So tired

I hit the bed after another mind-numbing day as a corporate drone.

This is not how I had envisioned life when I was a kid. I had even promised myself not to end up working for a big corporation. I succeeded. Instead, I got hired by a small company… that obviously rented me to this big soulless corp as an underpaid consultant. Some djinn must have heard my wish and decided to fuck me over. Thanks, djinn.

My name is Allen Smith, a software developer. I’m only 30 years old and I’m already so existentially numbed that I can barely feel any joy or sadness anymore. Except for anger… that one is just impossible to get rid of. My job involves a lot of swearing and frustration. I used to try out many hobbies like drawing and cooking when I was younger, but now my enthusiasm for doing anything has been smashed flat to the ground. At least I’ve polished my sarcasm and cynicism to the maximum, I guess.

I closed my eyes and muttered complaints as I started dozing off.

I had a nightmare, some long-limbed humanoid monster with no face was chasing me, but I was just too numbed to be scared. I stopped running and turned toward the creature, giving it a good wage-slave soul-dead stare, as I stood my ground. It stopped and we engaged in a staring contest. After an interminable amount of time of staring at that creepy faceless glare, the monster just turned around and walked away.

Well, that was anti-climatic.

Is this the power of the corporate machine? Honestly, even facing a nightmare feels more fun and pleasurable than sitting at the office, repeating the same day, over and over and over and over and over.

Can’t I even feel alive with a good scare anymore? Perhaps it was time to quit my job. An option I’ve considered many times, but… that sounds like losing.

Wait… this is a dream.

I slumped down staring at the gloomy darkness of my dreamscape. All was dim and lifeless. Yeah, what great sight. Couldn’t I have dreamed some scantily dressed ladies instead?

That’s when the scenery dissipated like smoke, leaving me in a noisy gray emptiness.

A resounding voice spoke.

「???: You look bored.」

「Allen: Ehh, who is this?」

「???: I am the Creator.」

「Allen: Uh?」

Am I about to have a prophetic dream ?

「Creator: Are you interested in beta testing an alternative reality?」

「Allen: What?」

Have I been run over by a truck while I was sleeping? I tried turning around to see the source of the voice, but there was just noise and I had no actual body.

「Creator: I’ve been gathering ideas from this world and I want some feedback.」

「Allen: Is this going to be like that dream I had last time, where I was learning magic in a fantasy land… and then I woke up?」

「Creator: Oh no, this is a completely self-consistent simulation, just like the one you live in!」

「Allen: I mean, I really liked how my subconscious felt the need to completely destroy my hopes, by giving me multiple false awakenings…」

「Creator: …」

「Allen: …and wow, each one in increasingly more realistic and depressing realities! I mean, who wouldn’t feel thrilled of waking up alone, in darkness, inside a dirty bathtub or finding my brother nearby having a seizure or-」

I felt a heavy pressure on my whole being, so I stopped blathering.

Okay Allen, let’s just humor this dream Creator character. What could go wrong?

「Creator: …」

「Allen: Uh… well I guess why not, it’s not like my hopes can get more crushed than this.」

「Creator: Excellent! Let’s begin!」

Just like that? No intro about my great fate as a hero? What about cheat skills and stuff?

「Allen: Wai-」

All went white.

I woke up with a start.

I shielded my eyes from the daylight as my vision cleared.

Around me was an unfamiliar environment. I was lying on a patch of grass surrounded by trees and vegetation. I tried turning my head to the side to see more, but I couldn't. No wait... what's this? I managed to move my hands upward. Streaks of dirt trailed down.

I was embedded in the fucking ground! What the fuck.

「Allen: Ugh...」

It took a good minute of struggling to dislodge myself from the soil. I stood up, brushing the dirt from my pajamas, and I took a look around. There was a dirt road close by.

「Allen: Huh…」

I looked back at my silhouette carved on the ground. Is that a joke or a biblical reference?

Ah, I see, this must be another dream. I checked my body, it was pretty convincing. I tried to fly as I’m used to doing in my dreams, but I remained firmly stuck on the ground. I tried the proven and trusty reality check of pinching my nose and breathing through it. I couldn’t do it.

「Allen: Good job Creator, I’m almost convinced.」

No reply came.

Have I really been transported to another world?

I felt my heart racing as the question crossed my mind.

I ran along the beaten path and I started sweating and wheezing. This is too damn realistic. Shit… I really am in another world!

Is this going to be like one of those lame isekai novels I’ve read on the internet?

Let’s try something.

「Allen: Status window?」

Nothing.

「Allen: Show stats?」

Nothing.

I tried visualizing game menus and shit like that. No chance… I guess this is not a world like those.

Resigned, I just kept walking along the path, until I reached a small village contoured by farms. There were villagers going about their works.

I walked toward the closest man and tried to strike a conversation.

「Allen: Hello.」

「Man: Khat?」

「Allen: Uh? What did you just say?」

「Man: Lakna arstei?」

Fuck, he’s not speaking my language! Of course, what was I expecting? To be granted magical knowledge of languages? Ha ha, too easy.

Well, let’s look at the silver lining.

I’m in another world… with just my fucking pajamas!

No money, no food, no knowledge of the local language, no nothing.

Just fucking great.