Yolanda swept her eyes over the gathered whisper women before settling her gaze back on me. “We will address each issue separately. The first to be acknowledged is your attacks on two superiors. While your imbalanced punishment was not decided in the presence of a Scale, I will still uphold the decision as its parameters were given and met.” Annoyance touched Yolanda’s face as she looked back at Yule.

A thread of satisfaction wound through my stomach at Yule’s cowed expression. I didn’t doubt that the Scale sect leader must have deliberately shown the emotion, because she didn’t seem like the type to let her neutral mask slip. The Scales sect head wanted everyone to know that the whisper woman had earned her ire and I was glad to see it.

The commander picked up where Yolanda left off. “For two unprovoked attacks on two whisper women and insubordination, this seedling was judged and punished to survive a month on the southwest front. If the fighting ended by the end of the month and she could still perform a seedling’s duties, she would be allowed to return to the Palace and continue to learn our ways without a mentor.” She paused to smile dryly. “The battle is over and Gimley stands before us, even if she stayed in camp a bit longer than the rest of us.”

I firmly kept my mind from drifting back to the sensation of being frozen. That horror would not help me here in the slightest. It helped that I could take issue with my attacks being unprovoked. Between Jin’s treatment, my emotions at the time, the fall, and how quickly that first whisper woman had jumped to using her painful blessing…it would have been a miracle for me to remain collected and rational.

Of course, mentioning that now would do little but prove Jin and Yule’s case that I was insubordinate and not controlled enough to keep around.

Yolanda nodded once, shallow and sharp. “Indeed. Going forward, seedling, you will not have the privilege of mentorship unless you prove yourself worthy of it. However, only one my ilk can judge if you have rebalanced the scales.”

I inclined my head. “Yes, mistress.”

“The first matter is settled.” Yolanda’s tone brooked no room for argument. “Anyone who takes further action against the seedling because of this issue will be held accountable for violating judgment.”

Jin sat stiff and still on her cushion, more rigid than I had ever seen her. She didn’t like that I hadn’t been punished further for my idiotic actions.

I was glad for the restriction on her ability to punish me on her own terms, though it wouldn’t protect me from all retribution. I had enough experience in petty revenge and baiting to know she could still make my life difficult as long as she covered her actions with a viable excuse. The true question was how willing she was to spend that kind of time on a seedling.

A glance at Yule showed that she wasn’t willing to let go of her grudge just because Yolanda deemed the matter done. Acting on her grudge would be more dangerous for her but, given our different statuses and abilities, I doubted it was impossible or unlikely. She was the type who couldn’t handle personal slights and I had forced her to call for help because she was losing a fight to a new recruit.

“However,” Yolanda’s voice cracked out like a whip as her attention focused back on me, “attack one of your senior sisters again and you will look back on this poorly judged punishment with wistful longing.”

I wondered at what horrific punishment the sect head could devise but her implacable features didn’t give any hints. Like as not, it would be as simple and straightforward as removing me from the ranks of whisper women, never to become what I needed to be.

I resolved then and there to be on my best behavior, so that my theory wouldn’t be put to the test. Failing to become a whisper women, much less one of the Chosen, was untenable. I didn’t have anything else.

Rivon spoke, amused, “How dire.”

Yolanda ignored her. “Next is the matter of your time on the battle front. Squad leader Mishtaw, do you have any grievances you wish to bring to our attention?”

Mishtaw rose from her spot and moved close to the center of circle so that she could be easily seen. She still moved with the stiff cadence of a patient recovering from injury but trying not to show it. As she walked, flashes of memory detailing less than completely respectful behavior and obedience filled my mind.

Mishtaw inclined her head before standing tall and proud. “None. Any small matter that can be expected from a seedling still in training has already been dealt with within my purview as squad leader.”

I wanted to breathe out a sigh of relief at her words but, rather than draw attention, I kept my reaction as neutral as possible, as if that’s what I expected her to say rather than a litany of difficult, if minor, behavior.

Yolanda accepted her answer and shifted her attention to her right. “Commander?”

The commander’s smile wasn’t kind. “She knew better than to act insubordinate with me.”

Yolanda gestured to the others that were gathered. “If any of you have a grievance you would like to state from that time step forward now and state your case.”

My gaze flicked between Tasha, Melka, and the witness to my first aid as a sour taste gathered in the back of my throat. I hadn’t exactly been completely respectful to Tasha after she helped me and while I didn’t think that Melka would bring up what I had done to save her, the same couldn’t be said for the remaining whisper woman. Somehow I didn’t think she would frame my actions in the same light I had. Yule and Jin, at least, had very little they could pin on me from that time since they hadn’t been present for most of it, if at all.

Mishtaw left the center of the open space we all encircled as Tasha denied having any grievances and Melka echoed her. The nameless whisper woman marched up to fill Mishtaw’s vacated spot, however, and pointed an accusing finger at me.

“She healed Melka without any healer’s beads. Breathed life back into her when Melka didn’t draw breath.”

Apparently, now that the storming woman had some time to think she had no inclination to quietly go with my explanation and let us all move on in peace. Unsurprising, if frustrating.

The Gathering Spot got very, very quiet and still at her accusation. They might have already heard my brief overview of what happened with Melka, but it was one thing to hear that and quite another to be presented with a direct act of dangerous heresy; especially when it concerned a particular seedling already on thin ice for previous actions that went against the order of things.

“Explain further,” Yolanda demanded.

The whisper woman did. “We were at the cliff, rescuing those who fought the snake. Melka was found, but it was thought she had taken on water and wasn’t breathing. We were taking her back to the camp, to the healers, when this girl told us that we needed to put her down, that she wouldn’t make it. She even held out a piece of cut off hair to prove she knew what she was talking about. She must have been a healer.”

“And you complied with her demand?”

The whisper woman swallowed, suddenly realizing that pointing out my actions might also implicate hers. “She likely would have injured Melka further, trying to do whatever she wanted, if we hadn’t set her down.”

“What happened after you laid Melka down?”

“She…she said it wasn’t healing, that there weren’t any herbs, but we all saw her breathe into Melka’s mouth and press on her chest until Melka drew in breath.” The whisper woman’s shoulders set. “That’s healer’s tricks.”

I had to clench my jaw to keep back a retort of would you prefer Melka dead and burned in a pyre then?

Yolanda shifted her stern gaze to me. “You claim to have preformed first aid?”

I felt the pressure of everyone’s attention as they waited for my answer. I kept my tone unnaturally civil and subdued, so that no one could use anything but my own words against me. “Yes, mistress. I only helped Melka’s body do what it naturally would, like bandaging a wound to help it clot.”

The attention sharpened on me as I finished the second half of my statement. I cursed my idiotic tongue. Now was not the time to show off healing knowledge. Most tribe people probably would have said to help it “close” if they had any explanation at all for what a bandage was supposed to do.

The commander jumped in with her own question. “You have such knowledge from being trained as a healer?”

That felt like a trap I had to answer. “Yes, mistress. But anyone could have—”

A sly smile played across Rivon’s lips as she gestured to encompass the small group. “Does anyone else here have the knowledge to return breath to the breathless?”

No one spoke because no one wanted to lie before the leader of the Scales sect herself. I might be pushing my claim that what I had done was first aid, but while it might be a basic thing for a healer of a water hole tribe to know, it certainly wasn’t for the common person. Even those that didn’t want to take the risk of bandaging a wound knew the basic idea was wrap cloth around an injury, but those same people wouldn’t know to return breath you often had to breathe into the patient’s mouth and then press on their chest.

Agitated mutters and looks started to circulate around the group, but Yolanda held up a hand and regained control of the meeting. “You no longer have your healer’s beads?”

The lack could easily be seen. “No, mistress.”

“When were they cut off?”

“A little under a month before the cold season started.”

“How long did you train?”

The question felt like a slap. I wasn’t sure I could remember a time before I had started trying to learn about the craft, even before she started training me in earnest. Not that that particular truth would help me in this scenario, even if I knew better than to lie outright.

I swallowed to clear my dry throat. “As long as any other apprentice trains.”

True, even if it wasn’t the full length. The reduction still wasn’t enough to dispel the disquiet steadily filling the circular meeting place, however.

Jin hissed, “She has too much life.”

Esie rose with a rustle of cloth behind me and stepped up to place a hand on my shoulder. I did my best not to flinch.

When she spoke, her voice sounded calm, if slightly amused, “Does she?” Yolanda waved for Esie to continue and she did, “This seedling has already been judged. First aid or healing, it no longer matters. Or do you all think it was a coincidence that she was caught in the High Priestess’s ice? The goddess punished her then, kept her as close to death as any of us can get, and then freed her when Gimley had paid her due.”

Yule scoffed, “Why would the goddess pay any attention to her? She’s a seedling and a bad one at that.”

Esie smiled that smile of hers that did nothing to hide the venom of her words. “She already has.”

She gestured to the trial mark on my chin and I saw them all reflect on the rumors they heard of that trial. A pine tree unnaturally grown and a whisper woman personally sent to deliver the trial; a black handed healer sent from the Seedling Palace to treat two girls who hadn’t even reached their first blooding. Whisper women might not strive for the trial marks as others might, already having a special one of their own, but the significance of the mark on my chin couldn’t be denied, either.

“You believe this line of questioning is in breach of judgment?” asked Yolanda.

“I believe the goddess has already handed out a more fitting punishment than any of us can conceive. She took the breath from one who gave it, after all, even as She dealt with the fish and drew what excess life this girl might have had back into balance. Or what other effect could such an experience have?” Esie presented her argument in the same easy way she had given me advice a handful of days before. As if she was merely presenting a truth that everyone else should have already accepted.

I wasn’t sure if being frozen had been coincidence or the goddess’s work, though neither really settled well with me. The horror of that helpless state was more than enough without the addition of it happening by chance or the goddess’s attention. Still, perhaps chance was better than being subject to the goddess’s unpredictable, terrifyingly dangerous gaze.

Jin glared at me. “She should be dead. There is no order to her—”

The commander cut her off, “Do not question the goddess’s blessings, Jin. It is not your place.”

My lips pressed tighter together as Jin glowered at her. Of course, knowledge of my blessing had already spread.

Yolanda had closed her eyes as Esie spoke and ignored the exchange. I couldn’t tell if she was speaking on the wind or thinking or working to withhold her emotions. She stayed that way for several long minutes as no one else dared to speak after the commander’s reprimand.

I flinched when she snapped open her eyes and did something she hadn’t before. The Scale sect head drew out her prayer needle before pricking the pad of her thumb and smearing the blood over her lips.

“This matter is settled. I speak in blood for Her judgment borne and done. A debt of life was to be paid. It has been fulfilled.” Yolanda’s gaze scoured all of us in turn. “Any who violate this judgment will face the same.”

The blood on her mouth dried up and flaked away as if she had uttered a prayer.

A chill ran from the crown of my head all the way down to my toes. I was certain it was born more out of dread than elation.