《Seven》Chapter 7: Archy and Third
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“Woah, that guy’s going nuts on those trees.”
Without warning, the person jumped up and a bow appeared in his hand. With a flourish he fired arrow after arrow straight towards the leaves. She felt a pang of admiration as she saw them pin every falling leaf through the middle with an arrow. She didn’t know they could be shot so quickly and accurately. They could turn a wolf into a porcupine within a minute.
“An Archer?”
TidalWave looked in interest as the figure continued to fire at the leaves. Soon they changed their tactic as they began to target specific leaves and left others to float to the ground.
“What’s he doing?” TidalWave looked curiously at the display.
The leaves slowly gave way to open air and Seven gasped as she saw the perfect replica of a bow and arrow made out of leaves.
“He’s making pictures.”
TidalWave whistled softly in response. The archer had made sure that not only did they hit specific arrows, but that they shot each arrow in such a way that they would guide the leaves towards forming the bow and arrow outline.
The archer placed his bow and arrows away and walked up to the trees again.
*BANG* *BANG*
“Man.” TidalWave could barely see the figure behind all the leaves that were falling, “They must really hate trees.”
*BANG BANG*
Seeing the leaves that covered almost the entire area Seven felt excited. ‘I wonder what they’ll make now?’
They watched intently as the leaves fell to the ground.
“Hey, where’d they go?” Seven had lost sight of the archer when they’d been covered by all the falling foliage.
“Oh my god, a little boy is lost in the woods.” A voice called out from behind her. “We must alert the guard immediately!”
“Oh crap!” Seven jumped back at the sight of the archer standing behind her with his bow and arrow and pointed at her chest.
“I wouldn’t try to run without answering any questions lady. You’re a bigger person than my usual targets.”
“Excuse me?”
‘Did he just call me fat?’ Seven felt offended.
The moment the words were out of his mouth the archer seemed to sense the mood, and he also saw her scowl.
“Wait, wait, truce.” he lifted his bow and arrow up and removed his mask to show the stricken face of a young white man, “I did not mean that the way it came out, I just mean… my usual targets are leaves. And you are bigger than a leaf.” He raised his hands and waved them around frantically. “But not too much bigger, like, definitely human-sized that’s for sure.”
He looked at Seven who’s face had turned from scowling to almost laughing.
“I’m not helping my case here am I?”
“I got your point after the first second.” She reassured him.
His expressions were pretty readable. That was definitely something she could relate to. He felt harmless enough when he wasn’t massacring leaves. The archer chuckled at her response and a look of relief crossed his face, swiftly replaced by caution as he saw that Seven was alone.
“Hey, where’d your friend go?”
The archer gulped as he felt a sword slide over his neck and Seven smiled as TidalWave walked out from behind their visitor and caught him in a beautiful surprise attack. He had pressed his body against the player’s back so that they couldn’t turn around and respond in time even if they wanted to fight.
Or so she thought.
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TidalWave lifted his eyebrows in surprise as he felt something push the skin of his throat lightly. It was an arrow that the archer had snuck into his hand as TidalWave had come up behind him, “Slice that sword across my neck and you’ll be speaking through your a throat-hole until your next death.”
“That’s not how the game works, you dunce.” TidalWave stood his ground and kept the sword pressed against the archer’s neck.
“But it sounds hella cool.” The archer countered.
“You’re right.” TidalWave admitted, “I wish I’d thought of that line.”
The archer’s eyes sparkled as he saw that TidalWave didn’t seem angry at him. “You know, I’ve been wanting to cool off for a while.”
Without warning, his entire body burst into shining golden flames.
-5
The damage figure floated above TidalWave as he cursed and let go of the archer. The burning person laughed and jumped through the air and in a second he was far out of their reach back where he had been shooting leaves. The flames died down as he looked at them with a smile.
“But I don’t really want to get a red PK name.”
[Archy has requested a duel against your party. Do you wish to accept? Yes / No]
She looked at TidalWave and he nodded. She clicked accept.
“Ah, the chance encounters often lead to the greatest adventures.”
Seven hesitated as she heard a new voice call out to them from behind the archer.
“What the? Who the hell said that.” The archer seemed just as confused as them.
Next to his figure, a new person appeared from thin air. An almost comically round person wearing a flowing blue robe and large pointy blue hat. He hadn’t come out of the treeline or hidden behind a bush.
He simply had not been there and now was.
“A one on two battle hardly seems fair. Although this man was the person to initiate the engagement.” The newcomer waved his hand and a staff and black book appeared out of thin air into his arms. “But the battle shall be met with two.”
[Player - Third- Has requested to join the party of -Archy-. The player will be entered into the duel if their request is accepted. Yes / No]
“Sounds good to me.” TidalWave interjected, “Just the thing I’ve been waiting for.”
He hadn’t been feeling comfortable with tag-teaming the archer no matter how cocky the person was. There were no stakes for this duel as well. It seemed like it would be a good old-fashioned brawl.
“Don’t slow me down.” Archy frowned at the newcomer but accepted his request to join the party.
The newcomer nodded and eyed Seven and TidalWave closely.
Seven slowly walked behind the trees to provide herself cover, keeping her eyes on the two opponents. The magi's body was clearly visible from all angles and was watching her intently. The archer looked like something was distracting him as he watched out for TidalWave.
‘Okay, we’ll start slow, a magic blast or two.’
Since both she and TidalWave were short-range fighters they needed to jump in and attack the enemy, but they didn’t know that so if she fired a couple of magic blasts then she might be able to lure them into a false sense of security. She waited until she’d gone behind the tree and then sped up, jumping out and aiming her wand at the distracted archer.
‘And... he’s disappeared.’
As she circled behind a tree, the archer had disappeared from her sight. The magi smiled and waved at her as she came out and she fired magic blasts at him in response. He lifted his staff as the magic blasts came in close.
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-6
-6
“Ow.” her eyes widened as the air in front of the magi distorted and warped.
Black and purple holes appeared in the air, shimmering as they seemed to warp their surroundings slightly. Her magic blasts still passed through the rifts that had appeared but the moment they did she received half their damage in return.
-12
The damage number floated above the magi’s head as he dodged the first blast and then was hit by the second.
He stood still again and waved his staff at her, causing rifts to form and disappear directly on her body.
-11
-11
‘Oh, crap.’
She ducked back behind the tree and was relieved that no more rifts formed. They took a split second to appear and then they disappeared within another second. Enough time for the magic blasts and attacks to pass through or for her to dodge if she got the timing right.
She could only take a maximum of 3 hits when she was on full health.
‘He must need a line of sight to use the attack.’ She drank a potion as she recuperated and wondered how the magi’s attacks worked.
+25
They had looked like they appeared on the spot rather than being shot out of his staff like her magic blasts were. It was possible that he chose the spot to form the rifts, so if she moved fast enough then he wouldn’t have enough time to aim at her.
‘That just means I have to move faster than he can plan for.’
With her plan formed, she jumped out from behind the tree and prepared to run and stone shift straight towards the magi.
Only to come face to face with a giant spear shooting straight towards her.
“Stone shift!” She yelled out in surprise, causing the ground to tremble beneath her and her body to slide out of the way of the spear. If the attack had been any wider it would have hit her and she didn’t have a doubt that the attack would have killed her.
The magi was standing in the same spot. “Excellent timing.”
Seven ignored the praise and ran towards the magi. She could see his staff shifting in position slightly and her eyes widened.
“Stone shift.”
“Stone shift.”
She slid from side to side as rifts formed in the spot where she’d been only a split second before. She had caught onto his casting giveaway and his limitations.
The wizard smiled and fired another two rifts, not aimed just at the spot she was running but also where he thought she would stone shift.
She jumped at the last second to dodge them and he was forced to look up in dismay as she lifted her hand towards him and formed a spell in her palm, “Wind Blast.”
-29
The magi’s eyes widened as the spell knocked him back and the huge damage figure appeared over his head. Seven ran towards his tumbling figure but with another wave of his staff suddenly he was gone.
‘Teleportation?’ Seven had seen nothing happen before the man had completely disappeared from her sight.
“Not quite. A special class as well, eh? Quite the unique gathering we have here.” His voice resounded through the area and she turned around to catch him.
“Invisibility?” she said out loud, hoping she could determine his location by his response.
-11
-11
Two rifts appeared where she was standing and she stone shifted to the side in response.
“Behind you.”
She turned around in time to see the magi hit his staff against her and form a rift on her body.
He hadn’t moved from his original spot since disappearing.
-11
[You have been defeated by player: Third. The duel is still in progress. 1/2 teammates defeated. Would you like to revive on the spot? Yes / No]
“I am off to give aid to my temporary companion.” The magi waved goodbye and waddled off towards the distant sound of fighting.
Seven sighed and revived on the spot. She didn’t feel like reviving in the town. She trusted the two random strangers not to attack her. If only because the archer had gone to the trouble to avoid getting a Player Killer status. Also, it was because she wanted to see whether TidalWave could somehow turn the tides on this fight.
That archer had seemed really skilled.
[Player TidalWave has killed player: Archy. 1/2 of both teams have been defeated.]
‘Phew.’ Seven pushed through the treeline towards where the magi had walked.
She soon found herself amid a slaughter. Rifts being fired off by the magi surrounded TidalWave, but he dodged every single one of them before they arrived. He had already adjusted to the attacks and was quickly making his way towards the magi.
Third was slowly trying to back away but soon found himself with his back towards a tree.
“Well, this is a bother.” The magi muttered to himself.
‘Should I tell TidalWave that the magi can go invisible?’ Seven thought to herself as she watched, ‘Nah, wouldn’t be fair.’ She had been defeated already so it wouldn’t sit right with her. Besides, she trusted her teammate.
He was skilled enough to handle it on his own.
“Reaper’s Fury.”
-49
Contrary to her expectations the magi didn’t turn invisible and instead, TidalWave unleashed an attack that hit the magi from a short distance range, causing the magi to gasp in surprise as the sword killed him in one hit.
[Congratulations! Your party has slain the enemy team and won the duel.]
“Oh damn.”
Seven nearly jumped out of her skin as the archer appeared next to her and whistled.
“The guy didn’t even show me that move, he just got in close and basic attacked me to death. Must have been saving it.” The archer looked impressed. “So I see you lost on your end. I gotta thank that guy or it would have turned out even uglier. I got cocky there sorry.” He apologised.
“Indeed.” the magi appeared from where he had been slain and faced them with a smile. “I must admit, I too was trying to vent my frustrations.”
“Either of you two want to explain to me what’s going on?” Seven leaned against a nearby tree and crossed her arms.
“Ah well,” Archy looked at the magi, “I don’t know who that is. I got into this fight with a guy in the village. He came out of nowhere and tried to kick my ass.”
“I witnessed the event.” The magi chuckled. “You were handed your ‘ass’ quite succinctly.”
‘Oh god, this sounds familiar.’ Seven rolled her eyes.
TidalWave apparently had the same thought as her, “No chance this guy was called Attracting? Bit handsome, very annoying. Kind of like a stray dog that will piss on your leg if you let it do its own thing.”
“Indeed.”
“Yeah, that’s the guy.”
The two agreed almost in sync and then turned to stare daggers at each other.
“So you lost a fight against Attracting, then you came to take it out on the trees and us?” Seven was slowly piecing everything together, “Are you that much of a sore loser?”
Her cheeks reddened as she realised how blunt she’d just been. Luckily the archer hardly seemed to mind. He didn’t even seem that mad after losing to them. In fact, he seemed a lot more lively and talkative than before when he was starting the duel.
“I’m not angry because he won!” Archer raised his voice and then coughed lightly as Seven and TidalWave stared at him, “No, I’m angry because he cheap-shotted me.”
‘This also sounds familiar.’ Seven was experiencing severe deja vu, but didn’t want to interrupt his story.
“The guy has some sort of magic attack that automatically targets me and does damage.” The archer explained, “But that was fine. I found an easy solution was to hide out of sight behind another player. He couldn’t shoot me because it was a spell that targeted whoever was in front. I was winning since he couldn’t out damage me and I had already worked out what I thought were his weak points. The guy was only one or two hits away from death. But then, BUT THEN.” The archer waved his hands ferociously as he mimicked the fight, “He pulls some bullcrap move that hits me for all my health without even a blink between my shots.”
“Blue light?” Seven interrupted and brought her hands together to make the shape of the attack she’d seen Attracting use on TidalWave and the magic wolf. “About this big?”
“Yeah, that’s the one. Shot it right at me and it homed in on me when I tried to dodge.” He snorted in derision, “If the guy had that up his sleeve he should have used it from the beginning instead of leading me on bad sportsmanship I say.”
“It probably has a one-day cooldown.” TidalWave looked pensive, “You said he waited a few minutes to start the fight right? He fought me just a little over a day ago before either of us got a class. The times match up pretty much. He was probably buying time because his trump card hadn’t come off cooldown yet.”
“If it is not magic or ability given to him by his class,” The magi off to the side looked pensive, “Then I would wager it is a racial trait, most likely an ability which deals true damage.”
‘Woah. They got all that off the small pieces of information we had?’ They impressed Seven.
She had been constantly thinking about how to use her skills to avoid the attack if Attracting ever dueled her. But she ended up concluding that with her skill set she would always get hit no matter how she played unless she tried running away.
But now with the information they were giving her she was already thinking of new ways to avoid the attack.
“Damn, I’m impressed.” The archer didn’t even try to hide his admiration. “It makes sense. Still a cheap shot then if he can’t even beat me without that trump card.”
“I’ll say.” TidalWave smacked his face lightly as he recalled losing his fight, “Did he act all cocky after?”
“Oh man, did he. The only reason I’m out here taking it out on the trees is because I needed to cool down after that. Acting like top crap after he spent the whole fight losing.”
“Yes. I also had a similar experience, minus the special attack.” The magi nodded his head gravely.
Archy raised his hand to stop the magi from talking, “I’ve been meaning to ask this, but who the heck are you?”
“I good sir, am a wizard.” The wizard waved his staff majestically and motioned towards his pointy hat and long robe, “For your knowledge, it is said that a single wizard is equal to three magi.”
“You definitely look like you ate three magi.” Archy shot back.
“A wizard?” Seven blurted out, “You mean a hidden magi class right?”
“Indeed. A wizard young one.” He waved his staff majestically in the air, “Whereas the ancient magi learned to control the elements and harness their power, I draw mine from that void which stands beyond the world, transcending life and death, eternal and everlasting.”
“You mean space?” Archy looked lost.
“If that’s what you muggles want to call it,” His portly belly jiggled in anger, “then yes, space.”
Archy cocked his head. “So you’re a space magi?”
“Wizard.”
“Space magi wizard?”
“Shut your blabbering mouth and let me weave my tale you dundernugget!” The wizard bellowed out at Archy and the archer leaned back in submission.
“Fine fine. Go ahead.”
The wizard coughed as he turned back to Seven and TidalWave, “This Attracting fellow battled against me first. Before he got to that thing over there.” He pointed his staff at Archy, “Unfortunately I found that his every move countered mine perfectly! Why, his skill transcended the divine-”
“Does the way this guy talks make anyone else want to pull their ears out?”
“-and whenever I tried to cast a spell he would soundly disrupt me. Let alone my rifts, which were dodged perfectly. Right before I was done casting he would also attack me with his magic as well so that I couldn’t retaliate. Every spell of his perfectly cancelled mine, but even if he has that kind of ability as it is no easy feat as only I know the exact timing of my class’s spells. The man acted as though he could see the future.”
“So you got dumpstered without getting in a single shot.” Archy shook his head sympathetically. “Haven’t been there buddy. You completely suck.”
“Experience is the mother of skill” Third ignored the archer, “I followed Attracting to see if he would challenge anybody else and perhaps see if I could learn from him. However, when he fought the archer he was not nearly as skilled or dominant. He would have lost had the final attack not completely and utterly dominated and humiliated this man who was bragging loudly the entire fight until that moment.”
-Hey, I wouldn’t say he-
“Unlike the three of you, it would appear that he outclassed only myself.” The wizard continued, “But I followed this archer who ran off to see if he would be interested in training with me. I was much more taken with his skills despite his loud mouth. Little did I know that the moment I caught up with him that I would encounter even more skilled opponents.”
“Are you a support class?” Seven was confused on this point. “Your attacks look deadly but they dealt less damage than my normal attacks. Why is that?”
He nodded. “I am both a support and attack class. My basic attack is multipurpose, the rifts I create can be used to train, attack, and also support the attacks of my allies.”
“You.” He pointed his staff at Archy, “We are still in the same party. Could you fire an arrow towards that tree?”
Archy fired an arrow towards the nearby tree and as it flew a rift formed in front of it, causing the arrow to change its path and fly off into the woods.
“I don’t know if it impacts every single attack, but if a magic blast or arrow falls off course, I may be able to direct it from its course and cause it to hit an enemy from a spot they were not expecting. If it were used to redirect attacks at unexpected angles towards an opponent, I can’t see that person winning the fight easily.”
“But that’s insane.” TidalWave butted in, “If you had that much control during a time like this, it’s understandable, but during a fight? That would require skills. Genuine skill, not the ones provided by the system.”
“Exactly.” Third nodded in agreement, “As I said, experience is the mother of skill. This archer was so skilled that when I saw his fight I knew that perhaps we could form a team and play together. If only to practice enough to perfect my vision of what they could achieve with my skills.” The wizard could see Archy glowing at the praise. “I then saw his personality.
“Actually, he never fought me.” Seven added, “He fought TidalWave and got outclassed and I was watching.”
“And then she asked me to teach her how to play.” TidalWave smiled, “So we’ve been practicing dodging and fighting since then.”
“Oho.” Third smiled, “But you were so skilled during our fight. I just assumed that if this Attracting person was challenging strong players, then he would include you.”
“Aw, thanks.” Seven could feel a blush coming on. “But I’ve only been practicing since yesterday. I completely sucked before then. I couldn’t even dodge the rabbits.”
“That is bad.” Archy agreed.
“Yesterday?” The wizard was surprised, “That is a short amount of time. But…” He thought carefully, “You could use a bit of work on your aim.”
She recalled the moment she shot her blasts towards him and missed the first. It had been partly because she had just come out of the treeline and needed a moment to orient herself, but also because she wasn’t that good at shooting yet. She could point a wand and fire it in a general direction but when it came to precision, she was a far cry from a professional.
“I’m not a very difficult target to hit.”
“Haha, that’s true.” She was pretty embarrassed at this point.
“You definitely have a versatile class if used correctly.” TidalWave seemed impressed, and although he probably wouldn’t admit it, Archy seemed equally impressed.
“Well, the class itself is not as important as the skills behind it.” Third said humbly, then he turned towards the three of them. “And this entire duel has been most enlightening.”
“But how did you want to practice?” Seven was curious, if this guy had a plan to train then maybe she’d be able to learn from it as well, “You wanted to team up with Archy right?”
“Ah yes, you see, my basic attack consists of the rifts but their function isn’t only to deal damage or divert allied attacks into different directions. Each rift also deflects half the damage of attacks that flow through it.”
“Ah right.” She recalled that happening.
“So of course, if I had a practice partner with incredible aim and rapid rate of fire from different angles, I could attempt to practice placing my rifts where attacks will hit.”
“Ohh,” Realisation hit Archy’s eyes. “You want me to shoot at you? Well, why didn’t you say so!” His upbeat energy returned as he caught onto Third’s intentions. “Great, great, great. You definitely came to the right guy.”
“Well actually, I think I came to the right party.” The wizard sized up TidalWave and Seven, “Both skilled, and if we all practice together we could easily polish out our loose ends. If I had an archer and a magi to defend against, I daresay my skill would shoot through the roof.”
“All right.” TidalWave didn’t hesitate.
‘Damn he agreed quickly.’ Seven wasn’t against it since she also wanted to practice, but she hadn’t expected TidalWave to not even spend a split second deciding.
She shot him a look.
“What?” He replied innocently. “I have reasons I want to train up my skills as well.”
‘You’re already a monster.’ She chuckled as the thought crossed her mind.
“Okay, that sounds like fun.”
“Prove it to me.” Archy’s voice was strangely serious as he spoke, “Prove that we can learn from each other. Or else I’m walking away now.”
“That.. is fair enough.” Third nodded his head after a few seconds. “Well, I suppose you won’t listen unless we show you some quick progress.”
“You know it.” Archy agreed.
“Very well, how confident are you in shooting all those leaves of yours?”
Archy smiled and brought out his weapons.
*BANG*
He smacked the nearby tree and the three others stepped back as leaves dropped towards the ground. With swift motions, he shot an arrow through every single leaf, twenty in all. By the time the last arrow hit the tree he was already posing on the spot.
Seven clapped at the display.
“Very impressive.” Third gave a single clap.
Archy gave a small bow, “Unless the leaves outnumber the number of arrows I can shoot before they hit the ground, I can get them one hundred percent of the time.”
“So then tell me, how did you lose to that warrior over there? If your shots are so amazing you shouldn’t have lost against a close combat warrior so quickly.” The wizard pointed to TidalWave.
“Ah.. that is.” Archy hesitated and fiddled with his bowstring.
“His shots were too predictable.” TidalWave calmly explained and analysed, “At first he got a good shot in and then continued to fire at me but after a while he couldn’t keep up with my dodging. He shot straight at me but he couldn’t adjust to my speed and missed his shots the moment I started dodging at different timings.”
“Hmm.” The wizard sat down and thought deeply.
“So your shots have no variation? I can help with that.”
Archy raised his eyebrows at the wizard. “That fast?” He pointed at Third, “Prove it.”
“Hit the tree again.”
*BANG*
Archy didn’t hesitate to bring out his bow and bring leaves down to fall around him.
Seven watched the show again. One, two, three and four. Archy hit all the leaves until the fifth perfectly.
Then Third shifted his staff and a rift formed around the fifth one. The moment the arrow drew near enough to the leaf, the rift caused it to flutter in a different direction.
‘No problem, he’ll hit it with the next arrow.’
The arrow shot out faster than rifts could form, so the moment the fifth leaf fell back towards the ground Archy shot an arrow...
And missed again. And then again.
“What’s happening here?” She asked TidalWave as she saw Archy miss three arrows in a row.
“He’s missing.” TidalWave said with a smile, “I’m sure that wizard is waiting with anticipation to tell us all about why soon, so let’s wait for him.”
The last leaf fell to the ground, three rifts had formed around three leaves and Archy had missed every single one of them despite shooting multiple arrows.
“Again.”
This time he missed five leaves.
“Again!”
“AGAIN!”
“I think.” Third intoned as Archy again missed the final leaf that had been, “That I have shown you enough of your weakness. Do you want to know why you’re missing?”
“Again!”
“No.”
“Fine,” Archy said in defeat. “What happened there? Why am I missing?”
“It’s your timing.” Third stated simply, “The leaves are good practice alone, however, they fall at equal speed and straight to the ground with little variation. They can only provide so much practice before you get too used to their pattern. But if I add,” he idly summoned a rift near a leaf, causing it to change direction and slow down “a small change, then I will give you a lot more variations.”
“You see, you have become so used to the timing of the leaves falling that if there is even a slight change in the fall's speed, you completely miss.”
TidalWave nodded and Seven marvelled at the wizard’s deduction.
“Alright, I’ll accept that. And how about when the rifts change direction? How can I possibly hit the leaves if I don’t know what direction they’re supposed to go!”
“You can definitely hit those leaves. Unfortunately, you have grown used to not delaying a single shot when attacking so you shot towards them immediately instead of waiting for a moment and hitting the arrows in their path.”
“That is most likely why the warrior defeated you so easily.” he continued, “If you shot at him without even a single delay in your shooting then he would simply dodge. If you mixed your shots with some delayed by a bit then he might try and dodge only to find himself mistiming and getting hit by an arrow to the chest.”
“It’s true.” TidalWave added, “You’re scary as hell until the first couple of shots go through.”
“Yes, and not to mention if he dodged and ran towards you at different speeds then he would immediately throw you off your game because you are focusing on the very first speed at which he moved towards you.”
“And how do I get used to different speeds and start delaying?”
“Practice.” Third stated simply with a smile then pointed his staff at Seven, “You should give this training a try.”
“Me?” Seven jumped up and brought out her wand. “Let’s try it.”
*BANG*
Archy hit the tree and the leaves began to fall.
Seven waited for a second to get the timing of the leaves as they fell. And then fired at them time after time.
“Ah.”
Seven stared at the small specks of magic floating into the sky after her blasts hit the tree, she had hit a single leaf mostly by accident as she shot blast after blast into the air. She had actually been aiming for the leaf next to it.
She hadn’t had this much trouble with hitting the wolves.
“Looks like something as small as a leaf is still a bit of a challenge.” Third and TidalWave chuckled.
‘I definitely have a lot of practice to do.’
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8 181Dip$h!+s in Space
An eccentric comedy novel (that thinks it's a TV show) about space, and the Dipsh!+s that end up stranded in it. This hyper-self-aware comedy of stupid proportions, centers around Captain William T Lawg (no relation) and his adventures as a guy who managed to afford a refitted soft-top ice-cream truck, in space. Explore the universe with his trusty crew of valiant randos. Marley, the tech-bro, stoner spacebunny, who just wants to get away from his home world and the bullies it harbors. Duffy, the plump and sassy female mechanic, who has had every job in existence totaling far more years than possible. Roy, the frigging fabulous, flamboyant android, and former spy…or possibly current spy. (dun dun, daaaa!) And lastly, but certainly leastly, that other chick the captain keeps trying to bang. Ride with the crew of the notorious Tast-E-Chill, to a world of wonder that a lot of other space travelers have already been before, but probably not Lawg, so it's still exciting. This satirical joke on itself and every sci-fi trope ever to exist, will be sure to either thrill you or disappoint you, because COMEDY…IS…SUBJECTIVE! With a crew of 3-10 and an IQ of also probably 3-10, The captain putters along to uncharted lands, where history, loot, drama, innuendos of the sexual verity, and various Technicolor hoes shall surely be waiting, usually with some form of trap. Each season brings new and interesting crewmen, like: Menace: the adorable genderless frog-child-thing with the heart of gold and the dialogue vocabulary of a slightly trained parrot. Greg: the 8 foot tall, ancient, thermonuclear, semi-retired alien overlord who just wants to prove he still has a purpose…and also to rule the galaxy. Izzy: a 3rd generation, age-reversed reboot, accidental clone of her own mother/sister/older self, who happens to be Greg's daughter-in-law…and much, much more. Prepare yourself for shallow adventure, moderately-to high offensive dialogue, and overwhelmingly childish scenarios. Tag along as the crew battles, fierce enemies, lack of food and survival tape, and occasionally their own incompetence. Teen Romance, current politics, subtlety, dignity, this sucker has none of those, and it darn well knows it. Raise the sails and grab the rails as a bunch of dipsh!+s find themselves...IN SPACE. (Roll dramatic tapering credits, to royalty free trumpet music)
8 126The MMRPG Apocalypse
A gas station clerk at twenty-seven with no future prospects on the horizon—Mike Reynolds is a drop-out with an addiction to video games and a less-than-ideal living situation. Life definitely isn't great, but could it really get much worse? When monsters appear on Earth and begin destroying the fabric holding together humanity, that thought is thrown out the window—things are getting worse, and fast. 'Is my world becoming an MMRPG Apocalypse?' Can Mike make good on his prior experience and carve a foothold for himself in this RPG world?
8 255camilo madrigal imagines
| I DO NOT OWN ENCANTO OR ANY CHARACTERS FROM THE MOVIE ITSELF, ONLY Y/N OR ANY OF HER FAMILY MEMBERS |pronouns for reader will be at the top of the imagine so you can see it before you start reading, enjoy guys
8 73first love ─ sabrina quesada
| 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐒𝐓 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄. ❪🧸🌻🪐❫ ❝ 𝙞𝙣 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙘𝙝 lily and sab dated for a while when lily lived in florida then broke up. lily got famous and got invited to move into 'just a house la' -𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘁𝘂𝘀.. ongoing-𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗲𝗱.. 04.12.21-𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗱.. 00.00.00
8 138Akatsuki (Magi Ja'far X Fem Reader)
The dark waves lapped gently against the sides of the ships bobbing gently in the waters of the Sindria harbor. The lights of the lively parties that the kingdom so often held had finally died. The peaceful darkness of the night had finally settled over the island. Finally, for just a few hours before sunrise, Sindria was asleep. The perfect time for an assassination.If you're reading this fanfiction just for romance, you're probably going to be disappointed. It's going to follow a storyline and the romance is rather subtle. But if you like those kinds of relationships (like me), then feel free to read my fanfiction. DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN MAGI OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS EXCEPT FOR (Y/N)-CHAN! NONE OF THE PICTURES/FANART I USE ARE MINE, INCLUDING THE COVER
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