Chapter 4: Fire Burns

Alright what can I do to make sure I am ready for this challenge. It will obviously have something to do with fire, but it may be only a certain aspect of it. Let’s see what I have. Keep the health pills in my front pocket for emergencies. I also have matches and candles. These both have potential to be needed in the fire test so into the other pocket they go. Hold the machete in my hand so I don’t have to touch anything hot with my bare hand. Finally, I check my water bottle. It is about half full. That should put out or bring down a small fire. OK I am as ready as I can be.

I walk towards the passage with the glowing red letters that read trial 2. No turning back now. As I enter the passage the walls start to glow red and the temperature starts to rise. It seems that I am at least right about which element this is going to represent. Up ahead I see an entrance to what looks like another chamber. It looks almost identical to the entrance to the chamber I took the Earth challenge in.

Now is the time to be cautious. Just like before I slowly approach the entrance as sneakily as I can. I can understand dying in a challenge, especially against magic monsters, but if I get killed for something stupid like not examining an area carefully for obvious traps or hazards I will never forgive myself. I cautiously peer into the next chamber. It looks just like the previous test taking chamber. In fact it might be identical. The only difference that I see is that the walls are glowing red and are not metallic. The temperature is also much higher here. Seeing nothing suspicious I start to walk into the chamber. Just as before as soon as I cross into the room a blue box pops up,

“Welcome to your second challenge. There is no escape until it is complete. Remember sometimes confronting a being with its own mortality is more advantageous than actually killing it yourself.”

Fantastic another riddle, at least this time I know that killing whatever shows up is either A) not a good idea, B) Impossible, or C) All of the above. What is going to show up this time? Across the chamber the wall starts to flicker like firelight. A golem of fire starts to step out of the wall. Seriously, is this just a copy paste of the last challenge with a new riddle and element? If so this might be easier than I first thought. Aww crap I just jinxed myself didn’t I?

Quickly, I need to solve this riddle before this new golem, let’s call him Bob, turns me into a crispy critter. Why does my mind always start to wander when I am in a dangerous situation? Is it a coping mechanism? Focus! What could scare or show a golem of fire its own mortality. Mortality reminds me of death. What is left after a fire dies? Ashes!

I need to show this golem some ashes. I fumble in my pocket for my matches. I don’t want to take my eyes off this golem for even a second. How come it is just standing there? Wait a second it kind of looks like it is moving its arms back. Is it stretching? Suddenly Bob’s arms snap forward and 2 glowing balls of fire are heading straight for my head. I flop to the ground in my best imitation of dodging. The two fireballs impact the wall beside me. Man that was close. I need to finish this before Bob starts too, ITS RAISING ITS ARMS AGAIN ALREADY? Cut a fat man a break. 

I get to my feet as quick as I can. Bob’s arms snap forward once again. Four! There are four fireballs this time. Were two flaming balls of death not good enough? Two fireballs are aimed at my head and two are aimed at where I flopped, I mean dodged, to the floor last time. Dang, I think this mean it will keep increasing the number of fireballs each time and each new set will go towards the direction I dodge. This means I need to finish this quick or I am going to run out of places I can dodge those burning orbs of doom.

I somehow manage to pull out my book of matches while dodging to the left this time. Close but no cigar Bob. As the fiery orbs of destruction strike the cave wall to my right I confidently strike a match and blow it out. I strike a heroic pose, or at least what I imagine a heroic pose looks like. I shout, “Look upon your doom Bob of the fire clan!” Umm… shouldn’t he be disappearing at this point? I know I got this riddle right. What am I missing? The magnet golem Steve broke apart as soon as the magnet touched him. That’s it, I need the ash to touch Bob. I throw the match with all my might right as Bob launches six burning spheres of ultimate crispiness.

As I scramble to the right to avoid certain death I watch my match travel all of about three feet before falling down to the ground. What an EPIC FAIL. Why did I think that would work? What do I do now? If I have to get that close to Bob, I am going to fry. I need something that will travel far enough that I won’t get burned. My candles, candles will definitely travel that far if I throw them.

I reach for one of my candles while starting to move diagonally to my left. A diagonal direction is just about my only option at this point. If I am lucky I might make it out of the fireball throwing pattern. Man am I out of shape. Bob looks like he is about ready to throw again. I hope I get the timing of this right. As eight different flaming orbs of destruction start to spread out, I try and do a forward combat roll. Man those guys on T.V. make this seem so easy, they never talk about how much it hurts your shoulder to do one of these on hard ground.

One of Bob’s fireballs just grazes my foot, blistering my heel. It burn’s! Ignore it, I have to finish this. I light a match and hold it to the candle wick. Come on, come on light you stupid thing. Finally, it catches fire. I quickly blow it out and throw it at Bob the fire elemental. Direct hit, and poor Bob is now just a pile of ashes on the floor of the cave.

I open up the healing pill box I received from beating Steve the Magnificent Magnet Man, popped my 2nd pill, and relished in the warm glow of its curative power. Now that I have healed up my injuries it is time for every gamer’s favorite action, checking out the loot. I walk up to the ash pile Bob left behind. Let’s see if this is the same as last time. I cautiously touch the ashes, and as soon as I do another blue box appears.

“Congratulations on finishing your second challenge. Results will be tallied at the end of the beta test and applied at that time. As a bonus for being the first human on Earth to pass two challenges in the beta test of the GREAT GAME all previous results and memories of the beta test will be applied regardless of the outcome of the final two challenges.”

Well that message was different. It seems that aside from pain and suffering there is no downside to me continuing now. I get to keep my upgrades no matter what. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking forward to the next two challenges, but at least I know now I am getting a reward for my efforts no matter the outcome. I can think about this later, lets comb the ashes for the loot.

Oh shiny! What is that? As I sift through the ashes of Bob I find what looks like a glowing ruby. What could this be? How can I find out? I know, Identify.

“Identify is not available during beta testing.”

Dang I forgot that commands are turned off. I need to make a mental note to check this thing as soon as Identify works. Worst case scenario is that I now have a ruby worth a lot of money, best case scenario is that I am now a proud owner of a magic gem.