“Just proceed up the stairs to meet Madam Rose,” the flowerpot holding a bunch of wilted roses by the entrance said. Its face consisted of only a mouth and a nose. “And don’t forget to take off your shoes.”

“I’m not wearing shoes,” Khrx said.

The flowerpot’s smile froze. Its lips flattened into a straight line. “Then would you like some?” it asked. “Open the storage cabinet beneath me, be careful of the teeth along the handles, and choose a pair. Oh, silly me. Do this after you’re about to leave, but do select a pair of slippers to wear inside the house.” The flowerpot sighed and muttered to itself, “It’s a shame he’ll never get to leave.”

Khrx ignored the ominous words and choose a pair of white bunny slippers because they were the only ones that look liked they’d fit. He closed the cabinet and placed the slippers on the ground. When he was about to slide his foot in, the slippers giggled, causing the rattling sounds of teeth clacking to echo through the room. A cooing voice came out of the bunny’s mouth, “Don’t worry. I don’t bite. …Hard.”

Khrx squinted at the slippers. To his surprise, a floating screen popped up.

[Item acquired: Friendly Mimic Slippers]

[Another two sets of eyes and ears are always nice. +3 Perception.

Unfortunately, it comes at a cost. -1 Constitution.

Note: Friendly Mimic Slippers will eat your toes if you take them off.

Requirements: Intelligence must be 3 or less to equip.]

Without hesitation, Khrx slipped his feet into the slippers. Three stats for the cost of one? Only an idiot would refuse an offer like that. Something bit down on his nails, chewing them like a set of nail clippers. Khrx nodded to himself. The slippers even came with a free pedicure. He wiggled his toes and shivered as something moist brushed under, over, and around them, licking them thoroughly clean. Okay, now it was getting weird, but it was too late to reverse his decision. Khrx tapped on the flowerpot, causing its mouth and nose to reappear. He asked, “Is the duchess the final boss?”

The flowerpot’s nostrils flared and unflared. “Final boss? What’s that?”

“Err, strongest person in this place,” Khrx said.

“Why, of course,” the flowerpot said. “If not her, then whom?”

Khrx grunted while nodding. “Then,” he said, “can you teach me a way to find her?”

“Oh, that’s easy. Just go up the stairs,” the flowerpot said until you reach the very top. “It’s impossible to get lost on the way unless Stairster plays a prank on you.”

“No, no, no,” Khrx said, shaking his head. “That wasn’t what I was asking. Can you teach me a way to find her? Like a tracking ability.”

The flowerpot pursed its lips. “Sir. I’m a pot.”

Khrx tilted his head. “So you can’t?”

“I can only teach you how to identify flowers based on smell,” the flowerpot said. “I suppose I can also teach you how to not ask insensitive questions.” The pot sighed and clicked its tongue. “My word, asking a flowerpot if she can partake in an activity that requires limbs. Just how are children being raised these days?”

Khrx wrinkled his nose. Was he being talked down on by a flowerpot? Well, a skill was a skill. Maybe Fufu would be impressed when he identified flowers for her. “I want to learn,” he said.

“Oh, sure,” the flowerpot said. “Since you’re the duchess’ guest and all. Just put your nose in my mouth.”

[Quest acquired!]

[The talking flowerpot is going to teach you a skill! Just put your nose in her mouth. She promises not to bite.]

[Rewards: A skill.]

Khrx stared at the quest screen. Then he glanced at the flowerpot, which was waiting with its mouth wide open, rows of pointed teeth above and below. “How about a finger…?” Khrx asked. He had ten fingers but only one nose. It was obvious which one he could afford to lose.

“You’re going to smell flowers with your finger?” the flowerpot asked. “This technique requires a nose. If you put a finger in here, I’ll bite it off out of spite.”

Khrx sighed. “Alright,” he said. The quest screen never explicitly lied to him before. If it promised the flowerpot wasn’t going to bite him, then it wasn’t going to bite him. He stood on his tiptoes and placed his nose into the flowerpot’s waiting mouth.

Like a bear trap, the flowerpot’s teeth snapped shut.

Tears sprang into Khrx’s eyes as he let out a nasally yowl. “What the hell!?” he shouted as he clapped his hands onto the flowerpot, shattering it instantly. He pried the pieces off of his bleeding nose and tossed them onto the ground.

[Quest complete!]

[I lied. Teehee.]

[Skill acquired: No Nose Knows Knowledge like Your Nose Knows]

[Rarity: Legendary]

[Active: If you smell a flower, it will tell you its species name along with its personal name.]

“It lied to me!” Khrx shouted, stamping his feet on the ground. His slippers let out a pained cry and nibbled on his toes in response. Khrx looked down. “Oh, sorry about that.”

The shards of the flowerpot wriggled and squirmed before hopping back together. “How rude. How very rude,” the flowerpot said after fully reforming. “All I did was impart a skill on you—that you begged me for, mind you. Kids these days, so ungrateful. Humph.”

Khrx narrowed his eyes at the flowerpot before shaking his head. He wasn’t going to argue with something that didn’t even have any limbs. But how was he supposed to find his tracking skill now? The guide clearly said it was required for finding the final boss of the dungeon, but the flowerpot had told him the way to the final boss, invalidating his need for the skill. But didn’t the flowerpot say someone named Stairster could play a prank on him to make him lost? Mm, for now, he’d do his best to act like someone worth playing a prank on while he traveled up the stairs. But how was he supposed to do that?

Khrx approached the steps of the stairs and frowned. He was a dragon, the most dignified being in the world. Who would play a prank on a dragon? He walked up the first step of the stairs and fell face first to the ground as the staircase receded by five feet in an instant.

A pair of eyes appeared on the staircase as the lower steps contorted into a mouth. It grinned at Khrx as he climbed to his elbows and knees. “Too slow!”

“Gah! I’ll teach you to play a prank on me!” Khrx roared as he pounced towards the steps.

[Quest acquired!]

[Catch Stairster, the stair mimic, within a minute. He won’t bite you! I promise.]

[Rewards: Unknown.]