Violetta’s mouth was wide open. “Five thousand centipedes?”

“How much is that worth exactly?” I mean, obviously they couldn’t give it to me in dollars or anything.

“These are large centipedes we’re talking about, Sir Allard,” Lyili said. “A single large centipede is worth a hundred small.”

Violetta latched onto my arm for the millionth time. “That means… five thousand is worth… umm…”

“Five hundred thousand.” I sighed. Now that was sounding a lot more like a number to gasp at.

“Indeed.” Lyili smiled. “It’s enough to live the rest of your life quite comfortably.”

“Alright. I get it.” I didn’t get it. They didn’t seem that far off from dollars, but why centipedes? Could you breed them to make more money? When was one big enough to be a ‘large’ centipede? Why the fuck would anyone choose centipedes as their currency? Why was I thinking about this instead of addressing the most obvious question? “How did you all know she was talking about large ones anyway?”

Violetta looked up at me. “Hmm?

“You all gasped before she even said they were large.”

“Why, you could tell from her tone, Mr. Allard,” the king said. “Ms. Lyili sounded quite serious, so it’s only natural to assume they were large.” I mean… I guess?

“Oh, that’s why.” Yaika put her finger just under her lips. “I just like gasping.” I appreciated the honesty.

“Anyway, what do you mean ‘things’ went missing?” I asked, getting back on topic. “Where are you getting this information from, exactly?”

“It’s simple.” Lyili shrugged, her skin glistening in the warm light of the throne room. "The coach of the Hellacia Janitors contacted me prior to the trial, insisting the thief tell us the stolen item’s whereabouts… Or face execution.”

Violetta slammed her fists down on the table. “The Hellacia Janitor’s coach!? Did you ask for an autograph?” Really? That’s what she was worried about right now?

“No. I did not.”

“What a missed opportunity…” Violetta sounded destroyed.

Minzfel put one of his hands out like he was grabbing for something he would never reach. Which he was. “I’m… sure we can get you one later, V-Violetta!” Kiss ass.

Suddenly, I heard the sound of the main door slam.

The king sighed. “If you need to leave the room for any reason, can you please do it quietly?”

“Uh, your majesty...” It was Brad this time. “That woman from the orphanage just, like, stormed out. She looked pretty upset.”

“My goodness, please go after her and make sure she’s alright!”

“You got it.” Brad gave a thumbs up and slinked out of the room as fast as his slimy bottom half would let him.

Shit, why hadn’t I realized? I was already getting so used to demons being fine with execution that I hadn’t even considered how Suza must have been feeling. One of the kids she took care of had his life hanging in the balance. Of course she was upset.

“Your majesty, the prosecution is being overly vague,” I spoke up. Yeah, I had this lawyer thing down pretty well now if I did say so myself. Which I did.

“Mr. Allard is right. Five thousand large centipedes is quite the amount of money to be so unclear about,” the king said, his voice so deep it was almost painful to listen to. “What is it that you’re saying this young man stole last night?”

Lyili crossed her arms. “Rope from the stadium storage room.”

I waited for her to continue. She didn’t. “Rope. That’s it? Rope is worth five thousand large centipedes?” Or five hundred thousand small ones. God, this money system was stupid.

“Of course not. What in the world would give you that idea?”

“I don’t know, the fact that you didn’t say anything else?” I groaned. “Did something get stolen last night or not?”

“A safe, Sir Allard.” Lyili turned her eyes away from me, seemingly staring at the wall. “A safe was stolen from the coach’s office in the locker room.”

Now we were getting somewhere. “And what was in it?”

Lyili still refused to look at me. “I don’t know.” Never mind.

“You don’t know?” What the hell was going on?

“I get it!” Yaika threw her hand up. I could only imagine what she must have been like when she was in school. That was assuming demons had schools, anyway.

“W-What is it, sweetheart?” the king asked.

“The safe itself is worth five thousand large centipedes!” She turned to Lyili. “Did I win?”

“My apologies, Princess…” Lyili bit down on her lip. “I regret to admit… that I’m unaware of the safe’s contents.”

“Come on, how can you not know that?”

Lyili finally met her eyes with mine. “The coach… refused to tell me.” Her cheeks turned pink. This really wasn’t the time to be thinking that Lyili looked cute but… she did look pretty cute.

Alright, back to being mad.

“Objection!” I yelled. “This is ridiculous. Your majesty, you should throw this case out of court right now.”

The king frowned. “Throw the case… out of court?” Oops, maybe I got a little too lawyer-like there.

“It means that this trial shouldn’t be happening,” I said. “We can’t accuse someone of stealing something worth a ton of money when we don’t even know what that something is.” That also meant this would end quickly. Always a plus.

“Hmm…” The king put his hand on his chin and made his trademark ‘I’m thinking’ face. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that this was just his way of waiting for someone else to speak up for him.

“Sir Allard, we’re speaking about the most popular sports team in the Demon World.” Lyili said, recomposing herself. “A claim like this coming from the coach is not something we can simply ignore.”

“Hey!” Violetta clapped her hands together. “Why don’t we ask Jaim if he did it? That will settle things, right?” Well… only if he admitted to doing it.

“A fine idea, Ms. Violetta,” Lyili said.

Violetta beamed. “Why thank you, Ms. Lyili!” I suddenly became very aware how messed up it was that Lyili had never even apologized for almost killing her. In terms of forgiveness, Violetta was a saint.

The king lifted his arm into the air. “Allow the boy to speak at once.”

Mel slowly removed the tape from Jaim’s mouth. As soon as he was free, he started yelling again. “I didn’t steal any freakin’ safe, you buttholes!” I guess he was only allowed to use the mom-approved safe versions of swear words.

“You really expect us to believe that?” Lyili put her hand on her hip, smiling confidently. “I find it difficult to trust the words of a thief.”

“Me being a thief is exactly why you gotta trust me,” Jaim went on. “A thief never takes credit for stealin’ stuff he didn’t steal! You dumb or something, lady?”

“Such insolence.” Lyili shrugged. “But the insults of a child mean nothing to me.”

Jaim only got louder. “And what’s with you anyway? Why are you all lovey-dovey with this no-horn guy?”

“L-Lovey-dovey!?” Lyili went red as a tomato. “Silence him! Silence him now!” Mel did as she was told and reapplied the tape. “Sir Allard, w-what kind of nonsense have you been filling this boys mind with?”

“Hey, don’t look at me. I didn’t even get to talk to him before the trial.”

“Get on with it!” a man’s voice came from the audience. “Get this brat to tell me where my damn safe is!”

“Your safe?” I scanned the crowd until I saw a big mass of black feathers with a beak. He was like a giant crow, but with claws on his hands instead of wings. Honestly, he looked like he was wearing a low budget monster movie costume.

“Oh my gosh!” Violetta covered her mouth like she was keeping her soul from flying out. “Ryley, that’s the Janitor’s coach, coach Coach!”

“Coach… Coach?” I narrowed my eyes. “Is his name… Coach?”

“Yes, silly! That’s why he’s called coach Coach!”

Okay.

“So you’re the one, huh?”

Coach Coach adjusted the belt wrapped around his navy robe. Why did he wear clothes when Brad and repair shark didn’t? Was it just an optional thing? “I want my safe back, and I’m not letting you take that kid out of that guillotine until I know where it is.”

“Care to share what’s inside?”

“Your majesty.” Coach Coach hopped out of his place in the crowd over to the witness stand. “I’m a victim, wouldn’t you agree?”

The king’s eyes went wide like he had just been caught taking a nap. “Oh, uh, of course. If you’ve really lost something worth that much, you’re quite the victim indeed.”

The crow man pointed a feathered claw back at me. “Do you see now, boy? I’m the victim here, and a victim shouldn’t be the one havin’ to answer questions, got it?”

“No, I don’t ‘got it’.” I slammed my hand down. “This reeks of bad news, your honor, er, your majesty, I mean.”

“Hmm…” Great. The king was ‘in thought’ again.

“If I may, your majesty,” Lyili said. “I believe we are more than capable of finding the safe’s whereabouts during this trial. I ask that you send a team of guards to comb the stadium for clues.”

“Done.” The king waved his hand. A few horned demons standing close by nodded, running out of the room.

“But…” Before I could finish, Lyili cut me off again.

“Do not worry, Sir Allard. Should nothing be found, I will drop this matter.”

Well… this was probably the best I was going to get.

The king cleared his throat. “Now… Where do we go from here?” Suddenly, he gasped. “W-Who’s that!?”

It took me a moment to notice, but when I did, I practically jumped out of my skin. There was a woman standing in the middle of the room. She was wearing a blue masquerade mask, and a tight black leather jumpsuit. Where the hell did she even come from?

“Fools!” She raised her index finger in front of her, moving it back and forth. “You dare mistake Blue Diamond’s work for that of a child?”

“Wait…” The king was practically trembling. “Are you… a phantom dine-and-dasher too?” Seriously? We were just going with that now?

“I am a notorious thief!” the woman said. “And I have come here to explain to you why this young one is innocent.” The crowd went absolutely crazy.

And then I noticed the blue hair.

And then I noticed how obvious it was that this was Suza.