《The story of how a Cultivation Universe was Conquered by an Interstellar Weapons Platform》Book 1: Chapter 3 – “Alpha the Lady Killer”

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~~ 2 hours after the totally unexplainable Nuclear explosion of unknown origin ~~

Alpha filtered through the logs gathered during the previous fight, trying to make some sense of strange and irregular data his sensors had gathered. Even accounting for the strange planetary readings, his numbers just would not add up. Whether it was the Penguin's abilities, the Output of his Ion cannon, or even the degree and nature of the Nuclear explosion, everything seemed... skewed in a way he couldn't quite pin down. Like there was something either interfering with equipment or causing some kind of abnormal reactions. In Alpha's experience, it was probably both.

The microsensor arrays onboard the Railjack round, in particular, had sent back some strange readings at the moment of detonation. Hm? What was that? Why would someone put expensive microarrays on a projectile designed to be shot at a target at 12 times the speed of sound, and then explode them into tiny atom chunks?

Anyone who WASN'T constantly monitoring the tiny weapon of mass destruction stored in their butt, was an Idiot, that's why; was Alpha's answer to the hypothetical question of the hypothetical readers of these logs.

Where was I? Oh right. Weird Data.

At the moment of detonation, the sensor array had detected an anomaly with the Fusion process. SOMETHING had inserted itself into the process at the last moment, resulting in a chain reaction that not only increased the released energy by over 20% but caused the atoms themselves to "mutate" (for lack of a better term) into a previously unknown isotope. Which in itself was impressive, since the Federation has created and catalog what they believed to be every physically possible isotope of the 207 known basic Elements.

This new data would have Federation Researchers drooling at the mouth for months. Heck, his commission alone would be enough to get some fancy new upgrades he'd been eyeing for a while. The Warhead didn't have the equipment on it to tell him exactly WHAT happened, however. Hmmm, maybe if he tried to recre...

NO! Bad Alpha! Nuclear weapons are not toys!

Still, he cataloged the data and added it to the research queue. Being a frontline "scout" for a Galaxy spanning Federation wasn't all fun and games with big guns and lots of action. He had quite a bit of "homework" (Field Research) he was expected to do before a Colony Fleet arrived. Locating points of interest and subjugating natives was only part of the job. No point in spending the resources in deploying a Colony Fleet if there wasn't even anything worthwhile to take advantage of.

Besides that, he had bigger things to worry about.

Alpha was starting to think that firing the Railjack in his current state hadn't been the smartest thing he'd ever done (and he'd done some really stupid things in his long life). The recoil had crushed several servos in his right-back leg, it was barely responding. Estimates put his mobility down by at least 30%. Not only that, but he was detecting several micro-cracks in the TAWP's frame. Even if he HAD another Railjack round, there was no way he'd risk firing it. He only had one body at the moment, and he didn't need it falling apart on him.

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Technically, if he was forced to, he could encapsulate his AI Core in a swarm of nanobots, creating a rudimentary transport system to relocate if the TAWP ever did break down. But that would mean abandoning a huge amount of resources, including his shiny new Power Core, and most of his projectile ammunition. Given how hostile this world had proven to be so far, Alpha did NOT want to be caught out in the open without any weaponry or support systems.

[???] - "Hummm, such a strange Puppet. I'm not sensing any kind of Spiritual signals from it at all. I'm quite impressed. If that last attack was anything to go by, It is quite powerful as well."

[Alpha] - "ADSFHKLASKDLG!!!"

Like a started cat, the TAWP shot straight into the air, it's Point Defenses swirling wildly as they tried to lock in on the source of the voice. Alpha's sensors kicked into overdrive as the torrent of data pouring in made him feel slightly dizzy in the way only an AI could.

What the hell was up with this planet and things sneaking up on him?! He'd never had this problem before...

[???] - "HAHAHAHA! Oh, come now. Did you really not notice me? I find that hard to believe. I've been right beside you for quite some time now.

As Alpha landed, still traveling at considerable speeds, he performed a complex sequence of data analyzes and number crunching that this Author won't bother to explain in great detail (*cough*), and finally pinpointed the voice.

There, traveling parallel to his left-back leg and at exactly the same speed as himself, was a ... Human head?!

Alpha nearly screamed as his metaphorical heart lept into his nonexistent throat.

Almost on instinct (or what amounted to an instinct for an AI), the TAWP's Point Defense aimed and fired a dozen rounds into the figure. The head exploded into a cloud of stone, soil, and sand, as Alpha skidded to a stop.

[Alpha] - "What the hell was THAT?!"

[???] - "Hey now, is that how your mother taught you to treat a lady?"

Alpha swirled around and armed all of his weaponry as a figure slowly rose from the ground. At first, Alpha might have mistaken her for a Human woman, and a pretty one at that (not that he was into Biologicals. To squishy for his taste, and always leaking things). But the more he looked, the more he wondered if his optical sensors have been damaged in the last fight.

While at first glance, she appeared human, closer inspection would show that her "skin" was a combination of a variety of different minerals and stones. Her eyes were two brilliantly carved onyxes, more detailed and intricate than even Federation jewelcrafters could manage. The "robe" she wore was constantly shifting sands and swirling soil. Her long, golden hair was the swaying grass that made up the plains, and it reached down to her feet, seamlessly blending into the ground.

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Alpha stared in silent shock at the "goddess" in front of him...

Before his weapons went live and reduced the figure to a cloud of dirt and stone.

A moment later, his seismograph blared out a warning, and Alpha shot backward, just in time to avoid the massive stalagmite that erupted from beneath where he'd just been. The strange humanoid creature reformed nearby, this time with a look of slight annoyance across her pretty face.

[???] - "Would you kindly stop doing that?"

[Alpha] - "Screw you, lady, This is not the day. I've been crushed by a Black Hole, crashed on an uncharted backwater rock, almost barbecued by a big ace snake, and chased by a flock of suicidal penguins with some serious anger management issues. Sorry if I'd rather shoot first and ask questions later."

With that, Alpha raised his weapons once more and readied them to send another volley towards the target.

Only to find... He couldn't move.

Rather, no matter how many signals he sent to his systems, the TAWP wouldn't respond. It was like it had been frozen in space.

The strange Lady just stared up at Alpha, a single hand raised, and an amused smirk on its face.

[???] - "While I find it amusing that you one challenge one such as I, with a metal Puppet, no matter how powerful it may be, I will have to kindly ask you to stay still for the moment. Though I must say, I am quite impressed with how much power you've managed to bring forth from such... Mundane, materials. Even more so, as there are some that even I am not familiar with. Be grateful, you've caught my eye, Little Puppetmaster."

[Alpha] - "Oh frack you, What did you do to my systems? I'll have you know that damaging Federation property is a capital crime and punishable by... GAK!!!"

The next moment, the TAWP was pressed into the ground with a force acceding 3Gs, and Alpha heard his frame groan in protest. Thankfully, the pressure lasted only a moment, before disappearing.

[???] - "Enough of these games. I would prefer to speak with you face to face, not through this Puppet. I don't want to get... rough."

[Alpha] - "Lady, open your eyes, you already are. I've not had an Operator in over 280 years. Not since I was a wee little Malware program, filling the General's laptop with dank memes."

The woman stared at Alpha with a blank look, before speaking in a flat voice,

[???] - "I understood not even half of what you just said..."

Speaking slowly, Alpha retorted,

[Alpha] - "I. Am. Me. Lady, you're speaking Federation Common, have you seriously never seen an AI before?! For that matter, who the hell are you? How did you get here? If you're already here, does that mean there is a Federation Base nearby?! Why am I not picking up any Translight signals? Hell, not even any Radio. What the hell is up with this place?!"

[???] - "You hear me speak what you wish to hear me speak. Since when has an Elemental's tongue ever been restricted by something so mundane as 'Language'? More so the Lord of Stone and Earth?"

Alpha gave his own blank look and responded,

[Alpha] - ".... Wut? Mind making some sense, lady?"

[???] - "Curious, quite curious... a sentient Spirit Tool... strange, I sense no spirituality from you though. How is that possible? What makes you tick, little one? How do you move and speak".

[Alpha] - "5,000 years of Artificial Intelligent Research and Advancement that's how! And I have no idea what a 'Spirit Tool' is, but I'm not sentient, I'm SAPIENT, Lady. There's a difference, and it's Speciesist to compare me to those half-awake children, I'll have you know! And you never answered my question!"

The AI attempted to struggle once more against the strange force that immobilized him, but to no avail.

[Jīshí] - "Hahahaha! You have quite the tongue on you, for someone in your predicament. Still, I like you. You have a fire in your belly. As for who I am, the mortals call me many things. The Great Elemental Lord of Earth and Stone. The Lady of the Grassy Sea. Queen of the Underworld. Heart of the World. But you, my little friend, may call me Jīshí. As for your questions, I'm sure we can figure something out. I have many of my own for you, as well."

[Alpha] - "Great. Mind letting me up then? The name's Alpha, by the way.

I'm here to Conquer your World."

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