《Ortus》Looking for feedback
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Hello!
I'm always looking to improve my writing and have recently received some in-depth and spot on feedback about what could be improved so I'd greatly appreciate if you could leave a comment regarding your thoughts on Ortus.
It doesn't have to be very deep. Just maybe pointing out what things you like, what things you don't like, and maybe something you think I could improve on.
For example: I like the pace of levelling but feel the character interactions and relationships a bit underdeveloped.
Something simple like that is invaluable.
Just leave a comment on this chapter; it doesn't even have to be a review.
Chapter 53 will be posted in 15 minutes! :)
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- In Serial11 Chapters
Crafting Hero
The story of a Hero that was summoned to another world, later discarded due to his class. Crafting his way through the world; Full of exotic weapons, potions, and beasts-armors - His crazy adventure has just begun
8 286 - In Serial24 Chapters
Cloud Shrouding the Sky
Everyone will gain a blessing from God when they reach the age of 10. As an orphan I, Cloud, also went to the temple as the others when I reach the age of 10. When I was about to get the blessing, I met God. God tell me that he got something extra because my evolved soul. Later I learnt that what I got was a cheat skill. With this cheat skill i will be able to create a better future, if i can get into it. But really, kicked out from the orphanage and living on slums, not getting any job because my age and skills. Forced to pickpocket nobles and merchant with risk of getting arrested, sold as a slave or even executed. What a life, the future is bright but the present is so bleak that i almost blind. Then she came into my life, although it is i who first save her from danger but later on she gave me all i can ask for. A job with good pay, a place to stay, even her father sent me to the world famous Academy with her. She is my lady of luck, all skill i got was because i met her. Without her, even with cheat skill probably i wont be the present me. She changed my present and ensure my bright future. Right now i pledge that i will always stay by her side and guarantee her hapiness as her servant or companion. With me, Cloud, here even the sky were to fall dont you even have a slighest worry because i will definiteley protect you. This is my first time writing a story, i dont know if you guys will receive it well or not. I started to read LN from NU and RL, and it enchanted me. But unfortunately the author and translator are humans too so they couldnt keep up with my reading rate. From what i had read, i started to imagine what if the world like this, or what if this character had an ability like this or what if the decision the character made was different than the stories. All of that keep coming up as i read, and then a few weeks ago i started to write what i imagine into a new story. Through writing the story i learnt that making a story isnt as easy as imagine. I must think of name, plot, character personalities, the environment, etc. Then one day i decided, fuck it lets post it first and see how it is going to be. To tell you the truth i like chinese martial arts story better but i cant make chinese name since i dont know the language. I learnt from the internet that creating a random name in Chinese is dangerous so i make this story to be Japanese like western story. But i still want to add martial arts and cultivation element to it. I will write what my imagine is like, something will be changed along the way thats for sure but i hope you guys will understand it. Each chapter will at least have 1500 words but i am not so good at english so correct me if there is something wrong with my grammar. I post this so that i can share what i imagine. One last thing, i like OP Main Character and although i dont hate training plot but i dont like weak main character. I hope you like what i write, any critics and suggestion is welcomed so write it on comment section so we can discuss it with the others. Warning For you guys that dont like OP Main Character, bad language, violence, and maybe in the future there will be NSFW content, dont read it For those who seek perfection, you wont find it here Strategy, Business Management, Trickery not my forte so dont seek it here but i will try to make it if possible Character skills will randomly appear as i tried to think what op skill i want for my character so bear with it Plot will be good, well i hope so if not then bear with it
8 902 - In Serial157 Chapters
The Novel's Extra's Extra
As a reader, Cristopher always looked for things that entertained him, didn't matter what the "critics" said, all that matters was his own opinion on the novel, so he started reading "The Novel's Extra", a webnovel that despicts an author who is transmigrated to his own novel. It was fun and all with its own good and bad points, really, one of his favorites novels at the end of the journey, and that's taking into account the little fact that he didn't have too many things he was able to enjoy, not in that empty shell that was called life for him... Why could someone be born like that? With a void inside, an endless void that slowly consumes oneself... But... for better or worse... everything changed one day, the same day he woke up to discover he had the same faith of the author whose novel he just finished reading, becoming an extra in a novel, becoming The novel's extra's extra... /Ok, now that's the description I thought of... first of all, for those of you who are reading this, if any, a few points I have to make clear: 1. I'm not an english native speaker, so if you find anything wrong in the text, please let me know, that would help me learn, and I would be thankful for that.2. I'm writting this out of pure "enjoyment", so while I'll try to be constant, I'll not make any promises.3. True reason why I'm writing this is because I'm going through a moderate to crippling depression right now (and no, is not because anything trully bad and horrendous happened to me, it seems to have something to do with my brain's malfuctioning, among other things), and doctors told me to try writing as I enjoy reading. So yeah, this is more like a self-help excercise, to keep myself distracted while trying to be safe from my self.4. I choose to make a fanfiction of "The Novel's Extra" as I don't trully know how to write, and because I really loved that webnovel, though there are some points I didn't particulary liked.5. If you see some (let's be clear, really much) self insertion on this series, well, that may be me trying to escape reality, to which I make an early warning and disclaimer, and also ask for forgiveness, as I said before, this is more of an excercise, so don't take it too serious.6. I'll be a slow writer, as I have to still check a few things from the novel, even when I've read it like 3 or 4 times already, and because I know shit about writing a novel or a series.7. If you get to enjoy this, then that's good, I would be glad about it, maybe even more motivated, but I don't really expect this to be any good. Thanks to you all who may, or may not, be reading this novel./
8 174 - In Serial35 Chapters
AVNIEL: Come Fall In Love✅
this is my first story..and I am starting it with my all time favourite avniel💓..this is the story of two beautiful souls..Come find how a girl who don't like any commitments and stays away from relationship fall for a boy ...see how a boy changes her with his love,care and changes her life...come fall in love with this beautiful couple😍
8.09 226 - In Serial20 Chapters
// Dreamnotfound Animatic \
It says it all in the title. The animations/animatics do not belong to me DISCONTINUED Disclaimer :I'm really bad at updating
8 183 - In Serial26 Chapters
17 year old Jordyn walker moves to Brighton, Shes not very happy about it, she went to the pier and sees a trampoline park, *fuck it* she thought and went inside. once they told her it was rented out she went to walk out the door"hey! wait!"
8 261

