“Round two has started and the jack is out,” anchor pig said.

“Will Ryley or the Princess be able to make a comeback?” Violetta shouted, but quickly changed to a whisper. “Beat this cheater, Ryley. Do it.” Of course, since she was talking into a microphone, it was amplified to a level where could hear. Real covert.

McGee tossed his ball halfheartedly toward the jack. It rolled to a stop, slightly to the right of the smaller silver ball. He wasn’t even trying.

“Oh, and another great throw from McGee,” anchor pig’s voice was starting to get on my nerves. “How will the Princess respond?”

Yaika turned to me, apparently oblivious to the fact that it was her turn. “So I guess I was pretty close to winning the last round, huh?”

“Uhh… Yeah,” I said. “Just… keep doing what you’re doing.”

The eye bag princess continued staring up at me for a few moments. “You should do something different than last time.”

Yeah. No fucking shit.

With the grace of a newborn deer, Yaika flailed her hand. Her ball fell a few feet in front of her.

“Another nice throw from the Princess,” Violetta said as the crowd cheered.

“A great one,” anchor pig added. Couldn’t they think of any other adjectives to describe a throw? Sport commentating was the worst. “It might not be close to the jack, but it’s lined up with it.”

It was finally my turn again. Apparently, the further your ball was from the jack in the previous round, the later your turn was in the next. I picked up one of my blue balls and looked over the field. I had thrown it too hard last time, so this time I’d take McGee’s approach. Give zero fucks.

I lazily tossed the ball. It hit the ground and bounced, striking the jack from the left side as it rolled by.

“Oh no, Ryley’s just moved the jack even closer to McGee’s ball!” anchor pig winced.

“Noooo!” Violetta screamed. “Ryley!”

I fucking hated this stupid game.

“Good game, bro.” McGee tossed another ball out. It stopped a few feet short of the jack. His first ball was still the closest.

“Okay, here I go.” Violetta closed one eye and stuck her tongue out the side of her mouth. She went to throw her ball overhand, and predictably, it flew out backwards, rolling on the ground behind her. “Oops.”

“So close!” anchor pig shouted. No it fucking wasn’t, oh my god.

“Her first ball was in perfect position too…” Violetta sighed.

“If Ryley can’t turn this around, then McGee’s the winner!”

I had do something. Clearly, I couldn’t control my throw strength, and the further the target, the shittier my aim. So in other words, I had a very particular set of skills, and they all sucked.

Huh… now that I looked at it, Yaika’s ball was lined up pretty well with the jack. And it pretty close. Even I could hit that.

I got into my bowling stance again. No point in holding back now. I rolled the ball forward as hard as I could.

With a loud crack, it slammed into Yaika’s sending it flying forward. It crashed into McGee’s ball, knocking it out of the way.

“Ryley! You just made the Princess win the round!” Violetta shouted.

“Whoo-hoo!” Yaika threw her fists into the air. The crowd went absolutely nuts. The king stood up, flexing his muscles in a variety of poses. What the fuck?

“Dude, what do you, like, think you’re doooing?” McGee asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

Finally. Now it was time to spring my trap. I let the smuggest smile ever creep across my face. “I’m just seeing that the princess wins.”

“…Huh?”

I waited for the crowd to die down before I rose my voice. “If I win, then all McGee has to do is tell the truth about last night,” I yelled, looking around the room. “But that doesn’t mean much, to be honest.”

“Sir Allard!” Lyili shouted right back. “Why are you having us take part in this farce then?”

“Hey, that’s just if I win.” I shrugged. “If princess Yaika wins on the other hand…”

Yaika stood there with a blank look on her face. “Oh. That’s me.” Yeah. Yeah it was.

“She could demand that McGee confess to the murder,” I continued. “And I have a feeling that the king would honor his daughter’s request.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Lyili clenched her teeth.

“W-Whoa, like, hold on a secooond?” McGee started to sweat again. “P-Princess, you wouldn’t, like, ask me to do that would yooou?”

“Why not?” Yaika asked, her eyes wide. Creepy as fuck. I doubted she was consciously trying to work with me, but her normal expressions did what I needed them to anyway.

“If that is what my daughter wishes, then that’s what she’ll have,” the king’s deep voice reverberated. “Now. Continue the match.”

“Wow, o-okay,” Violetta mumbled. “Umm… Princess Yaika will throw the jack this round…”

“Hurgh!” Yaika threw the silver ball overhand. I wasn’t sure why she kept doing that, but it was fine with me. It fell just a few feet from her. She took her ball in her hand and tossed it too. It landed about a foot away.

“A… good throw from the Princess…” anchor pig said. It wasn’t just McGee, the whole room seemed to be on pins and needles. Perfect.

McGee let his ball drop with a flick of his tentacle. It rolled to a stop, just inches from the jack. He let out a gurgley sigh of relief.

Time to fuck some shit up.

In a swoop of my arm, I sent my ball shooting across the floor. A loud clacking sound rang out as it hit the jack, sending it flying to the other side of the throne room.

“Come on, man!” McGee shouted. “What the heck are you doing?” This was the first time I had heard him sound so angry.

“What?” I raised my eyebrows. “Don’t tell me you can’t make a shot that far…”

McGee glared back at me.

“Are you going to choke again?” I asked. “Choke like you did this morning?”

“Ow…” Yaika said as her second ball dropped on her own foot. Smooth stuff, princess.

“Don’t, like, underestimate me.” A tentacle rocketed out of McGee’s body, snatching up his second ball. “I’ll… show you.” His tentacle stretched out so fast, my eyes hardly registered it. It came back to him like a rubber band snapping against skin.

“What a move!” anchor pig yelled. The crowd burst into applause. His ball was right up against the jack. Jackpot. Pun intended.

McGee turned to me. With his hair, it was a lot easier to tell which part of him was his ‘front’. “I’d, like, like to see you make that shot?”

I dropped my ball on the ground in front of me. “Naw, I’m good.”

“W-What!?”

“And that’s the game!” the pig squealed. “McGee wins!”

“Hold on!” McGee silenced the room. “Ryley… Why did you, like, just do that?”

“Mr. Allard… I’m honestly quite confused myself,” the king added.

Alright, it was time to sound like a mastermind bad ass.

“It’s simple, your majesty.” Adrenaline was pumping through my body. “McGee hasn’t been honest with us, and he just proved it.”

Lyili whipped her hair past her shoulder, pointing her finger out at me. “What could that nonsense have possibly proved?”

“I think you’ll all remember that McGee took Prowteg’s place as the team anchor today. Well there was something that really bothered me about that. You see, McGee missed his last shot, costing his team the game.”

“Alright, now wait just a second here.” Coach rushed out of the audience. “Your majesty, this has nothin’ to do with…”

“Shut it, old man,” I said. “It has everything to do with this.”

“Mr. Coach,” the king sounded cold. “You have already caused enough trouble for us today. Do not interrupt this trial again, understood?”

“…Y-Yes, your majesty.”

“Please continue, Mr. Allard.”

“Gladly.” I pointed at the blonde blob. “You all saw it with your own eyes. There’s no reason why McGee couldn’t have just stretched his tentacle at the match this morning. Not to mention that he had sent up magnets. He could have easily manipulated where his ball landed!”

The king was on the edge of his seat. Literally. “But then… what does this mean?”

Here it was. Time to bust some bocce balls.

“It means that McGee wasn’t cheating to win. He was fixing the game to lose!”