《Adventures of the Goldthirst Company》Defence Against the Dark 5: A Mess in the Mess

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The officer’s mess was the same as always, except with rattier furniture and worse food, the rations supplemented with meat and vegetables locally hunted, all mixed into a blandly filling broth. Normally there was more chat and banter, but the air here was stiff and awkward, everyone unsure whether to address Stathis or Herith first.

Stathis was sat next to Herith, close enough that their elbows bumped together as they ate. Janaxia had dressed in a relatively restrained fashion, having gone for something that looked mildly sorcerous and wasn’t too tight or see-through, although was still drawing quite a lot of attention from the other officers, as she favoured a few of them with courteous smiles and whispered compliments.

Hakara was sat between two of the specialists, deep in some bafflingly arcane conversation, magical energy flickering around them as they compared notes and theories, the occasional flare of fire or ice as they showed off their techniques. Occasionally they tried to engage Janaxia in conversation, who smiled and nodded politely, unable to follow the more technical parts of their discussion.

Stathis tried to start a conversation with Herith. ‘So, how long have you been here? You’ve done a good job fixing it up, especially without a dedicated engineer unit.’

‘The request went in weeks ago, but we’re so far out it would take months unless High Command want to make it urgent. Our only teleport spell we burnt to get you.’ Her tone at least was measured, even if her words were cold.

‘Yeah, I know you were hoping for more, sorry.’

A hand appeared at the window, Semari climbing in, trying to sneak into a seat. Everyone glanced around awkwardly, not sure how to react, settling for pulling seats apart a bit wider to make space for her. Herith stabbed at her food, spearing and eating a potato before speaking.

‘What did you say Semari does?’

‘Punches things, mostly. I’ve no idea how it works, but she’s pretty good at it. And, uh, clambering around and stuff. I’m thinking get her up high, then she can drop down on the necromancers and attack.’

Herith looked at Semari, noisily quaffing down her ration of beer, then looking disappointed when she realised there wasn’t more.

‘She climbed up here? Up the castle walls? If she can do that, then it might work. Is she going to be OK getting away if it all goes wrong?’

‘She’s fast, and wizards tend to go to pieces when someone rips their arms off. The undead might be a problem, but she can probably outrun them.’

Herith nodded. ‘I’ve heard worse plans. I don’t suppose either of your wizards can do earthworks? It would be nice if we could seal the passes. I’ve had the invokers stocking up blastpowder, some catapults would be good, but I’ve not got much suited for large numbers. I was sent here to deal with bandits and stray monsters, I wasn’t expecting anything larger.’

‘… with the actress and the bishop!’ Janaxia said, scandalised laughter rippling out. ‘All a simple misunderstanding of course, but the confessional booth was far too small, even with them both naked.’

Stathis didn’t even bother trying to work out what she was talking about. ‘So how is it being in command? You must have done some impressive work to get promoted so fast.’

The ambience chilled. ‘Hard work. I helped with the cleansing of the Hadrassan Abyss, that got me promoted when Galgarix the Iron Slayer awoke, and everyone else panicked. It took 3 troops of soldiers, but we managed to keep him bound until the Winged Guard arrived and killed him, fully and finally. Heavy losses, but a win. Then I did a tour along the borders – keeping farmers safe, getting rid of the bandits, killing stray monsters. Boring but important. That’s what got me my knots. This is my first independent command.’ There was a slight tone of bitterness. ‘How did you find things after leaving the Academy? You disappeared very quickly. Right after the final gradings, in fact that very night, I believe. After winning the mock battle.’

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‘Yeah. I, uh, didn’t really want to stick around. And then I ended up on the other side of the continent, somehow met up with this lot, and things have kept on going since then. Had some close calls, but we seem to manage.’

One of the other officers lent over. ‘I did hear you were at Redcastle, when the demons attacked. A lot of strange things went on, from what I hear.’

Stathis groaned. ‘Yeah, that was pretty rough. We managed to get everything sorted but having a demon queen show up was unexpected! Damn near died there.’

‘I heard there was an angel that appeared? All sorts of crazy stories.’

Semari answered, shouting across the room. ‘Yeah, angel, totally appeared and fought the demon-maid. Well, the evil demon-maid, not the other one. The other one’s not evil, just a bit mean. But there was a big party at the end, so that was cool. Then we went to that elven place, where we got to hang out in the hot springs and there was a free bar. That was pretty good. Stathis, you need to get us more jobs like that!’

Stathis winced. ‘Did you forget the soul-eating banshee? And the dragon? And I almost died. Again!’

‘The dragon-lady was pretty cool, though. She took me flying, and didn’t want to sleep with Janaxia. But free drinks in the hot springs, that was a nice perk.’

Herith was looking even more unfriendly. ‘It sounds as though your adventures have been rather… pleasurable, Stathis.’

‘It wasn’t like that! It was a lost elven colony filled with ghosts and a bloody red dragon. Who was more friendly than I expected, but still, if it hadn’t been for her that banshee would have killed everyone. Although that was better than the shitshow at Cormontara. I’m still not quite sure what the hell was going on there.’

Semari had stood up from her seat, wandering down the table, trying to eye up the source of the booze. ‘All I know is, you never did pay me back for that brothel! And then we got kicked out.’

‘A brothel, Stathis?’ Herith’s tone was ice.

‘It wasn’t like that! It was empty, someone Semari knew owned it, so it was a cheap place to stay. But there was more demon stuff going on, and the old Duke was in on it. And Dalin, the new Duke, resolved it.’

‘Yeah, but we didn’t even get to see him and Jalmi get married. I bet you get good food at a Dukely wedding. And you spent most of your time doing stuff with Brina. It was a pretty crappy visit. I mean, better than the last time I was there, because, like, not much got set on fire and a blob didn’t try and eat me, but still a bit shit.’

Herith was decidedly hostile now. ‘You certainly seem to have been involved in some interesting travels. I thought adventurers were meant to spend more time fighting monsters and suchlike? Helping the commonfolk and so forth?’

‘Semari is skipping over the parts with the monsters. Like when we saved Fort Verinal.’

‘I heard about a Knight of the Sun being tried for crimes against the Order?’

‘That was just Larrik being a dick. Although at least he helped deal with the creepy monster. Hakara, any idea what that thing was?’

‘It appeared to be able to reflect magic – if High Priestess Carissia hadn’t been such a powerful cleric, then I suspect it would have been far more potent. I suspect it was some strange legacy of the Black Triad, and, hopefully, unique. I certainly wouldn’t care to face several of them.’ She turned to one of the other wizards and began explaining in terms too technical for Stathis to follow, something about ‘refractory interfaces’, occasionally subtly gesturing at Janaxia.

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‘So yeah, we killed whatever that thing was. And some vampires in Sainted Hirata, before we came here. Oh, have you seen Carissia recently? I’ve lost track of where she is these days, was surprised she didn’t show up in Sainted Hirata.’

‘I’m afraid that Holy Priestess Maiden Carissia has been out of contact, doing missions for her faith.’

‘Is that her title now? “Maiden” seems… inaccurate. Any idea what her faith is these days? I loose track. Hopefully not that shouting fire-god still, that was a nuisance.’

‘I really couldn’t say, Stathis. I am not privy to such matters of state.’

There was a disagreement of some form happening amongst the wizards, Hakara looking concerned, looking worriedly at Stathis.

‘Kelnara wishes to use the Rite of Tanelth’s Night.’ Stathis looked at her blankly. ‘It senses places, or beings’, she glanced meaningfully at Janaxia, who didn’t notice, ‘affiliated to or kin of darkness, such as vampires or demons. It seems, um, not useful?’

It would probably cause a lot of problems if Janaxia were to be revealed as an entity of spiritual darkness, no matter how true it was. ‘How long does this thing take? And how much information does it give?’

Kelnara spoke. In the years since they had last met, he’d managed the impressive task of filling out on army rations, decidedly less lean then when he’d been running assault courses and training every day, almost the size of a traditional wizard. ‘It would give additional scope as to the depth of the opposition. While we all know the scope and capabilities of common undead, it makes a significant difference if we are facing a few regular necromancers that have found many bodies, or if this is something… darker. There have been many strange happenings recently, it remains to be seen if this is simply a normal event or something more ominous. High Colonel Stathis, with your background and what you have been taught, do you have any additional, ah, insight to offer?’

The emphasis was almost painfully obvious. Why did people have to keep assuming she had special knowledge or wisdom? Most of her lessons had been statecraft, diplomacy and history, desperately boring things until she’d managed to persuade Mother to allow her to be taught fighting and how to use a sword. ‘My apologies, Specialist Kelnara, but there is nothing I have to add. But I don’t have any reason to believe this is more than what it seems.’

He gave her a strange hand signal, which she tried to look like she knew what it meant. Why did people always have to make things complicated?

‘If High Colonel Stathis is sure, then I trust her, ah, intuition and judgement.’

That was at least one less thing to worry about, although being obeyed so promptly was both slightly worrying, and getting her a nasty look from Herith. Easier than trying to explain that Janaxia wasn’t actually a demon or similar abomination, but still kind of awkward. ‘I don’t think we would find out much useful – if there is some nasty thing there, it doesn’t really change much, because we can’t go for allies, and they’re going to attack us just the same. So the resources are probably better used elsewhere. What do you think, Herith?’

From her expression, the answer was clearly that Stathis should stop talking. ‘Information would be useful, but I believe that there is a danger of it being detected, and a counter being launched – is that correct, Kelnara?’

‘There is a risk, but I believe it to be slight.’

Herith spoke. ‘I have few enough resources that I don’t want any risks. You would be able to detect, as I understand it, that there is a particularly powerful necromancer? That seems unlikely to change much of our tactics. If there is some artefact or something involved, then there’s not much we can do about it, and I’d rather keep you alive.’

Once everyone had finished the food, then the plates were taken away. Before the discussion switched to entirely informal talk (although at least this wasn’t an urban posting, where the local gentry would be demanding a dance), Herith banged her fist against the table, everyone going silent as she stood.

‘I don’t know how this will end, but this is what we here to do. Behind us there’s a lot of small towns without many defences, so if they break through here, then that’s a lot of death, and the bodies used as reinforcements. Up here, we can keep them held back, and if we can take down their leaders, then that’s an end. And we have the aid of a brave Knight of the Sun and her companions; Knight Stathis, Thrice-Queen Parthanelle, Hakara Trevant of the Barinian Academy, Janaxia, and Semari.’ She gestured at each of them in town, Janaxia looking put out, probably from not being given all of her titles. Introducing her as an Uth Tremari would likely get her tossed into a pit, so that was unavoidable.

‘Here, we hold the line. As the Iristari have held the line against fire, against darkness, against death itself. We will not fall here!’ She finished, and there was a moment before polite applause began. ‘I want everyone on battlefield footing – no-one leaves without express permission. Now we have Knight Stathis and her allies, they will take point on a scouting mission, to try and find the 42nd Light Infantry. Unless we’re encircled already, but if we are, then we have bigger worries. The ruins outside the walls will be undermined, to deny their use to the enemy.’

The other soldiers all nodded, accepting their orders.

‘This isn’t going to be easy, but the Lord Commander has come through worse, and we should try and emulate her examples. If you have any concerns or questions, come and see me, otherwise you have your orders. Ready the troops, keep their morale up, and be ready.’

There was general restrained assent, as they started to talk amongst themselves.

That seemed rather insufferably rude! To not only forget my titles, but to rank me beneath Hakara? Small wonder she was exiled to this remote outpost.

Stathis sighed. She’d have to talk to Janaxia about that as well, make sure she didn’t use her full name and immediately get thrown into a pit. And explain that being assigned here was actually an honour – or, at least, a fast-track to promotion, if Herith could prove herself under adverse conditions. She did what she could to try and make everyone feel calm and confident, although there was an understandable tension in the room, thoughts of the imminent combat making everyone nervous.

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