《Confessions of the Magpie Wizard》Book 5: Chapter 44 (Wherein Buddy Lives Up To His Name)

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Chapter 44

The next few moments are a jumble of sensations in my memory: my legs and free arm pumping, the heat from my exertions overcoming the chill night air, and most of all, Mulciber’s continued screeching. His caterwauling was so bone-rattling that I wondered if Yatener had designed it that way as a psychological weapon.

If it was, it backfired, since the screech gave me an instant’s warning before Mulciber was upon me. It seemed the mutant had abandoned his ranged attacks, like I’d expected. Unclipping the enchanted cane from my belt, I spun about and fired an oversized Bloody Lance into the ground, kicking up a spray of rich soil into the air. Even in his enraged state, the sudden barrage startled Mulciber, and he juked to the right. My follow up shot went wide, but it kept him dodging. I didn’t want him to get any smart ideas about shooting off any Fireballs. Not yet, anyway.

He wheeled about, diving right at me. My stomach did a backflip as I realized I’d never get out of the way in time. I braced myself for impact when something cold and liquid flowed down my free arm.

I started; had I managed to wound myself without feeling it?

The mystery resolved itself in short order as a dozen tendrils lashed out from the tiny, weightless body on my shoulder. They solidified into wickedly sharp spikes, making the right half of my body look like a sea urchin.

Kowalski had insisted on using Buddy, despite the danger to the both of them. The one time Buddy listened to what Kowalski had to say! Typical!

At the last moment, the mutated devil threw up his wings, which glowed a blazing orange as he pumped them with magical energy. The tips of Buddy’s spears pierced the membranes, but they were too flimsy to stay together and snapped like twigs. Buddy thrashed about in agony as bits of him flew every which way, and a distant cry of pain told me that Kowalski wasn’t in better shape.

That wasn’t the end of it, though. Unfortunately, Buddy hadn’t considered that a body in motion tends to stay in motion, even if it’s skewered. Mulciber couldn’t have pulled up in time, and I was halfway convinced he sped up more at the last moment. It was hard to tell; I was rather busy being knocked ass over teakettle as Mulciber careened into us.

I’d never been hit by a speeding car before, but now I could imagine. My wounded hand protested, and the rest of me wasn’t much happier. I forced myself back on my feet, grateful that at least nothing else was broken.

“You’d have been better off with one big spear,” I said to the collecting pool of black goo to my side. “His wings are tough as steel, but one good blow might have pierced him.”

When Buddy had a head again, he nodded his agreement. He almost looked sheepish at the blunder.

Mulciber held his head; at least the impact had rattled him, too. He took a moment to inspect his wings, and the bright glow revealed they were riven with holes. They also let me see a distressing lack of concern in the devil’s face.

“You, golem,” he spat through his jagged teeth. “Are ya like me? Did they make ya out of a man? Didn’t know these humans had the guts.”

Buddy couldn’t answer of course. Neither could I; even if it was Buddy, letting anybody hear me speak in Demonic would be a risk.

My hand shot to my belt, and I cursed, realizing I’d lost the enchanted cane in the collision. It rested in the earth on the other side of Mulciber. “Buddy, keep him busy! I need the cane!”

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“Oh sure, you’ll talk to that puppet, but not yer old pal?” Thankfully, he didn’t know what I’d said.

Buddy did, though I’m not sure he needed the encouragement. He seemed smaller than before. Had he lost mass in the crash, or was that a sign of Kowalski’s magic reserves flagging? I could see him on his knees in the distance, Mariko bracing him.

A concern for later. Reduced or not, Buddy changed into a form like a jungle cat and sprang forward. The two set on each other, the fluid Buddy scratching away at the hardened Mulciber, even as he flowed around the demon’s attacks.

I didn’t have time to watch the fracas, instead rushing over to where the enchanted cane lay.

No sooner had I picked it up than Mulciber spun about, letting his wings bear the brunt of Buddy’s abuse. “No ya don’t, Malthus! Flamiwhorl!”

I cursed as rings of flame formed a dome over me, smaller than before. Splendid, I’ll have even less time to think. I shot a Bloody Lance into the enchanted fire, blasting a hole in the magical structure. If I’d been a house cat, perhaps I could have leapt through with singed whiskers. Since I was a handsome devil instead, it was no good to me, and I didn’t have time to widen the hole.

It was enough for a familiar, inky shape, though. I didn’t see what came next, as it flowed up my legs before smothering me in an all-encompassing shroud. I couldn’t move or breathe, and all I could feel was an intense heat all around me.

When it finally subsided, there was no sign whatsoever of Buddy, or of the fiery rings. There was only a sweat-drenched me and a startled-looking Mulciber.

“What in Our Father Below’s name was that?” demanded Mulciber. “That golem jumped right after ya!”

“Shockingly brave, isn’t he?” I quipped, my mouth dry from worry about Kowalski as much as from the heat.

“How’d you get a servant like that?” he spat.

“Good help falls into your lap sometimes.” I tried to sound nonchalant as I craned my neck towards where I’d last seen Kowalski. No sense giving away their position. I could see the large man lying flat on his back as a panicking Mariko fussed with him. I couldn’t make out much but their white uniforms in the moonlight. Was he unconscious? Wounded? Dead?

Unknown, and unknowable. Oh Enemy, thrice-cursed creator of this stupid world, if you let one of your idiotic followers die saving a wretch like me, then to Hell with you! It wasn’t exactly a proper prayer, but not too bad for a devil, in my opinion. If a near miss with the fire had given him a sunburn, then Kowalski needed all the help he could get.

Not that I could spare the concern right then. I lifted the cane, but Mulciber had grown wise to the weapon, and he was airborne in an instant.

The flow of the battle had taken us closer to my destination, which was a small favor. I blasted a hole through Viktor’s fence; even with both arms, I wouldn’t have been able to scale it in time. Another shot gouged a deep furrow into the soil; I’d need that soon enough. I threw the barn door open, grateful to see no sign of the mackie. Mariko and Rafal got him out of the way, at least. Just like Mariko had promised, there wasn’t a piece of straw left that I could see.

It was all according to plan. Mariko transformed the straw, and now I needed a wizard who could cast a spell, which wasn’t me right then. If only Kowalski had followed his instructions instead of getting himself…

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There wasn’t time to worry about this fate, as much as I couldn’t help myself. You always say you’re good at improvising, Marlowe, so prove it! I’d only have a few moments before—

The screech resumed as Mulciber swooped in through the open barn door, coming to a stop on all fours, his long talons gouging holes in the concrete flooring to halt his momentum.

“Stop runnin’, ya kobold-humper!” he bellowed, his voice partway to a deafening screech.

“I see Mammonin didn’t hire you for your manners,” I replied, leveling the cane at him again. The runes lit up, launching another Bloody Lance right at him. He tried to shift right, but he’d miscalculated; his clawed hands left him rooted in place, and he only just raised his wings in time to block the bolt.

Just like before, the Bloody Lance punched straight through the leathery membrane, but this time it caught him right in the chest. The scent of seared flesh joined the rotten egg stench of the barn. It was enough turn my stomach.

It wasn’t enough to put him down. I clipped the cane back into place, praying to Our Father Below for my bones to spontaneously knit themselves. This would all have been much easier with two hands.

Nothing. Typical. No wonder I’m begging the Enemy for favors, you useless fallen angel!

Another shriek echoed through the small space, and I took that as my cue to get the Hell out of there. A powerful yank freed Mulciber’s arms, pelting me with concrete pebbles. With nothing else in his way, he sprang at me. I only just weaved around his wild attacks as I twisted the fingers of my free hand.

“Spectral Web!” The blue strands wrapped around his head, covering his whited-out eyes. I cast it again to anchor a clawed foot to the ground. Once he was secured, I bolted back out the way we’d come. I came to a stop in the remains of Viktor’s paddock, right out in the open.

His talons made short work of the strands around his face, and I was fortunate they hadn’t thought to give him some sort of heat vision. The way he was glaring at me, I’d have been a pile of cinders. “Stop running!”

I removed the cane again and hastily snapped off a shot in his general direction. I missed, but I didn’t care. Take the bait. I ground my teeth in frustration as he struggled with his magical bonds. This is a ranged duel, don’t you see? You’re stuck in place, I’m standing right here, we know my spell can hurt you, so just take the damn bait and…

He raised his hand and the runic brands glowed an instant before the Fireball took shape. That was my cue, and I flung myself into the trench I’d dug before, squeezing my eyes shut. My wounded hand ended up beneath me again, but that didn’t seem quite as important when the world around me came undone.

I felt the deafening boom as much as I heard it, the blast filling the night air with brilliant flames I could see through my eyelids. When the pandemonium stopped, I chanced a glance out of my protective trench. Flaming timbers lit the night, showing that the barn was firmly in the past tense. Warped metal and rubble were the only parts of it that weren’t on fire, including the smashed remnants of the paddock walls.

“Should’ve dug the trench deeper.” I couldn’t hear my own words over the ringing in my ears, and I got the Hell away from the flames.

Thank the Dark Lord, I’d been right about Mariko’s affinity! Her talent doesn’t completely destroy anything, it transforms it into some sort of flammable gas! It was why she kept setting off open flames when she used her magic. The whole plan had been to fill the well-insulated barn with the lighter-than-air explosive gas, lure Mulciber inside, then have Kowalski light it up with a Fireball.

Unfortunately, those two just had to get out of position. Still, the roll of the dice had paid off. I’d worried that too much gas might have escaped to make a proper blast, or that I’d mistaken a correlation for a causation.

I don’t know how long I studied the fiery wreckage, waiting for Mulciber to emerge. He couldn’t be gone; I didn’t trust good fortune. Consequently, I nearly had a heart attack when soft hands grabbed my free arm. I could just make out Mariko’s words over the ringing.

“… so worried! Do not ever do anything like that again!”

“You should see the other guy,” I said far too loudly. “How’s Rafal?”

Mariko hesitated. “I… I honestly thought he had died when Buddy jumped in after you. He would not respond to anything I said; he focused and strained like he was lifting a great weight. When the fire vanished, he collapsed without a word. His whole body is pink, like the worst sunburn you have ever seen.”

“Better than I feared, worse than I hoped.” You get partial credit, Enemy. There might just be something to this prayer business. “I imagine he’s still out?”

She nodded. “Yes, I healed him as well as I could, but that stunt by Buddy drained most of his magic.”

“Poor fellow,” I said. Proving how far I’d fallen, every little slight I’d ever inflicted on the man came to mind. Why in Our Father Below’s name had he done that? “We need to get him to a doctor.”

“You are not much better off. You are all bloody and filthy!”

I looked down, seeing Mulciber’s dark blood mixed with a more human hue in places. “It did the trick, though,” I added, nodding towards the wreckage. It seemed possible that the blast had done him in.

My damaged hearing turned out to be a blessing as Mulciber screeched at the top of his lungs. Mariko’s hands shot to her ears as she doubled over.

He sprang from a pile of rubble like a shark leaping from the sea, sending a spray of debris like a crashing wave. The whole area was illuminated by the brilliant light of his wings. At least, what was left of them; their batlike fingers remained, but most of the membrane had been blasted off. They had done their job, though, since the brute was still sucking in lungfuls of air though his burnt, pitted chest.

Something seemed off about the mutant, which is stating the bloody obvious, but more than normal. It took me a moment to realize that his glowing white eyes were simply gone without a trace, along with both of his horns.

“Where are ya?” he bellowed, the words carrying the sonic screech. “Why can’t I see? Get over here, ya coward!”

Mariko cried out in terror, which seemed out of character for her. New runes had sprung to life on Mulciber’s skin, running along his throat down to his stomach. Definitely something unusual going on. This is more than before. Is this a spell that inspires fear in humans? I seemed to be immune. Was that a quirk of being half-devil, or was it my damaged hearing? Either way, I was fortunate to not be under its sway. Certainly the perfect spell for a living weapon like him.

I shook myself from my trance. There wasn’t time to speculate. If he really couldn’t see me, then I might just have the chance to track down wherever the enchanted cane had gone off to, and—

Suddenly, the lights back at the farmhouse snapped back on, and a dozen unsent messages and notifications assaulted mine and Mariko’s phones all at once.

Mulciber wheeled around, his pointed ears zeroing in on the commotion.

Despite my terror, some part of me had the focus to feel vindicated in my constant distrust of human technology.

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