I tilted my head, trying to work my way through the implications. The Cedarwood-blood had seen me. Somewhere in the distance of my mind it registered that I should be feeling panic right about now, but the massive blood high I was experiencing kept me calm and rational.

Lying was probably out. There was no talking yourself out of drinking an ahuizotl to death. I sniffed the air and took a couple of steps towards the male to test this. He reeked of terror, heartbeat running fast and erratic, and despite me closing in he remained rooted to the spot. Yes, he had absolutely seen too much.

Running wasn’t an appealing option either. Too many of the townsfolk suspected and this one now knew. I’d never pull it off, only a matter of time before the Inquisition got to me. I kept walking, not straight towards him but in the direction of Fern standing not too far off from him. The longer he stayed frozen in fear and the closer I got the more options I’d have. It also brought me into the lengthening shade projected by the evening sun, where I would be able to see a little better.

He was alone, so I could kill him and say the ahuizotl did it. I contemplated that option for a second as I took off my right glove. Squishy bits of flesh-like stuff clung to my regrowing hand. Similar fleshy goo covered the inside of the glove. Another set ruined. This was why I carried spares.

I fingered the wounds on my neck and shoulder. There too the flesh was knitting back together. The regeneration didn’t actually hurt that much, but the pain of the injury would linger for a little while still. Thankfully the blood-high dulled that pain just as much. Not too much blood near the gash either, benefits of no heartbeat.

Killing him would be an utterly retarded mistake, worse than the other two options by a long shot. It would be my word the ahuizotl did it against Onar’s that I did it. As far as mistakes went this one smelled absolutely delicious though.

I had nearly reached Fern. The Cedarwood-meal, having recovered some of its witts took a couple of halting steps back, holding out a hand as if that would somehow keep me at bay. That he hadn’t run away now that I had approached him was a start, I suppose. Or maybe he simply wasn’t capable of running after what he’d just witnessed. Regardless, it provided an opportunity to avoid turning this into a bloodbath.

“I told you to stay away,” I stated after taking a breath. While I waited for his response I took out a bag to collect the runestones and a cloth to clean my blade.

He gasped, then fell to his knees and puked. With the setting sun and the shade, I could actually see him puking now instead of just hearing and smelling it. I should be disgusted, but there had been too many disgusting things in the past couple of minutes, and the blood-high was still strong.

I should also not need to inhale in order to speak. I did just now because I wasn’t breathing. My heart wasn’t beating either. Getting those two going again after the fight should have been the first thing on my mind. It hadn’t been. The blood-high made me not care. I needed to care. This wouldn’t work if I didn’t care. I forced my heart and lungs into motion, used the steady rhythm of my breathing to push past the dullness enveloping my mind. Only then did I trust myself to speak again.

“That was way closer than I would have liked. You are incredibly lucky they did not go for you when they had the chance.” I shook my head at the still retching man and returned to the ahuizotl nest to collect the runestones.

I needed to give him some space. Why had I even thought that walking up to him would give me more options. That was such a stupid move, such a stupid predator move. And I really couldn’t keep blaming my shitty behavior on some blood-high.

I massaged my temple, tried to kneed the aggressive manipulation and terrorization out of my head. Even my attempt at compassion had been a way to influence his mental state. I had lied. Again. The ahuizotl wouldn’t have gone for him. Cedarwood was far enough away and not a threat to them. Otherwise I wouldn’t have left Fern there. But he probably didn’t know that. So I had taken advantage of it, made him fear the ahuizotl more in the hope that it would make him fear me less. As for the very unlikely case that the ahuizotl would have ignored me and gone for my horse, in a chase Fern would have outrun them.

A trickle of something goopy and sticky drooped down my temple. I tried wiping it off. It was red and fleshy and all I managed was smearing it further over my face. Great. I had just walked up to him absolutely covered in ahuizotl gore.

Aaaah… damn!

Must look like a demon straight out of hell.

How do I even fix this?

Dropping the bag and the cloth I headed for the river and washed the worst of the mess from my hands and face. I even made a halfhearted attempt at getting the coagulated blood out of my hair, which went surprisingly well for how little time I allowed myself.

I would have preferred to take a little longer, but had to get out of the water because Cedarwood was inching back, about to run. I needed to talk to him before he rushed back. Maybe, just maybe, I’d be able to avoid him barreling into town screaming ‘vampire!’ at the top of his lungs.

Even while trying to get away he hadn’t turned his back to me, he was still that terrified. He stumbled over something when he saw me exit the water and tumbled through the undergrowth. He didn’t bother getting back up. Instead, he crawled further away from me.

“I’m sorry for snapping at you. Really shouldn’t have,” I raised my voice ever so slightly, so he would be able to hear me, yet carefully kept my usual formality out of my tone. Even though I hated it, sounding just a bit more like a little girl might just help. Then I sat down next to my blade in an attempt to appear even less threatening and began cleaning it. “I’m … I guess nearly dying makes me a little testy.”

It was probably the shittiest apology I’d ever made. I didn’t have a lot of experience being nice to people, and it was hard to be non-threatening when I needed to raise my voice so he could hear me. Regardless, he stopped scrambling away from me.

“You really should head back. Sun’s down. You’re going to catch a cold like that.” I urged him, now that I had his attention. He was soaking wet. He must have crossed the river on foot to get here. I used that excuse to encourage him to go back. He was already doing so anyway, but this way there was a crucial difference, him being allowed to leave, instead of him fleeing from me.

There was probably more I should have said. maybe I should even have tried asking him not to report me to the Inquisition. But I honestly did not know where to start. I had somehow, miraculously not made things even worse.

What if my next words screw it up again?

I fretted endlessly. I had talked myself out of so many hairy situations, but now, the one time that I really needed to, I didn’t seem to manage. To my surprise, when I went to stash the stones and my blade he was still there, lingering at the edge of the clearing.

I groaned as I grabbed the shovel and a fresh pair of gloves. He was still here, despite what he’d seen, despite his fear, despite me telling him he was free to go. I resisted the temptation to head towards the nearest tree and bash my head against it. I didn’t care that it was a positive that he hadn’t fled. It meant he needed something, yet all I wanted was an hour or two of peace and quiet before I’d have to set off on a mad dash across half the country to save my hide.

I shoved the spade into the mound of the nest, leaned on the handle, and looked at the man still lingering at the far end of the clearing. “Why are you here?” I asked him with a deep sigh.