I stood guard by the door, wooden spear at the ready, and waited. Soon the sounds of celebration and feasting faded into contented murmuring and revolting belches. I heard calls in a tone that Chez often used after giving him food, especially food he loved, and wondered if the doomed beasts were thanking me. Were they thanking me for feeding them their own kin? Or were they from a rival tribe sharing the same floor and unrelated?

More than an hour passed, but nothing seemed to have happened yet. The beasts on the other side of the door were quieter, but it sounded far too peaceful to be because of weakness. It was more like congenial quiet with light conversation after a hearty meal with friends, which seemed appropriate despite my frustration.

More and more time passed, and yet nothing happened. Doubt had filled my thoughts for hours, and I wondered if I had made a horrible mistake. I tried to imagine what else I could have bought for twenty-five shards and berated myself for not even looking at weapons. What if I could have bought a gun? I didn’t know how to use one outside of a video game, but it would be hard to fuck up at such close range, and the sound would likely terrify the tribal beasts.

I opened the shop, navigated to the weapons section, and thought, “guns.” The list reformed, and I breathed a sigh of relief. My relief was not from a new source of hope but the knowledge that I hadn’t made a horrible mistake. The cheapest guns available cost twenty shards and were primitive, muzzle-loaded smoothbore guns. Some single-shot pistols weren’t much more, but the least expensive item that still resembled a modern firearm in my mind was a double-barrel shotgun for forty shards. I wondered how much the ammo would cost, and in response to that thought, dozens of different loads of shotgun shells replaced the list of mostly antiquated firearms. The cheapest shells cost three shards per shell. Unless I could kill three goblins per shot, firearms were not a sustainable option.

I started to panic once I realized that I had allowed myself to be distracted from the hole in the door for so long while I browsed the shop, but nothing had come through. The only change was that the goblins had come out of their post-feast contentment and were back to talking and arguing just as they had before I fed them. The time passed by at an agonizingly slow rate. I started to think I could understand some of what the goblins were saying. Though it was all nonsense, I started weaving bullshit translations in my mind to distract myself from the impending doom implied by the failure of my poisoning. That lasted until the lights went out, and my last hopes died.

I turned on my flashlight and tried to force the mounting terror from my mind. I had no idea how long the batteries in this flashlight would last, and I didn’t have any spares. All I had needed the flashlight for was to find my way to a bed or to take a piss in the dark. I had never cared if it could last all through the night or not, but now I was dead as soon as it went out. Goblins were cave-dwelling creatures in every bit of fantasy I had ever read or played. They were more at home in pitch-black darkness than in the sunlight. I would be dead the moment my light died. I had Chez stand guard for a moment while I fully opened the blinds, but it was a futile effort. It was a dark night, with only the stars to light up the once-glowing city. I hadn’t stopped to look out of a window ever since I had seen the dragon, but the city was dead. Only two buildings that I could see still had power.

I mustered my courage and returned to guard the door. Chez settled in beside me and quickly fell asleep. I grudgingly admitted that it was late and that he had been up and moving all day, but I envied his ability to be so calm in the face of certain death. I tried to remind myself that the option to break through a few apartments and make a run for it would still be there tomorrow, but it hadn’t been a good idea when I was reasonably well-rested and would be even less ideal tomorrow.

Another hour passed as I prayed for my flashlight to hold out before I heard groans coming from the other side of the door. There was just one goblin quietly moaning at first, but as more time passed, it groaned louder and more goblins started to join the chorus. If the poison was just now kicking in, then it had a painfully long digestion time.

~Ding!

Skill Unlocked: Poison (Intelligence Skill) All is fair in love and war. Use poison to decimate your enemies or discretely remove your rivals. Increases damage dealt by poisons by %1 per level. Current level: (1)

It must be the poison, then. I had to hope that it would do more than simply make them groan. If this was the limit of the poison’s power, I had to hope it would last till morning when I could make a break for it. My fears that it might merely cause a stomach ache were proved false when the screaming started.

~Ding

Skill Improved: Poison Poison has reached level 2

I had never heard any living creature make such tormented cries. Once the screaming started, it only stopped when the poor bastard had to breathe, and then he screamed again. I heard frantic pleas and whispered prayers from the goblins. I heard furious roars and heartbroken wails, but soon it was all drowned out as more and more goblins started screaming. I sat there, listening to the horrors I had wrought, and felt a tiny pair of arms wrap around my leg. Chez was kneeling on the ground and shaking in terror, hugging my thigh. I patted his head and wondered if he would hate me once he realized what I had done.

I maintained my vigil for well over an hour while Chez clung to my side until something started to crawl through the door. I shoved Chez away and began to stab forward with my spear, but then the intruding creature looked up, and I froze. The goblin’s skin was grey and pale, its veins bulging and black. Sickly black blood oozed out of its glassy eyes and its gaping maw. It was screaming, but its voice had grown so hoarse that it was reduced to a growling moan. The wretched creature reached out a hand towards me as if I could save it from its torment, but I couldn’t move. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the creature in front of me.

Chez stepped up beside me, mouth agape in horror at what was in front of him, but he found strength where I could not. He grit his teeth and stabbed the poisoned goblin, but it didn’t even react to the new hole in its side. It was in so much pain that being impaled by a spear wasn’t even worthy of its attention. Chez slowly withdrew his spear, his arms shaking, and then stabbed it again. Still, the dying goblin held out its arm, begging for help. Chez started sobbing but managed to stab forward once more, and the pitiful beast finally died.

Chez just stood there crying, staring at the corpse while we listened to the screams outside. I looked back at the corpse in front of me and upon what I had wrought. Its mouth still lay open in an eternal scream, and blackened blood was still smeared over its face where it had leaked out of its eyes and mouth. The screams cut deeper now that I could see what was happening to their bodies.

I puked. I hadn’t eaten since lunch, so I could only spew acidic bile and dry heave when even that ran out. I gave up on defending the door and sank to the floor, still retching. I tried to tell myself that I didn’t have a choice and that we had been trapped, but I knew it was just an excuse. I hadn’t imagined anything like this, but I knew dying from poison would be a miserable end. I just hadn’t cared. I tried to tell myself they were only monsters and that it was them or us, but those screams didn’t sound like those of monsters. All they sounded like were sentient creatures enduring the worst agony I had ever imagined. I retched again.

~Ding

Skill Improved: Poison Poison has reached level 3

Chez was stronger than I was. Once he realized I wasn’t guarding the door anymore, he took up the post. He was still shaking, but his spear tip stayed leveled at the hole in the door. I wondered what he thought. Did he know I had caused this? Did he think there was a monster outside leaving screaming, dying goblins in its wake? Did he know what sickness was? Or poison? I knew nothing about his life before I met him. I didn’t know what he had experienced that might give him perspective. I didn’t know what part of this had him so scared. Did he fear the same thing would happen to him? Did he mourn their deaths despite helping me slaughter so many in this very room? Or was it simply the pain and agony in their voices that he couldn’t bear?

No matter what he thought, I knew the truth. Self-loathing and shame would be my only companions that night.