I'm now officially 4 Springs old and standing at a crossroad.

For today I'll still be going to the tailor shop with mom but this can't keep going on. I'm still more than welcomed of course but I believe this is not the best use of my abilities and knowledge.

Now that the workshop had resumed with it's usual work pace, Ms Tarina had some time to spare for us. After congratulating us once more, emphasizing how much we should be grateful to Dard and Husnd for making it up till now and getting a round of hugging and smooching for herself which i believe was her true endgame; she took a look at our names and asked us to draw them for her.

The four of us were now familiar enough with writing to do so: 2 ideograms weren't that much to remember after all. It was also the occasion for me to discover the name of the others.

When we were left without supervision, I taught each of them how to write their name with my alphabet. They grasped how it works and except for a “Jelkaria” and a “Baloot”, I hadn't much to correct. Although the spelling of their names are mostly my whim. I can't really say their written forms were right or wrong: I'm the one fixing arbitrarily the rules here. The four of us were finally all able to write our names with modern alphabet, it wasn't much but it still felt like a significant step stone.

I believe my time with them is running short, I know that the path ahead of me will drift me apart from them. This might very well be my last lesson for them.

I've thought a lot during winter about what to do next and there are four roads that I can see ahead of me.

The first one is staying here at the tailor shop. Worst case scenario I would end up as a tailor. Best case I can maybe become some kind of accountant for Ms Tarina and then other businesses around and through my mastery of maths raise my condition. I believe it to be the safest road but also the less rewarding. It will be a while before anyone trust me with a job that matters and I don't really dig the idea of becoming an accountant. The probability of becoming a free citizen through this path is small...

The second path is a risky one: going back to Typhoon Taonga to get hired by him. I'm sure my capacities will be exploited at their fullest and that I will have access to as many tutors and books I could wish for. The downside being that there is a non negligible chance that I might end up a slave... which doesn't sit well with me.

Third road is to go public: go knock at the door of whatever science group there is around here. I'm sure there is an alchemist guild and there must be an astronomers society or an academy of sort, the children of blades must go to school somewhere? If I can make a show of my knowledges I could have them take care of me, get a scholarship or something and become a teacher, biologist or whatever better position than basic commoner.

This is high risk high reward: I don't know how they can react. If they see me as an heretic thing breaking the teachings of the gods, things can get ugly fast. There is also the possibility of being ignored, labelled as crazy or simply exploited and then discarded.

As eager as I am to be able to study the physiology of all the strange animals around, to advance their knowledge in chemistry or their understanding of physics and study how magic interferes with the laws around here, I also value my life: I don't want to end burned at a stake and nothing tells me that I'll get another reincarnation.

Lastly there is the temple road. Especially Shinpilo's one. He is the god of knowledge so I'm sure we can both find interest in one another. Being employed by the temple will ensure me that I won't be branded a heretic or an abnormality when I'll reveal my knowledges. Honestly it is my favourite option right now, except I don't know how to enlist in the Temple or get in touch with Shinpilo's priests.

I grab the opportunity during break time to ask Ms Tarina about it.

“How does one join the Temple ?” I simply ask when there is a gap in the conversation.

She considers me with an inquisitive look : “Did one of the gods catch your attention during naming day ?” She raise an eyebrow and gives a quick glance at Gelcaria, misinterpreting my query.

I try to brush her suspicions away by sounding nonchalant:

“Maybe. But I mean: our attending priest was quite young, I was wondering how one joins the Temple to work for them.”

“hmmm” she hums as she collects her thoughts “They mostly take acolytes starting 8 Springs old. Mostly children stemming from the free citizens and a few blades for the higher ranks. Priesthood is a valued position.”

Giant pile of Jota's guano! That's what I feared. Is there really anything that a poor man can do?

She keeps going:

“To join the temple usually requires for the family of the candidate to make enough donations to be granted the honour of integrating the ranks of the Temple.” She douses the last sparks of hope I could have left.

“There are still some exceptions.” she teasingly add, having read the desperation on my face.

“Those with a god's mark our a god's favour are obviously more easily welcomed...”She pats Gel's head affectionately.

So Gel can join but I cant ? Great.

I can still think of one way: if I were to catch Shinpilo's attention there might be a path forward for me too.

“How does one gets the attention of the gods ?” I bluntly ask.

She laugh at my naïve question her jowls trembling in amusement:

“If I knew I would be drowned in Tamayoku's riches Tel.” Yet seeing my seriousness she answers more thoroughly:

“You don't want the gods attention, believe me. It mostly comes in a bad fashion: when one commits crimes, attracting the ire of the pantheon. And it doesn't end well.”

“I do not intend to look for that kind of attention” I retort. I'm not dumb.

She smiles and pats my head with satisfaction:

“I know you don't, Tel. To gain their attention in a positive fashion there isn't many way: just perform well in their respective fields. This may entice them to make you their champion and get a blessing. Otherwise you can just make prayers and gift offerings, the priest will tell you that the gods are always listening to the ones that bares their sincerity forth. Even more when it comes with enough coins.” She ends with a hint of distrust. She might be a believer but not a gullible one.

I pause to gather my thoughts. So if I want to thread on the temple's path, I'll have to gain Shinpilo's attention. That's something I should be able to do with my knowledge. The only problem being to get him to look at it.

Guess I might have to think this through a little more.

“Do you intend to become a priest ?” Melodi probes at me, her whiskers quivering with curiosity. I can see my plump teacher and Gel eagerly awaiting my answer too.

“Maybe.” I evasively say “I don't think I would make a good blacksmith like dad.” This gets greeted with a round of laughs.

“Yeah, you are far too weak for that.” Dejectedly says Melodi, making fun of me. Even if she meant no harm, that still wounds my pride a bit. I'm training the most I can, excuse me for not having the cheat body strenght of a beastkin.

* * * * * * *

Later that day as I'm milking Godzilla, I ponder on how to catch the attention of the gods. My best bet would be to write down some of my knowledge and present it as an offering. I “just” have to get my hand on some paper and think of something both useful, unknown in this world, yet universally understandable by a supra-human level of consciousness.

Easy peasy...

Maybe I should dissect Godzilla and write an extended essay on lactation physiology applied to the optimization of production in farming use?

I gently stroke the warm brass scales of the lizard. I could swear she read my mind as I can catch a glimpse of wariness in her reptilian gaze. I carefully take my fingers away from her beak while she calms down in the setting sunligh.

No, that would be dumb.

First I don't want to hurt my pet, second I doubt this world hasn't already done this much. There are some scholars, there must be some herders who raised and sampled koatis to enhance the process. I doubt I could bring anything groundbreaking on this matter. At best I would teach them a bit about cells and hormones but can't see how I could find some practical application without an pharmacological industry to support me.

I join back for diner and add the milk to the soup. My grandparents are also there this evening, which pleases me because it means grandpa also brought some dried meat. And I also like my grand parents and enjoy their company, I'm not only thinking with my stomach here.

The evening is bringing me another quandary as mom drops an unexpected bomb on us: She is pregnant. Again.

She proudly stands in front of all of us, her left hand on dad's shoulder while her right one caresses her belly. We all cheer her. My grand parents warmly congratulating the both of them.

As happy as I am there are also two worries growing on me. The first one is the question of food (ok, maybe I am thinking with my stomach too much). Adding another kid to the table will make our supplies even more precarious. That might be something I have to work on instead of wondering how to catch a god's attention.

The second is regrets for not knowing since when mom is pregnant. It would be a perfect occasion to figure out the flow of time vs physiology.

Does a pregnancy last 9 months? Like 9 months here or the shorter Earth months? Will it be proportional, becoming a 12 months gestation? Etc...

But I can't casually ask my mother about her last menses... Sometime, science has to come after basic decency.

As we are all celebrating Akolaï's gift his presence is made more real as Gelcaria knocks at our door, escaping the turmoil in her household. This brings down the mood a bit and my father has to make sure Danik isn't getting too far out of control. I wish he would just kick his ass once and for all one day. I know violence is rarely the answer but sometimes a good kick in the butt is still welcomed.

As mom tries to divert Gel from her worries and announces her that she's bearing child, I can almost see a flash of purple light in Gel's eye. Like something inside her reacted and reached out, either a girl's natural instinct or something else?

At night she silently joins me again. Exceptionally she is the one that breaks the silence with her whisper (“silence” is a bit of an overstatement when the room is filled with my brother's snoring).

“Why do you want to join the temple ?” she asks warily. In the darkness of our room, her eyes are more ostentatious then ever, shining with their own inner light.

“Where do you imagine me to be in 10 years? “ I counter with a question of my own. “Smelting iron on east hill ? Threading dresses at Ms Tarina's workshop ? Or enslaved by Taonga?” My last option sends shivers down both our spines, I bet she also shared the same fear for her fate at least once.

Before she can answer me I go on : “I am not a warrior to be; nor will I make a good worker. I though the Temple would be a good way out of...” failing to find a suitable expression, I just wave my hand in the dark, unsure if she can see the motion “this...” I wave at our room.

After pondering for a while she asks me back:

“Do you think I could join too ?”

I snigger at her doubt: “I believe you have even more chances than I do.” I can see her eyes in the night focusing on mine. I clarify “You already have a god's attention, something close to a blessing almost. Do you believe my mom got pregnant again without some intervention of Akolaï ?”

She isnt surprised by my statement, she had her own suspicions on the subject. And we both remember the Typhoon's renewed “vigour”.

“I bet that if you went to see the Akolaï's cardinal she would welcome you with open arms.” Despite the distance I can feel the heat crawling up her cheeks as she blushes, remembering the lasciviously dancing cardinal.

“No, I don't want that.” she pouts and I get her. She didn't talked about her mother and what happened during naming day, but I can tell it weights on her.

“I know. It was just a tease.” I pat her head lightly. “But I'm still figuring out how to join the Temple. I think that's the best thing to do for me. But you should find your own goal. Maybe stick to Ms Tarina, she has a soft spot for you and will make sure to find you a decent occupation.” I try to both comfort her, reassure her and point her at her own future instead of worrying about mine.

She remains silent, eyes closed. I can't see her face so I cant tell if she is pondering on the idea or flat out rejecting it.

Just when I thought she fell asleep as her breathing got steadier, she finally mutters “Fine, I'll let you join the temple.”

I don't remember asking for your permission, but okay.