“Snail, what are we cooking?”

This was a double-layered question.

Kenja had no ingredients on him, and from what he saw, the bazaar they visited did not sell many food products that Snail could have pilfered. Kenja would have been absolutely certain Snail was looking for another opportunity to extort an acknowledgment if it weren’t for the occasional drink that Snail somehow prepared inside his shell.

He wanted to make sure Snail was not stalling for time to pick on Little Eg—Elder Zhu.

“Good question. Actually, I found some wild game out in the wild recently, so let’s use them.”

Kenja thought back to the quiet and desolate forest where he found Snail. He had not seen a hint nor a stir of a living creature. No smelly dung on the ground. No chirping in the trees. Not even a single fly buzzing around.

“Bak?”

“Bak-bak?”

“Bak-awk?”

“Baaaak?”

“...”

Before Kenja could ask another question, five chickens lying on nests appeared on the table, turning their heads wildly and clucking in surprise. Actually, only four clucked, and the last one merely looked around without making a noise.

“Now, which of my recipes should be good to start with…?” A large, book with a dusty cover appeared before Snail. As he opened it, the cover hit the floor, and a cloud of dust enveloped Snail and the book.

He began coughing heavily for several moments. Kenja took the chance to distance himself from the dust storm and walked over to examine the chickens that had already relaxed after their sudden change of venue.

For some reason he could not understand, when he looked at the chickens sitting together, they gave him a feeling of déjà vu.

Snail continued to cough incessantly, “Little Egg—cough, cough—you and your siblings should really tidy up around here. I’ve seen—cough, cough—rocks by the road cleaner than you guys. You are lucky I was here to tell you this. Imagine if it were your junior disciples who suffered through this grime. Wouldn’t you all lose face as their predecessors. Cough, cough—no need to thank me.”

Zhu Jidan and the other pillars’ faces darkened once again.

He was the one that brought the dust and grime on himself! Why must he call them dirty? Why must he say they will lose face with their juniors?

Zhu Jidan was not going to say anything, but he saw Snail stop to look at him and wait for his response. The elder saw that his brothers and sisters chose not to refute Snail, so he decided to respond with tact. He gave Snail an understanding nod and replied, “This one agrees that cleanliness is important.”

Snail continued looking at Elder Zhu Jidan without reacting to his words.

Did he want more?

Once more, Elder Zhu Jidan scanned his brothers and sisters whose faces continued to darken. “I will share your words with the younger ones,” he added even though they had clearly heard him.

The dust cloud finally dissipated, but Snail did not stop staring at Elder Zhu Jidan. He seemed to be waiting for a different response.

What else did he want?

Wait…did he want them to apologize for his mess? He just told them there was no need to thank him, but he was waiting for a thank you?

All of the pillars were on the same wavelength as each of their expressions turned ugly at the realization.

Zhu Jidan refused to yield. If he wanted to stare, then let him. Even rocks had their pride!

And stare Snail did.

Unbeknownst to Kenja, Snail and the pillars had a silent stand-off for a whole minute before Kenja interrupted them.

“Where did you say you found these chickens?”

Snail turned away from the elder who was thankful that he was a spirit with zero sweat glands. The various pillars were deeply grateful to Kenja for taking Snail’s attention. He was such a good and thoughtful child. How did he ever get paired up with such a scoundrel for a master?

Snail put on his ‘the-world-is-so-lucky-that-I-exist’ look and delivered the most tragic story involving fowl that was ever told, “Oh, disciple, you wouldn’t believe it. A little bit after we left the forest, I found these poor things trapped in a cage with no way out, forced to fend for themselves against oh-so-cruel Mother Nature. If it weren’t for some crate with a hole that could barely shield them from the heavy rains and prowling monsters, they might have long fallen and taken a dive into the Waterfall of the Deceased. Thankfully, I am kind and could provide…”

He paused for dramatic effect.

“...shell-ter for them!”

His eyes sat on top of his toque in a playful manner that cued the audience to respond. He was expecting words of praise for his heroism, tears of joy for his kindness or laughs of mirth at his humor—best-case scenario, crying words of laughter—no, laughing cries of praise—not that either, praising laughs of tears. Yes, praising laughs of tears would be perfect!

The spirits winced at the terrible pun, but Kenja did not react to his story.

“Do they have names?”

Snail was stumped by the question but quickly regained his composure. “Of course! What kind of snail do you think I am, to take in these children and leave them nameless? The one you’re standing near is called Chi.”

Kenja gave him a look devoid of good intentions. He grabbed at something hanging from the chicken’s necks and motioned to it.

“Then why does this collar say Daado?”

Stunned by the newfound information that the chicken was wearing a collar, Snail gathered himself once more to reply, “Yes, that one is Daado. Chi is over there.” He motioned to the chicken next to it.

Kenja walked over to that chicken and held out its collar as well. “This one’s name is Deedo.”

Speechless for once, Snail finally saw that each chicken was wearing a collar.

“These chickens belong to old lady Tori-san!”

Tori-san’s husband ran the bakery next to Wise Man Satoshi, and they had an amicable business relationship where they supplied each other with necessary ingredients for their goods. But after her husband passed away, the store’s hours were lessened because she was only interested in living day-to-day. The chickens used to be her husband’s breadwinners, and they were closest thing to family that she had—the handmade collars were a testament to this.

Kenja would often see her feeding them or watching over them from a bench. She would wave to Kenja and exchange a few words with him as he made his way to and from Satoshi-san’s shop.

Snail hesitated as he felt a hostile air emanate from Kenja. He was even angrier now than when he found out about all the stolen items from the bazaar.

“I told you. I rescued them from the wild. If they belonged to her, she should have kept them with her!” Snail attempted to reason with Kenja.

Rescued from what?! There was no threat of ferocious animals in the city nor were there heavy rains in the desert.

Even the ‘cage’ he mentioned before was a fence that enclosed the chicken yard and kept them from wandering off. It had a sign that said “Property of Tori - No Trespassing.” The ‘crate’ was not a crate but a wide shed that also had another sign with the same message , and the ‘hole’ should have been the gate that allowed the chickens to go in and out. Combined with the collars around their necks, what else could Tori-san do to display ownership over the hens? Stuff them into her pockets?

Kenja grit his teeth as he stopped himself from lashing out at the hopeless snail.

Seeing Kenja’s worsening mood, Snail decided to retreat. “I did leave one behind. If that old lady desires, she will have some chicks in a short time.”

Kenja’s anger subsided momentarily, and he appeared to be pondering over Snail’s words. But the calm only lasted a dozen seconds before the hostile air returned.

Daado, Deedo, Diddo, Dodo and Duudo were the only five hens old lady Tori-san owned. The only other bird in the chicken yard was a rooster named Dydo. He left only a rooster with the heavy responsibility of birthing new chicks. Did he think the rooster could lay an egg if he put his mind to it?

“We are not cooking the chickens.” Kenja spoke with an air of finality that could not be challenged.

He would find a chance in the near future to send Tori-san a letter along with a gold draft promising to return the five sisters. As for Snail, Kenja would just have to put up with his antics for now. His disguise was impossible without him, and Kenja had an inkling that Snail would not go away peacefully.

Snail looked at Kenja as if he were an idiot.

“Why would I ever eat these beautiful creatures?”

“Bak!”

“Bak-bak!”

“Bak-awk!”

“Baaaak!”

“...!”

Four of the chickens cried out in surprise while they all flapped their wings in a panic. The chickens were lifted into the air and in each nest lay a dozen or so eggs. Kenja grabbed hold of the quiet chicken named Dodo and patted its head to calm her down.

Tori-san had told him that her eggshell was cracked prematurely, and she was born as a soundless chick. One could argue that its defect caused it to be mistreated by the other hens all its life, but it also stole the attention and adoration from Tori-san and the other visitors. Even Kenja unconsciously reached out to comfort it first.

“We are going to use the eggs. Now, don't interrupt me! I am going to find a good recipe to start with.”

He looked through the book that was still on the ground, the side of the pages glimmered with a golden sheen as the pages were flipping.

In the meantime, a bunch more bowls, pots, pans and a variety of cooking utensils appeared on several of the many tables Snail had conjured up. Additionally, several types of spiritual tools used for cooking appeared along the edge of the grand pillar.

Sakura balanced a giant bowl on her blade and brought it forward to gather each of the nest’s eggs inside. While she did not move slowly, there was a certain hint of grace and care in how she catapulted each egg into the bowl without cracking a single one.

Kenja wondered why they needed this many eggs just for Elder Zhu.

“This one will do.”

He stopped on a page and turned to face them.

“Let’s make boiled eggs!”

The crowd was speechless.

Kenja glanced at the book while still holding Dodo who was resting comfortably in his arms. The book was opened back to the first page…

Zhu Jidan’s face was the most upset as he realized Snail was making fun of his name, but he did not say anything. Snail had brought out countless things to cook with, so perhaps he was serious about having Kenja cook something to impress him. He would be the one at a loss if he caused a row now.

Plus, boiling an egg might seem tedious when talked about by simpletons, but true veterans knew the difficulty entailed. Zhu Jidan had tasted many boiled eggs cooked by such veterans, including his own. The difference in taste between an egg that was simply boiled and an egg that was boiled to perfection was like comparing a chicken to a phoenix.

The chickens and nests began disappearing one after the other, back into Snail’s shell. By the time Kenja realized Dodo would disappear from his arms, he stopped Snail, “Wait.”

Snail was already on the table taking various ingredients and spices out from his shell when he heard Kenja. His body didn’t move, but the eyestalks rotated to face him.

“What is it, disciple? Weren’t you the one who wanted me to hurry?”

Kenja remained undeterred by his words as he asked Snail for a favor, “Can you heal Dodo?”

Snail still didn’t turn around but his eyes darted from Kenja to the bird that was already settled in Kenja’s arms and looked like it did not want to get up.

“What’s wrong with it? Aside from it being smarter than the others, I don’t see anything different about it.”

Kenja’s curiosity was piqued. “Why do you say she is smarter than the others?” Was Dodo a magical, talented chicken that could cultivate and eventually start talking like Snail?

“Isn’t it obvious? It doesn’t make the stupid noises the other birds make. If it isn’t smarter than them, what else could it be?” He said matter-of-factly.

…

Kenja had no words…

Even the gallery of spirits could tell that something was wrong with the chicken’s voice box, yet Snail was labeling the defect as an evolutionary benefit.

Sensing something was wrong with the bird, Sakura flew over to Dodo and caressed the hen’s head affectionately while the chicken gratefully accepted the patting without opening its eyes.

“Dodo was born mute. If you aren’t capable of healing her, then forget it.” He remembered how Snail had healed his injuries after fighting with Kitamura Bolo’s bodyguard outside the Lost Forest four days ago and hoped he could do the same for Dodo.

Disliking Kenja’s accusatory and standoffish tone, Snail furrowed his eyeballs at the little bird. He snorted loud enough for it to echo through the basin.

“Hmph. Is that all?”

Without turning his body around, a wind blew from his shell all the way to Kenja, enveloping the little chicken that was snuggly lying in his arms while being patted by the fork—sword. The chicken woke up to the sudden changes happening around it and wildly twisted its neck to look around its body.

“There. Now forget the emergency ration and come over here. You must listen to my instructions carefully.”

“...”

Putting aside the fact that Snail had just addressed Dodo as food, the chicken still did not make a sound. Kenja did not put Dodo down as he stared and waited for her to say something.

“...”

If Dodo’s voice was healed, he would feel better about having temporarily borrowed Tori-san’s chickens. At least when he returned them, she might be grateful instead of angry. After all, these fowl were like her kids.

“...”

“If you want her to make a sound, just poke her with the fork.”

Sakura did not seem to notice that the fork reference was targeting her as she continued to pat the docile chicken. Kenja understood what Snail meant as he gently shook and hugged the chicken to encourage it. He jerked the quiet bird upwards above his head to surprise it but…

“...”

It did not make a sound.

Snail lost his patience, and as if something grabbed Dodo’s tail feathers, they were ruthlessly pulled out.

“PEEP!”

…

Now, it was the crowd’s turn to be silent.

‘Peep’ was the sound of a chick, not a chicken. Would this hen be more bullied by its sisters when it returned to the group than before? One also could not forget that it’s butt was now bare without any feathers. Given her current state, Daado, Deedo, Diddo and Duudo would definitely look down on her. Dydo might not even give her a glance.

Dodo didn’t realize that it had spoken just now as it was more distracted by its cold and bare bottom.

“Peep?” My feathers, where did you go?

They all gave Snail a mean look that he ignored entirely, especially Sakura whose tip was poised to strike Snail at any moment.

Before anyone could launch a complaint, Dodo disappeared into Snail’s shell. Kenja was picked up off the ground and positioned in front of Snail who stood next to the bowl of eggs and a bunch of bottles and ingredients labeled with numbers on them.

“Come here, now. You can play with the birds later. It’s time to show these pebbles what my disciple is capable of.”