The mystical storm clouds which covered the sky began to thin ever-so-slightly as the world's ugliest children climbed out of their grotesque egg sacks. The maniacal laughter of the crazed necromancer echoed obnoxiously around the area as Chaine and Samantha drew closer together.

"What are those things?" asked the sword-wielding hero as he readied himself to face the coming challenge.

Samantha kept her own council, but if anyone could see her underneath her armor they would notice quite the disturbed look. From out of the egg sacks nightmare creatures arose. The lower body was that of a giant spider, but the upper body bore the appearance of a grey-skinned child with angular ears similar to those of Saelil or Chaine.

"Swallow their souls my lovelies!" crowed the gargantuan zombie mecha, before it unleashed another sickening rain of egg sacks.

Just as the battle seemed as though it would begin in earnest, a strange noise began to waft through the air. Momentarily distracted everyone save for the frantically digging Kitty, even the spider-things and Onion, stopped to listen. In fact, all those who bore witness to the song found it difficult to move their feet much at all.

"Music?" asked Chaine, surprised. The sound of electronic dance music rose in intensity. A strangely cheerful tune that belied the moment, it was woefully out of place.

"How could there be music?" asked Samantha in confusion.

The giant zombie mecha snorted derisively. He realized what was going on not long after the new situation arose. "Stupid gods. They're playing background music since this is an important event."

Waldo's massive abomination threw its head back and he screamed out, "I knew you bastards were watching!"

A sugary pop-tune began to play as a counter-point to the evils that crawled through the area, but equally disturbing was another twist on the moment. A voice similar to a television sports announcer echoed through the area. "Hello, and welcome to the fate of all life on this world! We'll be your hosts tonight. I am Emeritus Hellborne, Grand Emissary and all-around nice guy. Here with me is my pickled associate Perival the Betrayer. Say hello to the people, Perival."

A muffled noise reminiscent of a cross between the noise of a buzzing insect and the panicked mumble of a frightened man rose up on the breeze. The announcer voice spoke out again in an overly cheerful manner, "Oh, I certainly agree! It is exciting to be here indeed, Perival!"

The mumbling and buzzing rose in intensity, and in a manner that almost sounded like a vocal denial, but the voice did not speak again for the moment. However, the same could not be said for the other involved parties.

"Perival?" asked Waldo curiously. "He's watching?"

The voice ignored the evil that was Waldo and continued, "Tonight's match-up features the Lord of Infinite Sorrow, Wald—" but his words died in the air momentarily. Speaking in hushed tones the announcer spoke to his muffled associate. Their conversation was hard to discern but the words, "Really?" and "You ruined our business reputation for a guy named Waldo?" were in loud, obvious, tones meant for others to hear.

Waldo unleashed a loud outcry at the affront, and Chaine snickered lightly to himself. Emeritus' announcer voice returned in crystalline clarity. "The Lord of Infinite Sorrow, Waldo..."

The necromancer curled the fists of his evil zombie mecha, and soon it began to shake at the humiliation of it all. "Bastard! Someday..."

"In the opposite corner, we have an untitled Champion accompanied by his entourage of other world heroes and notables. The champ seems down for the count, but his associates are ready to fight it out till the end! There's no way to know how this battle will go down, but you're here live to see it folks!" cheerfully announced the emissary. An unseen throng of voices cheered and whistled, giving the impression that a large audience had in fact arrived to watch the spectacle.

"Round-o One! Fight-o!" cried out the announcer jubilantly in a strange sounding bit of Engrish. Those fateful words acting in the manner of a starting bell, the combats each began to move at the same time.

The evil little baby-spider hybrids unleashed hellish high-pitched screeches, their sonic dissonance racing across the square to assault the ears of the defenders. Onion managed to finish righting himself just in time for three of the of the hideous spider things to leap upon him with unholy zeal. They tore into his purple flesh rapidly, acidic venom washing over his flesh.

Onion did not scream in pain, as he was also undead and felt little in that regard. However, he did begin to spin around like the world's fattest ballerina. Deep pits formed in his pungent flesh as the acid ate away at him, but the spider beasts rapidly lost their hold on his flesh and fell away due to a combination of his rotating force, and his own noxious aura. Onion's fumes were enough to harm not only the living, but even greater undead abominations. The trio of spider things that attacked him began to flop spastically on the ground. Several more appeared, but not before the first three began to rot away and dissolve into a pile of sludge.

The announcer cried out, "Onion is on the ropes but he's holding on! The first wave offensive by the minions of Dread Waldo are quite ferocious today!"

Saelil looked on with anxious eyes as her baby freed himself of the first wave of monstrosities, but was immediately set upon by another small wave of the creatures. "If only I had reagents that could be useful now!"

"What would you need?" asked Vita.

The dark elf looked to the princess then tilted her head. "A few things..." she said, before rattling off a list of possible items she could use at the moment even in her current condition.

"I see," said the princess. "Some of what you spoke of sounds like things strewn about in that ridiculously named villain's lair. Though, I have no idea if he has any of the other items you require."

"Truly," said Saelil. She quickly peeked over the side of the building then drew back. "Most of those creatures are going after the others, but are you in any condition to try to break into that man's back yard with me?"

"Of course," said Vita. "I can't let that idiot down there have all of the fun."

Said idiot leapt up to meet the flying tackle of a spider creature. His divinely empowered blade flashed forward in a powerful arc that tore through the beast's side and ripped several limbs free from its lower body. Sickly looking fluids spurted out wildly but missed Chaine as he shifted angles in mid-air and spun around with enough force to decapitate another of the creatures before he landed. Everywhere that his blade struck gave rise to tiny gold and white flames that ate away at the flesh of the creatures.

"Ooh, it looks like Chaine went for a double-header but only got one head!" cried the announcer. "What an embarrassing display of poorly executed swordsmanship!"

"What?" asked Chaine, surprised. He could not let the biased commentary on his skills stand. He cried out, "Hey!" in a bid to make the announcer change his mind. Surely, it would work!

Meanwhile, Samantha did her best to down several of the skittering horrors. However, her weapons were not quite as suited to the task. Lacking divine enhancements, she found herself in a similar to predicament to Scott when he first fought these beasts. Her plasma weapons did damage, but the beasts quickly regenerated at a staggering rate of speed. Once again, she was forced to rely on her alternate weapon system.

Half a dozen of the hideous beasts got into range before her only legitimate option, her freeze beam, took significant effect. It took several shots to slow one of the monsters enough that it could not run at her full-tilt.

Suddenly, several hissing noises and a warning from her sensor array told Samantha that she might be in trouble. She leapt backwards several times in rapid succession to avoid several disturbing strings of webbing that shot toward her from newly arrived reinforcements. Wherever the webbing touched, a sizzling noise arose. Even metal and glass were not safe from the corrosive potency as large gouges and pits appeared as the acid webbing ate away at the unfortunate surfaces that it now coated.

Sensing that the creatures had concocted something resembling a rudimentary strategy, Samantha continued to dodge acid web shots until she could turn a corner around a building. She used that moment to morph into a ball and race away, several plasma bombs left behind in her wake.

The creatures, not knowing what the floating bits of energy were for and not intelligent enough to care, raced right into the thick of them. Moderately powerful explosions of super-heated plasma and concussive force rocked the area as the tiny terrors were sent flying. Body parts, webbing, and other viscous gore rained down upon the earth. However, despite the damage done, the creatures immediately began to regenerate. It would not be long until they were back to full strength.

Samantha raced through the area while dropping the occasional plasma bomb to disperse the enemy. The creatures found it far more difficult to aim their webbing at her after that due to her low-profile and high maneuverability.

"And an explosive display of retreating with a purpose by the little lady from Bounty Star. Give her a round of applause ladies and gentlemen!" said the announcer.

Samantha would have gritted her teeth and demanded justice if she were not currently formed into a ball of energy. Little lady indeed!

Kitty was forced to stop digging for Scott when a trio of the creatures skittered over to where she stood. She took up a defense stance like a tiger defending her cub while anarchy reigned in the background. Plasma bombs exploded, heroic flashes of a holy sword shined brightly in the night, and a dozen more egg sacks smashed down onto the ground as she prepared to receive her challengers.

She took up a fighting stance that held her body in profile against the oncoming monsters. Her feet spread slightly more than shoulder width apart and her claws up and ready to receive her foe. The lead beast leapt forward, its legs splayed outward as though it intended to give her a hug. Its affectionate seeming assault was defeated by a powerful jump kick that sent it flying away. Smoke began to rise up from the place where Kitty's foot struck the beast, and there was no sign of regeneration.

The cat girl unleashed an angry rrowl at the creatures then spun to the side to avoid a web shot. The evasive movement put her into the perfect position to hurl herself forward while curling into a ball. She smashed into the closest of the trio of monsters with enough force to cause it to rear back on its hind legs. Not wasting he opportunity she immediately uncurled and rocketed upward with a brutal uppercut that smashed in the weak chin of the screeching beast. Black blood and bits of destroyed flesh splattered outward as the thing's chin was torn apart by the blow.

"Do you want to play with me this badly?" asked the cat girl before she hurled herself backwards with incredible grace and precise timing. One of the remaining spider things had tried to attack her with another shot of webbing.

"It's a full moon tonight boys!" she called out, her voice evidencing a growing excitement.

The spider things rose up and screeched at her. From nearby the sound of several more of the creatures running her way could be heard. She hopped back and lowered her body to the ground, her breasts nearly brushing the asphalt while her ass stayed up in the air. Her body rocked from side-to-side a little while her tail lashed one way and then the other.

As her enemies gathered she made a derisive sniffing noise then flashed a wicked smile. "Kitty wants to play, too!" she cried before she launched herself forward like a cat pouncing on its prey.

The announcer laughed wildly and called out, "You saw it here folks. The kitty does have claws!

Kitty smiled in a playful way then lunged toward her next opponent, claws at the ready. It was nice to be appreciated!

"She's fast. She's agile. She has the biggest feet I've ever seen not on a giant! Here's hoping that someday she'll even find shoes that fit," cried the announcer. "If you can believe in miracles, folks. Start believing in one for her!"

Kitty tore the face off of one of her opponents with a brutal swipe of her claws, but she was the one in pain. Tears trickled down her cheek as the announcer's words touched a sore spot that no spider-thing had yet to reach. "So mean..." she said with a teary-eyed sniffle.

Several minutes passed as the team continued to fight their desperate battle. The number of spider abominations rose steadily despite their best efforts, matched only by the biased nature of the announcer calling their choices into question. More souls began to stream into Waldo's giant mecha, proof that his influence had grown beyond the edges of the city.

Occasionally, Chaine or Samantha would try to attack the massive monstrosity but they could do little to the rotting reptilian behemoth. The hopeless situation continued for a time, before something occurred that broke them out of their routine.

"What? Where did they come from?" asked Waldo in surprise. Three undead creatures wearing ancient medieval style armor raced around the corner. They did not come alone, either. A small horde of bony looking monkey things joined them. Strangest of all, however, was the arrival of what appeared to be an oversized scarf that slithered around like a serpent.

"It looks like the B-squad has come to join the party! Can they measure up to the needs of the embattled heroes?" asked the announcer in a curious tone.

The scarf slithered toward one of the spider things. The creature reared back on its spindly legs and prepared to strike, but stopped in place. After a brief moment of confusion the spider-thing looked down at the scarf in a manner that seemed strangely curious. Slowly, it reached down and picked up the scarf. The spider-thing regarded the scarf for a moment then pressed the fabric to its cheek. Its eyes widened slightly. Not long after, it decided to wrap the scarf around its neck to keep off the chill of the night air.

Why would an undead abomination be concerned by such things? It was impossible to know, however it was not long before the spider-thing began to screech loudly in protest as its new winter wear began to dissolve its gray flesh. The spider-thing tried to pull the scarf away, but tendrils of cloth shot out and wrapped its arms, and then its legs. Soon, the abomination was hog-tied and even its screams were muffled by a bit of cloth that chose that moment to gag the monsters mouth.

While the warm and comfortable scarf innocently played with its undead friend, the trio of undead warriors raced toward the nearest spider-thing. One wielded a sword with a shield. Another wielded a long spear. The third and largest of the group wielded a massive axe that Scott would have recognized well had he been conscious.

As though the trio had practiced the movements all of their undead lives, the shield bearer blocked a string of webbing with his shield and pressed forward. The spider-thing tried to tear the shield away with its hands a moment later, but the spear wielder stabbed downward from behind the first warrior and skewered the abomination deeply. Now held firmly in place by wield and spear, the axe soldier reared back and began chopping freely at the exposed abdomen of the gray-skinned beast.

Working in unison, the undead trio easily tore apart the abominations one at a time. They worked to pick off the stragglers or the distracted. Their status as undead allowed their weapons to cause damage to others of their kind, each of their blows that landed did great damage that greatly slowed the regenerative capacity of the spider-creatures.

The bony monkeys, forty in total, chittered wildly as they hopped and skittered toward Onion. Upon arrival, they leapt atop the screeching spider things and stabbed at them ruthlessly with their rusty knives. They did little damage to the beasts, and what damage they did accomplish healed quickly. Those wounds did not heal as quickly as a wound generated by a non-magical weapon wielded by someone who yet lived, but the attacks produced shallow damage in the first place.

Despite the weakness of their blows, their actions freed the oversized hamburger accessory and allowed him to join the fight properly once more. Onion trotted forward with thunderous steps then hurled his oversized body toward Mecha-Waldo.

The oversized onion rammed into Waldo at high-speed knocking him back a step. "Woo!" cried Onion before he smacked into the mecha once more. Much like a sumo wrestler trying to knock an opponent out of the ring, Onion made a sincere attempt to push his opponent back.

"Are we being serious right now?" asked Waldo with a laugh after the third attempt by Onion to push him back. Onion smacked into him once more, and Waldo laughed even louder. "I feel like you aren't taking me seriously right now."

Waldo checked his systems and noted that shield strength was lowered by roughly twelve percent at most throughout the entire fight, but it was completely regenerated. Even the fat idiot belly-bouncing against his chest barely registered as damage to his shield. His opponents were strong, but not even remotely strong enough to defeat him.

"It's time you fools learned the truth!" cried Waldo before his skeletal wings stabbed downward toward his rotund foe. Onion screeched in surprise as an actual sensation of intense pain reached his rotting brain. The skeletal wingtips pierced his flesh in then drove deep within his outer layers. Black and red currents of energy raced along his purple flesh as steam began to rise from his body.

"Mama!" shrieked Onion in his childlike voice, as the energy assaulted the core of his being and cooked his undead flesh.

"Your mama can't help you now," said Waldo as he laughed obnoxiously at his foe.

Dark energy ripped through the Saelil's fat pride and joy without restraint. Onion fell to undersized root knees, and his purple flesh began to take on a brown color even as his attempts to free himself lessened.

A massive bolt of force shot down from the sky. It crashed into the giant mecha with a thunderous burst of sound and fury, though most of the energy discharged harmlessly around the shield that protected the necromancer hidden within.

"Get away from him!" cried an enraged feminine voice from high above the disturbing display of indifference.

Waldo looked up to Saelil as she floated high above his head. She glowed brightly in the darkness, her body outlined brilliantly for the world to see. With a snort, he kicked the overcooked Onion away.

"Down goes fatty!" cried the announcer. Onion neither spoke nor did he try to move. He was either deader than unusual, or close to it.

Waldo ignored the commentary and drew his skeletal wings back into place. "So, the little hedge witch wants to play?"

"Play? No, the time for games has ended," she said. Saelil glowered darkly at him for the briefest of moments before she intoned words of power so vile that the very air itself began to blister in their presence.