Being inside the ARC numbed most sensations from the physical body. My trip to the bathroom and the resulting relief told me that I had needed to go for quite some time. I fired up music and scarfed down some microwaved food. Ten minutes out here, forty inside the game.

One day I would learn the science behind how the Continue Online provided a time compression. There were a few theories, but Trillium hadn’t provided any public answers beyond ‘Magic’. I knew, from my excessive hours under their hulls, that a number of the parts read brain waves. Other pieces sent out sonar style pulses and other waves to muddle human senses. Maybe it was a hypnotic sensation?

The preset alarm went off. It was time to shove such silly questions aside and step back into the digital world. I laid back and tried to catch a glimpse of the ‘magic’ happening. My mind fuzzed out before anything became apparent. I only wondered because of this silly timed quest. There were roughly two days to get through the dungeon. After that was one more day to hike to [Broken Mountain Pass] and retain my [Messenger of the Voices] title.

And Dusk had led me into the depths of some strange Dungeon that I understood nothing of. Such thoughts kept me busy as I logged in, stepped through the Atrium and plopped back into my Continue Online avatar.

Almost immediately I was assaulted.

“Grant! What in the good god damn is this?” SheHulk was shaking me with one hand, a thin parchment in her other. My vision blurred as I tried to focus.

“What?” I chattered.

“Your autopilot gave me a quest!” She shook the paper some more.

I braced myself a bit better and tried to escape from her grip. Her character’s [Brawn] had to be insanely high compared to mine. The rattling back and forth continued another ten seconds while one of the other players said something. TinkerHell probably. It was hard to hear as my ears rang.

“We all got one!” Elane said.

“Mine’s an airplane!” Edward happily exclaimed and pointed towards the lake. A small piece of parchment was floating in the dark waters. “The distance was terrible, can I have another?”

“Can I see?” I put out a hand to the shorter woman. She grumbled and shoved the paper into my hands. The paper’s rough texture was familiar. Those edges, the ink style. This was one of the messages from up above. Had my autopilot fished these out of the tube?

And what did it say?

Quest: Help Hermes Haul Himself Here! Difficulty: Average (Timed) Details:

Hermes is on a mission, and part of this mission means making it to [Broken Mountain Pass]. He has roughly three days left to do so. Are you willing to assist Hermes through the dangers of [Grand World Crossroads (Lerter Region)]?

Warning! Total estimated walking distance towards destination will take over fifty-two hours.

Reward: Based upon assistance provided

Crud. My mission to make it through the Dungeon had somehow been altered slightly and shared with the other people. Why did my autopilot trust them at all? Elane I only knew through my sister and two terrible dates. These other two were beyond me. Plus it said that traveling from where I was now, to my destination, was basically an impossible feat.

A leftover Carver groan escaped me.

“Seriously, Grant? How did you do this? We’re not even in a party!” Elane asked. She looked upset and I backed up a few steps. The broken table from our second date had been caused by her. She had swung it at my head and managed to hit the wall instead.

“Ummm…” The first rule of NPC club was to not talk about NPC club. “It’s a weird skill I picked up.”

“Anything to do with that fancy title on your character sheet?” Edward asked with an amused twitch of his mustache.

“Maybe?” I had no idea if the [Messenger of the Voices] title was on my sheet or not. Inspecting my name was secondary to looking at all the abilities and Ranks I picked up.

“Neat trick, mate. Let’s have another.” Edward came over and jabbed me in the side with his elbow. “You got a quest for guessing women’s sizes? I can complete that one right now.”

“Seriously, Edward? What did I tell you about using that skill on me?” TinkerHell said. She held out her jeweled staff towards the man. His mustache twitched as he looked down his nose at it.

“I believe you said, don’t peek, then threw some rocks at me, and told me I’d wake up without my balls if I did it again. Then we had a fine afternoon…”

“Shut up!” Tink cut off whatever Edward had planned on saying.

“Oh god, Tink, not you too.” Elane started rubbing her forehead in exasperation. “I thought we made a rule about this.” The shield and mace were both put up so Elane didn’t make the same brilliant mistake I had with [Morrigu’s Gift].

“I was drunk.” Her defense was delivered with entirely too much cheer.

“I thought we made a rule about that too.” Elane said.

Meanwhile, my mind was busy trying to calculate the odds of success on a complete bailout. Maybe this whole question could be avoided by hauling over the bridge to the left then up that tunnel.

"Don't even think about it, Grant. I'm sure Liz would be more than happy to provide me your address." Elane was probably right, they were friends from somewhere. That was how Liz had hooked me up with Elane in the first place.

"I wasn't going to do anything." I said.

"I'll bet not, you're too chicken shit."

"Really, Elane?" I took some offense at that. Being polite was not the same as being 'chicken shit' by any definition.

"Really? You know you still haven't looked anyone in the eyes?" She retorted.

Oh. There was no defense against that statement. Looking people in the face was kind of awkward for me. It had been for years. My therapist had pointed it out to me and even provided a suggested fix. Look at people, and simply answer one question. What color are their eyes?

"Yeah. Still being a wounded puppy.” There was a series of items crashing to the ground. I could see Elane’s shoulder guards being removed. The rest of her armor stayed on. “I’ll bet you can't even tell me what color my eyes are.”

My mouth had a hard time answering that one. My normal mantra of not thinking about my responses too much was failing.

“Yeah. That’s what I thought. Tink, we’re done here." The armor vanished off of the ground, likely into Elane’s player inventory.

"Brown." I muttered.

"Try again." She said.

I shrugged. Her eyes had been brown during our few dates. The memory stuck with me after I mentioned it out loud. Why? Because brown was not the same color as Xin's. My response irked the short Spanish woman.

"I fucking hate you, Grant." Two terrible dates and Elane was a woman scorned. The whole attitude she seemed to carry, like I was the only person with problems, was starting to get to me.

"We haven't talked in over a year, Elane. Move on."

"That's rich, asking me to let go of things." Elane was up in my face with all the anger she could muster. I counted myself lucky that she hadn’t pulled out a chair from player inventory to swing at me.

"Excuse me, ladies." Edward spoke up. "Do we want to help with this quest? Or should we just go our separate ways?"

"I want to keep watching. I bet they have makeup sex on a rock." TinkerHell said with a smirk. What was with women in this game? Was there something about the digital landscape that let them remove mental filters from the real world?

"Disregarding your strange voyeuristic tendencies, I'm voting yes." Edward said while raising a finger in the air.

"SheHulk?" Tinkerhell had a hand out on the shorter woman's shoulder. I tried to remember my exercise questions, what color were TinkerHell’s eyes? Her eyes were green, and her face was freckled. There was more to the woman than just clothing, more than the items in her hands. Not just a robe, not just a jeweled staff, but an entire person. One possessing a gutter mind.

"Fine. We'll try to get you out." She turned away. Short hair, Elane had short hair in the game. How had I missed that? Her head turned my direction briefly before looking at the other male in our party. "You can stand in the back. Edward, scout us a way out."

"Right then, onward, upwards!" He practically skipped off across the way. I didn't have time to see his eyes. That ponce style mustache was rather all consuming when I looked at him.

There was finally time to look around now that SheHulk wasn't busy demanding answers. Dead monster remains were scattered all over. What had once been bright cores giving off a fiery glow were now dimmed to nearly nothing. Glowing moss and embers from dead monsters provided a small amount of light to see by.

This was a game right? I had seen nothing of loot or other such rewards. There was a pop up off to the side citing another [Cowardice] demonstration. That was an uncomfortable feeling. Maybe the system would change it to [Prudence] or something along those lines. William Carver would dive into combat, I still wasn't there. My consolation was a box that cited an increase in the [Tumble] skill and [Stagger Resistance]. Both were probably tied to falling downhill twice without breaking my neck.

Once again my preexisting experience with dancing in the ARC had helped. There had been no time to deliberately roll with that fall, so I must have done it automatically.

"This way ladies!" Edward yelled and waved further around the lake’s edge.

“After you, boss!” TinkerHell turned her lips up in a pixie like smile. I waited for the women to head off before whistling at Dusk, who was still playing down by the water and looking for more fish.

He turned and looked at me, then the others marching off, and took flight. Soon Dusk was perched on my shoulder and watching everyone as we walked. We were headed back into a dark portion of the dungeon again. None of the others seem bothered by the situation. Did they have some method of seeing in the dark? They used no torches. The ambient light from the cavern before had faded off into nothing.

“So how did you do it, Professor?” TinkerHell had drifted towards the back with me. We were maybe twenty feet behind the angry footsteps of Elane.

“I’m not a Professor.” I whispered back.

“No? SheHulk talks about you, said you…”

“Tink!”

“She! Hulk!” TinkerHell smiled. Her blonde locks were barely visible as we exited the light.

“Really, girl?”

“Would you believe she’s my sponsor?” TinkerHell sounded like she was smiling still. It was difficult to tell as everything faded into darkness.

We made it another ten minutes. My sheer fumbling in the darkness had caused SheHulk to hiss in annoyance more than once. I was trying desperately to use the wall as guidance. Dusk was doing his chirping thing ahead of me somewhere. It was pointless because of the noise Elane caused.

“Can you see?” TinkerHell risked whispering again.

I shook my head and then started to speak.

“Holy Bat Balls!” TinkerHell wasn’t trying to keep her volume low now. “Wait. SheHulk! I need to get your boy toy a scroll.”

“What?” SheHulk said.

“He’s totally blind.” The blonde sounded happy. There was a snapping of fingers in front of my face. I reached out and tried to shoo the hand away.

“You mean we’ve been going this slow, because he’s blind?” Elane responded. She was closer. Judging by her tone she was finding yet another reason to be angry with me. It reminded me far too much of HotPants aside from the differences in physical traits.

“Well you didn’t really ask did you?”

“Ladies, we got another pack up around the corner.” During our conversation Sir Twisty Mustache had returned. He joined in our whispering right away.

Something was shoved into my hand.

“Here, use this scroll.” The blonde said. Okay. That was not an easy order to follow. Scrolls were a mystery to me, along with most things magical.

“Hermes? You with us?” TinkerHell spoke again.

“He’s gone daft.” Edward chimed in with an equal amount of happiness.

“Come on, Grant. You’re holding us back.”

“I’ve never used a scroll.” Being with this party was destroying my happy place. They were constantly acting like I should know all sorts of things. Probably because they thought I had been playing for a while. Better clear that up quickly.

“Really, Mate?” Edward said from, somewhere.

“I’ve only been playing for two weeks real time.” I said quietly. There was a round of confusion, half gasps, and a snicker.

“Really, Grant, really?”

“Yes, Elane. Is there a problem, Elane?” I snapped back. We weren’t drinking, I was sort of recovered and no longer the same moping person she had experienced. My armor polishing skills were coming along nicely and my doctor had issued me a certificate saying I was no longer a danger to myself. Why should this stuff just slide by me?

“I’ll kick you in your balls if you don’t knock it off.”

“Girl, you sort of brought this on yourself.” TinkerHell stepped in. I heard Edward give a roguish imitation of ‘you go girl’ noises in the back ground.

“Don’t even start.” Elane said.

“Look, I’ll deal with Hermes, you go set up with Edward, and give us two minutes.” There was a rustle in the darkness as TinkerHell did, something. SheHulk was soon wandering down the hallway grumbling at me. Mustache had left too, I think.

"Okay, crash course in scrolls. There's two ways, one’s reading, one’s using an ignition symbol. Go ahead and unroll it, there should be a glow on the top right." TinkerHell was close by, near my shoulder if I were to guess based on her voice. It was a bit too near.

The scroll unrolled easily. It was about six inches on each side. Sure enough, on the top right, a small symbol that looked similar to an S glowed a dancing orange. I really regretted not making it to that cave with Awesome Jr. and SweetPea. Carver would have been a bit too conspicuous huffing up the hill. Still, gaining that [Mana Sense] trait would have been worthwhile.

"How?" I asked.

"Thumb on the light, from your dominant hand, twist it counter-clockwise. The game will register your intent." There was a pause in her explanation. "Unless you can read Lithium?"

"Lithium? Like the battery?" That was a weird name for language of magic. I put one finger on the symbol and had to think about which way counter clockwise was.

I was assuming at this point. Admitting there were things I didn't know bothered me. Especially after all my insider time as William Carver. Four weeks of being a man who knew everything had brain washed me.

"Just like the battery. If we have time I’ll explain more. For now, twist your thumb." She placed a hand on my arm and it made me jump. I took a few breaths, remembered my four count tempo and positioned my feet to start a dance. The habitual calming exercises worked and I turned my hand the right way.

Knowledge Gained!

Information about [Lithium] has been added to your journal. Due to high [Wisdom] and prior insider knowledge you will receive a bonus to [Learning]. Learning + 2

System Help

[Learning] represents the sum of information gathered within the world. It can influence the data recorded by your Journal. Learning will directly impact your ability to gain technical skills.

Light spilled from the first symbol to the second, then third. Soon an entire chain lit up on the paper with that dancing glow. It was like watching a series of dominoes fall down, only instead of dots or English letters, these were lined with shapes and runes. All of them squiggles that made no sense.

"Almost now." TinkerHell said. Reflexively I started to turn towards her voice. "Focus on the paper." My eyes hastily righted themselves.

The glowing letter chain reached the page’s end. Each item connected to the next. All of them flashed at once like a light bulb giving one last gasp. Soon there was nothing on the page. I turned it around and looked at the back, the sides, and tried to understand. Soon the parchment itself crumbled completely.

Odd. Now there was a visible mana bar. This one spell hadn’t taken that much to cast, or whatever it was called when a player used the scroll.

"How's your vision?" TinkerHell asked. I turned and looked at her face, she wasn't more than two feet away and smiling again. Green eyes.

Spell: Night vision activated! Increased perception in unlit areas

Percentage of normal vision: 60%

“Good.” I managed to get the word out even though my mind mostly blanked. My confusion came from having a woman close to me, voluntary, outside of work.

“You ready to go?”

“Uhhh…” For what? Oh. Right. The others were up ahead of us somewhere setting up.

“You don’t have any clue how to work in a party?” She asked.

My ideas were vague at best. Sure, I could sit in the back and let the other players do the work. The last party event my job had been to stay in the back until threatened. At that time, my body had been crippled by nearsightedness and simulated aches. What would the real Carver do? Charge and swing the blade!

“No. What should I do?” I asked a question of my own.

“What’s your play style?” She was still smiling, still close. Both her hands were resting on the jeweled staff near her face. I stood with both hands on top of [Morrigu’s Gift], which was currently in cane form.

“A trainer in town showed me how to swing a two handed blade.” I muttered.

“We can work with that. Is it a long sword?”

“More like an outrageous cartoon one.” Carver’s blade was this giant thing that looked more like an elongated razor than any classic sword. Many such weapons had lined video games of my youth.

“Seriously? You’re not compensating are you? Because SheHulk said…” My panicked expression was enough for her to stop the teasing. I scratched a cheek while she kept the smile up.

“It was a gift.”

“Can I see it?” I tried to ignore her double entendre. Everything was amazingly clear now compared to my prior situation. Dusk was hopping around on the ground and kicking pebbles with each leap.

[Morrigu’s Gift] sat in my hand. My fingers grasped around its top, the same as they had during the Age of Carver. The polished feel of wood felt comforting. Still, my last use of this blade involved killing two very realistic constructs. Monsters, NPCs, game generated AIs, low IQ, still lifelike.

“Not used to it yet?” She asked.

“No. Not really. Is anyone?”

“Some adapt quicker than others, some grow to love it. My advice? Don’t push yourself, if you can’t handle it, go back to the cities and pick up a trade skill.” She had one hand out on my shoulder. Her fingers seemed so thin.

“It’s just a game though. I shouldn’t be afraid in here.” I muttered. There had been just enough time and shock to disassociate with Williams world view.

“Fear's natural. It’s what we do that counts. Sit back if you need to.” Her advice was good. None of it was new to me, but there’s a vast difference between reading some words and living them.

“Tink!” Elane shouted. “They spotted us!”

“On my way!” She was still looking at me with an unblinking gaze. That smile was too much. She was too nice, her and those deep green eyes. “Hermes, do what you need to. No one has any right to think less of you. Not everyone is a fighter.”

TinkerHell dashed off. Her robes fluttered as feet clicked along the ground. Dusk was caught up in the chase and followed her around the corner towards adventure.

Her words sent my mind reeling. William was a fighter. I wanted to be. I should be. I was also the man who had given up twice on life. Had this unreasonable fear of life started with Xin’s passing? The false happiness for customers? Working myself in a coma? Falling out contact with friends?

Maybe.

I was better now. There was a certificate in my house to prove it.

Childhood had raised me on tales of heroism and televised greatness. Each moment in Continue was a chance to be my own hero. Sitting here tearing myself apart with questions of character was squandering those opportunities.

Robert Frost’s Poem about The Road Not Taken. Invidious. Roosevelt’s speech of The Man in the Arena. Carver had been alive, even in those last moments he had been struggling to overcome the odds. Maybe diving in without thought was impossible. Maybe I would always hesitate. I was no William Carver. But I wanted to be.

I wanted to be.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel both. Down one path lead the coward’s route. Continue had presented me such feedback already. Alternately I could try to be like William. To be a man who would fight to live with every breath, even here in the digital world.

Sounds of battle echoed down the cavern. Edward was giving his blow by blow and status updates. Screams of ‘Critical Strike’ and ‘Dodge’ accompanied Elane’s resounding smash of metal against objects. Under it all was Tink’s chanting.

I stood up. One hand shook uncontrollably. In the other was a long blade that felt amazingly light. That hand did not shake. It sat there, calmly, sword digging into the ground much as Carver’s Cane might. There was comforting warmth in the hilt.

This time, if I swung this sword, it would be deliberate and as myself. With no vision impairment or confusion about whose skin I resided in. With no sleep deprivation and fear for my life.

TinkerHell’s chanting grew louder. Elane shouted something that was muffled and undefinable. Both my hands went to the blade’s hilt as their noises filled the air.

I ran, blade in hand, before hesitation could grip me. My feet pounded down the cave path announcing my arrival to the battle. Around the last corner were the three other Travelers. Their stances and layout similar to what I had seen before.

The enemies were numerous. Many lay strewn about a large cavern. There were three exits aside from my entrance. Creatures came in from all directions.

“Grant! We’re in a bad place!” Elane shouted as I ran past. [Morrigu’s Gift] was held up high. I twirled past the shield tried to remember what Peg Hall had shown me.

There were more of the opal golems. TinkerHell had called them [Gobbler]s. Monsters. These weren't human and that made it immensely easier. Never mind their block carved heads and arms.

"Epic dodge!" Edward happily commented.

Two handed weapons required clearance. They required knowledge of how far away the enemy was. Years of dance helped me understand footwork. Paired practice helped me understand moving around other objects in tandem with myself. Momentum, speed, all of it clicked as I took distance from Edward’s antics.

And I swung.

Health bars were ignored as creatures shattered about me. Elane and the others had really softened this latest batch up. I was just cleaving through chunks of enemy. I swung again. Edward’s voice was high pitched and protesting. Elane was yelling. TinkerHell sent bolts of cold through the air with each shout of gibberish.

This was me trying to strive valiantly. I would not be with those cold and timid souls. Another swing cleared out two more of the monsters. [Morrigu's Gift] spun in my hand and came down abruptly upon one of the bisected remains. Making them into two pieces wasn't enough to end their lives.

"Another wave! These ones are tougher!"

The other three simply adapted around my nonsense dancing. Most of my actions were around the edges. Only Edward was brave enough step into the inner circle.

"Hah!" He declared. "Too slow!"

"Line them up!" SheHulk yelled. "Grant! Push them towards the center!"

I nodded. My brain was still on its rant while muscle memory carried me around. It was much the same as my night dances. Thought was there, but wasn't. Thought without thought. Everything was on autopilot. [Morrigu's Gift] hit another gobbler so hard that it crashed into two behind it. I kept spinning as rocks chipped my backside.

Blind Spot Hit. Damage Increase

Total Health Lost: 60%

For the last year I held myself still. Stuck to a routine and tried not to think too deeply about anything. As if keeping a pattern would hold me together. Anger, sadness, all of it twisted my life for years. Today, tonight, here in this game I would try to live again. This was me taking back control, one glorious swing at a time. I was choosing to fight and that made all the difference.

Dusk was somewhere. He tore into small broken limbs of the glowing monsters. Fingers and hands were wrestled down. His squawks were background noise like TinkerHell's chanting.

"Twenty percent left!" The blonde happily informed us all. Edward and her seemed so happy. Only Elane seemed upset at all. Her hair was matted from sweat and her teeth ground together.

"Are you having fun?" Edward was nearby taking a breather. He sat in a small spot I managed to carve out with the giant blade. How he snuck past all my maniacal swinging was beyond me.

Both my hands stayed on the two handed weapon. I didn't trust myself to speak or act without a firm grip.

"Well, if humming is an answer, then I'd say yes. Good lad. Let’s clear some more." Edward drew in close as more of the orange glowing creatures came in. The name [Gobbler] felt wrong somehow.

"What is he humming?" One of the women asked.

"I can't tell." Edward leapt back out and drew his claws across the hind quarters of another two [Gobbler]s. One of them clipped his head in passing and the roguish man faltered for a moment. His foot slipped and he managed get a hand down on the ground.

I swung [Morrigu's gift] at the heads of those monsters around him. The blade was strong enough to cut into the first one and sent a sliced head into a second. They jangled around for a moment before toppling. Edward didn't have time to give thanks, he kept on going.

"What the hell are you humming, Grant!" Elane shouted. Her shield looked worn down. The shine was nearly gone and what had once been a clearly etched sun seemed to be bent out of proportion.

"Grant!" She yelled again.

"Clear the middle!" TinkerHell spoke right over Elane.

"As you say, ladies!" Edward ran by and grabbed my wildly swinging self by the shoulder. His momentum caused us to tumble towards the left wall. I scrambled to stand up but failed.

One large blast surged through the room. Air dipped in temperature and chill shot across my face. Rocks grew permafrost. Edward lost his smile and gave one single irritated twitch of his mustache. The wave of cold swung into the far wall leaving a nearly solid ring of blue.

It shook me out of the moment. My dance tunes fell from my head and everything narrowed to the aftermath.

Statues stood in the room, rigid and lifeless. Health bars displayed above their heads as either gone or nearly empty. Elane peeked out from behind her shield and grumbled some more. Soon she was stepping forward, still tired looking, still ragged with sweat even in this cold. With each footfall the tower shield in her hands bashed against a frozen enemy.

Edward was up and looking around. He picked over fallen monsters and portions of their bodies disappeared. Soon the room was strangely free of enemies.

"We clear?" TinkerHell had managed to barely hold onto her smile.

"Think so." Elane said. "Edward? How's it look?"

"Like pure gold."

"Count it up. Make sure Grant gets a share." She waved one hand in my direction.

"Yeah. Good job, Hermes." TinkerHell said. She fell to the ground and just laid there.

Acknowledgement received

Respect +3

At the end, pieces of monsters and rubble lay around us. TinkerHell lay collapsed on the floor and SheHulk was grumbling while bandaging wounds. Edward cheerfully announced all the skill increases he received. I myself felt conflicted with both exhaustion and elation.

"What the heck were you humming?" Elane asked again. Her cleanup was complete. One arm hung over the shield as she recovered from the battle.

"I don’t know.” Something catchy. Something filled with bangs and explosions. It was probably a symphony from ages ago. The beat helped me move, helped me zone out just a little from the violence.

Notice!

The Voices have shown interest in your increased desire to perform and will update their opinion of you.

If only you had performed this well on your Trials. - James

Attention!

You have successfully fought creatures above your Path Rank! Combat Results favorable. Character profile being updated!

+3 Brawn

+4 Coordination

+2 Reaction

+1 Limberness

Notice!

Skill Merger Demonstrated. Skills merged: [Dance], [Dance (Paired, Ballroom Step)], [Weapon Focus (Bladed, Large Two Handed)],

Results: Rank One Blade Dancer Path Unlocked!

Path Complexity: Medium

Rank One Unlock –

Increased ability to handle large weapons

Added damage when a song is playing

Added damage for each follower of a Dancer Path in combat

Increased effectiveness to all skills involving [Dance]

Boxes hung off to the side of my screen. They were the only thing that separated this game from what was real. That was their function and I had utterly disregarded them during combat. Even now, there were so many pointless pieces of text being displayed. Skills went up, stats went up, but none really mattered. I flicked them away, even one about a [Battle Hum].

What did that say about me? That I didn’t care about all the system messages? This, game, wasn’t about the game. It was about trying to make something of myself here in another world. One free of what I was in the past.

This was my first deliberate step in a long, long time.