Chapter 37 – Troublemagnet

That’s it. I’m officially a magnet for trouble. A troublemagnet, if you will. How I manage to get myself mixed into these kinds of absurd situations is beyond me. My best bet is to just go along with the flow and pretend most of these things didn’t happen. I wonder if my problems would be solved if I just deleted both of those crazy sisters from my friends list? I’m seriously starting to doubt I have anything to gain from these relations, besides a headache.

It’s surreal. I’m not sure if I gained or lost anything during this interaction, but I guess it’s impossible for me to know. Only time will tell. I suppose I shouldn’t worry my pretty little head about it though. I should just push forward and deal with the consequences if they come.

That’s why I went straight from the restaurant back to the sewers below the Harbour District. Night is about to truly descend and I want to start exploring the trap making avenue as soon as possible. It only takes a little less than an hour for my little group of cutthroats to slaughter two more groups of zombies, bringing my experience past the level eight mark.

[Congratulations! You have reached level 8!]

[You have gained 3 free Attribute Points and 1 Skill Point!]

Excellent. I quickly chuck all three of my attribute points into Luck before I assign all three of my skill points into acquiring all the Trap Maker subskills. I’ve been looking forward to this moment, and I decide to open up my status page and browse my Profession page. It’s been a long while since last time.

Profession:

Trap Maker

Disarm Trap - Ability to disarm traps. Chance of success: 0,7 Dex + 0,3 Luck + 1 * Skill level. Chance to recover parts: 0,2 Luck + 0,5 * Skill level.

Current skill level: Novice 5.

Trigger Mechanism - Reduces the effectiveness of perception checks to spot the trap by 0,5 Luck + Skill level.

Current skill level: Novice 1.

Release Mechanism - Increases the damage dealt by the trap’s payload by Dexterity + 2% * Skill level.

Current skill level: Novice 1.

Framework - Creates the framework of the trap. Makes it more difficult to dismantle the trap by 0,5 Dexterity + Skill level.

Current skill level: Novice 1.

It hurts to know that all these skills cost me four valuable skill points, but I’m sure it will be worth it in the end. For all the good my character can do, I need to have a variation of options that suit my class. Trap Making has a lot of synergies with my class’ play style. With my high potential for dealing massive damage and a lack of healing, The Thief Lord class is highly recommended to be played using guerilla warfare. Making quick and deadly attacks before performing a tactical retreat. Traps bring a whole host of flexibility and safety to a tactic like this. And hey, sometimes I might have to go into hiding for a long time. It’s nice to have something to do besides solving crossword puzzles.

The next step of my great plan to advance in power quickly is to head back up and out of the sewers. My two Beggars have been gone for a while, and if my guesstimates are correct, then they should be back with the day’s batch of available jobs right about now.

Peeking my head out of the sewer entrance to confirm we are all clear, I climb up and into the dark alleyway at the southern tip of the Harbour District. I leave most of my band of underlings down in the sewers, as a large crowd might draw unwanted attention. Cobra and my two Cutpurses follow me up, and the two rogues quickly dart to either side down the alleyway to keep an eye out for any unwanted company. In the meantime, Cobra and I find a good box to get comfortable on. We don’t know how long we will wait here after all.

After sitting here for a good ten minutes, I start to regret not assigning my Beggars to appear on set intervals. Idling around here is a huge waste of potential efficiency, and this can quickly grow old after a few weeks. Customizing their schedules like this should be possible, and I’ve already tried it before. I’m not sure if the game’s NPCs work on an internal clock, but they do seem to understand the concept of hours at least. Perhaps I should just tell them to appear at sunset. It’s close to their regular schedule anyway, and it would save me some time when it comes to sorting out my logistics.

“What are you thinking about, boss?”

“What the-” I jump at the sudden voice. Alarmed, I turn towards Cobra. Holy hell! I completely forgot that guy can talk now. Shit. I’ve been playing solo for far too long… “Dude. Not cool.”

“No need to be so tense, boss. There’s no point in being a thief if you can’t enjoy downtime like this. You need to find a way to unwind a little. Maybe spend a few of those cold coins you are hoarding like a dragon.”

I snort. “I don’t have time to slack off. And neither do you.”

He chuckles. “That’s why you’re the boss, boss. Always thinking about the next big score. It’s my job to keep you alive though, and I suggest the best way to do that is to unjam that giant stick you have up-”

I snort loudly, interrupting his crude remark. The guy might be right. I do need more time to relax. Those crazy sisters are wreaking havoc on my sanity, and I’m not even married to either one. I need to find more time to relax, and soon. Alas, it will need to wait just a little longer. I have a few more things to take care of before I can lower my shoulders. “As much as it pains me to say this, I agree with you.”

Cobra grins. “Of course you do, boss. And I have just the right thing for you.” He guffaws.

“I’m afraid to ask.”

“No, you’re not, boss.” He grins. “I know just the thing to unwind after trudging through the sewers all day. It’s all about balance you see. If you have to go through a lot of shit, then you need to go through an equal amount of pleasant things soon after, if you get what I mean.” He winks, wiggling his eyebrows.

I gently pinch the bridge of my nose. “Don’t tell me.”

“Oh but I will, boss.” His grin turns even wider. “I know the perfect place. Just three blocks away. Cleanest beds and women on this side of town I reckon.”

I sigh. I can’t believe the game’s A.I is trying to talk me into trying out cyber prostitution. “I think I need to respectfully decline your offer. As tempting as it may be…”

He chuckles. “Don’t worry boss. They have boys too.”

“Wait, what?”

Our conversation is interrupted by the timely return of my two beggars. Shooting Cobra an angry glare, I decide to drop the conversation before it escalates into something I’ll regret. Without a word, the two Beggars line up and the familiar notifications appear.

Your Agents (Dwarf Beggar(7)) and (Human Beggar(3)) have uncovered 2 secrets.

Protecting The Neighbourhood

Job type: Shakedown. Difficulty: Easy (?). Deadline: 14 Days. Rewards: 200 Experience, Unknown.

The local Neighbourhood is under constant threat from nearby gangs. The weak and frail will always need protection, and as the upstanding citizen you are, you should offer your services to keep them safe. For a fee of course. One they just can not simply refuse to pay.

Do you wish to accept this job?

Charity’s Sticky Fingers

Job type: Mugging. Difficulty: Medium (?). Deadline: 7 Days. Rewards: 300 Experience, Unknown.

Ulyssa, goddess of light and life cherishes the well-being of both the rich and poor. Her priests accept donations every day to better the lives of the most unfortunate. Some may say the criminals are the most unfortunate of them all. Accepting their charity graciously, or violently, is the only polite thing to do.

Do you wish to accept this job?

Ah, lucky! These two jobs are perfect for what I have planned. Since I have a healthy amount of underlings by now, and not enough time to do everything I want to be doing myself, I plan on delegating some of the more tedious tasks to Cobra. Don’t get me wrong, jobs are fun to do and I won’t stop doing them, but in reality, I don’t really gain much from participating in them. Running jobs take a long time, and the only really gainful experience is the one I get from actually completing the job. Sure, I sometimes get to kill a few enemies, but the experience rewards from those can be considered meager in the grand scheme of things.

If I delegate these tedious tasks to Cobra, I may lose out on the kill experience, but I’ll still gain the full experience gain from completing the job, and my underlings can still pick up the loot without me. This leaves me time to do other things, like log off to eat or practice my craft. I probably should log off soon, but I really want to see a profession trainer. First of all, though, I need to put my underlings to work.

“So Cobra, if you’re done being an ass, I have a job for you.”

“Of course, boss. Just point me in the right direction.” He grins.

----------

The profession trainers are located in the Crafter’s District to the northeast of the city. Maneuvering there isn’t too hard as I can just walk straight through The Harbour District, thus circumventing the largest player populations. The trip isn’t too far, and luckily, the Harbour District offers plenty of cover for me to move unseen.

I wonder if Cobra’s gang is going to be all right though. I had them go for the easiest of the two jobs, but it’s still their first independent run. Cobra should be able to handle it and the rest of my underlings are no pushovers, but still. They don’t have my skills to back them up or my experience as a gamer. They have pretty powerful equipment as well, but some of their levels could be higher in my opinion. It should go well though. If it’s rated easy difficulty, then they should outlevel the job by a fair margin. I’m also pretty sure I threw in more muscle than I needed as well. Only time will tell. I should just focus on the task at hand.

The Crafter’s District is a small district, but still half again as large as the Market District. Unlike the Market District, the Crafter’s District isn’t built quite as orderly. The entire area is littered by different kinds of buildings, and it looks more like there are buildings from three dozen different kinds of fantasy races all compressed into a small area. Personally, I love the look of it all, but it does seem kind of strange when you see a steampunk metal structure with gears and other gizmos sticking out of it being built right next door to a gigantic tree with a bunch of straw huts tied between its thick branches. If I were a betting man, then I’d say the developers have gone out of their way to put as many fantasy-related tropes and stereotypes into the different professions as they can. I’ll be absolutely shocked if the steampunk building doesn’t house a gnome engineer, and the treehouse an elven herbalist. Not that I’m complaining though. It helps with the immersion.

The district is divided up into segments dedicated to each profession. The largest part of the district is dedicated to blacksmiths, as stone buildings and chimneys litter the entire western side of the district. On the opposite end to the east, I can see a lot of gardens and greenhouses stacked neatly together, signalling the home of the herbalist and alchemist quarter. There are loads of different buildings devoted to different professions, and I spend a few minutes to marvel at the mage towers to the north where the enchanters reside.

I can’t waste too much time here though, and I need to find my own trainer. The district is home to many different professions, and the popularity of the professions is reflected in the number of available trainers. Since nearly half of the district is dedicated to blacksmithing, it isn’t hard to find a trainer to teach you. If you choose an unpopular profession like Trap Maker, however, the trainers are a little more scarce. There are actually only four trainers for my profession, which is a little odd. Trap Makers can’t be that unpopular, can they?

I suppose it doesn't matter. Even if I do understand it. If people bother to dedicate their ingame life to being a crafter, then they should at least pick a profession that is more immediately useful to the larger guilds. I suppose traps aren’t as sexy as powerful potions or shiny armor when it comes to raiding epic dungeons and slaying dragons. If more people don’t want to take up the profession, then all the better for me. I always liked being different.

Walking around the Crafter’s District is much more relaxing than other parts of town. There are no quests for regular players here, or anything else worth noticing really. The only people in this district are Crafters. A whole bunch of crafters actually, but that isn’t a problem. Crafters in this game are usually far lower level than regular players, and there aren’t many professions that require a high perception level. It’s actually the easiest district to hide in. There aren’t even any Dark Pegasus guards around here, because why would there be? There aren’t any important buildings around here, and Thief Lords usually don’t care about getting a profession. It’s perfect. Hide a tree in a forest and all that.

It doesn’t take me long to locate the area where the Trap Makers make their home. Well, all four of them. The profession is so ridiculously unpopular, there is only a single building dedicated to the craft.

Entering the building, I find myself in a large hall stacked to the roof with dangerous-looking contraptions of doom. The place looks completely deserted, and the only signs of life I can hear is a low knocking sound coming from a back room somewhere. I consider heading over, but the room doesn’t really look that inviting to visitors. There’s hardly any room to maneuver, and there are knives, spears, and arrows sticking out from so many places, you would cut yourself a dozen times over before you could move as many meters.

“Hello? Is anyone home?” I ask out loud. I’m not sure if anyone hears me, but the weird knocking sound from the back room stops.

“Oy! Who’s there?” A gruff voice yells from somewhere across the room.

“Uhm. I’m looking for a trainer in trap making.” I shout back.

“What did you say? You wanted to cook for map makers?”

“No, I’m looking for a trainer for making traps!”

“You’re cooking for baking chaps? Are you daft? You better get lost before I come out there and kick your ass, son. I don’t have time to deal with shitty pranksters today.”

Oh for the love of…

“Hold on, I’m coming to you!” I shout a little bit too loud. Djeezes. I take a few steps forward, trying to map the best path to cross the hall. It ain’t easy, but a man gotta do what a man gotta do. I’m just about to pass a large metal egg with two dozen spears sticking out of it when the voice from earlier reappears.

“Oy! Watch your step. That thing right there could take out an ogre five times your size.”

I turn around, trying to figure out where the voice came from. My eyes land on a fellow Halfling wearing a leather apron with around two dozen small pockets, all stuffed with varying tools and materials. The Halfling in question is an old man, with silver-gray hair and a pair of thick spectacles strapped to his face. I throw a quick inspect on the guy.

[Halfling Grandmaster Trap Maker - Odin(???). HP ?????/?????. MP: ???/???.]

Woah. That guy doesn’t look like someone I should piss off. His stats must be off the freaking charts. Triple-digit level? Dude.

“Excuse me, sir. Are you a trainer?”

“Who’s asking?” The old man says, narrowing his eyes. He stares at me for a few seconds before his eyes widen slightly. With an amused smile, he says. “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a Thief Lord around these parts.” He grins wide, revealing a set of white teeth with a single silver tooth catching my eye.

Huh. This is going to be interesting.