Anticipation makes the day you're waiting for feel so close, yet so far. Patience can help negate the first, and I knew however slow the day passed the time grew nearer to the goblin conflict. However it wasn't even noon before I dropped out of the time lapse on Thursday.

Staking a fencepost into the ground; Pan had been thinking about getting some sheep from Wodri, a slightly more prosperous village to the south. They had a lot of excess firewood to sell, and it would be enough for several animals depending on the price. Pan figured wool would be a worthwhile investment, so I helped out in making the pen while I was still there. It seemed my presence did bring at least some long term benefits to the village, if indirectly.

Hammering away with some goblin clubs, the posts were smacked into the ground and the surrounding earth tamped. It was looking like a busy day, as Pan wanted the pen sturdy, yet large enough for them to expand the herd later on. Most everyone else was working on more immediate business, but I happily worked away alone. Like Ralph, if it meant getting things done, company wasn’t needed. Then, over the stream on the side with the houses, I spotted a rather large group of white robed figures, accompanied by a horse and cart.

Depending on the outcome, things might just be quite busy today.

I quickly retrieved my haramaki from Inventory and slipped it over myself. Being able to detect magic wasn’t common, but neither was it impossible. Lyssa warned me to always wear it around the Church, on the off chance that they could and it seemed like sound advice. I didn’t want to be taken away because they thought they could get a bounty for me.

The bounty system didn’t really encourage magic users to register, as the result would usually be the same either way; service to the church. For the most part, it just helped create animosity towards mages and keep them suppressed. I managed to get out of it because I was able to make connections. Well, if I didn’t think that was possible, I wouldn’t have revealed I was a mage in the first place, but that would have been even less fun than hiding my Necromancy powers all the time.

Lyssa made no mention of paladins or clerics being able to detect certain types of magic, but it would probably be safer to shy away from the incoming troop. Being safe is for suckers and sidecharacters though, so I headed back over the stream to observe.

The group was comprised of 10 members. Six wore a metal armor over their robes, formed from metal bands, it looked like a lorica segmata focused on the chest, with only one large plate for each shoulder. Strapped to their backs were very pointy longswords swords. That may seem a bit facetious, but the hilt was conic, and the guard looked like two little daggers sticking out from the sides. While not magical, these were at least actual high quality weapons.

Spread two to the front and back, and one to each side, I suspected these were the paladins. Scowling, even from a distance, I could tell they existed in a perpetual state of malcontence. Hopefully nothing would need to be done about them.

Possibly the cause of their unhappiness, two of the other were dressed with a second cloth wrapped around their robes; starting at the left waist, over the right shoulder, under the left armpit, and around front to terminate at the right waist, it dangled down to the knee area hidden under their robes. They were probably regular clerics, but I was cautious in case they were sound ninja, because it was held together by a cord around the waist, although the knot wasn’t quite as physics defying.

The clerics really brought out the impression of large and in charge. Mastering the Young Master walk, they both appeared too relaxed and too stern in their movements at once. Looking quite pleased with themselves, they each carried a strange mace/polearm combination. About five feet tall and able to be used as a walking stick, the bottom spread out into a flanged mace; each had a different top, the one with darker brown hair had a hook, while the weapon of the one with a chinstrap beard stuck up an additional foot as a sword or poorly designed glaive.

The final two were just teamster suckers watching over the cart. They were dressed in the robes of a Disciple, but they looked like they were just along to care for the animals and load the wagon, so they were suckers.

Moving at a decent clip, the two horse cart looked unladen. They probably worked outskirts in to collect taxes so they didn’t have to double back at the end. A fairly obvious choice of action, but an interesting emergent property made necessary by possible spoilage. The clerics were along to help prevent that though.

As they entered, I watched their movements from my stone amphitheatre, a little ways back from the road, but it wasn’t as if there were any obstructions in the way. So it didn’t seem as though I was observing them, I decided to start plucking a chikan. A mage shouldn’t just stare at the oppressing entity, also having some grilled chikan sounded nice.

Torn a bit between wanting something interesting to happen and not wanting anything unfortunate to happen to the village; I felt a bit of relief as they began to pass through, even if it would be a bit boring. Of course I wouldn’t bring this up if nothing at all had happened.

“What do you mean, we’re in the wrong place?” Cleric Hook shouted in disbelief. I’d missed the previous bit of conversation, much like they seemed to have missed a fork in the road. They were pretty obvious though, so how they managed to do that was unknown. Nonetheless, Hook shouted as if he hadn’t missed a blatantly obvious turnoff as well.

“I told you that we should have taken the road to Gio, but you wouldn’t listen, would you? I’m surprised you managed to learn any Scriptures at all. I guess with nothing in your head, there’s a lot of room for them.”

“By the Patriarch, one of these days I’ll make sure you end up a paladin.” The paladins around Hook glared, but didn’t turn to confront him. It seems the clerics were much higher ranking than expected. Or rather, there were different divisions a Disciple could take, as there was a choice between Vara and Disciple, where one was at least socially seen as lower. In any case, the paladins did not dare voice their complaint.

“Get the horses some water, grab whatever they have here to eat, and we’re turning around. You have half an hour.”

The Disciples unhitched the horses and meekly led them to the stream. Hook and the sassy cleric bickered as they proudly stood back, and the paladins gazed around the village, with one who retained some of his confidence noticing me plucking chikans. Narrowing his eye, a grim smile spread across his face, as he stormed over like rolling thunder.

At least, the paladin seemed to think so, given his saunter. Unfortunately he had a habit of awkwardly rolling his shoulder to the cadence of his steps to avoid what was likely a defect in his lorica. Nevertheless, there was no lack of misplaced self-assuredness in his steps.

“A registered mage out in the sticks?”

“Greetings honorable paladin. I am humbled you take the time to speak with me.” Sounding ecstatic that he was speaking to me, I was mostly trying to suppress my laughter. Dressed up in armor and trying to look menacing, the sounds that came out of his mouth were practically soprano. Man, that poor sap, no wonder he was trying so hard to be intimidating.

“I’ll humble you some more. Finish your business, and roast that chikan up for me. You can go magic up some food for yourself.”

“I will gladly serve a meal for one of the Patriarch’s chosen. I can only hope it is to your tastes.” Speaking in an obsequious manner, I wondered if he’d have me killed. Well my nerves were calm and I sang a song, to myself at least. Finishing plucking the chikan, the paladin watched over me impatiently. Heading to the stream to wash the blood off, I stealthily used . Not wanting to use magic blatantly in front of the paladin, I was also still too lazy to do it by hand.

Bringing the chikan back, I quickly went and stuck it it over a makeshift spit. Spinning it close to the coals, another paladin spotted the tasty meal I was making. Shuffling over, the new arrival spoke with a salted fish hanging out the side of his mouth.

“Oh dang man, chikan? I wish I got some of that.” In a muffled voice, the paladin with a surprisingly straight haircut across his forehead spoke with the fish still clenched in his teeth. “Hey mage, why don’t you magic me up some for me too? Or I can just take this guys share.”

“Stein, I will roast you to death if you don’t back off. This is mine.”

“The man who was once pride of the Church shouldn’t be acting like that, it’s unbecoming.” Oh man, this group of tax collectors was just filled with sassy people. I tried not to be too openly interested in their petty squabbles.

“Can’t say I’m surprised you ended up in this position. There’s no way even your mother could keep you from turning out like this, collecting taxes.” Falsetto spat, luckily not towards the meal in progress. Well, since he’d be eating it there would be no problems anyway.

“It’s not like I’m—” The fish vanished down Stein’s throat and he continued “—upset with how things are. You’re the one who called himself ‘Budding Clover Theo’. We’re way better off than a guy like this that’s been abandoned by the Patriarch.”

Chuckling at Theo, he leaned over to the spit to tear off an undercooked leg for himself. Naturally in his carelessness, the spit started to topple over. Not sure if the grumpy paladin would rather me touch his food with my hands or magic, I went with hands. They were super clean anyway. Keeping the chikan out of the ashes, silent s kept the ashes away. Carefully resetting the sticks, I apologized.

“It seems I did not make the spit sturdy enough. My apologies for troubling the honorable paladins.”

“Hah, see? I don’t have to bow and scrape all day. That’s enough for me, even if we are stripped paladins.” Stein laughed and tore into the end of the leg, taking off bone as well as meat. “I’ll leave you to your meal, Little T.”

Turns out paladins can be Chaotic Neutral as well. Leaving in a jolly mood, he left his fuming compatriot with me. That was not very kind of him. Still, all his useless banter gave me a bit of insight. The paladins chosen to go taxing the peasants were in the demotion sector. That probably explained why so many of them acted out so much, they were pretty much already a terrible lot in the first place and then disenfranchised further.

The clerics seemed to be along because they would actually be needed for the ‘blessings’. I suppose if they were out, they might as well make it not be a total farce, but Hook didn’t seem like the kind to put much effort into blessing peasants. Sassy McSwordstick might, but he seemed to do most things on a whim; the idea of clerics giving blessings was probably bunk.

“Alright, hurry it up!”

“Yeah, let’s get a move on guys. We’ve got to turn alllll the way back now because we decided not to turn at Gio; it was a bad decision but let’s make up for lost time.”

The sound of metal clashed, Hook’s weapon bore down on Sassy but his swordstick had already moved to block it. Apparently it was only a single exchange of frustration, and not the beginnings of a fight. My eyebrows rose, noting there was no damage to either weapon. Unfortunately, I didn’t have time to study it further, as the Event concluded: Lose 1 Chikan(s).

I still had more than I needed, and just set out to make another. The smell from cooking had made me hungry.