Chapter 161 - Ally of Justice 4

The Same Day

Noon

Theo's Office Building

Theo silently sat behind the fancy desk of his office that he rarely ever used.

It's been only a single day since the end of his comatosed state, yet his stress levels was off the charts.

While the sight of his 2 children has done wonders to his blood pressure, Juno's revelation was both a kick to the balls and a sledgehammer to the head.

He understood what Juno was trying to do.

Magic was an unstable substance that was easily affected by the belief of the collective subconscious.

Juno was forcefully making Theo an actual God by planting the seeds of 'Theo is the Machine God' and the 'Machine God is an actual God' to the psyche of as many people as she could.

And in the age of the internet, this was surprisingly easy to pull off.

Juno was making sure that Theo was strong enough for 2 major events in the future: World War 3 and the conflict with Mary Sue.

Whether battle against Mary Sue was inevitable or not was up for debate.

He also was not against the idea of Godhood. It was going to be an interesting experience to say the very least.

However, he did have 1 minor gripe and 1 major discomfort about all of this.

The minor gripe was that he wanted to discover his own source of immortality.

He wanted his ascension into the realm of the gods was by his human hands alone, and not through some magical mumbo jumbo that he could barely understand.

Call it illogical pride if you must.

The major discomfort stemmed from Juno herself.

He once thought that he has grown accustomed to his yandere waifu's yandereness, but the revelation that he was the target of a 50000 years old obsession has made him question his life choices.

One of the Ecclesiarchy's most important teaching stated: "Thou shall not stick thine dick in crazy."

What suffering did the great founders of the Ecclesiarchy had to endure when they learned said lesson the hard way.

Theo did not heed their warnings.

Now he must suffer through the same fate.

He would have loved to spend time carefully weighing his options, but there was no rest for the wicked.

As stated yesterday by Pani, Theo had a meeting with representatives from the Ecclesiarchy, the Volsung Norscan Caln and the Yagyu Samurais.

He understood why the Ecclesiarchy and the Yagyus wanted to meet with him. It has something to do with the Eldorado incident.

But why was the Volsung here?

He hasn't heard from them in quite some time.

While Theo was mulling over the reason for this sudden meeting, Pani entered the room and interrupted his thoughts.

"Report: All parties are present in conference room 3." said Pani in her usual monotone voice before immediately leaving.

Theo couldn't help but sigh at another unexpected headache.

Pani was currently pouting.

Earlier today, he called a meeting with his wives to discuss Juno's revelation.

While Theo was fine letting the girls know everything, Juno refused to give Pani any info.

Pani was constantly connected to a massive mental network linked to Jabir ibn Hayyan and his many clones.

As Juno had no interactions with Jabir, she was uncomfortable with the idea that some unknown guy was listening in through Pani.

The only people she trusted with her past was Theo and Nichola, though this was mostly because of her deep connection with the 2 during her past life.

Juno's bluntly told Pani 'I dont trust you because of that network of yours', and it went without saying than the chocolate waifu's feelings were hurt.

Theo did his best to placate Pani, but his efforts seemed to have been in vain.

For now, all he could do was wait until she calmed down.

Theo holstered a Berreta M9 pistol and went to the conference room meet his visitors.

The Yagyu group comprised of 3 samurai bodyguards, the pretty samurai girl he fought in Eldorado and a scary looking samurai grandma.

The Volsung Norscans was composed of 2 hulking bodyguards that joined Theo during the raid the hunt for the Sway twins. Aside from them, there was a long haired blonde teenage girl with unnatural Juno level beauty.

For some reason, Theo's instincts were telling him to run from the girl.

The third group was an unfamiliar. They were 3 MIBs of varying ages.

The Ecclesiarchy's representative was someone Theo knew very well.

"Pastor Biajo! It's been too long!" said Theo as the 2 bro hugged.

"My perverted brother from another mother. It's good to see you again." replied Biajo.

"To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?"

"Come now. Why else would the great Pimp Pastor pay you a visit?"

"Oho! Is it time?! Is it really time?!"

"I'd love to give you the big reveal, but sadly, it's related to why the suspicious MIBs are here. Better let them do the talking."

The MIBs were none to pleased with Pastor Biajo's introduction but decided to hold their silence.

"I'll save you guys for last. I've got a gut feeling that whatever you're going to tell me, its going to be a long one." said Theo.

"Of course Mr. Lorne. Take your time." said the fat old MIB.

Theo turned to the Volsung Norscans who were uncharacteristically formal.

"Jarl Lorne. It is good to see you again." said one of the bodyguards.

Immediately, Theo knew something was off.

While he was only with them for a short time, he very well knew that these guys were some of the most vulgar people he has ever had the pleasure of meeting.

In short, they were people he'd get along extremely well with.

The only way they'd become so stiff was out of intense fear.

But more importantly...

"Jarl?! Me?! When did that happen?!" exclaimed Theo.

"You won 2 ritual combats against the inheritors of the Volsung throne. And following Norscan tradition, you keep what you kill. As such, you are now the next in line to the Volsung throne." replied the bodyguard.

Theo was in disbelief.

He already has the thing with Juno, now he has the Vulsong to deal with?!

And before he could even ponder if he should make good on his desire on unleashing genocide upon a civilization that centered around raiding....

"Jarl Gwydurd has really changed the clan. For one, the Volsung have relocated from the Norscan Isles to the domain of Lord Nosferatu."

"For real?! Isn't that against the will of your ancestors or something?"

"A lot of us initial thought so. But when we settled in our new home, we realized why our ancestors guided us away from Norsca. The old ways has kept us weak. The prey we had back then were nothing more than civilians that can barely defend themselves. But now, our enemies truly test our might. Vampires, werewolves, dragons, zombies and foreign warriors of exceptional skill among many others. There is no shortage of powerful enemies to fight. It seems that the Volsung is entering a new golden age."

The Norscan girl lightly coughed, causing the bodyguards to stiffen in fear.

"A-anyways, as the next in line to the Volsung throne, you are required to start a bloodline with an oracle who's lineage can be traced back to the age of the gods. This girl is one of them" said the bodyguard.

If Juno was the definition of the perfect feminine body, this girl was lust in physical form. Large breasts, child bearing hips and an aura of eroticism.

"~Hi~ My name is Vanadis. Let's fuck later, yeah?" said the girl in a friendly manner as she flaunted her womanly gifts.

Now that Theo was in front of the girl named Vanadis, he finally understood why he was sensing danger.

In an instinctive level, he understood that Vanadis was a being of a higher plane of existence.

He has felt this once before.

Before he could reach for his pistol, Vanadis forced a back breaking hug on him.

"We haven't seen each other for a long time you know? Let's keep it civil shall we?" whispered Vanadis in a serious manner.

"Tch. Freyja." Theo whispered back as he tried to squirm out of Vanadis' steel like arms.

"This body may only be an avatar, but its still more powerful than a normal human like you."

True enough, her arms wouldn't budge no matter how much force Theo exerted.

He could only sigh in defeat and pray that Freyja/Vanadis could be reasoned with.

"What do you want?" asked Theo.

"I guess you're still going to say no to becoming my Eienherjar, right?"

"After the whole valkyrie incident and the current headache you're giving me? It should be obvious."

"*sigh*.... A shame. A person cannot be forced to become an Eienherjar. Said person has to desire it to become one."

"Well, I don't desire it one bit. Go pester someone else."

"No can do. My womanly pride took quite a hit from your rejection. And since the Eienherjar path is not available, becoming your mortal wife will have to do. It wont affect my true body and I'll get to have you. Not a bad idea if I say so myself."

"And if I refuse?"

"I know how careful you are in avoiding the ire of nations.... but what do you think of incurring the wrath of a god?" whispered Vanadis in a manner that sent chills up and down Theo's spine.

Vanadis gave Theo a deep kiss before letting him go.

"I wont be satisfied unless we have, like, 10 kids you hear? I have high hopes for you hubby!" said Vanadis with her slutty mask back on.

The bodyguards could do nothing but give Theo a look of condolence.

"Great! Just freaking great! I wanted a harem, but I sure hell didn't want to be blackmailed into one!"

Theo sighed internally as he made a mental note to find a way to make Freyja pay.

He'll have to get Juno's advice on that front.

For now, he went to the scary samurai grandma.

"You seem to have some unpleasant history with the Norscans, boy." said the Samurai Grandma while throwing the slutty Vanadis a look filled with unflattering thoughts.

"Please... I have so much crap on my plate right now ... Let's just get on with business shall we?" said Theo.

Samurai Grandma approached him and whispered to his ear.

"You may not know this, but you were marked by a chi based ability the moment you killed my brother, Suichiro Yagyu, last month."

Theo stiffened in fear.

"Oh do not misunderstand. We did not come here to take revenge or anything." said Samurai Grandma as she moved away from him. "He died while testing you if you were worthy of joining the Yagyu clan. It was his fault for underestimating his opponent."

"You know that I had help right?" said Theo in full bullshit mode.

"The Machine God? That is not a problem. Remember that second form he transformed into? That was an ability given to the Yagyu's most competent members by our god, Kamaitachi."

"I see.... So, what do you want from me?" asked Theo who prayed that this wont go the whole marriage route.

"You already rejected our offer so we wont force you to do anything. However, we would like you to at least recuperate some of the damage you did to the Yagyu Clan." said Samurai Grandma as she beckoned the Samurai Girl. "This is my grandniece Himiko Yagyu. I'm sure you two are acquainted."

"Nice to meet you." said Samurai Girl Himiko without hiding her clear hate for Theo.

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance." replied Theo with his best poker face on full blast.

It was natural for Himiko to hate his guts. He did kill quite a few of her friends.

"I, Yomi Yagyu, formally request Theodore Lorne to train Himiko Yagyu in the art of combat." said Samurai Grandma, much to Theo's confusion.

"Er... You know I'm a gunman right?"

"Yes. But what we require is not combat techniques, but the heart of a combatant. What did you feel when you were fighting the Tenjou group? Be honest."

"The incredible teleporting archer chick aside, they were mostly subpar. I'll never understand why they were an A ranked superhero group. Though that's probably because of the archer chick."

Himiko's death glare was burning a hole through Theo's face.

He could have lied, but he had a feeling that Samurai Grandma would see through it.

"There you go. With the loss of our most powerful member and the pathetic softness of our current generation, we needed at least one that is somewhat competent to lead the clan." said Samurai Grandma. "And seeing how our love for our children has resulted on us unable to be harsh when needed, we request the most competent Yagyu joiner candidate to take responsibility and make a proper warrior out of her."

"Let me guess.... I have no right to refuse?"

"Of course you can refuse. Though we might make you take responsibility in a more 'violent' manner. And I think you have enough trouble as it is. Am I correct?"

Theo groaned internally.

Truth be told, he has so much crap to deal with right now. The last thing he wanted was another enemy.

"And what is my guarantee that Samurai Girl wont just try to kill me during her training?" asked Theo

"A good question. While us Yagyu's love are children very much, we don't care what happens to everyone else. If you were to come into any harm under little Himiko's watch, her boyfriend Mr. Tenjou will be 'disposed off'."

For the first time since this hole meeting began, Samurai Girl's expression changed from a death glare to a face filled with fear.

"Oh, and just to clarify, if you do refuse this offer, Mr. Tenjou will lose his usefulness and will be executed for being such a bad influence on Himiko." added Samurai Grandma.

This time, Samurai Girl was desperately begging Theo with her eyes.

Theo was impressed of Samurai Grandma. She knew her mental torture quite well.

"You drive a hard bargain. Very well, I accept your conditions." said Theo.

"Thank you dear. We will drop off Himiko once we finish the bureaucracy back home. For now, we leave you to your multitude of problems." said Samurai Grandma as the Yagyu group made their exit.

Samurai Girl didn't even looked at Theo as she left.

A big improvement from the constant death glares.

Theo sighed and moved to the last headache of the day.

"Kid... you seem to have women troubles." said Pastor Biajo.

"Shut it! So much crap is happening right now and I cant take it anymore!" replied the frustrated Theo before turning to the MIBs. "Tell me what you want. Make it quick. But if it involves women...."

"Er... It does actually." replied the MIB.

Theo sat on the floor, curled up into a ball and began questioning if having a harem was worth the hassle.