- Day 16 -

Resolution

The walk from the backyard over to the tavern was one done in awkward silence, with neither Risk or myself being able to find any words to converse with each other at all.

Risk led as I followed behind him in the dim, reddish setting sun. The heavy clouded sky and fading light making for a chilly evening to go with this gloomy atmosphere. The slow-paced walk makes my mind wander to various possibilities.

I mean, if Risk is thinking of leaving, I’ll definitely have a rather big problem to deal with, trying to replace him before the expedition and all...

Though then again, I guess there is someone who could fill in for him if Katharine made the request, but I’d really rather not go down that route as Risk knows everything about me.

As we finally make it to the tavern, the city folk already have the evening in full swing. Risk stops suddenly just after entering, scanning the room before turning to me while pointing to the central bar at the back of the place where a few seats still remain. I shrug before nodding, and we make our absent approach towards the serving slave girl who recognises me with a nod and warm smile.

We sit, order drinks and remain silent, just sitting and looking around, observing the various folk enjoying their evenings. I couldn’t help but notice the burly young blacksmith lady, Ashley, chatting with some other young woman, laughing and smiling, seemingly without a care, which surprised me… for obvious reasons.

It's strange, there are a number of taverns in the city, but this one is always bursting out the doors once the sun completely sets. It could be the live music, the warm ambient lighting or maybe the prices, I can’t really be sure, but the various goings-on does lift me slightly.

As neither one of us clearly wants to be the first to speak… Guess I’ll have man up and go first--

“I...” “I...”

Seems we both decided at the very same time to get brave but both immediately stop upon hearing the other speak. I can’t help but chuckle at it, though Risk decides to continue with only a short pause and without changing his expression.

“I think I owe you an apology… For earlier I mean... Not because I was wrong, but because--”

Hmm. Nope. Let's not go down the wrong path.

“This is all about the promise I made to you, right?”

I lift my drink and swivel on my chair to look out towards the crowded tavern, sipping it while I let my words permeate. As Risk doesn’t take the bait, I continue.

“Is it that you’re scared I might die before living up to the promise, or that you fear you owe me something?”

“Maybe both… If I’m honest.”

He lets out a sigh before rubbing his face and turning to look outwards as well.

“Aburi, whether you see it or not, you’re reckless... It’s written all over you, you just don’t seem to fear death--”

“Heh, having died once already--”

“I’m not letting you deflect with that dry humour Aburi. You’re smart, smarter than me, I admit that but you walk into every situation thinking you see all the angles and that confidence you project, it’s reckless Aburi, it’s going to get you or us all killed.”

We go back to not talking. Just watching those around us and drinking slowly.

I’m a little pissed off at being called reckless again, but from his point of view, I guess it would have looked that way…

I’m trying to stay as open-minded as possible and think it through; Six vs three-hundred odd would look that way to anyone, right? Combine that fact with a merchant leading the charge who hired you to guard and train them... Even more so when the said employer doesn’t ask for or acknowledge your advice. Fine, he may have a point.

“...I’m sorry I didn’t ask your advice before marching us into the goblins… In my defence, I didn’t see... No, in fact, I still don’t really see how I could have explained my plan to you in the little time we had at that moment, but I admit it may have been reckless.”

He just nods, rubbing his thumb against the metal binding holding the wooden flagon together before gulping down the contents and flagging the slave girl for another.

“...You were right about the goblins. This… has little to do with just one event Aburi and more to do with everything as a whole. I’ve watched you closely since we’ve met, you treat everything like it’s some sort of elaborate game that you don’t fear losing. I slightly understand the ‘why’ to it after what you’ve told me, but you’re taking this all too lightly; trust me Aburi, the gods think nothing of toying with mortals.”

“So… It’s not that my tactics in battle that worry you, but rather my choices in general?”

Risk scratches his head quickly before letting out a frustrated sigh.

“I.. Both; I don’t know Aburi. I can’t explain it properly--”

“Then just tell me what you want me to change, I’m not saying I’ll change it, but I’ll think on it.”

He shakes his head and then shrugs, sitting and waiting on the slave girl handing him his new ale.

What the hell am I meant to do with this guy? I like him, consider us friends, but I can’t address what’s bothering him if he himself can’t tell me what’s bothering him plainly!

“Look Risk… In truth, with my situation, with all of this going on, if I took it too seriously and worried about everything, I wouldn’t be able to move forward at all. I’d just flounder.”

As Risk get handed his ale, I finish mine and nod for another while continuing.

“I guess I project confidence and perhaps seem reckless at times because it’s just my way of dealing with the situations as they’re thrown at me. I make plans while trusting in my ability to think fast and deal with whatever comes… I don’t, for a single second, believe I’ll solve everything myself, but I’ll be damned if I’ll let fear stop me from pursuing a path--”

I pause for a moment, letting out a slight chuckle whilst remembering something.

“Do you know what dominoes are?”

Risk shakes his head with a puzzled look.

“Small bits of wood, about this thick and tall, with numbers on the two halves? ...No? Anyway, a common thing people do with them is line them up vertically, close enough together so that if one falls, the one after also falls and so on in sequence…”

From his expression, he doesn’t seem to see where I’m going with this.

“Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I try to line everything up as best I can. Plotting the various branching paths and using what I have while optimising the path I want events to take... Does any of this make sense?”

“..No. Not even a little.”

We both start laughing, shaking our heads.

“It’s just something I remembered from my past life. Sometimes you just have to let the dominoes fall and trust you did all you could. Personally, I hate the saying as it means believing that there are things you can’t control…”

I pause for a drink, checking out the cute red-haired chesty broad at the other end of the bar.

“I guess... that I believe that once the dominoes start to fall if you can adapt the flow of events that didn’t proceed the way you wanted, you can still achieve the desired outcome, though it’ll probably not be as clean cut as you wanted originally... Risk, no matter how it looks on the outside, I know I cannot solve every problem to the outcome I want, but I’ll be damned if I won’t try. What may seem reckless to you, is just me dealing with events a certain way to ensure the next event happens specifically how I want it to. There’s definitely a plan in motion and always a cut ’n’ run backup, and I’ll always use that backup if I get the feeling I’m not coming out the other side--”

“So, you’ll honestly abandon this city to its fate should it become too dangerous?”

“For damn sure. I won’t waste my second life on lost causes Risk, nor will I sign up under anyone's banner… I’m not ashamed to say I’m no hero, I’ll definitely not think twice about walking away should this become a lost cause--”

“And Katharine?”

I pause for nothing more than a moment before shrugging and clicking my tongue.

“I’d ask her to come with me… though she’d likely refuse and want to fight to the end, she’s a knight after all.”

“You’d leave her?”

“Nope. I’d definitely knock her out and take her anyway... She’d likely never forgive me, and that’ll be the end of her feelings for me, but at least she’ll be alive to hate me. I can accept that outcome. Caring for someone means knowing when to accept what they want and when to save them from themselves right?”

He nods, finishing his second drink while gesturing for a third.

“Aye, agreed on that...”

We both pause to once more to absorb the ambience around us. I continue to check out the busty redhead while Risk has his attention on the woman playing the piano type instrument in the far corner.

“Risk… About that promise--”

“You asked before about my scar, the star-shaped one on my chest right?”

I quiet myself and nod, too curious to speak in case I dissuade him from telling the story.

“...A number of years back, I took a job with a young noble and her family in Quali. Simple protection gig, the father pissed someone off and wanted mercs to look after his young daughter. It was a long-term gig, with extraordinarily good payouts. I spent a lot of time getting to know the other mercs and me and this one guy, Dax, became sound friends. We shared stories, drinks, laughs… even the odd lass or three.”

Risk shakes head with a raised bow, knocking back the drink in his hand before looking to me.

“Turns out the father pissed off someone more powerful than he let on and got pretty gruesomely hacked up... Along with the mother, brothers, sisters, mercs, guards, maids, just about everyone in the manor, even the damn horses. Dax and I managed to get the lass out to safety, and we left her with her uncle in Requis. It was hairy, but we pulled it off, and with the job over, Dax and I were about to part ways when he got a new job offer back in Quali. I tried to tell the moron it was a bad idea to head back into Quali so soon but instead of listening to me, he somehow convinced me to go with him instead… Do you see where I’m going with this?”

“Dax got killed, you got imprisoned. Dax was reckless for going back to Quali, and you blame yourself for not stopping him?”

“Right--”

“So you feared I’m making the same mistake?”

He simply nods.

“...Do you still feel that way?”

Risk chugs his drink back before turning his head to me, just staring as if not looking at me particularly but instead, through me. After a moment of silence, he shrugs.

“I don’t know what I feel… but at least it’s out there now.”

“As long as you’re not done with me, I’ll take it.”

He lets out an awkward laugh before nodding.

“I’m not going anywhere… Don’t get me wrong, my mind's still not perfectly at ease, but I’ve said my peace as you put it. Anyway, we’re here, shall we make a night of it or head back?”

“Head back? Please, there’s a red-haired maiden over there that needs my attention.”

“Your attention? Mate, she’s been checking me out this entire time.”

“Oh really? Loser pays for drinks?”

Risk gives me a straight-faced smile while nodding.

“Aye, I didn’t bring any money with me anyway.”