, tears began to slide down her face. "Stupid onions," she said before she wiped the back of her hand against her eyes. The thought of a young girl along in the dark, taken from her home by human trash, filled her mind for a time.
She chopped a little faster, as the tears fell more quickly. Eventually, she stopped with one mighty chop that cleaved an onion in half. Tears plopped down atop her cutting board as she felt a sharp pang of jealousy. Joy for the salvation of such a small girl, and anger at her own lot in life, warred within her mighty breast.
Jackie stared down at the ruination of the onion that she had just assaulted. She closed her eyes and tried to shove down the memories that rose up, but she failed. "I cried out, too... but no one came for me," she whispered in a quavering tone that turned into a sob.
She gnawed on her lower lip for a moment before she slapped her hands down on the cutting board and said, "You're damned right you're going to pay for it..."
The floodgates were open. Jackie could no longer hold back everything that she had bottled up inside. She spoke at length about the unfairness of it all, and of the joy it brought her to know that another young girl did not suffer as she did. Jackie told it all to the foolish onion that dared to make her cry.
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