Chapter 66 – Carefully Constructed Lies

“I’m not ready for this; not even a little bit.” I mutter as I start pacing back and forth. It’s an odd thing to say considering all the stress I’ve been under during these last three months, but I’d much rather fight off the entire Dark Pegasus Guild in nothing but my undergarments than have my family hanging around me ingame. Especially my sister.

It didn’t even take more than a few seconds from me messaging her until she demanded I meet them. In the middle of the noob zone, no less. Because where else would she want to meet? It’s where they are stuck for the next night or two anyway. Luckily for me: I know a way inside. Unluckily for me: I can’t bring any of my fighters with me as they would get slaughtered attempting to cross into the zone through the only gate connecting the peninsula to the rest of the city. I’m really uncomfortable with running around without any muscle, but it’s not too bad. Apart from the one Perception specced player at the gate, there shouldn’t be anyone with a Perception level high enough to threaten my identity within these walls. I could get unlucky of course, but my ring would at least give me a ten minutes warning to run off and hide.

One of the more disappointing parts about coming here means that I can’t stay back at the hideout and direct my underlings. Seeing as I now have two Lieutenants, the four Agents just don’t provide enough jobs for them to share during a day. They have to work together performing the last heist, but at least this one is ranked hard difficulty and could really benefit from having two Lieutenants there anyway. Geez. I didn’t really expect I would already need to recruit more Beggars. To think I was worried I recruited too many of them just a couple of days ago. How silly life can turn out sometimes.

At least I managed to pull off a lot of information from the internet. I held out a slim hope, but I’m sad to say that the news about hidden grinding zones beneath every major city with a population above two thousand NPCs have spread far and wide. It’s all over on the news sites, forums, and the Wikipedias already, which is impressive since it all originated from a seemingly anonymous forum post only five hours ago. One should never underestimate the power of information flow on the greatest social experiment on anarchy ever to be created; also known as the internet.

It’s a pity, but not unexpected. At least my search for ideas to lose pursuers in the city paid off. I just need to make a few preparations, but that shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours. The game is amazingly realistic and flexible in potential solutions to problems, and one can get really far with imagination alone. Just like the heavily enchanted steel grate I’m currently sneaking past far beneath the noob district.

With the help of my two Swindlers, getting into the noob zone is as simple as it was getting out. As soon as I teleport past the grate, the rest of my journey is uneventful. I did have a slight worry that Pug, the sleeping elite murderhobo who lives down here would be a nuisance, but even that turned out fine. Apparently, even the players who just started the game read forums, and the biggest obstacle I face is trying not to step in the filthy pile of rags that appears to be Pug’s sleeping quarters, its owner already long dead from roaming players. They’re everywhere it seems. I think I pass six players on the short five minute trip from the steel grate all the way up to the alley behind Joe’s tavern. The player density down here is insane, really. There is no way there is enough experience to go around for more than three squads of players down here, maybe four if you’re pushing it. It’s terribly inefficient otherwise. I digress, it’s probably still better than doing social quests for two days straight I suppose.

Joe’s tavern, a weathered old building with a charming sign depicting a mug of ale in the mouth of a gaping pig looks exactly as it did nearly two weeks ago. Not that I expected anything different. I’m sure it’ll look exactly the same two hundred years from now as well, assuming the game is still running that is.

I enter through the back door for old time’s sake and soon find myself in the sparsely populated building. Joe is standing at his customary spot behind the bar, wiping a mug with a dirty rag. “You won’t get any customers if you ignore all the health code violations you are racking up, Joe.” I chuckle as I pass him, heading for my customary corner booth.

“Fuck off, kid.” Joe grunts without stopping his futile cleaning project. “Buy something or get the hell out of here. This ain’t no charity.”

“Sure, sure. I’ll take a pint of ale in the cleanest mug you have.” I say with a mock salute, throwing a couple of copper coins his way.

Deftly snatching the coins out of the air, he grunts. “You will drink whatever the fuck I serve you.” He reaches for a mug beneath the bar before he fills it from a keg that’s resting on the countertop. The dense white foam leaks over the edge as he slams the mug onto the counter. “You can come over here and pick it up yourself because of that pissy attitude.” He growls.

“No problem, Joe. Don’t expect any tips though.” I chuckle as I get up to retrieve it. Perhaps it’s because of our little meeting earlier, but Joe just doesn’t really scare me that much anymore. Sure, he is powerful enough to kill me with the tip of his pinky, but after the week I’ve had, I feel pretty damn confident the man won’t hurt me unless I physically attack him first. We’re allies now after all; fickle as our bond may be.

I keep my eyes glued to the door while I gently sip from my ale. To be safe, I’ve placed a Swindler near the back of the building, ready for me to trade places with in case something bad were to happen. I may be paranoid, but being paranoid is a virtue when everyone is out to get you.

It doesn’t take long until the front door opens and a beautiful elven woman enters followed by a scruffy-looking human man. I only need to give them both a single glance before I wave them over. Really. Can those two be more predictable? Who else but those two would choose to play as a Scandinavian Disney princess and the most ordinary-looking human to ever walk upon the face of the earth? Hell, even Cobra’s character has more distinct features. How did dad even manage to do that? Is it some super-secret special skill only available to middle-aged men with grumpy attitudes? Geezes. He should ask for his money back.

“Oh, come on Ryan. Seriously?” Allison smirks as she slides into the booth opposite me. “You’re a damn midget? Wow. As if picking on you wasn’t easy enough to begin with…”

“It’s called a halfling.” I say. “And for your information: I chose it because its racial traits are perfect for my class.”

She snorts loudly. “Looking like that, it can’t hardly be worth it.”

Ignoring the digital ignoramus, I take a deep swig from my mug of ale. “It’s nice to see you dad.”

My dad nods in return, his eyes firmly locked on the mug in my hand. “Got any more of those? I don’t seem to have any money.”

I chuckle. “Of course! Oy, Joe! Can I get another mug of ale for my friend over here?”

“Hey, what gives! Buy one for me too!” Allison shouts as she reaches across the table and punches me in the shoulder. “You should treat your favourite sister with respect.” She huffs, giving me a fake pout.

“I’ll think about it.” I smirk.

If Allison has one redeeming quality, it is the fact that she can turn any awkward situation into an annoying situation. Which is good. Awkward is a hundred times worse than annoying. Annoyance breeds sarcasm; sarcasm breeds interaction; interaction breeds enthusiasm; and enthusiasm breeds enjoyment, which in turn goes back to annoyance again at some point. It’s the circle of family interaction. It’s a real thing you know. Look it up in any textbook on sociology, I dare you!

Perhaps having them around won’t be as bad as I feared. I feel like just these last thirty seconds of interaction alone has helped me lower my shoulders and lessen my mental strain. Humans are social creatures by nature, and it feels good to bring some normalcy back to my solitary new lifestyle. The two may not be experienced gamers with a lot to offer, but their presence alone helps tremendously. I can’t help but wonder what they will accomplish in this game?

[High Elf Apothecary - SupaSisSixtyNiner(1)]

[Human Warrior - Aaron Daniels(1)]

I resist the urge to facepalm, hard. Of course my dad decided to use his real name. Because why wouldn’t he? Old people, am I right? At least Allison’s choice of a class is a tad more interesting though.

“Apothecary? That’s certainly an unconventional class. What brought that one on?”

Allison’s lips strain at my question. “Don’t get me started. It’s utter bullshit I tell you! I was of half a mind to call customer support and give them an earful about their idiotic class system. Can you believe it? They have almost a hundred and fifty different classes, and an Apothecary is the only healing class that isn’t based on religion, tree-hugging, or satan worshipping? Like, are you fucking serious? One would think this backwater medieval game could have at least a handful of classes based on science, but no. They had to go the village bumpkin route. I mean, really. An Apothecary isn’t even a real doctor!” She slams her hand on the table, her eyes narrowing as they try to stare a hole through me as if this is somehow my fault.

“Ehm, it’s not that bad though, is it? The class offers a lot of versatility and powerful abilities…” I say, trying my best to break eye contact with my crazy sister.

“No, I can’t argue with that.” She says through gritted teeth. “But the most powerful skills cost crafting reagents to use! It’s a scam!”

“Well, yeah. They do cost a bit, but that’s only a few of the abilities though. They should more than make up for their cost in sheer power. You still have plenty of other skills you can use for free.” I say, trying to calm her down before she turns this into my problem.

“That’s not good enough.” She says bluntly, her eyes narrowing. “But say, little brother. You have been playing this game for a while now…” Ah, shit. Here we go. “... which means you should have plenty of gold to help your poor sister out with a few purchases.” She starts grinning.

“I don’t think-”

“Ba, pa, pa!” She interrupts me. “You may be too proud to accept my money to pay for rent, but I don’t have such limitations when it comes to family, little brother.” Her grin intensifies. “So I appreciate your patronage in advance. Please take care of me!”

I give her a deadpanned stare. “No.”

“Dad?” Allison says with a sweet voice. The very same voice that mom used to have whenever hell was about to break loose. Low blow, Allison.

“Ryan! Be nice to your sister.” Dad chimes in from the side. Wait. Where did he get that second ale from? And who paid for it?

“Seriously! I’m not paying for all your damn expenses- DAD! Stop that! You’ve already had two!” I shout while grabbing his raised arm.

He waves me off. “What? I paid for your breakfast the other day. You can spare a couple of fake coins for your old man. Hey! Waiter! One more, please! Oh, and do you have any food?”

I groan as I bury my face in my arms. I regret everything I said earlier. Having them here is a mistake. A catastrophe, even.

“Oh, come on Ryan. Stop sulking.” Allison pats me on the head. “Didn’t you say you came into a lot of money recently?”

“Not enough to feed you two gluttons.”

She guffaws. “Don’t sweat the small stuff, little brother. Why so serious? I thought you were following your dream here. If so, then why are you moping around so much?”

I sigh. “It’s not like that. I do have fun, it’s just that I’m under a lot of pressure right now.”

She shrugs. “Then tell us about it. Maybe we can help! You’re up for that, right pops?” Dad grunts in affirmation, working his way deeper into his third mug of ale as well as a plate of boiled clams. I didn’t even know Joe served food here.

I let out a weak smile. “Thanks for the offer, but this is something I have to deal with myself. I appreciate the sentiment, but my demons are outleveling all three of us combined.”

“Oh? I was meaning to ask about that. How come you’re only level fourteen after playing for what? Three months? I admit, I don’t know much about this game, but that seems to be awfully low… even for someone as incompetent as you.” She smirks.

“That’s a long story I’d rather not tell.” I shake my head while reaching for one of the boiled clams I’m apparently paying for. “Bottom line is that I had to start from scratch a week and a half ago. I’ve run into a series of lucrative possibilities, but also twice the amount of problems. I’ll handle it though. I always do.”

She gives me a flat stare. “Really, Ryan? You’re dropping the biggest tease to end all teases and then you won’t elaborate? Seriously. Not cool bro.”

I snort. “Let’s just say it involved a Villain.”

“Villains? I heard about those.” Dad chips in from the side. “They’re the bad guys in this game, right?”

“Uhm, yeah. Sort of. Amongst many other things.”

He gives me his rapt attention, which I find unusual. The only time dad ever looks this serious is when the topic of conversation is either work or bacon.

“Then that will be my goal in this game.” He says while nodding. “Someone needs to arrest them.”

I groan, pinching my nose. “It doesn’t really work that way here, dad. You don’t arrest anyone. You kill them for rewards and they try to do the same to you in turn. There is no such thing as true crime in this game, just opposite perspectives to add excitement and variety.”

“They break the laws, don’t they?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Then that settles it. It’s my sworn duty to uphold the law within her majesty’s kingdom.”

“But we’re not even in England!” I groan, letting my shoulders drop. “Do you know what? Go do that. They have plenty of law-abiding quests over at the barracks.”

He grunts once before he nods, a rare smile on his face. I feel like he’s being an idiot, but at least he seems happy. He did always love being a police officer, and if this game lets him relive his old memories, then I say let him have fun with it. I just hope he won’t get too disappointed if he ever finds out that I’m playing as one of the Villains he seems so hell-bent on arresting. Another reason for me to keep my cover intact.

“So, little brother.” Allison smiles. “Now that we are all together, how about we team up? Defeat a dragon or something and save ourselves a sexy princess?”

“You know you are not allowed to have sex with NPCs in this game, right?” I ask, raising an eyebrow.

Her jaw drops. “What the fuck, really? Why not!? Then why the hell do they charge me three hundred euros to play this stupid game? What a rip off!”

I sigh. “It’s to keep the game’s economy alive and prevent inflation. Since the game basically generates gold through killing monsters and completing quests which can be traded in for real money, the developers need a way to inject fresh capital into the game without crashing the economy. While paying three hundred euros to play the game per month sounds like a lot, it really isn’t when you realise an average nighttime player earns the equivalent of two to two hundred and fifty gold per month from just playing the game. If you’re efficient, then you can basically play for free.

Only full-time hardcore players like myself can expect to earn any money by playing, and even then it’s not a lot. I estimate an average full-time player staying ingame for approximately sixteen hours per day can make around eight or nine hundred euro per month, several times more if you risk playing as a Villain or are one of the top levelers.

If you add in the ten percent cut the developers take for every time you convert your gold to real money or sell something on the auction house, you’ll find that the developers have plenty of wiggle room to keep the economy alive and well. It’s actually pretty fascinating how-”

I’m interrupted by a loud snoring noise coming from Allison. “Seriously, Ryan. The question was rhetorical. Do I need to spell it out for you?”

I snort. “It’s not my fault for assuming you’re an idiot after dad dropped you on your head all those times when you were a kid.”

“Come here and I’ll show you what it looks like when someone bumps their head on the floor repeatedly!”

I burst out laughing as Allison lunges across the table, her hands reaching for my throat. My dad grunts in annoyance, but says nothing as he just moves the plate of clams away from Allison’s flailing limbs.

Our small bout of affection is suddenly interrupted when the tavern door slams open.

“I tell you, Brian! Today’s the day, I just know it!” A familiar chipper voice spreads across the room. I turn my head and watch the beautifully blonde Aeromancer enter with a bright smile on her face. My stomach drops as a series of horrifying thoughts spread across my mind. Oh, god. Why today of all days? What are the odds!?

“Please just give up already… It’s been a month.” Brian groans as he enters behind her.

“You didn’t have to come, you know.” Anna chuckles, giving him a mocking smile over her shoulder.

“And miss out on it if you actually succeed? You would never let me hear the end of it. I’m in too deep to quit now.” He says, shaking his head.

Fuck, fuck, FUCK! I do my best to sink down into my seat, praying to whatever ingame deity is listening that they won’t look too closely in our direction. I really don’t want to deal with this clusterfuck of my own creation if Anna and my sister meet. All my carefully constructed lies, blown away. Fuck. Allison and my dad are the only two people in the world that could topple my house of cards, and I somehow managed to bring them all together under the same roof. Fucking brilliant work, Ryan.

I hold my breath as I watch Anna start accosting Joe with her usual chipper tirade of compliments and smiles while the grumpy old NPC spits insults her way. I watch the interaction go on for several more minutes before Anna seems to sigh in defeat. “Perhaps next time…” She mutters to no one in particular as she turns to leave.

I release a breath of relief as I watch Anna head towards the exit, a smirking Brian at her heels. Holy shit. I can’t believe my luck finally-

“Ooh… She’s pretty.” My sister says just loud enough for her voice to carry across the room. I throw her a horrified glance as my mind goes blank.

Hearing Allison’s voice, Anna turns her head, looking curiously in our direction. Her eyes widen as she sees me, quickly followed by her rising eyebrows when she spots Allison’s hands tightly wrapped around my throat.

“Ryan? What are you doing here!?”