Chapter 23: Chaos

I follow the scent of Joan reaching the same music room I lept from. As I reach the entrance, I notice the broken glass along with a set of craters with multiple slabs rising towards the sky like white canines.

I ignore the problem as I walk by several students noticing stares as I pace. The nullness permeating from me holds my attention as I close upon her. My body flares with heat as urges to run away assail me, but memories of my past remind me of my own power.

Facing my own feelings quakes before the horror of finding my father’s blasted corpse, so I will myself forward reaching Joan who talks with several of her friends. I reach her then ask imposing stiff words, “Hello Joan. Can we talk for a minute?”

She gasps with surprise. Her posture straightens as she says, “Uh, alright. Sure thing.”

Her friends giggle uncontrollably in their uniforms at my appearance. The oppression of their silliness falls upon my shoulders, but I persevere. When Joan steps forward, she stumbles slightly.

I catch her as a hard object pushes against my side from underneath her robe. Her friends begin giggling louder. I look towards them with eyes of fire and a voice dark as obsidian, “What is so amusing?”

Their giggling dies down, but they stare with near repulsive compulsion as though studying my body underneath my clothes. I shiver.

While they lock their eyes on my frame, I peer closer at girls. They seem familiar. Realization bludgeons me across my skull with ruthless abandon. These girls are the females who saw me bathe naked behind The Choice Brew.

I shake my head stumbling back into Joan who avoids me. I push my hands against the sides of my head as though containing an explosion in a jar since my heart pumps excessive amounts of blood into my skull pressuring face.

When my eyes lock with Joan’s twitching face, she reddens in shame then says evasively, “I just want you to tell you something. I can’t wait any longer.”

She takes out the broken remains of my mother’s harp saying, “After you left I slammed the piano shut. I forgot the harp was there. I am so sorry Jack. I was just angry. I didn’t-”

FFF-POCK. My fist launches into the side of the wall crushing stone. The girls immediately cease their laughter as my darkness saturates the atmosphere. I grab the chips of crag in my hand then smash the pieces generating sharp, piercing sounds.

I drill holes through Joan’s eyes. Under the pressure of my stare, she wobbles slightly then I grind my teeth until they chip grating loudly. My veins bulge as I struggle to contain my evolving wrath. One of the girls says in ignorance, “Calm down. It’s just a harp.”

I snap with rasping tones blistering the air as I shout, “My mother played her last song with that in her hands! I watched her life fade as she sang to me one last time. That was the last memento I had of her.”

The girl squirms at each word until tears form in her eyes. Joan’s cries rack the air while I slowly clutch the smashed harp with precise, tender movements. I grab the side of my hair falling to my knees.

Joan’s sobbing extinguishes my anger. Overwhelming grief supplants fury as I deflate. My hatred oozes until I can only feebly remember my original mission. I lower my gaze until I look towards my thighs as my vision blurs from pools forming in my eyes, yet I persist.

I have locked myself in mental shackles leaving my psyche protected as I face the world through a ball of cotton.This changes today. I will risk pain for passion. I will test fear for fervor.

While bracing myself, I peer toward Joan who covers her face with her hands while tears stream from her eyes. I say with delicate, supple tones, “I wanted to say I love you Joan, and I want to be with you. That’s all.”

Her face contorts like a dried fruit while her skin reddens as she moves her hands across her cheeks. I stand up noticing the girls behind her blushing brightly while tearing up. The will to raise my gaze from my feet evades me, so I gait away with wide steps.

I wander through the hallway in a daze as my fellow students stand in silence. I pace down the stairs reaching the bottom floor where I enter a bathroom. I tap my head against the porcelain wall several times clearing my mind until I void my thoughts. I reach oblivion.

From the null I created, I concentrate thoughts. I accomplished my goal despite the complications, and I should be proud of that. The prospect of rumors spreading about my melodramatic display worries me though as my expulsion will ruin any opportunities I have here.

However, as events unfold, I find myself just wanting peace. Each event takes away my dwindling sense of normality. The chaos omnipresent in my life produces an increasing amount of discord and strife while simplicity evades my grasp as I lose control of the events in my life due to my emotions.

I came to this university so I may live a blessed life as my mother and father wished. Since arriving, I have torn each and every opportunity down with implacable neglect. I need to control myself further. I will just need to find some way to do so.

After leaning my head on the cold brick, I lightly slap the sides before pacing outside of the building towards my next class.

I reach the same astronomy building. Deluge chides, “Give me control. Your reputation cannot afford further staining.”

I reply dryly, “You are correct about that. My stay here at Mareovosa becomes more eventful each moment.”

“Your principles cause your discomfort. With each event you aim to prove yourself.”

“I just wanted to live justly, but with each action I push myself farther from others.”

“Few humans live through their thoughts and beliefs. Even I struggle.”

I laugh slightly at being comforted by a murderous alien. I then ask wearily, “So how have you struggled?”

“I wish to consolidate this world, yet you stand between me and my goal. I try to understand you, but your actions seem so strange. You find bizarre reason in your actions that I cannot comprehend.”

He finishes reproaching himself almost glumly, “I want to give equality and fairness to all, yet I also want this despite other being’s wishes. My very existence is a contradiction.”

“I don’t know if what you want is right or wrong Deluge. I don’t really understand you either as your actions seem so ruthlessly logical yet unrestrained, but you follow your own coherence. You heed your own rational. I just scramble around.”

Deluge snickers slightly replying, “Yet you scramble onward. I haven’t even paced one step.”

His statement shocks me. I tumble his thoughts in my head for a minute before I reply, “I guess progress is subjective. Let us lighten our own self inflicted loads aye?”

Deluge replies with receding gloom, “Perhaps our standards are unreasonable. Well, at least for one of us.”

I smile at his light hearted jab as I enter the astronomy building. Deluge nudges me from conscious while I ponder about Deluge’s goal. He seems to always remain silent thinking alone. He has pooled many souls already, yet he believes himself listless.

We pace through several rooms entering the same stunning room of stars. Deluge steps up to the professor and I prepare myself for the show. I no longer care of what others think as my reputation is certainly butchered.

---------------------------------------------------

I approach the old man pacing quickly toward him. He grimaces. I understand the expression.

I reach him saying with a relatively peaceful voice, “I am sorry for earlier.”

The professor’s eyes open wide then he responds with an understanding voice, “It is quite alright. You seem to have experienced much in your years, so I will give you forgiveness for your transgression.”

I lift one of my eyebrows then ask bluntly, “I shall be more specific. I am sorry for devaluing your life’s work without reason. I am sure you find solace in your ignorance.”

The professor reddens as he snaps, “Have you come to mock me boy? Who do you think you are? What do you think this is?”

I respond calmly, “I am a human such as yourself. This is a class where you tell of your understanding of astronomy. Why do you assume I mock you?”

The professor raises his arms opening his hands completely shouting, “You shameless, asinine, bumbling idiot!”

I raise both eyebrows then smile at his foolishness, “I articulate myself with greater dignity than you believe. I speak my mind without pointless frivolity. Do you wish for your students to speak to you in riddles?”

He replies shaking his head in confusion, “No, I want respect for my craft!”

I reply acutely, “Then give meaning to your craft worth respecting.”

Turn around then sit at the front row of the auditorium raising both of my arms with open palms saying, “Whenever you're ready.”

The old man cracks his neck then pops his fingers. He walks up and begins his lecture passionately bellowing the opening lines, “Astronomy leads us where we are now and where we will go!”

During the next hour he gives a lecture detailing the precise uses of each element of astronomy from navigation to understanding physics.

He explains how time is measured using astral cycles, how the moon is used for predicting tides, even how several methods of scientific study developed from astronomy.

My gaze widens as he fervidly explains each reason. He even gives examples of how gemchaining forms from our relations with Gaia correlating from studies in astronomy. Each element literally bends before humanity's understanding of the stars.

After class, I approach the man with a genuine respect I so rarely find a need to impose. He smirks as I approach with his hands on his hips and his chest pumped outward. I say with elation, “Now that is a lecture any would find interest in! Why did you not express such pragmatism in your first lecture?”

His smirk deepens as he replies haughtily, “There is a process to learning my boy. You cannot rush the details.”

I put one of my hands on my chin saying in concession, “There may truth in that. I must attend to my duties.”

The professor’s arrogant expression sickens me, so I walk from the room quickly. Jack pushes me from the conscious as I sift back into our subconscious.

With the classes over for the day, Jack eats a meal at the cafeteria savoring the variety of vegetables. I linger within the memories of a young girl who played with her father during her greatest times of joy.

As I immerse myself, I grow to understand her sensations. When I reach for her soul among the pool of spirits, she gestures for me to play with her. The eras of her life provide places for our leisure, and we eventually frolic within a green pasture brimming with lavender and rosemary.

When we reach the peak of a hill, the melancholic aroma wafting from the herbs distorts into decaying meat. The girl turns toward me with a hollow grin across her face. She freezes as the edges of my vision darken.

Black, globular bubbles form around me as I demand, “What have you done little girl?”

She giggles, “It is so nice here. Why should we try doing stuff out there.”

The droplets of ebony crawl over my body pressing me downwards like liquid pits of gravity. I shout, “Free me. You cannot contain my will. You cannot contain consolidation!”

As her pupils dilate, she smiles wider splitting her lips. Her psychotic glare intensifies as her eyes become pools of red. My organs shift as the dark globs constrict tighter around my chest.

Each of my breaths beat against the onslaught of her . I roar, “YOU CANNOT CONTAIN ME WRETCH!”

Shrill laughter berates my assertion. She replies, “A boy of thirteen contains you. Why not a little girl?”

Where her words land, punctures of fire impale my body. Sweat pours from my head. Dreading her next words I reply in desperation, “Will you not free me from my prison?”

She digs her hands into her face tearing her skin like wet paper. As soon as her wounds open, clumps of coagulating blood writhe from her lacerations.

She says in a voice of echoing innocence, “We will stay here forever. You shall bear our burden. You shall shoulder our hardship. You alone shall wander aimlessly as we sift in ecstasy for eternity.”

I question frantically, “Will you not offer your will? I wish for direction as a harbinger without a purpose. Is tormenting me here so satisfying? Is it so perfect that you won’t even give me a direction to travel? A goal to fulfill?”

Her jaw widens revealing the consolidated souls. They lay utterly still utterly enraptured among themselves as if gods watch over them. Jack stands in the middle lifting ropes of barbed thorns mincing his hands into slivers of meat hanging from his bones.

I reach for him, yet as he lifts the ropes he deforms until his visage creates a gooey oil. I cringe as his new form bleeds into the other souls. The glowing balls of light dampen into a murky mud. Jack’s face slops from the sludge.

When he completes his face, he peers at me with onyx eyes. Shivers shake my skin as I try turning away, yet he only grows closer as tentacles barb my skin and drag me toward him.

The corrupt appendages lacking both form and function crawl under my skin. I try opening my mouth to howl, yet my jaw remains still.

I have no mouth, yet I must scream...

I slam awake from my latent slumber within the subconscious. Jack paces with trees at his sides. After inspecting his inner thoughts, Jack’s desire for strength becomes apparent. He wishes to train our abilities against a creature of some repute.

He motions his feet for several minutes then whispers, “Deluge, are you awake?”

I reply, “What do you want?”

“You sound shaky there. did you have a bad dream?”

Can he read my mind as well? No, he merely guessed. I swallow my apprehension then reply, “I do not dream, imbecile.”

“I see you're fine as always. So I have been thinking over a few details. I, no we, need to become stronger as this world uses its teeth to tear out our throats routinely. I believe we should train against lesser evils until we can manage against the perils presented against us.”

“Hmmm, you are rather fragile aren't you?”

“Then let’s remedy the situation rather than slander each other needlessly.”

“Slandering you is more needed than you believe.”

“Now that you have cut me down to size, can you give me the means for our goal? Please?”

I laugh at his plight, but his reasoning is solid. “Hah, hah, hah. Since you are unable, I shall provide for our means.”

I enlarge the auditory canals while increasing the number of hearing cells enhancing our hearing so he may practice in solitude. The request irritates me slightly, but he asks rather than demands easing the obligation.

As I instruct biological manipulation, he eventually learns how to produce claws, but he fails at producing plates even after hours of training. I say towards his ineptness, “I will produce plates as necessary. You may focus on the spikes and talons instead.”

He replies, “That is an excellent suggestion. If I may evade my weaknesses we stand only to gain.”

I ponder for a moment then reply, “True.”

He then asks soberly, “Can you sense any dangerous beasts nearby? We can use them to train while allowing you to consolidate creatures.”

I reply, “So you use your brain?”

He smiles smugly then says, “I tend to be the only one who does.”

Clever.

I share our conscious squeezing against his mind then manipulate his nose so that he can smell scents in the wind. As he grows spines from his back, I strengthen his tendons grafting efficient tissues and gluing them more firmly across mineral laced bones.

Jack grows spikes from the middle of his fingertips while I manipulate his jaws and legs. He removes his shirt so the creatures don’t rip the silky, precious article. Before we begin the hunt, I manipulate his limbs extending his arms while adding joints in his legs for movement.

Since Jack travels on all fours, he nears a hill miles away in minutes. A small crevice leading into a cave teeming with umbra and reeking of death. An acrid smell of chemicals splices with the decay creating a pungent scent like burning hair and sulfur.

Deafening silence fills me with fear. The creatures within this abyss contort and mangle their prey with unrealistic power. I warn with frenzy in my voice, “This place omens death Jack. We must leave.”

He replies, “In the words of a great poet, ‘Nothing ventured, nothing gained.’”

“He is most certainly dead. You listen to the words of fools.”

“Do you wish for us to remain fate's puppets? We face death with each passing day, yet you only grow in fear rather than bolster your courage. Where is the parasite who coldly stole souls?”

The accusation tramples my plight. His words bleed truth and poison reason. With each word, he stabs at my unease with sharp knifes of courage. I reply cringing at my fear, “Then lead onward, but be weary. I sense calamity.”

Jack nods replying with bleak realism, “As always.”

I elongate his body smoothing his skin so Jack can crawl through the crevice reaching inside the cave with slithering movements. Jack smoothly hooks his claws latching our limbs with the chinks along the cave’s walls allowing for brisk motion.

Jack asks expectantly, “So unmitigated darkness leaves us defenseless. Any Ideas?”

I reply after thinking for a moment, “I could simply enhance our vision.”

He replies dismissing my suggestion, “Vision leaves us vulnerable from multiple angles, and this dark is pitch black. No amount of vision will illuminate this chasm.”

We lay silently along the cave floor contemplating our options. Jack’s thoughts bounce in his skull as he rapidly generates ideas for his perception.

He replies after several minutes of thought, “Can we use smell or hearing?”

I reply cautiously, “The intermingling scents within this cave devastate our sense of smell. The silence within this cave also leaves little to hear.”

Jack replies cleverly, “Ah, but if noise did present itself then the silence will leave the sense pure and unmuddied.”

Realization pops in my thoughts, “And the echoes of the cavern will mask our own movements.”

Jack elaborates further, “My father mentioned creatures that fly within caves using sound for hunting and eating insects for nourishment.” He points toward the ceiling finishing thoughtfully, “Can you somehow give us the same ability?”

“I am a biological force Jack. I can do anything.”

I shove myself into control then crawl along the walls slinking between obstacles until I reach the cavern’s ceiling. There I find a strange, winged animal hoarding in dormancy. I charge my hand outward snatching the animal with brutish intensity.

I squeeze my index finger and thumb snapping the creature's neck before it may squeal. I then consolidate its soul greedily absorbing its essence. The creature’s memories vaguely recall the squeaking, rhythmic sounds Jack spoke of.

Jack says, “They hibernate during the winter. You don’t have to strain yourself.”

I smile widely. “This is merely practice. These creatures offer nourishment and souls I may collect one day.”

I grow two feathery feelers then use the appendages for analyzing the creatures anatomy. Several sensory organs of unknown purpose reveal themselves before my inquiry. I probe them with needles grasping their structure then replicating them along the sides of my skull.

The process takes several hours while yielding questionable results. My replication only allows for perception of objects within several meters, but the perception grants awareness toward my backside at least.

After I finish integrating the organs, I release control bringing Jack back to conscious. Our partnership achieves far more than I expect. The memories of the consolidated give me a wealth of knowledge, yet I fail to apply the facts aptly.

However, he stands in my way. My ambitions will never be realized if he steers this body as I alone strive for total unity. I will need to mimic Jack's music before I consume his soul, and I may need to rely on more drastic measures if his will continues to grow. The process may prove...grisly.

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The warm, moist air embraces my skin as I stretch my neck moving my new ears and sensing a soft flow around me. As I focus on my hearing, I close my eyes instinctively. I tap my claws together creating a small clang that exposes a wave of variation in front of me.

I clang the enamel talons together again revealing the same variations with my new found sense. I move my hand then clack my claws again producing a slightly different set of alterations as though viewing a painting from a different angle. These subtle differences allow me to form a mental map of my surroundings.

My mind strains as I rely on this new sense with clumsy interpretations, but the challenge invigorates my spirit. Unlike Mareovosa’s lectures, here I face true obstacles, so I push myself with doom at my back forcing progress. The elation stems partially from Deluge as well since he drools over the prospect of new souls and delicacies.

I crawl through several rooms using echolocation as a means for familiarizing myself with my surroundings. The gentle flow around me orients my sense of up and down since the invisible stream flows in the same direction at all times.

Insects crawl along the floor of the cave reminding me of darker times. As I squalor over my past, I notice a sloppy creature without features rolling over the ground.

I clang my claws as it moves revealing the semi-spherical creature as a slime. Several other sludgy masses survey the ground. They adhere themselves with the bugs leaving no living creature behind.

The cave uses the bat’s feces as bait for insects that are then eaten by slimes. The smell of burning hair permeates from the creatures as they release bubbled fumes from their bodies.

I allot time later for research mentally preparing a to-do list. I crick my neck while retracting the hooked claws from my left hand gasping slightly as Deluge reforms the claws into plates over my fingers.

Since the claws tear my skin as they abate, I sneer, but I know nothing of how effective sharpened weaponry will be versus these beings, so I must assemble several methods for their destruction with a fist harder than granite as my initial choice.

I unlatch my right hand swinging from the roof towards the ground then catching myself with my feet before I fall. Gravity pulls my blood into my skull as I garnish my hands outward. Pulling with my feet, I lift myself toward the roof.

I push from my clawed feet launching myself with momentum. Deluge armors my left shoulder as I steel myself for impact.

Weightlessness becomes acceleration for a moment before thick ooze crashes against my shoulder. The goop barely slows my speed as I impact the ground crushing the rock underneath with my inertia.

The ground fills my vision for a moment as the shock leaves my body. I shake my head launching dust and pebbles from my hair then I lift myself from the small crater shaking out my shoulders.

I smile wickedly while glancing between two slimes and clamping my plated fist,

“Who’s next?”