《Galactic Fist of Legend》Chapter 59.6: Adventures in Princess Sitting
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The atmosphere turned festive as the little group moved on with their self-appointed mission. Scott took his cues from Chaine. The Hero of Ha' Ruul did not seem to be overly concerned by the idea of a giant squo-bloo. Given their current level of fire power, Scott could not find enough concern within himself to muster up a sense of doubt either. Would this battle even be considered to be the same thing as a boss fight? It had all of the ear marks of one, but none of the tension. Even the fight with the giant skeletal drudges had the necessity of facing down their advantages. What could this thing do other than spit big rocks and complain?
Soon they arrived at the designated area. A large open area reminiscent of a lake had spread out before them. The waters ran deep in the area, which could be a problem on many fronts. How did they attract the squo-bloo's attention?
Scott offered his concerns to Chaine, but the hero merely grinned at him. "Remember when I had you all wait outside of town for a few minutes because I needed to check on something?"
"Yeah? You weren't gone long," replied Scott. He quirked an eyebrow upward then asked, "I take it that was why you needed us to wait? Something to do with this thing here?"
Chaine opened a flap on his belt pouch and pulled out a tiny little spherical object that suddenly ballooned outward and became roughly the size of a volleyball. There was a short string attached to one end which completed its highly familiar appearance.
"What are you planning to do with that?" asked Vita slowly, a hint of suspicion in her tone.
"I thought that I would do a bit of fishing, princess," Chaine took out a small red stone from a different pouch then placed the bomb on the ground. He lightly scraped his sword across its surface. Sparks flew out, then quickly ignited the fuse.
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Chaine dropped the rock quickly then snatched the bomb up from the ground and threw it far out into the water. Despite the fact that it was doused with water, the bomb's fuse continued to burn. A loud explosion rocked the area even as some of the water and steam rose up from the lake like a geyser. The rest, of course, decided to explode sideways. Everyone was hit by the water to some extent. However, one casualty was hit worst of all. Vita, caught in the biggest section of the aftermath, was thoroughly drenched in the process of summoning the squo-bloo.
Several fish suddenly rained down around them. They flopped miserably about while their mouths gaped open and then closed only to gape open once more. In many ways they seemed to be in denial about the situation. Chaine ended their misery with a few quick stabs of his blade. No longer suffering from an existential crises, they could now rest peacefully in the knowledge that their deaths had no meaning save for the possibility of a soon to come fish fry.
"You..." vita sighed loudly then looked down at her thoroughly drenched outfit.
"That's a good look for you, princess," said Chaine amiably. He then pulled out another bomb.
"No!" cried Vita. "There has to be another way."
"I could sing? Sometimes people singing at sea seem to draw them in—" began Chaine only for Vita to shout him down.
She crossed her arms over her chest and shook her head rapidly at him. "Just throw a bomb if you must, you perverse lout."
"How am I perverse?" he asked her curiously.
"Come now? Do you truly believe that I am foolish enough to think that you did not soak me head to foot on purpose?" Vita frowned prettily at him then tossed her hair to the side with a flick of her head. "Clearly, you are perverse!"
Chaine dropped his bomb then stomped over to the princess. "Whaddya mean, perverse? List here, princess..."
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Scott threw his hands up then awkwardly backed out of the situation as the two continued to argue vehemently. He moved over to his group then stood with them while the locals argued with each other like drunken rednecks at the trailer park.
The argument continued on full steam ahead for quite some time. Their voices carried far across the water, and almost as far across the land.
"And that's another thing! Why do you always try to make me wear a dress!" snapped Chaine.
"It's a tunic! A tunic!" cried Vita. She threw her hands up in disgust. "Far be it from me to try and civilize a barbaric ruffian like you!"
"Oh? Oh, I'm the barbarian? I see." Chaine threw his hands up sideways and shook his body side to side in a sassy manner. "Who was it that slapped red paint on her face and assaulted that shopkeeper's market stall when she refused to give you a discount on lemonade? Eh, princess?"
"I was a child, and those prices were akin to highway robbery!" cried Vita in her own defense.
"The shopkeeper was a little girl, too! You even made her cry!" shouted Chaine.
"She had it coming! Who charges ten crystal for a glass of lemonade, especially during a heatwave!" exclaimed Vita self-righteously.
"You burned her lemonade stand to the ground and poured a bag of salt on the remains so she'd know her business could never grow there again!" shouted Chaine.
"I apologized for that!" snarled Vita.
"Right. Right... and how long did it take for Luau' Ra to forgive you?" snarked Chaine in an almost merry fashion.
"Why you little..." began Vita. She reached for Chaine as though she intended to go for the throat. However, an explosive roar echoed across the lake. A massive octopus head rose above the surface amidst another geyser of water shooting into the air. This time at least, it was far enough away not to drench Vita.
"Oi!" shouted the Squo-bloo. "I'm trying to sleep 'ere! Squo-woo-woo!"
"So, the bomb didn't wake it up... but these two arguing did?" asked Kitty in a playful manner.
"Interesting. It can talk, but its enunciation is terrible," said Saelil in a curious tone.
"Yeah. I blame public schools. Clearly this guy was one of those kids who needed to be left behind," remarked Scott.
By this time the squo-bloo had drawn close enough to hear their supposedly witty banter. "Oi!" cried the squo-bloo. "Disrespectin' me, arencha? Well, now. That's just fine, mate. I was hankering for a bit of brekky this morning. "
"It's nearly night time, though," countered Scott.
"Oi!" cried the monster. "You right bloody squawkin' bastards have me not knowin' wot time 'o the day it is now? Terrible. Oh, yer jes' terrible."
Scott was about to say something snarky, especially about the thing's weird accent that could not seemingly decide if it was supposed to Australian or some sort of British, but the world began to slow down even as the color drained from everything around him. His eyes lit up. The little side trip would count as mission!
He quickly read through the mission briefing. Nothing particularly interesting was offered. The squo-bloo was considered to be a Rank G-3 threat. Other than the ability to gain experience points form the fight he would not earn anything else.
"Stronger than the giant drudges, but nothing worthy of note. Kind of what I figured," said Scott. Common enemies on Ha' Ruul should not be too powerful. Far more than an ordinary soldier could handle alone, but with the equipment and stats his team possessed only boss encounters or a large horde should be a problem. This squo-bloo, for all its giant size, was not even really a boss. It was just a large member of its kind that had swam upstream.
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