《Heather the Necromancer》1-17 Skeletons are Useless
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Heather walked triumphantly down the forest path in her lovely blue dress. It came with an undercoat of white lace with a silk lining. It buttoned all the way to the collar and had long sleeves that ended in white cuffs. Frank walked beside her, carrying three additional dresses, as well as her basket of soaps. In addition, he had a hand mirror, a small brush, a bucket, her lanterns, and candles, and four bottles of apple cider.
“Why am I carrying all this?” he asked as they trudged through the woods.
“I'm carrying my panel,” she reminded him.
“Your panel hardly weighs anything.”
“You’re stronger than me, besides you don’t want me to soil my new dress?” she asked.
“You should pick a traveling merchant as your last class. I think they come with a donkey.”
Heather smiled and stepped over to him. “Fine, I will help you carry something.” She took the basket of soaps from his arms and proceeded to begin smelling them one by one.
“Gee, thanks,” Frank groaned.
“You’re welcome,” she said with a chirpy tone.
They made the long walk back through the twisting woods. They arrived at the forest's edge just as the sun moved to the twilight position and bathed them in a red glowing sky. From here, they could see the distant hills that hid the graveyard.
“I will be happy to be home,” Frank said. “I didn’t like being in that town.”
“Why not?” Heather asked. “Nobody was mean to you.”
“I feel self-conscious, besides I don't like being away from the graveyard so long.”
“I think you don’t believe anybody will like you because you look like this,” she said.
“I kill players for experience,” he said. “Of course, nobody will like me.”
“Nobody in the town so much as said a word,” Heather pointed out. “They even had some monster players before.”
“That dwarf and erudite had something to say,” Frank argued. “They wanted to kill us.”
“They were just mad that I tricked them,” she replied.
“Mad enough to kill us.”
Heather rolled her head with a sigh. “I didn’t know they were going to reset. I just wanted to get you some experience.”
“I told you non chosen reset when they die,” he reminded her.
“And Moon said they don’t if hey have a house,” Heather added. “It’s not my fault they didn’t have one.”
“I doubt they lost much of anything,” Frank said.
“How can you know that?” she asked.
“They were looking for the city to start a home, which means they were new. They were probably level one with no experience. All your reset did was waste the time they spent walking.”
“Oh,” she said as she smelled a bar of lilac and honey soap. “So, they didn't actually lose anything.”
“I doubt it.”
“Well I feel better,” she said with a wide smile. She walked back with a skip in her step and made their way to the front gate. There they stopped and stared at a collection of papers stuck to the fence.
“What are these?” Heather asked as she picked one up.
“They are letters,” Frank said as he looked at one.
“This graveyard was boring, one star, will not adventure again,” Heather read out loud.
“The spawn rate of the skeletons is too slow. Nobody here to complain to. Poor service over all,” Frank said as he read his.
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“They all say something mean!” Heather said as she read another.
“I think these are all complaints,” Frank suggested.
“They can’t leave complaints!” Heather yelled. “We were out! The graveyard was closed!”
“We should have taken the sign down before we left,” Frank said.
Heather began tearing letters down and crumpling them up before marching into the graveyard. She had frank unload her stuff in the tower and then set about inspecting the rooms. Somebody had searched her bed and drawers, but since she had nothing to take, nothing was missing.
Frank buried all his stuff in the grave soil pit, and nobody had been brave enough to dig in it. Somebody broke his urns, but he easily regenerated these as they were part of his lair.
Heather set about putting up her lanterns and hanging her dresses on a spear Frank wedged into the wall for her. Outside she heard a slight clicking that drew her to the window. She struggled to look through the narrow opening but gave up with a growl.
Some player was already out there causing more trouble. He was probably leaving a complaint at this very moment. She stomped down the steps to tell him to go away and threw open her door.
“Oh,” she said when five skeletons turned to glare at her. They wore no clothing and carried no weapons. The bones looked yellowed with age, and many were cracked and chipped.
“Ummm,” she started to say unsure of what to do. “I am your master!” she said loudly.
Silent glowing eye sockets stared at her blankly as if her words were nothing.
“Ok,” she whispered as she thought of something else to say. “I am your ruler!”
The silent gazes were her only response.
“Think Heather, how do you talk to a skeleton?” she scolded herself. She paced just inside her doorway as she thought back to the night Frank was injured. “What did you do then?” She realized she hadn't done anything. She reanimated them, and they immediately ran off to attack the intruders. Her's, however, seemed content to stand around and do nothing.
“Great, I have guardians with the intelligence of a roomba,” she said. She looked out the open doorway at the skeletons and tried to think of how to use them. For the most part, they stood in one spot, but now and then one would suddenly move and stand in a new spot. It didn't seem to have any logic to how or when they moved. However, they never traveled far from the summoning tomb. She realized after a few minutes that they were ignoring her. All they ever did was acknowledge her presence by staring.
“I feel like I am in high school again,” she grumbled as she walked around the yard, looking at them. “Phew!” she said with a wave of her had. “You certainly smell like I'm in high school again.”
“What are you doing?” Frank called from the fence.
“What am I supposed to do with these stupid things?” Heather asked. “They don’t listen to anything I say.”
“You’re not supposed to do anything with them,” Frank said. “They just spawn and protect that part of the graveyard.”
Heather felt cheated. “So, I can't do anything at all with them?”
“You can give them simple commands like come here or step back.”
Heather turned to the nearest skeleton and gave it a firm command. “Step back!”
To her delight, it took a single step back.
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“Oh!” she said with a smile. “So, the commands have to be simple?”
“They are just skeletons. All they can do are simple tasks.”
Heather nodded as she considered them. “Can I get anything better?”
Frank nodded his head. “You can summon all kinds of undead once you get higher. You can even magically craft special forms of undead. They call them necro golems.”
“Golems? Like in that movie with the ring?” she asked.
“That is a completely different thing,” he said. “A golem is a magical construction of some kind. Some wizards can make them out of clay or wood. There is one class that actually fights through a golem. It upgrades the golem as it levels.
“So golems can be sand or clay,” she repeated.
“They can be all sorts of things,” Frank corrected. “They can be metals, wood, stone, straw.”
“Straw?” she asked.
“They make scarecrows like you see in old movies. There is a way to animate them. Actually, I think the necromancer can make a type of them.”
“Hmm,” Heather said as she pondered it. “What level do I need to be to make golems?”
“I don't know. I didn't want to be a necromancer,” Frank admitted. “But if I can get a level higher, I can place a nested tree.”
“What’s a nested tree?” she asked with a raised brow.
“It’s a giant dead oak tree whose branches are encased in spider webbing. It will spawn several spiders that drop out of the tree to attack people.”
“Spiders! Ewwww!” Heather said with a disgusted look. “Can’t you spawn something nicer like rabbits?”
“Who would be frightened of a rabbit?”
“I saw one in a movie once that bit people's heads off,” Heather said.
“You watch awful movies,” Frank sighed.
“You want awful spiders,” she argued.
“I can get a zombie plot instead,” he suggested. “I can choose from several styles, but it's just a bunch of graves that spawn zombies.”
Heather thought back to all the zombie movies she had seen and wasn’t sure she liked that any better. “Cant we spawn something nicer?”
“This is an undead graveyard,” Frank said. “What else am I supposed to spawn?”
“I don’t know,” Heather argued. “How about dogs?”
Frank scratched at his head a moment. “I think I can get a dog called a bone hound. I am pretty sure you have several types of dogs. I think you can even make a zombie variety.”
“Ughhh,” Heather groaned as everything came back to monsters.
“If you don't like it, you can still change your class. In fact, you probably should,” he pointed out.
“I like what I am,” she said. “It just needs a few changes and a good third class.”
“Only If you stay human,’ Frank said. “Are you sure you want to be human?”
“I like the golden sprite, and what ever race Moon is,” Heather said.
“She is a shadow elf,” Frank replied.
“I like that fairy race too. Oh, and the women with the bird wings,” she added as she thought about it.
“There are lots more.”
“I know,” Heather said as she walked up to a skeleton. She hated the look of those empty stares, and being so close made her skin crawl. “I feel like if I take another race, I am betraying what I really want.”
“What do you really want?” Frank asked.
“I want out of here,” she said as she stepped back. “I am grateful for your helping me, but I want to go home and take a bath. I want to get a burger and two orders of fries and watch bad movies.”
“I wasn’t sure you still wanted to do that,” he said. “You never let me look at the panel to see if I can figure it out.”
Heather looked at him and then chewed on her lip. “I suppose I was having a little fun, but I don’t think I want to stay here. People are mean and do terrible things just because they can. Moon is the only nice person we have met.”
“I don’t trust her. She is being too nice.”
“I didn't at first, either. But now I think about it, all she wants is to save her town,” Heather said. “She has everything to gain from being nice to us.”
“She looked at us the whole time like she was keeping a secret,” Frank replied.
“She gave me dresses and a brush and mirror,” Heather said.
Frank shook his head. “Just because she gave you things doesn’t mean she can be trusted. She needs us now, but what happens when she doesn’t need us anymore?”
“You worry too much. She was very nice, and she treated you like you were just another player.”
“Maybe,” Frank said. “But you can be of use to her as something else. If you took the two builder classes, you could make a haunted forest and the tower. That would give them more to play in.”
“But who will reanimate the undead when they are broken?” Heather asked. “The tombs respawn them too slowly for the players to earn enough experience.”
“What happens if King Kevin finds out about you, though?”
Heather was silent a moment as she considered that. This Kevin hated necromancers because of what they did to him. He was waging wars to force other kingdoms to ban them. What would he do if he found out he had one in his back yard?
“We can’t worry about that now,” she said. “Maybe we can talk to him about it later.”
“I doubt he will sit down to talk to us like Moon did.”
“All we can do is play nice then. People will tell him how helpful we are, and maybe he will make an exception.”
“You have more faith in people than I do. You obviously didn't play any moba's”
“I don’t even know what that means,” Heather grumbled.
“Let’s just say it’s a type of game where players being mean to one another reached the level of an art form.”
“Why even make games like that?” Heather asked.
Frank shrugged. “It's not the game per say. It's the competition. Some people play purely to be the best. But when you're thrown into a game where your success depends on a team. Well, some people get super angry when a teammate under performs.”
“So why not help them learn?”
“People will say they should learn someplace else,” Frank replied. “If they are pushing hard to be the best, they expect everybody else to do the same. If you're not there to be the best, then you shouldn't be there at all.”
Heather tried to work her mind around that concept. “Then it isn’t a game anymore.”
“How is it not a game?”
“If all that matters is being the best, then your not playing for enjoyment. Your playing for status. What you want is an arena where you can prove you're the top alpha male.”
Frank scratched his head. “I think people enjoy being the best.”
“So, only one of you ever gets to enjoy the game then?”
Frank thought about that a moment and shook his head. “People enjoy them for different reasons. Some people want to be the best, but some people enjoy the game itself.”
“Then why do they get so mean?”
“I don’t know,” Frank admitted. “It’s just always been part of the game.”
“Maybe you need to rethink how you play games,” she suggested.
“I guess, maybe,” he shrugged. “But it’s always been fine the way it is.”
“Well, I am going to play this game my way, and my way has us working with Moon and her town. Now we will have regular visitors to help us level up, and we have a town we can shop in.”
Frank only shrugged again.
The sun suddenly moved, and the sky turned to a night drowned in stars. She realized she was tired from the walk and decided to try sleeping in her own bed for a change. Tomorrow she would get a bucket of water form the stream and give herself a good wash. She wasn’t going to entertain guests without a bath and hair wash.
“Well, I am going to sleep,” she said with a smile. She turned to the skeletons and gave them a command. “Guard the tower.” Nothing changed as they stared at her with lifeless eyes.
“They were going to do that anyway,” Frank said.
“I just wanted to say it,” Heather grumbled. “What good are skeletons if you can’t give them orders.”
“Well, goodnight,” Frank said as he turned from the fence. “And thank you for being my friend.”
Heather smiled and watched him walk away. This might be a crazy world full of hyper-competitive players, but at least she had a friend. She turned and went inside her empty tower. She knew that the new day would come adventurers from the town, and she wanted a good night's sleep. However, as she sat on her bed in the gloomy room, all she could think of was what she missed. She wanted to turn on her laptop and watch videos. She wanted to talk to her friends. She wanted everything that this place wasn't. With a sigh, she undressed and climbed into bed. After a while, she drifted off to sleep only to dream about pizza and fries again.
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