The door attendant glanced inside the commander’s tent before making me stand awkwardly outside it for a long while. The crawler’s dead weight was heavy on my shoulder but I refused to put it down. There was little I could do about the lacerations from Ento’s special blades and the yellow blood oozing from them, but I could present the proof of our victory without mud and snow dirtying it further. The commander seemed to appreciate orderliness and I was already pushing that, bruised and my cloak covered in the creature’s blood.

I stared down the door attendant as we waited but he didn’t rise to the challenge. Instead, he kept to watching the camp activities around us and ignored me. I might be a seedling but he had control of the door and was secure in his duties. A sore ache radiated up my neck and down my shoulder blade by the time he announced me and waved me inside.

The commander was setting down a tablet at the head of the two rows of attendants. They were all still busy taking messages and sending out orders, but when the commander spoke it was not to me or them.

“Here she is. Earlier than expected.”

Unbidden, my gaze shifted to follow the direction of her voice and found a sight that made my body run cold and then hot. Stymied frustration and resentment and indignation roiled under my ribs, and I had to sink my nails into the crawler’s tail to stop the impulse to sling the corpse across the tent.

Yellow eyes. Leather and bone jewelry connecting nose to ear. Messy hair and clothing slipping out of place. The only change I could find was a pair of boots covering her feet.

Jin crouched on the far side of the map, studying it. She looked up when the commander spoke and, when she noticed me, her smile wasn’t kind.

“Our newest troublemaker.”

With an effort I dragged my gaze from my false mentor and focused on the commander, inclining my head. “I came to report our success, commander.”

She took in the corpse and the blood smeared over my clothes. “I see. Straight from the battle?”

I nodded.

The commander beckoned with two fingers as Jin rose and made her way across the tent.

“Report.”

I did, tripping over my words in the beginning as I tried to be both concise and thorough, which was irritating. Then I drew in a short breath and reminded myself that the commander had likely already had the report from one of her attendants. That made it easier to focus and I treated the remainder of the report like I was reviewing the list of symptoms of a patient for her, during one of the times we had multiple patients and she could not check all the injured herself.

The commander listened, surprisingly attentive as I outlined our plan, skimmed over the days of waiting, and then described the fight. It occurred to me then that she also could have mentioned the crawler’s tough hide when she first gave me information about the creature, but given that she had neglected to even mention what a crawler even was perhaps she had assumed I already knew.

When I finished, she gestured to her head fire starter. “Have the creature prepared for our young fighters. They can taste victory at our evening meal tonight.”

He took the crawler, distaste evident based on the set of his mouth. Relief washed through me as the extra weight was finally lifted off my shoulder. It didn’t take him long to return to the tent, no doubt passing on the messy task to another fire starter.

The commander focused back on me. “We don’t normally bring the fight to the water, but your plan was sound. You are leaving some of those nets and traps in place?”

“Yes, commander.”

“Good.” She didn’t elaborate further on her thoughts. “I have another task for you.”

“Nadia.” Jin broke into the conversation, a note of warning in her voice.

I stiffened. A little shocked that she dared to speak in a such a tone to the commander, a little…wary at the familiarity using the commander’s name in this setting implied. Then memory stirred and I recalled that in the scroll I read about Jin it had said she was the second ranked Peacekeeper.

If I wasn’t mistaken, the commander was the leader of the Peacekeepers.

Perhaps the familiarity wasn’t unjustified.

The commander leveled a cool, unrelenting look on Jin. “Yes?”

Her tone clearly implied that she didn’t appreciate the interruption.

Jin’s easy smile had an underlying level of strain even I could pick out. “You can’t mean to make use of this girl. Reward her.”

A dangerous glint entered the commander’s imperious gaze. “Can’t I?”

I watched, wide eyed, as the commander ground Jin under her heel with an innocent sounding question and a look. I was used to our terrible mentor’s easy authority.

Apparently, Jin was used to it as well and I could tell that it grated on her to force a sliver of subservience to her leader. “Commander, I am only looking out for your interests. This girl has no respect for authority. She has already attacked two superiors.”

“How odd. She has respectfully carried out every order I have given her. Even fell off the wall to save me.” The commander leveled that cool look back on Jin. “Perhaps a change of leadership accounts for the improved behavior.”

Jin had enough command over herself not to snap over the veiled insult, but I had observed people long enough to tell that it hit deeper than she liked. “Perhaps.”

The commander turned away from her and dismissed her with the gesture. “You have your orders. I’d recommend you go carry them out.”

“My request…”

“Has been denied. Your presence among the tribes will do more to dissuade trouble than having another body here.” She gestured to the tent’s flap. “I have more business to attend to.”

Summarily dismissed, Jin couldn’t do anything more without being accused of the same disrespect for authority she had brought against me. She shot me a dark look, barely overlaid by a humorless smile, before Jin swept passed me and out the tent.

The attendants kept working as if I hadn’t just seen Jin dressed down in front of me, as if a schism in one of the largest sects hadn’t just been displayed for everyone in the tent to witness. Abruptly, I was keenly aware that, like any tribe, the whisper women had power dynamics and struggles, but, unlike what I was used to, alliances weren’t so streamlined here. The sects were big and numerous enough that even though a whisper woman might belong to one group it didn’t mean that group was unified or that the whisper woman had to completely throw her lot in with the group she belonged to. More options and the closeness of the goddess’s favor or disapproval to muddy things further.

The commander acknowledged what happened with a tilt of her head. “A bit of unpleasant business. No need to mention it further.” She bought my silence with the warning in her eyes, the set of her jaw. “As I said, I have another task for you.”

I inclined my head and waited.

“There are caves being infested by the Lady Blue’s creatures. I believe your squad leader has investigated them before. Another team watches them now.” I felt her considering gaze sweep over me. “Stop the creatures’ activities in a week. I don’t care if you drive them out or block the caves or develop some other solution.”

“Why?” I couldn’t stop the question before it slipped out as I lifted my head.

She smiled, mirthless. “Why you or why assign this task?”

I sucked on my teeth for a moment, drawing reckless bravery, before asserting, “Both.”

A bit of real pleasure warmed her smile. She didn’t pull her words. “Your failure causes no lasting harm and your success only adds to my own.”

Something in her tone tipped me off. “You don’t think I can do it.”

“Perhaps, but perhaps that is also not the point. Don’t forget why you’re here.”

Another test to prove myself. To see how I responded to something difficult. Impossible. Seedling stopping the Lady Blue’s secret operation certainly had a ring to it.

I set my shoulders. “I killed the crawler and completed the challenge. Do you…will I still return to the Seedling Palace at the end of the month despite how this new mission goes?”

It was impossible to avoid the commander’s cool judgment. “So little faith. I’ll keep my word.”

I wanted to press her further, but I knew that wouldn’t get me anywhere helpful. So, instead, I nodded and asked if there was anything else she needed from me. There wasn’t and I was dismissed.

- -

I relayed my new mission over a meal of flaky but dense crawler meat and steamed vegetables that evening. The squad had a small cooking fire all to ourselves. Mishtaw didn’t seem pleased, but she knew better than to try to gainsay the commander. I don’t think she liked being moved around because of the commander’s whim involving a seedling under her command. Apparently, the outpost the squad was assigned to had been changed to one that butted up against the caves. They would be more available to help this time, but some focus still had to be put towards patrolling the area. Particularly because the proximity to the caves made it a more dangerous area to scout.

She also wanted to know who the other squad who was already watching over the caves was, but I couldn’t tell her something I didn’t know.

Breck and Ento were well enough to join us at the fire, but Ento would need at least a couple more days to recover from the worst of the crawler’s sting and Breck needed more for her impaled side. Petra would also still be staying in camp. Her shoulder was healing, but it wasn’t to the point that she could use her arm freely without ruining the progress. Creed ate with one arm slung around her and Petra relaxed into his hold while chatting with Eliss and Mishtaw. Seeing such blatant public affection was odd, if not uncomfortable, but given how the pair acted together I don’t think they cared much for politely waiting until they were inside a tent to show their affection.

Throughout the meal Idra cast glares my way, like it was my fault she would be separated from Ento for the next few days, except for when we returned in the evening to sleep protected in camp. Juniper kept silent though I didn’t like the way her gaze felt quietly assessing. Her odd, evasive comments at the end of the fight still bothered me, but I doubted I would get any more out of her by pressing her so soon after the fact.

I wanted to lean over and tell Prevna about seeing Jin at the commander’s tent but the impulse bothered me and the memory of the look in the commander’s eyes kept me silent. Besides, the encounter didn’t change much. I still needed to make sure I stayed in the commander’s good graces so that I returned to Seedling Palace while hoping that she ended the fighting in time. I might hate how little control I had over the situation, and seeing Jin put in her place only clarified how little influence I had. Part of me did wonder what she had to see the commander to personally request, but that was just another thing I was unlikely to learn any time soon.

The rest of evening passed quietly with only one unexpected instance as we got up to return to the squad’s tent. Eliss stopped me from following the others by gripping one shoulder as I turned to go. I flinched at the unexpected close contact and her lips pinched into a frown, though she pushed past it to say what she had come to say.

“You did good today. In the future, I’d recommend not dropping your spear in a fight, but you didn’t hesitate to protect your comrades.”

I blinked, taken aback by the unexpected praise. “Oh, am I trustworthy now?”

I didn’t mean to make the defensive, needling remark, but caught off guard my tongue loosened with its habitual response.

Eliss’s face shuttered and she released me. “I’m not sure you know how.”

She left me at the fire. I stared at the low burning flames for a while longer.

The crawler dead, a new mission, and a puzzle when I returned to the Seedling Palace. I got things done even if no one liked me. Fellen crying in the snow. The twins sneering at me. Andhi’s look of horror when I told her to get touched by a shamble man. I didn’t need to be trustworthy to protect what needed protecting. To do what needed to be done.

I turned away from the fire and brushed my hand over my bless mark. I would succeed in taking care of the sea creatures infesting the caves. I would prove myself again and again and again until the whisper women had no choice but to accept me as one of the best.

That’s all I needed.

I didn’t let my hand stray to the stolen and hidden healer’s herbs, the gifted poisoner’s pouch holding Fellen’s felted leaf.

I would surpass Eliss and Jin and the commander until I reached the point that they had no right to judge me. Until I was the one who gave the orders.

That’s all I needed. And I would be disciplined enough to reach it.