A few minutes later, the other side of the ocean of lamentation appeared. It was nothing like the coast with the white sand and waiting dogs. The ground was black—it was hard to differentiate where the ocean ended and the land began. Hundreds of people were standing in orderly rows, waiting in front of a massive stone structure that resembled a gate. Perched on top of the gate, there was a giant three-headed cat basking in an orange glow coming off a nearby light source. Its tail dangled from the stone and occasionally knocked the waiting people off their feet.

“We’ve arrived,” Rochna said as the raft jolted to a halt. “Don’t forget to tell the lord good things about me.” He waved his hand into the air. “Hey!”

Khrx raised his head. From the void, a winged shadow dove downwards, crashing onto the shore with an oomph. The shadow wriggled and rose, taking the form of a fat blob with arms. The blob gurgled as a line appeared across its center and flapped open. “Rochna?” Laughing sounds escaped from the blob as it quivered. “You can speak?”

Rochna lifted Khrx by the back of his neck and tossed him in front of the blob. “A gift for the lord.” Without waiting for the blob to reply, he pushed off the coast with his bony oar, traveling back across the ocean of lamentation.

The blob reached forward and patted Khrx, smearing him with black grease.

“Gah!” Khrx shuddered as his ears and tails pressed flat against his body. “Get your grubby hands off me! Who said you could touch?”

The blob froze and retracted its arms. It burbled while crawling around him in a circle, leaving a trail of ooze on the ground. “Really a gift for the lord,” the blob said after circling around Khrx three times. For some reason, Khrx couldn’t move during the process. The blob rubbed its hands over Khrx again, but this time, the black grease disappeared, leaving him pristine, though a bit ruffled. “Follow me, little gift. You can call me Esaesid. I maintain order in front of the entrance to the underworld.”

The blob inched towards the group of waiting people. They parted to let it through, none of them saying a word as Khrx followed behind it. Khrx passed a family of four, who were huddling together. He passed dozens of people who were missing limbs. A group of hundred or so had their skin and flesh burnt off. The causes of death were obvious from a glance: an old man with a knife stuck in his chest, two kids with gashes in their necks, a man with a spike driven through his forehead.

Khrx’s brow furrowed. “Doesn’t anyone die peacefully?”

The blob shuddered as it laughed. “My colleague, Regna, has a perverse hobby. He makes those who were killed wait for their killer to arrive to, as he puts it, enjoy the show. The ones who die peacefully are given priority.”

The blob passed through the final line of people. Ahead of him, at the gate, there was an old man with three eyes sitting at a desk. Khrx hadn’t realized it earlier because he was too far, but the stone gate was actually made of thousands upon thousands of file cabinets stacked together. A woman was standing in front of the desk, waiting with her hands clasped in front of her lap. The three-eyed clerk was reading a piece of paper while his third eye stared at the woman.

“This is Egadlo,” the blob said, pointing at the old man. The blob crawled up to the desk and pushed the woman away, causing her to fall over and scream.

“Esaesid,” the old man said with a sigh. “You’re supposed to maintain order, not destroy it.”

“This is a gift for the lord,” the blob said, gesturing towards Khrx. “Rochna told me. With words.”

The old man’s third eye widened as he rose to his feet, peering over the desk to get a better look. “You want me to process him first?”

“What processing?” the blob said with a snort that sounded like a fart. “He’s going straight to the lord.” The blob leaned forward and whispered, or tried to but failed, “Don’t you want to give him a gift? So he can praise you in front of the lord when she asks.”

The old man’s face contorted, taking a righteous expression. “I am an upright man,” he said as he walked around his desk. “How dare you suggest I’d ever bribe someone?” He smacked Khrx’s forehead. “Look! Even if he’s cute, I will do my duties as necessary.”

[Egadlo’s touch can age someone thousands of years in a single instant. Only the fortunate can live to describe the experience. +5 Luck.]

The old man coughed. “Isn’t that right?” he asked Khrx before walking back around to his desk. “I’m a very straightforward, no nonsense, and upright man.”

Khrx rubbed his forehead and nodded. “Uh-huh.”

“Oh? So sneaky,” the blob said with a chuckle. “Give me a hug, little gift, before you step beyond the gate. It’ll be worth it.”

“No thanks,” Khrx said, taking a step back. Just being touched by the blob made him feel violated. Hugging it? He’d rather die.

“That wasn’t a suggestion,” the blob said as it lurched forward. Khrx was rooted in place as the blob approached. “It was an order.” The blob surged around Khrx, cocooning him within itself. Khrx struggled and flailed his limbs, but he couldn’t break free of the blob. Khrx squirmed and tried to swim free, but in the end, he couldn’t help but gasp for breath within the blob’s body, swallowing a thick viscous slime. No way in hell was he going to give the blob a good review.

[Esaesid is the personification of the plague. Who can say they survived his embrace but you?]

[Skill acquired: Poison Incarnate]

[Rarity: Mythic]

[Passive: Poison? You drink that for breakfast. Consuming poison heals you. Your blood is poisonous. Your spit is poisonous. Your pee is poisonous. Everything is poison.]

[Active: Toggle the passive on or off.]

[Cooldown: None.]

The blob vomited Khrx out of its body a second later. Khrx wiped away the layer of goop from his eyes and blinked at the rectangles floating ahead of him. Never mind. The blob deserved praise no matter how disgusting that experience was. The blob’s hands ran over Khrx’s body, cleaning him. It looked up and spoke into the void, “Regna, don’t you want the lord to hear good words about you as well?”

A red lightning bolt rained down from the void and struck Khrx’s tail. He yelped and jumped three feet into the air before landing on his butt.

[Regna’s a bit sadistic. How would he give a blessing without causing pain? +5 Strength. +5 Constitution. -5 Intelligence. +5 Dexterity. +5 Charm.]

Khrx whimpered as he crawled onto his knees. Did everyone have to abuse him to give him blessings? He didn’t want the blessings anymore. And what was this intelligence reduction!? Could his intelligence even drop below 1? Before he could open his status to check, another lightning bolt flew down, striking his tail once again.

[Lightning never strikes the same place twice. Unless it’s your tail. Does that make you lucky or unlucky? +5 Luck.]

Khrx sighed as he lay on his back, his limbs splayed, smoke drifting up from his tail. Dragons were lucky. That was a fact. But why wasn’t he so sure of that anymore?