The first day in the caverns was quiet, and unfortunately, very boring. It had taken a while for me to get used to the movement of the beetles, but eventually I settled into a semi comfortable position keeping my eyes on the road and my ears listening for any sounds that may signal an approach. The merchants mostly kept to themselves that first day, unused to the strange new elf and focused on performing inventory and bookkeeping after their visit to Mykas.

I tried, unsuccessfully, to start a conversation with Geode multiple times, but the only things he really responded to were questions about the job. He informed me that there were only three more stops until we began heading toward a human city, that the trip would take more than a week, and that usually guards were their busiest in medium sized towns, where customers may try to steal merchandise, or get into drunken brawls with the merchants in taverns.

I took a look back at the line of beetles behind us. They were each driven by a dwarf similar to Geode, and I could see people milling about and talking with the others, double checking that cargo was secured, or just watching the road and smoking a pipe. I wish I had a book, or phone, or any number of other useful things. I couldn’t even train while I was on the beetle. There would be enough room if they didn’t have the wagons or tents on them, but I couldn’t exactly have those moved.

When we reached our first midday stop I ignored the chance to eat lunch, took the time to stretch, and ran through some simple drills. I started with the bidents, then the dagger, and played a little more with how much I could divide up my spells. I was particularly happy to realize I could cast a version of the stone toss spell that was only dust when I reduced the slot use enough. That gave me an option for when I inevitably ran out of spice bombs. Elle had taught me the recipe of course, but I didn’t think the spices I needed would be available once I was out of the caverns.

I pulled out my sword, the glow illuminating the cave, and began to work through more drills. The sword drew stares from everyone except Elle, and Zevrack who had instinctually averted their gaze as I was in the process of drawing it, doing their best to protect their vision. Before I was too deep into my practice, Tinsel appeared next to me, causing me to jump a bit when he appeared at my shoulder. He was gazing at the blade, his gold eyes reflecting the light of it while he licked his lips.

“Can I help you?” I asked, stopping midswing.

“That sword. Enchanted?”

I looked at the glow of it, and back at him. “I assume so,” I said in a deadpan.

“What’s the enchantment?”

“I’m not sure. I had Elle take a look at it when I first found it, but she said she couldn’t tell what it did. I assume it has an enhanced sharpness, or is lighter than it’s meant to be in my hand. It always feels good to use.”

Tinsel tilted his head. “That’s odd. She’s been helping other merchants identify things all day. I wouldn’t think something like this would be beyond her abilities. May I?”

I nodded, and handed him the sword, carefully and hilt first. Its glow faded a bit as I handed it off.

He took it, and his gold eyes shimmered for a moment, like a coin catching sunlight, and I felt a slight thrum of power. He smiled. “Well… that’s an interesting blade for an elf to have.”

“What is it?”

He handed it back to me. “That would be a Blade of Elf Hunting.”

I blinked several times. “Excuse me?”

“A Blade of Elf Hunting. It glows when elves are nearby.”

“You’re joking.”

“I am not.”

I looked around the merchant campfires and found Elle. I walked quickly over to her.

She looked up at me and my expression, then my sword which I was still holding, and raised an eyebrow. “I know we’re not sharing a bed anymore, but the sword seems like an extreme reaction.”

The dwarves next to her exchanged glances.

I looked at them. “There was only one bed.”

They gave me the classic, none of my business hands up expression.

I sighed heavily. “The sword. You knew the whole time didn’t you?”

A smile lit up her face. “Yes I did. I was wondering when you’d figure it out.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought you may see an increase in performance if I left it a mystery. I was testing a theory with it. So far it seems like the Lying to Elves effect is real.That’s a placeholder of course. Also, and I’m truly sorry about this, I just thought it was funny.”

I could feel warmth rise in my cheeks. I sheathed the sword, and took a deep breath. It was funny, and it had worked, but it was just another example of me being a little dumber than I remember back on Earth. “On Earth we call it the placebo effect.”

“Why?”

“No idea. Maybe it was named after a guy called Johnny Placebo.”

At that moment Zevrack popped up from behind a rock near us, with some kind of strange lizard held between his teeth. He took a look at the situation and looked over at Elle. “He found out about his sword?”

She nodded.

He looked at me. “I wanted to tell you, but it was too good of a joke. I was very surprised Elle had done it.”

I gave up and sat down at the fire with them. “What made it a good joke to you?” I asked, still not clear on the kobold sense of humor.

“Like all good jokes, it was like a trap. It required planning, setup, a little luck, and finally activation. Good joke.” He smiled, the pressure causing the lizard between his teeth to wiggle like a marionette.

I wasn’t sure if that was a good insight on kobold humor in general, or simply gave me more insight into Zevrack’s sense of it. For all I could tell he was weird for a kobold, Elle was weird for a dwarf, and I was definitely weird for an elf. People certainly couldn’t learn much about our respective people by using us as an example.

…

After the midday break, and a long discussion among the beetle wranglers, it was decided that we’d skip around the next section of caverns by going overland to shave a day off the trip. The idea of seeing the sky filled me with a renewed vigor that led to me helping everyone load onto the wagons, so we could get a move on more quickly. After that I scrambled up onto the lead beetle and things got on their way.

We moved at a good clip. Not as fast as I would like, but I didn’t really have a say. As we moved I swore I was starting to feel a little colder, and the air itself was getting more fresh. I noticed those in the convoy with us were starting to put on coats and drape blankets over themselves. The chill wasn’t too bad yet for me, but I pulled out the thickest of the fabrics I’d bought and draped it over my shoulders, in case it got worse.

After only a couple of hours I started to see some light, far ahead of us, peeking out in the distance. Even that small amount hurt my eyes, but I welcomed the pain, unwilling to look away from the best glimpse of the surface I’d seen since I’d arrived. As we got closer the light started to become almost blinding, and the cold became more fierce. When we walked through the opening, I felt a momentary fear as everything went white, but as my eyes adjusted I realized that it was just the sun reflecting off snow, and the finer detail around me fell into place.

We were on a mountain, higher up than I’d ever been before. The ground was covered in snow, and around us were tall dead trees standing stark against the pale landscape that surrounded us. It was beautiful, so much so that I didn’t even feel the cold. I looked around at everyone else, and the rest of the convoy behind us. Elle had an expression on her face I was sure was similar to my own, a wide smile along with a touch of wonder in her eyes as she looked around. I didn’t see Zevrack, until I noticed at the corner of the rear beetle, there was a pile of coats and blankets that was shifting a bit, a small amount of tail sticking out of it. His opinion of the cold was very clear.

I took a moment to look up at the sky above me, it was a clear and cloudless day. I was happy to find that the skies were blue here too. Which made it very upsetting when a circle of red manifested in the sky above us.