At least Janaxia was still light to carry, despite her occasional telepathic grumbles, her body warm against Stathis’ back, arms around her neck, Stathis having to twist her shoulders to avoid being accidentally strangled. Rather than having to skid and scrabble back down the slope, Janaxia summoned up her disc, which provided a rather smoother journey downhill, before they had to progress back through the woods.

‘Sorry, Janaxia. I thought that cult had been wiped out. I’m surprised there were any left, never mind that they were out here!’

The arms tightened, making Stathis wriggle a bit to stay comfortable.

Oh? So you admit that this is your fault?

‘They weren’t my followers or anything! Just religious nutters that, um, worship me. Or did, at least, I thought they’d been wiped out or found better things to do.’

Hmph. More assassins of your mother, no doubt.

‘Nah, she doesn’t really trust cultists. She’s the one that got rid of most of them first time around. Although you should say thank you to Hakara – it’s her spells that are responsible for there not being any assassins teleporting in to deal with you.’

That wouldn’t be necessary if it wasn’t for you!

‘I didn’t choose to get sucked into some other dimension when I kissed you! I’m assuming that’s never happened before?’

I have most certainly not had any complaints from previous amorous indulgences. Her tone, at least as much as she had one when mentally broadcasting, was peevish. Nor have I ever been pursued quite so cruelly and diligently!

‘You sure? I mean, there must have been at least a few lovers that got weird about it. But you did sort of suck my soul out.’ She shifted Janaxia’s weight around. ‘For the moment, please don’t kiss me again? At least until all this is sorted, I’d rather not get kicked back there again.

It seems very unfair that I am judged as being at fault for all of this!

‘Well, the kiss I guess was my fault, but the whole “me sort of dying but not really” thing is on you. Maybe a warning of some kind? The cultists, yeah, those are my fault, I suppose? Although I did think they were all gone. I can see why they wouldn’t like you though, you are somewhat dark and eldritch and spooky.’ Janaxia gave a dangerous sounding grunt, clamping on more tightly. ‘I mean, you’re stylish and attractive and that’s what drew them to you. All those dark colours and well-fitted dresses clearly marked you out for them.’ The grip loosened, but only a little. ‘And they’ve probably heard the news about you. Or rather what happened to me – they did sort of worship me as a messiah. Well, before they were eliminated, even if not quite fully.’

It seems rather unfair that you are apparently worshipped as a saviour! And you most certainly do not look the part, even if you do have a robust physique. You really should put a little more effort in! And perhaps some warning to your compatriots? I was almost sacrificed to some demon thanks to your lack of care. Getting drunk while I was in danger! Scarcely the comportment a knight should behave with!

‘You’re the one that warped off! I think you might have given the demon some serious indigestion though. Anyway, can you walk now? I got attacked by a swarm of bugs and my back’s covered with bites.’ She tried to pick her words carefully, not wanting to get choked or upset Janaxia again. ‘Are you uninjured? They didn’t try and summon up anything using you?’

They were rather frightfully forceful. Dragging me to that cave! Most rude. Now, I do hope you have prepared accommodation? And food? A proper bath would be most appreciated.

‘I was a little busy saving you, there’s not been much time for anything like that! The tavern doesn’t exactly have the biggest range. There’s probably someone with a tub that can be rummaged up though. No shortage of wood for a fire, I guess. But it would be nice if you could walk? Feels like my backs on fire.’ She stopped and shifted her hands, lowering Janaxia, the arms tightening around her neck for a moment before letting go, Janaxia deigning to put her feet on the ground and actually walk.

The rest of the trip back was mercifully uneventful, without any other ambushes or attacks, although Janaxia did keep grumbling, broadcasting general dissatisfaction with Stathis’ behaviour, the temperature and the humidity, her general discomfort at having to travel through the woods, as well as the rough treatment she had received at the hands of the locals. Stathis tuned her out, ignoring the grumbling whinging.

Emerging back out from the woods into the bright light of town, the sea-breeze was fresh and revitalising, although she still felt tired from the fighting, as well as lugging Janaxia around. There was no mob awaiting them, which was hopefully a good sign. Stathis and Vrintar looked at each other, before both heading towards the tavern, Janaxia trailing along behind them, still grumbling.

As soon as they went inside, the barkeep looked at them, a flicker of concern crossing over his face when he saw Janaxia.

Stathis put a hand on her swordhilt as she approached. ‘You know anything about the old ruins in the woods? And the giant creepy demon chained up there?’

He poured some drinks, Stathis keeping an eye on him to make sure that he didn’t add anything to them. ‘They ain’t part of the town. Showed up a few months back. Splashed some gold around but then vanished into the woods. We keep away from those ruins – bad things happen to those that go poking around up there.’

Janaxia bustled to the front, stiff-necked and indignant. ‘If any more of those ill-mannered wretches should attempt to apprehend me again, then it will go most ill for them!’

The barkeep looked somewhat taken aback, clearly having never experienced an indignant noble in full wrath, mouth trying to form words but no sounds came out.

‘I demand your finest room, and the best wine you have! Although I doubt it will be of particularly high quality. And no treachery, or I assure you that things will go very badly for you.’ Her clothing was shifting again, into something sleek and tight, a boned corset and silken skirt, showing off the bare skin of her hips, silver patterns sliding over the material. She jabbed her finger at him, the slightest touch of dark power flickering about her fingertip. ‘If you have the facilities for a bath, and for your sake I very much hope you do, then prepare out. Swiftly.’

Even from behind Janaxia, Stathis could see the red glow from Janaxia’s hair reflecting against the bar. She stepped up behind Janaxia and placed a hand on her shoulder, wincing as a shock of cold ran through her fingers, the material she was touching stiffening, with bumps become rough spikes. ‘Uh, little less “evil empress”, maybe? And I wouldn’t get your hopes up for anything fancy.’ She turned to the man and invoked her own power, a golden light appearing in the man’s eyes. ‘I apologise for this, but I’d like to be certain. You swear that you have nothing to do with the cultists and don’t know anything else about them?’

‘No, sir knight. Upon my soul.’ He made a swirling gesture with one hand, probably a local oath. ‘They came and excavated the old ruins. Paid a lot of gold to leave us alone. Get ships in sometimes, more of them show up.’ He traced a hand over his own tattoos. ‘Fancy marks though, liked a few of the designs. Ships come in and out sometimes, bringing more of them, or they ship out. Got all excited a while back, don’t know what about.’

Stathis tried to keep her hand on Janaxia’s shoulder, but the cold was biting into her fingers, what felt like stone shards threatening to cut her fingers and allowing her blood to touch Janaxia seemed unwise at the moment.

‘So we don’t have to worry about retaliation?’

‘No, you’ve probably done the place a favour.’

‘And the drinks earlier?’

He shrugged. ‘Always good to get you adventurers drunk. Folk like you tend to tip heavily after a few! A handful of gold’s more than I might earn in a month, otherwise.’

‘Huh, well, that’s better than what I was expecting. Do you have any wine, or a bath?’

The golden light continued to gleam in his eyes. ‘Well, there’s a tub I can clean out. Might take a while though.’

‘Allow me to be of service, Blessed One. I shall tend to your needs.’ A lightly dressed woman stepped out from the stairway that led to the rooms, curtseying to Janaxia. She was wearing a light linen dress, her hair tied into long and serpentine braids, fangs visible in her mouth.

‘Ah, Sen. Of course, I trust you have secured accommodation already?’

‘Of course, Darkbinder. And if you would care for a massage as well? You seem to have endured quite a trial!’

Janaxia stepped over to her, letting Sen start to rub her shoulders, as Stathis fished out a coin and handed it over to the barkeep. ‘See to it and find any wine you have as well. Oh, and any rooms you have. Doubt you’re going to have many other guests.’ She relaxed, and the golden haze faded from around him and he set to his tasks with haste, several tankards being produced, along with some rather dusty bottles. As he was doing this, Janaxia continued to seethe, motes of darkness spiralling out from her before fading in the sunlight, her horns looking razor-sharp and glossy black, even as Sen started to massage her shoulders. The image of “evil doom” was slightly undercut by her increasingly relaxed wriggles and sighs as the massage started to soothe her.

Stathis lightly donked her on the head. ‘I know you’re pissy about being kidnapped and stuff, but tone it down a bit. All those layers are going to get stuffy in this heat, if nothing else.’

Hmmm. Perhaps you are right, the darker tones do rather trap the heat. I think I will retire to my chambers until my bath is ready, and allow myself to be tended to, as I deserve.

She shook off Stathis’ hand and stalked to the stairs, hips swaying rather more than seemed necessary, heels clicking on the wooden flooring, her dress drawing tight around her legs and backside as she walked out of sight, but not before glancing over her shoulder at Stathis, green eyes narrowing. And don’t think about following me! If there had been a door, she clearly would have slammed it, but fortunately there was only a bead curtain, dark energy flicking them to the side in a cascade of clatters, Sen curtseying before following her.

As soon as she was gone, the air seemed warmer, the background noise of waves and birdsong resuming. Stathis let out a long breath she hadn’t even realised she’d been holding. Vrintar passed her the beer.

‘Will you leave her to her own devices?’

‘At least for now, yes.’ Stathis looked at her hand, where slight scratch marks were clearly visible from where Janaxia’s outfit had seethed at her. ‘I don’t think she’s going anywhere for a while, at least until she’s had a bath.’

A hand emerged from behind the beaded curtain, crooking a finger as a flicker of darkness formed around the wine bottle and the glass, lifting them up and pulling them through the air, before Janaxia’s hand retreated from sight. Stathis turned back to look at Vrintar. ‘I don’t think she’s going to do anything more than defeat that bottle of wine, and probably several more. She has had sort of a shitty day.’ She turned back to the barkeep. ‘Keep them going, and if she re-emerges, send some more wine up to her. She’s a lot easier to deal with when drunk. If she gets super-horny or tries to eat you, sexually, spiritually or physically then run away and get me. This is important, it might save your life or your soul.’

He looked somewhat taken aback but managed to recover himself enough to pour them more drink.

‘If she does anything odd, come grab us, we’ll be outside. And let us know if any pissed-off cult survivors show up, but I think we dealt with most of them.’

They headed outside and sat down, Vrintar cracking open another bottle of something thick and syrupy. ‘Time to relax.’

Just the scent was enough to make Stathis’ head swim. ‘How about we take it easy?’ A metal cup was produced and filled up with the stuff. She sighed, then downed it, feeling the stuff burn into her. ‘Fuck me, that’s strong. What the hell is it?’

‘I think that it is made from local fruit? It is quite strong though.’

‘Reckon we should do anything about that demon?’

‘It looked like it had been bound for a long time, I doubt that it’ll go anywhere in the next few days, so I think it will be safe to take a break first. We should probably go back and make sure that it’s safe, especially with that strange liquid around it though.’

‘Yeah, make sure that’s not seeping out or anything.’

‘Hey, you guys look like shit. Where you been?’ Semari sauntered over, arms behind her head. ‘You got drinks without me! Bastards.’

‘You would have been useful earlier! Janaxia got kidnapped by a demon cult, we rescued her, she’s sulking in her room in the tavern. We think we killed off most of them, but keep an eye out for anyone with glowing tattoos.’

Semari helped herself to some of the booze, necking it straight from the bottle before wiping her lips with the back of her hand. ‘Oh, like that glowy-guy that shanked Janaxia? Huh, a whole load of them? Shame, that would have been pretty fun.’ She punched the air a few times. ‘So, they tried to kill her? Figures.’ She sat down on a chair, taking another swig of booze. ‘Would’ve saved us the trouble.’

‘We’re not killing Janaxia! Although I’m definitely not kissing her again until this gets sorted. Is Parth with you? If she goes wandering into the wilderness here, there might be something she doesn’t expect. Or is she doing elf stuff again?’

‘Nah, think she’s having a nap. Or keeping an eye on Hakara back on the ship. I guess she’s, like, stuck inside her spell? Better than having to fight Carissia, she blows stuff up way too much! Hey, can we get some food?’ She went to take another swig before Vrintar grabbed the bottle from her, not wanting all of it to vanish into Semari.

‘I think some food would be nice.’ Vrintar looked at Stathis.

‘I’m not stopping you getting something!’ The marketplace was busier now, with the fishermen having come back, their catches getting sliced up and cooked on barbeques. The smell was tantalising. Semari and Vrintar both looked at her, until she went up and paid for food herself, telling them to keep it coming.

‘So, we, like, going sit around here for a while? Nice and warm at least, but pretty dull. Sounds like you’ve taken care of the only thing that might have been fun. And I didn’t even get to see Janaxia get kidnapped! Did she scream? Or go evil again?’

‘More the second, although it was more grumpiness than anything else. She’s calmed down now. Is Pajaran around? I need to talk to her about something.’

‘Dunno. Does she need to do god-stuff? Was wandering about on the beach, looked kinda magical. So, we going to leave Janaxia here?’

‘No!’

‘Boooo! That’s no fun. We’re not killing her, we’re not leaving her here, we’re not letting other people kill her… What are you going to do with her?’

‘Right, well…’ Stathis took a deep breath, and then another swig of the bottle when Vrintar offered it to her. ‘I’ve got a plan? Sort of? Which is probably stupid, but anyway. It does mean you staying the hell away though, Semari.’

‘Oooo, you worried that, like, my divine essence or some shit might get corrupted?’

‘No, it’s because you’re a pain in the ass, and if you and Janaxia get into a fight then it’ll be a bloody nuisance to pull the two of you apart. Aren’t you worried she might actually be able to eat your soul or something?’

‘Nah, don’t think she knows what she’s doing half the time. And I bet I could rip an arm off and beat her to death with the wet end if I have to!’

‘Please don’t. And she’d probably regenerate an arm of shadow or something – let’s try to avoid making her any creepier than she already is. Be nice to her for the next few days, please? There’s that demon-god-whatever as well, so stay out of the forest. Actually, I don’t suppose you can summon Ronteah or anything?’

‘Nah, guess she’s, like, an absentee parent or something. Guess I might leave something on an altar of hers if we pass? Although I’m hoping she gets me something for my birthday! Be nice to know what that is, Kethys just made up a date, and would then forget and, like, pick a different one. Hmmm, wonder what Ronteah likes? Booze, maybe?’

Vrintar and Stathis looked at each other as Vrintar chuckled. ‘The gods above are more fond of gems and items of magical potency. Although their priests are often not averse to food or drink. So, Stathis – do you believe you can resolve the problems Janaxia currently seems to have?’

‘That might be a bit much, I don’t even really know what they are! I’m going to at least try and keep her from going all strange and evil again. And make sure she doesn’t get anyway near whatever that chained-up thing is, given her tendencies to absorb magic or whatever the hell she does. Oh, and keep an eye out for any more of those bloody cultists. I guess they think Janaxia’s corrupted me or something, so I’m on their shit-list as well. Don’t snicker, Semari, or I’ll tell them that you’ve got god-essence in you as well. They might want to kill you as well then.’

‘Meh, they ain’t got shit. Couldn’t even stab Janaxia right, and she’s super-squishy!’ Semari flexed her arms. ‘So, we gonna make a proper session of this? Never got to go proper drinking with Janaxia in charge, all the places she took us to were, like, shit, or super-fancy. Can’t properly swig wine!’ She knocked back her tankard, splashing some of it behind herself.

Between the sun, the exertion of the fighting, and the drinks she had already had, Stathis felt a touch light-headed. ‘Sure, why not? Pajaran can join us when she gets here, not like there’s anywhere else to go so she’ll get here eventually. But you can throw some money in!’

‘Awww, that’s not fair!’

Stathis gestured at Semari’s tatty clothing. ‘You don’t even spend it! You can afford a couple of gold.’

Semari grumbled but coughed up some coins, Vrintar likewise. At least in the sun, it was soothing and warm, and the booze started to taste better after several pints. From here, she could see the windows of the tavern rooms – one seemed to be solid darkness, Janaxia still sulking. Well, that could be solved later, hopefully. For now, at least she could relax that Janaxia would be staying put, and not getting either kidnapped or doing anything potentially apocalyptic.