‘Here you go. Knock it back and try to blend in.’ Yeros put a trayful of drinks onto the table, slopping the contents around. Stathis grabbed a tankard of beer, taking a sip – not bad, although with a harsh aftertaste. Semari grabbed another and knocked back most of it in a single swig before belching. Hakara was hunched uncomfortably into a corner, sipping at her wine, as Parth knocked back a shot of some elven brew, eyes glowing with power for a moment. Janaxia had somehow contrived to take up an entire bench by herself, lounging as though posing for a portrait, drawing a lot of admiring glances. Red silk fringed with gold sheathed her body, managing to somehow cover up virtually all her skin, yet still clearly reveal her lines and curves. She was still wearing the choker though, holding her head high to ensure it would catch the light. Some admirer had bought her a bottle of wine, fancy enough to be supplied in its own bucket of ice.

Yeros spoke. ‘There’s been disappearances from here. It’s not pilgrimage season, so there’s less people around. Some people go off and join a church or head off into the mountains chasing a vision or something, but most people get some badges, pray a lot, and then leave.’

The place was a subterranean vault that once had been a crypt, to judge from the carvings on the walls and the seats mostly being stone benches set into low nooks and niches, the bar a long, raised slab of stone decorated with a frieze of skeletons dancing and celebrating. The staff were all dressed in funereal attire, wrapped in clinging shrouds of gauze and lace, their faces whitened with powder, lips bought to a brilliant crimson red in contrast. Despite the grimness of the place, it was packed, with barely any space to move, a deafening thrum of conversation echoing around.

‘Right. So why is this place in a vault? Why not a normal bar?’ asked Stathis.

‘There’s been a crackdown recently. Several of the more boring faiths worked together, and made it really inconvenient to formally sell booze, at least to drink in public, and for anyone without heaps of gold to burn. It’s meant to be “for the advancement of faith and holy works”, rather than to have fun. So places like this have sprung up. With your abilities, I trust you will be able to sense things such as vampires?’

Stathis winced. ‘Janaxia sort of blocks that, unfortunately. Can’t sense anything, so we’re going to have to do this the old-fashioned way.’

‘I know she’s attractive, but you find her so distracting you can’t focus?’

‘It’s not like that! Anyway, do you have any other leads? I was just going to throw her out to use as bait, see if anyone tries to bite her, and then stab them.’ Fortunately, Janaxia herself was too busy preening and watching people’s reactions to pay attention to the conversation.

‘That seems rather cold. I thought you had at least some affection for your colleagues?’

‘I think she’d probably do it anyway, to be honest, I’m pretty sure she enjoys being bitten more than she should. And if there’s any vampires here, she’s going to draw their attention.’ They both paused to look at Janaxia as she twisted slightly, drawing looks of interest from half the bar. ‘If she’s going to look like an evil seductress, I may as well put that to use. And she’s as noble as they come, so she probably tastes good or whatever to them, if her evil aura thing doesn’t draw them in anyway.’

‘Will she be alright?’

‘She’s pretty tough, she’ll be fine. If she can manage a medusa, then some vampires shouldn’t be a problem. Worst case scenario, she can blast them herself, but I think she’ll be enthusiastic enough it won’t come to that, but it’ll keep them distracted and then we can attack.’

‘That seems… effective, I suppose, but still, not something I’d expect from you. Well, anyway, there’s a maze of catacombs beneath the city, so they probably live down there, away from the sunlight.’

‘Let me guess, some ancient evil is bound down there, which might escape?’

‘Actually, no. The churches, for once, have managed to clean up their own shit enough to make sure that most everything down there is properly dead. Well, there’s probably a few wights and wraiths, but anything nastier is truly dead, or locked up in a temple vault. Courtesy of your sister, it must be said. Whenever she’s back here for another induction or initiation she travels down there and blasts whatever she finds, she says it’s relaxing. I think anything smart down there is keeping its head down!’

‘Yeah, that sounds like Carissia. So I guess the vampires are new?’

Semari jumped up in her seat and almost knocked her head on the ceiling, as a fight started up. Everyone else packed together even more tightly to give it space, fists swinging at each other, the crowd pushing them together. It wasn’t particularly skilled, the brawl not lasting long before one of them dropped after a strike to the head. The winner was wounded themselves, scalp wounds oozing with blood, falling back into the cheering crowd, friends pouring drink on them, the looser getting dragged through the mob and ejected upwards.

The crowd opened up to let one of the staff through. The shroud was wrapped tightly around them, revealing a slender, female body, only skin visible their face and hands. They drew close to the victor, taking their chin and giving them a kiss, full on the lips. The crowd roared their approval, Hakara shrinking in on herself as the sound echoed around the tight space. Then the victor was led away, still looking dazed. Normal business resumed. ‘Hakara, are you doing OK?’

‘Sorry, Stathis. I don’t like crowded, noisy spaces. Pubs I don’t mind, but this is just so loud and busy.’

‘OK. Sorry for bringing you here, but keep an eye out. Parth, Semari, either of you able to go track that guy? See if he’s getting laid or being eaten, or both?’

Parth nodded, ghosting backwards through the wall.

‘No fair that she gets to do that! I want to walk through things.’

Stathis shuddered, remembering almost falling through the roof at Fort Verinal. ‘Trust me, it’s not as good as it seems. I think it might be possible to get stuck inside things. Sounds a shitty way to die.’

‘Yeah, but walking through stuff would be cool. Not as cool as flying though. Hey, Hakara, could you make me walk through things?’

Hakara tilted her head, considering, before Stathis interrupted. ‘Don’t feel like you have to indulge her. Dammit, anyone know where Janaxia’s gone now?’

She must have slipped off during the brawl – Stathis tried to spot her through the crowd, but red was a popular colour and a lot of the crowd were dressed in similar clinging silks, many of those present dressed to impress and charm.

‘Dammit, try and keep an eye out for her as well.’ She finished off her drink. ‘I’m going for another round, who wants one?’ Everyone did other than Hakara, so Stathis started pushing her way through the crowd, having to stoop to not bump her head on lower parts of the ceiling.

The noise around the bar was even worse, but coin and booze were flowing freely. One of the staff wisped closer, a haze of shrouds and lace. Whatever they said, Stathis couldn’t hear, but she pointed at a cask of beer and held up three fingers, managing to get served without yelling. There were several side-passages, some leading to private chambers, others to exits, or deeper into the catacombs. She should have had a tracking spell or something put on Janaxia, to make sure she was OK and help keep her under control.

A loud brassy reverberation echoed from somewhere out of sight, loud enough to silence the raucous conversation. There was an immediate change, a flow of people towards other passages. The staff were already vanishing, dropping down a trapdoor behind the bar, after taking the money.

Yeros rose. ‘Shit. Time to go, we don’t want to get dragged in for being found in a place like this. Hakara, if you would kindly prepare to leave?’

Stathis drained her drink in two gulps, not wanting to see it go to waste. The evacuation at least seemed well-ordered, the place rapidly emptying. There were shouts from somewhere nearby, the sounds of violence starting.

They made their own escape, following the dregs of the crowd through the tunnels, people shifting through random twists and turns, the only light now occasional faded spell-spheres in the walls or ceiling.

‘So the guard are busting these places?’

‘Yeah. The normal guard are quite relaxed, or at least happy to take a cask in return for turning a blind eye, but there’s some new lot from above that are hardasses about it. They’ve asked me to help out, but it’s not really my thing.’

‘You could’ve given some warning!’ They took a turning, suddenly face-to-face with a metal grille, a corpse leering at them from the other side. Stathis almost drew her sword before realising it wasn’t moving, simply a normal preserved corpse, and not an animated monster. But this meant they had to double back, a shout coming from nearby, flickering shadows of combatants appearing on the wall. Semari moved towards them, sounds of strikes and impacts in the dark.

‘I’ll catch up!’

Stathis led the others away, leaving Semari to her fight, moving up and down the labyrinth of chambers, the other bar-goers now vanished. From how worn and faded the carvings on the walls were, this area was older and less-travelled. They stopped, coming to a rest in a dark corner.

Yeros spoke. ‘My apologies, Hakara. I wasn’t expecting a raid tonight – there was one only yesterday, they’re normally more spaced out.’

She was puffing and out of breath, leaning against a broken sarcophagus as she recovered herself. ‘At least it’s quieter here. Although I hope we can get out. Do you think Semari will be alright?’

‘She’s got a lot of experience at running away from guards, I think she’ll be fine. Janaxia’s probably asleep in someone else’s bed already. Or in someone else’s bed, at least. Yeros, you know the way out of here?’

‘No, but there are many exits. I’m sure we will end up where we need to be, guided by the light.’

Stathis managed not to sigh at his prophetic nonsense. ‘Right. So, as we have no idea where to go, and there’s guards around, and probably guardians or traps down here, and at least some maybe-vampires. Janaxia’s probably having fun now, so at least someone’s gained something, I guess. Could really have gone better, all things considered.’

‘We are doing our knightly duty, Stathis. Cleansing the world of evil. Hakara, would you have any divinatory abilities that might help us know our location? And I need to confer briefly with Stathis, to decide our immediate plans.’

He drew Stathis aside, whispering quietly. ‘I’ve never sensed anything so powerful and evil as I did tonight. Some vast and all-consuming force, threatening to consume us all.’

‘A blistering tornado of cold frost?’

He nodded.

‘Yeah. That’s Janaxia. Just ignore her, I don’t really know what her deal is, but she’s not that bad. Just don’t let her touch anything massively good or evil. Or magically powerful. Or magical at all, I guess.’

Yeros was looking at her in shock. ‘I know she’s attractive, but the sex must be amazing to put up with that. What the hell is she? Wait, those horns are real, aren’t they?’

‘Yes, they are. And no, I don’t know what she is. And we’re not having sex! Look, can we focus on the vampires? Or at least getting out of here?’

‘You keep someone like her around, and you’re not even having sex with her? Your willpower has always been impressive, but there are limits. That’s just a waste; as your master, I have to say I’m honestly disappointed. After the amount of effort you put into getting me drunk to avoid swearing the oath properly, at least take advantage of it.’

‘Keep your voice down! Anyway, let’s get out of here, OK?’

‘Is she available? And interested in elder gentleman, who, despite their age, may nevertheless possess a charm and vigour?’

‘I really don’t know! But probably not, I’ve never seen her with anyone that looked older.’ Vampires would be easier than this excruciating conversation, at least they could be stabbed.

‘Shame. Perhaps she could be convinced.’ He was running fingers through his beard, grooming it slightly.

‘Vampires first! Or at least getting out of here!’

A blue light washed out and illuminated the area, reliefs now picked out in unpleasant detail, dancing skeletons and writhing celebrants. A floating hazy mist appeared in front of Hakara, coalescing into lines and curves, forming a map. Although several areas refused to conform, staying as vague shifting blobs.

‘We seem to be quite far in. The presence of so many temples and shrines is throwing the spell off somewhat,’ she gestured at the haze, trying to make it settle down, ‘but I believe I can navigate us out of here. Although I cannot determine if there are any barriers, either of guards or vampires. Um, and should we encounter vampires, I don’t know how well equipped I am do deal with such things. Are they not immune to most attacks?’

Yeros and Stathis both shook their heads, Stathis letting Yeros answer. ‘They’re not as tough as they like to pretend. It is a challenge, but they can be defeated by mundane steel followed by fire. Although I would advise against getting close, as they are fearsomely strong, but they should be vulnerable to your spells. And I have a few tricks to even things up, should it be needed.’

Stathis agreed. ‘Hopefully Semari and Parth will catch up. Otherwise, can we at least try and get out of here? Dammit, I really wish I had my armour!’

‘Likewise. Nevertheless, we must persevere with what we have. Stathis, if you take point, and I’ll be rearguard and protect Hakara.’

They moved out, making swift progress through the silent hallways. It was endlessly twisting, curving hallways filled with dust and old bones, a few shining tokens atop crypts and grave-markers, likely protected by curses. Occasional shafts penetrated the ceiling, too small to climb up, but bringing fresh air down.

A sudden loud clang sounded ahead of them, shattering the silence. Stathis readied herself, slowly advancing, as Hakara softly incanted behind her, Yeros moving forward as well. There was another loud, metallic clang. Stathis stepped around a corner, ready to fight.

Semari was stood in a circular chamber, next to a large statue of a heroic warrior, posed mid-swing. She drew her hand back, smashing something metallic against the stone, another crashing sound echoing through the tunnels.

‘Hey, there you are!’ She dropped what she was holding, a dented metal helmet rolling away. ‘Thought if I made enough noise, you’d show up.’

‘Weren’t you worried about vampires, or guards?’

‘Nah, can always move up there.’ She pointed upwards – the chamber was a large cylinder, several balconies overlooking the space.

‘That’s not really an option for us. Any idea of the way out? And are you injured at all?’

‘Few scrapes, nothing major. Guards here are fast, tricksy bastards. No idea of how to get out though, this place is super-confusing.’

‘OK. Well, at least you’re here now. Watch out for vampires, let’s try and get out of here.’

They started moving again, following Hakara’s spell, trying to find their way back to the surface.