《Glitched! Uplift Arc》CHAPTER 4 GLITCHED! Support Ticket Summary
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Selected Tutorial: 7912
Elapsed Time: 48.45 earth hours
Number of Volunteers: 20,000,000,000 - mandatory minimum threshold achieved
Successfully Uplifted Participants: 16,879,426,006
Grading Percentage: 84.4% - Excellent
Support Tickets Generated: 1,130,921
Grading Percentage: 0.0067% - Excellent
Resolved Support Tickets: 1,066,119
Grading Percentage: 94.3% - Below Average
Cameo POV - [System Sub-Manager Zorb.68710]
Things were progressing nicely and we were on track for completing the integration of this new species nicely. These humans were interesting organisms. Somehow they had survived long enough, despite their somewhat violent and self destructive tendencies, to reach the crucial milestone. Of course they were nowhere near the worst in this respect. The participants from Sector 2369 were significantly more violent, and the previous participants from this Sector were a complete disaster.
Looking back through the archives I was surprised to see that it was the same planet last time. That was such an exceedingly small probability it didn’t even register. Just goes to show that some things just can’t be predicted. Out of interest I dug into the records. Ahhh, here in the executive summary it states that the genetic criteria for uplift was too wide and thus the whole iteration was compromised. That age old problem of sapience vs sentience. Getting it wrong was catastrophic.
Hmmmmm, getting back to the matter at tendril I noticed the resolution of our support tickets was well below par. This should be tracking well above 99.99%.
I flicked up some more details… total of 64,802 open tickets. Who wasn’t paying attention? I was going to blow some serious wattage up their… Oh... whoops, that's me. I had inadvertently silenced my message notifications. This was not going to be good. I opened the link with some trepidation.
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Just the single instance has raised all these…. I paused trying to grapple with this baffling intelligence. I wasn’t sure whether this was a good thing or a bad thing but it certainly was the last thing I expected. It was beyond strange, the problem tutorial had been running for 18 hours actual? This was simply unheard of. Using the local valuation of time these instanced tutorials should run for between 6 and 9 minutes each with an elapsed subjective time of approximately 180 to 270 days. Taking into account the time compression this one had been running for… I paused again, not quite believing my senses… 32,400 subjective days?… or 90 years give or take a year.
Oh no, I was in so much slime.
Time to escalate and take my medicine.
…
Extraordinary System meeting
Selected Tutorial: 7912
Elapsed Time: 48.49hours
Subject: Resolution of Faulty Orientation Instance 7912.9,020,068,412
Status: Ongoing
System Admin Resources Allocated: 0.00000001%
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
~SysAdmin Zorb.367~
~SysAdmin Zorb.2457~ Interjects.
Clause 347
All participants are to be afforded full rights and responsibilities of a full [System Entity] and as such are to be treated with dignity and protected to the full extent of System parameters given:
Each participant is solely responsible for their own actions or lack thereof. Such forementioned actions or inactions may result in death of themselves or others. All actions or inactions have impact and rewards are to be assigned based on standard System parameters modified by Clause 645 as applicable.
~SysAdmin Zorb.367~
~SysAdmin Zorb.2457~
~SysAdmin Zorb.367~
~SysAdmin Zorb.2457~
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
>
>NAME:
Totally Awesome Dude
[Blank]
>SPECIES:
>TIER:
Human
H
>XP:
>EXP:
0
0/0
>LVL:
0
>CON:
0HP
[Expand?]
>WIS:
0MP
[Expand?]
>KAR:
0E
[Expand?]
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>LUC:
1
>SKILLS:
None
>PATHS:
None
>PERKS:
None
>TITLES:
None
>AWARDS:
None
~SysAdmin Zorb.367~
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
>
>NAME:
Totally Awesome Dude
[Blank]
>SPECIES:
>TIER:
Human
H
>XP:
>EXP:
0
0
>LVL:
0
>CON:
0HP
STR: STA: AGI:
[Hide]
1 1 1
>WIS:
0MP
MEM: IMA: INT:
[Hide]
1 1 1
>KAR:
0E
CHA: SPI: HON:
[Hide]
1 10* 1
>LUC:
1
[Total:]
[19]
>SKILLS:
None
>PATHS:
None
>PERKS:
None
>TITLES:
None
>AWARDS:
None
~SysAdmin Zorb.2457~
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
~SysAdmin Zorb.2457~
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
System Admin Resources Allocated: 0.00000018%
~SysSectorMod Zorb.17~
~SysAdmin Zorb.367~
~SysSectorMod Zorb.17~
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
>
>NAME:
Totally Awesome Dude
[Blank]
>SPECIES:
>TIER:
Human
H
>XP:
>EXP:
0
0/0
>LVL:
0
>CON:
0HP
STR: STA: AGI:
[Hide]
1 20* 1
>WIS:
0MP
MEM: IMA: INT:
[Hide]
1 5 1
>KAR:
0E
CHA: SPI: HON:
[Hide]
1 10* 1
>LUC:
-99
Total:
-74
>SKILLS:
None
>PATHS:
None
>PERKS:
None
>TITLES:
None
>AWARDS:
None
~SysAdmin Zorb.2457~
~SysAdmin Zorb.367~ Interrupts
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
~SysSectorMod Zorb.17~
~SysAdmin Zorb.2457~
~SysAdmin Zorb.367~
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
~SysSectorMod Zorb.17~
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
…
~SysAdmin Zorb.2457~
~SysFacilitator Zorb.156~
>
>NAME:
Totally Awesome Dude
[Blank]
>SPECIES:
>TIER:
Human
G
>XP:
>EXP:
1000
100/100
>LVL:
1
>CON:
60HP
STR: STA: AGI:
[Hide]
3 20 3
[Variance]
+2 +0 +2
>WIS:
15MP
MEM: IMA: INT:
[Hide]
3 5 3
[Variance]
+2 +0 +2
>KAR:
30E
CHA: SPI: HON:
[Hide]
3 10 3
[Variance]
+2 +0 +2
>LUC:
0.1
+100
Unassigned:
Total:
6
59.1
>SKILLS:
None
>PATHS:
Nasal Prospector Class (Pending acceptance)
>PERKS:
Gallifreudian Slip (Pending acceptance)
>TITLES:
Pertinacious (Pending acceptance)
>AWARDS:
Atelophobia Award (Pending acceptance)
~SysAdmin Zorb.367~
Extraordinary System meeting ended
Selected Tutorial: 7912
Elapsed Time: 48.50hours
Subject: Resolution of Faulty Orientation Instance 7912.9,020,068,412
Status: Resolved / Closed
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