《Ortus》Looking for feedback
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Hello!
I'm always looking to improve my writing and have recently received some in-depth and spot on feedback about what could be improved so I'd greatly appreciate if you could leave a comment regarding your thoughts on Ortus.
It doesn't have to be very deep. Just maybe pointing out what things you like, what things you don't like, and maybe something you think I could improve on.
For example: I like the pace of levelling but feel the character interactions and relationships a bit underdeveloped.
Something simple like that is invaluable.
Just leave a comment on this chapter; it doesn't even have to be a review.
Chapter 53 will be posted in 15 minutes! :)
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- In Serial17 Chapters
Mimi O Saku
GUARDIAN exists to protect the people and prevent them from uncovering the existence of oni (demons). Relying on their contracts with the spirits, members of GUARDIAN combat these oni in secret. For Yotogi Shuji, GUARDIAN dictates his very existence. His job, his education, his friends, even his fiance were planned out because of GUARDIAN. Now, a new promotion brings him across the country, away from his family for the first time. How will he adapt to this new environment and newfound freedom? Releases Fridays at 18:00 EST.
8 244 - In Serial25 Chapters
Astoria
The adventurers of heroes and villains weave together in the world of Astoria. Start with any series. Later on, they'll weave together, much like the Marvel universe. Series 1 - THE MERCHANT WHO WOULD BE KING Hadiin is sick of being poor and surrounded by a growing pool of billionaires. Life is unfair. Then a mysterious being offers him a chance to go to another world where he can be anything he wants, a world with magic and skills and potential. After seeing everyone else get rich, he decides it's his turn. As he starts a new life as a merchant in a fantasy world, he meets a dragon sorceress, a Lady vampire, and runs afoul of a former adventurer who is as much gangster as merchant. Series 2 - LOVE AND GLORY Ai is a deaf student in the musical arts program at Kyoto University. Yeong, an aspiring teacher and part of the archery club, is a university exchange student from Korea. They meet under the cherry blossoms along the Philosopher's Path and sparks fly—only for both to find suddenly themselves in another world, surrounded by corpses, a magical ritual gone very wrong. With the help of a knight commander and a star mage, they stumble into mystery and a new life.
8 256 - In Serial6 Chapters
Lore and Legend - The Werewolf
Set in the world of Chronicles of Elyria, a young woman struggles to support her family after her husband's wartime injury keeps him at home. Without enough food for the coming winter, she's forced to make risky decisions in the hopes of survival.Author's note: I initially started writing this for another community but it was suggested that I should post it for this site too, so I hope you enjoy! The world it's set in is from the video game Chronicles of Elyria, which is being developed right now. You can check it out at www.ChroniclesOfElyria.com. If you do head that way, I'd appreciate it if you entered my friend code of 51E750 into your account to show the referral. If not, that's fine as well.
8 119 - In Serial11 Chapters
PANDORA'S HEARTH
Inside the underworld's walls lived two immortals. One was a girl trapped in a fifteen year old body, while the other was a boy whose true name no living person should speak. They have spent the last fifty years preparing for a quest to lift their curses. And on one fateful night, a mysterious visitor came to kick-start it against their wills.
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A Mindful Relationship [Jensoo]
A world where you can talk to your soulmate through your thoughts alone. A mystery of who your soulmate would be begins now in the life of Kim Jennie. Who would it be? ...Inspired by Soulmate Accident converted by @blinkbell
8 140 - In Serial8 Chapters
*morsmordre* - [hermionexdraco]
- 𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝘆𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘀 𝗮𝗳𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗕𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗹𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝗛𝗼𝗴𝘄𝗮𝗿𝘁𝘀. 𝗩𝗼𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘁 𝘄𝗶𝗻𝘀. 𝗗𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗼 𝗠𝗮𝗹𝗳𝗼𝘆, 𝗮𝘀 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱 𝗗𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝗘𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗿 𝗱𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗛𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗺𝘆, 𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹, 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺𝗲𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗿𝘁𝗮𝗹 𝗲𝗻𝗲𝗺𝘆. -- 4 in dracoandhermione -- 78 in deathlyhallows - - 683 in dramione - - i don't own any of the characters -
8 97
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