Requiem Mass was busy cleaning up the latest round of monsters to be hunted down. He kept counting to himself while muttering about how a billion more were needed in order to make some recipe. Honestly anytime Requiem opened his mouth I started to lose focus.

For three game days, we had been chasing down these zombie monkey creatures and chopping their tails off. My job was either to be bait or something similar. Nothing was working as I had hoped.

“Hold that one! Right now!” Requiem shouted. He pointed one hand at a middle ranked monkey. This one was slightly bigger than the others.

I gave in to the order. This wasn’t the type of thing worth fighting over anyway. Death by monster just meant finally returning to the Hermes body.

“Keep holding him!” The Traveler ordered. One of his hands slipped a sword into its holster and generated a giant trail of flame. It licked across the landscape and tore into the undead monkey I was grappling.

The heat felt warm and mildly pleasant. That was a change from Requiem’s normal idea of discipline. Messages of [Fire Immunity] rippled across my screen as the last of the flames passed and the monkey screamed loudly before collapsing.

“Another one!” Requiem pointed to our next target. These undead had no brains or they would run. “Hold that one! Right now!”

Some skirmishes were easier to find opportunities for Requiem’s murder than others. The system was tracking my attempts happily and the totals were getting high. I had defied him forty-six times. I had followed instructions erroneously sixteen times. Two direct attacks failed to succeed. Efforts to launch the shape-shifting [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] through his backside ended up as a nearly comical poke.

That event made me laugh myself silly and resulted in another beating. My [Red Imp] character did not have the acting chops of my primary one. Hermes could have probably dropped a tree on Requiem and gotten away with a single ‘oops’. That had worked for me within the resurrection zone.

Hours after our monkey fighting, Requiem settled down for sleep and left me with an order to gather herbs. For two game hours, I gathered plants from all over the area. There were stacks of badly uprooted plants that were about to be used in another virtual murder attempt.

Now they were being returned, in mass, all at once and over his stupid snoring face. Hopefully, he would breathe them in and choke. I was constantly trying to figure out the fine line on what the system allowed and didn’t.

“Mmfgh!” Requiem sat up spitting out a ton of small leaves. While he sputtered I dropped two more armfuls on his face from above. “What the, what is this?!”

“Herb forpotion things!” I shouted happily. Slowly these skills would pay off. [Identification] let me find a few poison plants to insert with my presents. “I gatheredthem, just like youordered!”

He ignored my shouts which meant my latest attempt had failed. The only consolation was that Requiem’s sleep was ruined. He put all the items into player inventory then collapsed with exhaustion. I was unsure why he didn’t log out to sleep like a normal person.

Eight hours of rest in-game was only two hours in the real world. His brain must be half broken to keep up that schedule for long. When I came back with a second mass of plants and threw them at his face the results were predictable. He sputtered and brushed off dirt, leaves, and other goo. Moments later I was ordered to stand in one place all night and not move.

Requiem refused to let my summons release for whatever reason. Still, his actions did me no harm. I logged out and went to sleep. Sticking around only increased my synchronization bar. Three in-game days had ground my bar up to fifty percent. The reward was neat.

Reward:

For reaching 50% Synchronization, you will gain further access to racial skills.

Unlocked!

Rank 2 synchronization – additional changes

[Blink] Racial skill developed

[Fire Resist] upgraded to [Flame Regeneration]

[Red Imp]s had proven amusing, except for the whole stumpy legs that were unable to dance. Humming still worked until Requiem ordered a cessation of the noise forever. The young Traveler seemed intent upon micromanaging me into oblivion.

On the plus side, three days of flying around in-game had improved my coordination with these wings. I was fairly confident in being able to avoid most tree trunks. Finer hairpin turns were still beyond me.

[Blink] was even neater and insanely hard to use. It would teleport me a short distance according to the text. There was no solid trigger at the moment. It wasn’t like I could shout ‘Blink!’ and change locations. The game relied heavily on mental imagery similar to [Morrigu’s Gift]. My few private attempts had awkwardly missed the target.

I refused to show [Blink] in front of Requiem Mass. That young man was driving me insane with his conniving attitude. The minute I showed any new skill he found a way to abuse it. [Fire Immunity] resulted in holding rotting monkeys with rectal problems while trying not to retch.

After a good rest, I loaded up my remote ARC display to see what was going on. Requiem was busy forcing my [Red Imp] avatar to lure in more undead monkeys. I found myself laughing around breakfast as the [Red Imp] stabbed monkeys out of decrepit trees right about Requiem's head. One, two, and finally twelve rotting monsters were brought down. The autopilot went quickly and tried to aggro the entire region.

Requiem just took it. I snickered to myself, finished the remaining food, and logged into my ARC. Something had shown in the side of my Continue Online remote display that required a personal touch. Maybe attempt thirty-eight at digital elimination would be effective.

Once inside I paused and spun around. Getting my bearings always took a moment. There was a specific area that had caught my attention.

“Imp!” Requiem was shouting at me while monkeys gibbered.

The realism in this game had taken weeks to get over. Even now they kept throwing new gross objects at me. These simians’ mouths were falling apart. Some had broken jaws. Others had mold-ridden tails and most had no control over their sphincters.

“What?” I shouted. Requiem Mass was to the left. Monsters were all around us. That meant my target was forward and right.

“Fight these monsters!” Requiem yelled.

“Yes, Requisite Ass! Right away!” I shouted while flying at high speed. I had no clue what the Traveler had ordered me to do.

There, just past a motley series of trees was my goal. A monstrous rotten ape that was hidden away. My unique remote view of the [Red Imp] had happened upon the boss level creature. The autopilot would never have noticed it.

“No! Fight these ones over here!” Requiem ordered me. He was busy shouting over the crazy monkeys' garbled chattering.

“When?” I shouted back with my high pitched imp body. It bought a few more seconds for this reckless idea. The boss giant ape thing was just through the wall of withered bushes. I lined up my pitchfork weapon.

“What is wrong with you?!” Requiem demanded. The answer was clear, a lot of things were wrong with me. “Now, of course! Now!”

I braced myself against the impending damage for insubordination. Now was far too absolute a word. The [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] elongated quickly and jabbed towards its target.

Ignored an Order

Total Damage: 18%

Pain tore at my neck. The monster I had poked also let loose its gurgled roar. A [Dazed] message appeared complete with an associated symbol. Next to that was a countdown. My tiny [Red Imp] mouth spewed forth a long line of words that had to be curses in demonic. I tried to flutter the tiny wings on my back and return to Requiem Mass.

The monster burst through the bushes behind me as I regained enough control to lift off. A small box appeared telling me exactly what I had stabbed.

Skill Used: [Identification] Results: The Biggest Butthole - Unique Rank : Extra Large Details:

He’s big. He’s hairy. He’s kind of a jerk. This monster will chew you up and crap you out because that’s the kind of creature he is…

“Ifound one!” I shouted while fluttering madly.

“No, you worthless idiot!” Requiem was waving his hands and a message popped up on my screen. I had managed to right my flying enough to speed at the Traveler. Behind me, branches cracked under the pressure of a thundering beast.

What was he doing? Things were going to be neat in just a moment! The Biggest Butthole was like two rotting [Snowmen] shoved together. Even I could handle that. Give or take whatever super powers a unique creature had.

Your summon status is being released.

“Nowait, thisone needs stabbings!” That wasn’t what I wanted at all! He was too far away. “Allthe stabbings!” The Biggest Butthole verses Requisite Ass would be a glorious fight to instigate. Who would win? Would Requiem be chewed up and spit out? These questions demanded answers.

“Nooo!” The scene in front of me swirled away in a wash of colors. Fine. I couldn’t win them all.

When everything synced up with the Hermes character I was in a town. I grumbled for a good ten minutes before sighing and letting the disappointment fade away. Now was the time to be positive. That latest attempt had been a good one. Plus the autopilot for Hermes had finally made it to a decently sized town!

This place was nothing like [Haven Valley]. My starter town from the Age of Carver had been scenic and peaceful. Here the buildings were far more militaristic in design. [Haven Valley] had small guard posts. This place had huge walls separating portions of the city. People in armor patrolled the tops of walls and were clearly equipped with swords and horns.

Shazam passed a hand in front of my face. I turned to look at her. Her arms waved around and she pointed to a few of the buildings nearby. I followed her gaze to a series of shops. Oh. She must be asking if I wanted to get anything.

“I need to visit a porter!” I shouted. Working with Requiem had warped my speech habits a little. Passersby looked at me oddly. Shazam nodded and our two [Caliburrr]s changed directions.

There were a lot of Travelers like myself running around. They all wore different items and pieces of equipment. There were a few that clearly followed warrior paths. I could make out some in decorative clothing that likely had no combat value. One lady was escorting a giant creature that looked like a wingless dragon. Its eyes had no focus.

I took it all in happily. Being in a city was so much better than the dead scenery of Requiem’s location. Everything there was either rotting or decrepit. His mind had to be warped to stand being there for months in game.

Oh! There was one issue far more important to me than Requiem’s silly problems. By now I should have a response from Xin. Hopefully. I scrambled to find the messenger’s tube. My channel to the Voices above was inside my leather chest piece. As I twisted off the top and peeked inside a system message popped into view.

Warning!

Consciousness Relocation in progress.

“Seriously? I hate you so much!” I shook my free fist at the system box. It did no good. “I don’t want to!”

People looked at me weird. I looked at my pop-up messages with confusion. The [Caliburr]s were probably winking at each other. Shazam didn’t bat an eyelash. Then pain rippled through me.

Summons resisted!

New skill created, [Resist Summons]

“What the?” My neck burned. I was in the Hermes character and pain was trying to send me to the ground. This character was not the [Red Imp]! The bar for my health dropped ten percent.

Shazam raised an eyebrow and pointed. I groaned as another wave of agony passed along with a summons resisted message. My fingers tried to pull out the parchment barely visible inside the messenger’s tube. Another bout of agony nearly knocked me out of the straps holding me on the [Caliburr]. Each wave was doing more damage. I shook and ground my teeth together while trying to read a few lines.

Gee,

Do you remember what my father said? He found so much about America strange and used to say ‘When in Rome, do as the Romans do’. This place isn’t Rome, Gee.

My eyes clenched tightly and I tried not to lose it. Gee. That was her name for me. It was Xin, it had to be her somehow. There was an insane wall of text to go through, but I held off on reading it as emotions racked through me.

I didn’t feel actual pain anymore. It was like those few lines had washed all the worry away and left behind euphoria. My eyes opened to read the remaining text. Only now there was no parchment, no messenger’s tube, no [Caliburr].

Chubby, reddened hands held a tight grip upon the blackened pitchfork. Requiem was snarling nearby. I started shaking and huffing. Never had I been more upset at another human being. There was so much more in that letter and it wasn’t in my chubby little hands!

“What the hell is wrong with you?” Requiem said. There were deader monkeys all around him. He was busy picking through bodies and tearing off pieces.

“Whatswrong with me? Me!” I broke and tried to stab him repeatedly with the [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift]. “I’ll kill you! I’ll killyou, youstupid self-centered little brat!”

“Little? That rich, coming from an imp.” He shook his head and stood there. “You can’t hurt me.” Each attempt at stabbings failed. My health kept falling. The pain was nothing against my sheer anger. “Stop that,” Requiem ordered.

I paused briefly to obey then drove the [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] at his face. It fell short by almost half a foot, but Requiem still flinched.

“How are you doing that?” He managed to regain control of his broken voice.

“Ido exactly asyou ordered.” Shouting it out loud sent a moment of clarity through me. I was only playing around with words and not truly using them to their fullest effect.

“For like, two seconds.” He stooped back down to work on gathering more loot items. I jammed the [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] at one of the deceased monkeys and tried my darnedest to ruin the items.

“Stop attacking me and go stand over there until I tell you to stop,” Requiem said while pointing a finger off to one side.

“It’s notmyfault you’re stupid,” I said. Jabbing him was clearly impossible. There was something to his question, though. Timeout was a good place to think. My mind ran through the rules again.

Rule one. I must do exactly as Requiem ordered. This one I had spent the better part of two real days playing around with. It was easy enough to bend this portion all up one side and down the other. If he didn’t add a duration to his order I could obey it for seconds or forever.

Rule two, I couldn’t lie to him. Most of the methods around this had involved clever wordplay with my answers. It was very hard to actually lie because Continue Online was making my [Red Imp] body say things too quickly.

Rule three was the problem. My issue was that I had been looking at it all wrong. His order had been to not directly harm him or conspire. I logged out of Continue briefly and left the [Red Imp]’s auto pilot running. In my Atrium, I shouted a command line.

“ARC, define conspire,” I told the machine.

“Conspire, make secret plans jointly to commit an unlawful or harmful act.” The machine answered.

I smiled. That was the answer. Requiem had prevented doing things in secret and directly harming him. If I worked with monster NPCs then that was conspiring. If I openly arranged accidents then it wasn’t a conspiracy. That’s why throwing a pile of leaves in his mouth worked but luring mobs to him caused pain.

Once back into Continue Online I turned around and stared at Requiem. He was trying to loot another monster. I whipped out the [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] at the bodies he was trying to skin. My suddenly extended pitchfork skewed one of the creature's eyes.

“Why do you insist on bending the rules? Do I not feed you enough cupcakes or something?” Requiem just rolled his eyes at my latest attempt to interfere.

“It’s notmyfault you’re stupid,” I said to him again. “Toostupid. I’m going, to get you, killed.”

That made Requiem stare at me. My wide grin all full of teeth must have disturbed him. He actually blanched. A moment later and the expression was gone as the Traveler studied me.

“How? You were ordered not to harm me.” Requiem sounded exactly like a spoiled teenage brat melting down.

“Hah!” I outright laughed and tried to give it my best imp tone. “Slow dumbbrain.” The synchronization bar constantly flipped up and down depending on how fast or slow I talked.

“I order you to tell me exactly how you plan to get me killed.” Requiem’s hand sat on one of his two swords. His other arm was inside a pocket grabbing at something.

“Say the rules forme, onemore time.” I chattered happily. Requiem went through the first two. My grin was even wider than normal when mocking the other Traveler. I took delight in seeing Requiem’s eyes widen as we both recited the last rule.

“You cannot harm me directly or conspire to harm me,” He said.

“Dingding ding!” I spun the pitchfork and planted it into the ground triumphantly. “Conspire is defined as secret plans jointly. Not asecret anymore! I want youtodie!”

[Progress Event]!

You have further clarified the contract between you and Requiem Mass! How you use this knowledge is up to you. Be aware [Red Imp] that your contractor now knows what you intend.

“What?” He asked.

“I, want, you, to, die.” I could understand why [Red Imp]s disliked slow people. Just this conversation was irritating me.

“You still can’t harm me directly.” Requiem curled his lips and lost color. I started laughing. This was a clear way to get to Requiem. “Why must you continue to argue with me, why can’t you do what I want?”

“There’s more tolife than the self-centered demands ofaboy such as yourself.” I bit each word out. This whole situation had pissed me off.

“You know nothing of what I’ve been through.” He said.

“You giveme no timetomy self.” I looked at him. Maybe Requiem would get so pissed that my summons would be released and this game would return to the Hermes program. Reading the remaining letter was important. Seeing a Porter would help me get a glitch reward and contact Beth in-game.

Requiem nodded slowly as his lips curled downward. The nodding quickly accelerated and he looked off to where The Biggest Butthole had been. “Fine. Let's try something different.”

Both eyes rolled so hard I almost passed out. The ground around me was completely gross and my legs were half sunk into it. This was the type of disgusting environment that Requiem had stuck me with for days.

“Stand here. Don’t move. At all. Do that and I’ll let you have a day off afterward. You spend it in hell hole you came from.” Requiem tilted his head and stared at me. “Deal?”

I smiled. This was a win-win for me. “Whynot? Sure.”

Requiem turned away. He clearly intended to put my [Red Imp] self in its place. I watched his actions happily. Whatever he planned would probably be neat. It would also show me how far he could go.

Where was he walking? That direction is where the unique mob The Biggest Butthole was. Did he intend on actually fighting the creature? Oh neat, Requiem totally did.

He pulled one of his seemingly endless supply of throwing knives and tossed it straight through the dead bushes towards The Biggest Butthole. Air vibrated as the creature let out a roar. I was far enough away that no daze notification popped up. Requiem didn’t seem to be impacted as he pulled back a bit.

Then things got really crazy. Normally only the blades in his hands had any sort of special effects. Requiem often used fire and the trail of ash that follow his right blade while fighting. Now there was a new effect, Requiem’s skin started to glow with a deep blue light.

The ability making him light up also increased Requiem's speed. He lifted the blade and parried one of The Biggest Butthole’s giant rotten fists. Small bits of skin flaked off into the mire around us. That wasn’t enough to stop the unique boss monster though. Another series of attacks were exchanged. With each swing of the giant creature's fists, Requiem would back up and parry away the blow.

It was working. I could see the health bar of the large creature dropping steadily. It was at ninety percent now and Requiem hadn’t even busted out any of his combat spells. The young man may be an abusive ass with the relationship skills of a bratty five-year-old, but he was damned good at the game.

I took notes and wondered if there was something to this two weapon fighting style. The Biggest Butthole lifted a fist and pounded down on the ground. Requiem leapt into the air as landscape rippled. He had an absurd four seconds of hang time which he spent charging up a chantless wave of flame.

His spells seemed to less effective than TinkerHell’s frost abilities. Maybe Requiem had a lower caster Rank or less skill. He was also generating the spells without using a circle or etched out [Lithium] runes. One day I would figure out this game's magic system.

Requiem had ordered me to stay in place. There were at least three chances to place objects for maximum slippage or accidental impalings. Not that any of my prior attempts had been successful.

The Biggest Butthole shouted and his arm bulged. It grossly bulked to at least fifty percent larger than normal. His fist swung quickly and caught Requiem Mass in his midsection and carried him around. They spun in a circle and I cackled happily seeing Requiem’s face turn green.

That monstrous arm carried Requiem right into the rotting trunk of a tree. Wood pieces shattered everywhere and Requiem’s health bar plummeted.

“Ahhhh!” All the air left his body in a rush.

“You’re doinga greatjob!” I happily encouraged him in getting hit. Maybe he got neat pop-up messages like I did. That latest slam could say ‘Shafted by The Biggest Butthole!’.

“Oh, this is nothing.” He muttered. “Nothing at…” His words were cut off by The Biggest Butthole raising both arms and roaring out. Requiem winced from the loud noise but seemed unfazed.

The giant, unique boss monster hurled nearby objects and Requiem dodged the first two. The third scraped his face. Requiem grinned and the aura about his body kicked up another notch. The blue light shifted from deep blue to azure.

Healthwise they were about even. I marveled at the small bits of the landscape being torn up. Pieces of The Biggest Butthole flaking off had made it over here along with chunks from broken trees. I stood there watching the fight with wide, excited eyes.

Requiem leapt up towards The Biggest Butthole and swung his blade. A trail of ash seared into the creature's face. It grasped at the Traveler but missed. Another roar sounded out as the boss monster tore at his face to try and clear away the obstructing flakes.

There. Requiem was ten feet away and actually chanting something. It sounded like the same [Lithium] language that TinkerHell had spoken. A small pop-up box dinged in front of me.

Demonical Racial Skill [Tongues] enabled

Translation in progress…

“Huh?” I said and poked at the air with one finger.

“Ghost of a dead sun! Shadow of a singularity!” Requiem shouted.

“Really?” I was horrified by the idea that [Lithium] spells were poetry in another language. I said a prayer above and hoped that was a silly translation issue.

“Draw all into your grasp! Let nothing escape!” Requiem continued his chant while doing a series of hand gestures.

Oh, Voices above, that was too much. I would rather have a box of crayons or use nothing but scrolls for the rest of my game life. I did not want to learn magic if reciting lame word strings would be required.

His two swords had been planted into the ground on either side during his chanting. Quickly he picked up the darker weapon that had been fairly unremarkable until now. I watched as the blue aura about him brightened and seemed to reach a sky blue peak.

All the extra blue energy compressed to his arms, then his hands, and finally up to the sword. His weapon was blazing brightly with the transferred energy.

Requiem charged at The Biggest Butthole, who was still clawing at its own face in outrage. The sword jab went straight into the air in front of the boss monster. As it pulled back the blue energy compressed even further until it was a drop of water on Requiem's withdrawing sword.

The Biggest Butthole cleared its vision just in time to stare crossed eyed at the small drop of water. It released from the sword tip and hovered there in wonder for a second before unleashing a pulse. Everything nearby was pushed back half an inch and then sucked inward.

My light body was no exception. I scrambled for the [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] which was digging into the ground. My tail tried to find extra purchase. Over my shoulder, I could see the two fighters both reacting very differently. Requiem was full on leaning backward against the sudden shift in gravity. The Biggest Butthole gave one large roar before his head was yanked into the bright blue water droplet of energy.

That jerk of a Traveler had a mini black hole spell. Everything drug towards the special move Requiem had unleashed for a few seconds before the pressure released. I dropped to the ground with a stutter. Sharp teeth bit into my lip and made me grunt. My tiny [Red Imp] kneecap felt like it was banged hard and the [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] had slapped me in the face.

“Neat.” I uttered a statement completely against the [Red Imp] personality. My synchronization bar dropped two percent because of it.

“Good. Most of it is still intact. Hopefully, it dropped something useful.” Requiem muttered. He looked exhausted beyond belief. I could see the health bar above his head was below half but not critical.

I tilted my head and stabbed the [Echo of Morrigu’s Gift] into the ground repeatedly. That mini black hole type move had torn The Biggest Butthole’s head completely off and left a small waft of smoke. The body stood for a moment before both of the monsters knees gave out and everything toppled over.

“Now do you understand? You can’t possibly kill me.” Requiem said while looking at me. This Traveler was far beyond both my [Red Imp] familiar self and the Hermes character. His super move was more impressive than William Carvers heroic slash.

I was playing the part of a sinister familiar out to get his master killed. This called for my best evil smile and proper [Red Imp] commentary. “You are tooslow andstupid.”

“How can you say that?” He asked.

“Now I know your weakness.” I had no clue what his weakness was. Requiem looked panicked for a moment and shoved his hand into a coat pocket. He did that motion a lot when the fight looked tough. Was there something in there?

The Traveler must have one more trump card up his sleeve. The question was, how could I use it against him to complete this silly quest?

“Get out of here.” Requiem waved a hand and the release of my summons started.