Chapter 25 – The Merry Dwarf

Darkness descends as I make my final preparations for the bard job. My anticipation is running high as I gather all my underlings around me in the warehouse.

I’m really nervous about this job; more so than the others. Don’t get me wrong, the heist back in the noob zone was probably the most frightening thing I’ve ever experienced, but this feels… different somehow. One thing is when a job suddenly goes down the drain, but when I know well in advance the potential clusterfuck I’m about to stick my dick into, it turns infinitely worse for my poor nerves.

It’s gotten so bad I’ve actually gone over my preparations thrice over. I brought all hands on deck for this one; even my Beggar. I can’t help but worry something will go wrong. One thing is messing up a job with a bunch of NPCs, but it’s a whole different scenario when my objective might be chocked full of actual players. One single slip up is all it takes to crush my dream.

Remind me again why I’m doing this? Think about your blood pressure, Ryan. You can never be too young to have a heart attack.

I throw a few punches at the air, trying to rid myself of the building adrenaline. Even though this job is a bad idea, I just know I’m gonna do it anyway. If I can’t even pull off this simple heist, then I shouldn’t even bother aiming for the top. There are no rewards without risk in games. Worst comes to show, I just wasted another two days.

Steeling my resolve, I go over my preparations one final time. My Poisoner has outdone herself. She managed to create twelve poisons for the job; four Weak Paralyzing Poisons and eight Weak Blight Poisons. Hopefully, I won’t need them, but I’d rather have them than not. During my last excursion in the sewers, I also managed to level my latest addition, the Spotter, to level three. My dwarven Hoodlum also reached level four, boosting my combat potential by leaps and bounds. I should be ready for just about anything by now.

After stashing the majority of my loot back at the tavern along with my Poisoner, we decide to head out. The Bard’s College is located to the northeast near the dock, bordering on the Harbour District. It’s naturally the nicer part of the district, where all the NPCs who can rub two pieces of gold between their fingers usually hang around. I’m not a fan of crowds, but luckily for me, it makes it easier to blend in. Hide a tree in a forest and all that.

The Bard’s College is a large wooden structure, towering above most nearby buildings. I think it’s the only four-storey building in the vicinity, and its tiled roof can be seen from all the way north to the Craftsman’s District. The College actually looks a bit more like a tavern than a school, but that’s not really too weird considering the bottom two floors are just a giant bar surrounding a large stage at the center of the building. It’s actually more accurate to say it’s more like a theater than a bar. Or perhaps a saloon? You know, like in the old wild west.

The bottom two floors are open to the public and it seems to be the local watering hole for both NPCs and players alike. There are four major entrances to the building, and there aren’t even any guards near the doors. Getting in shouldn’t be a problem for me, but with all these people around, my underlings might not fare so well.

My objective should be on the top two floors of the building where the guild conducts the majority of their business. The evening should be prime time for Bards to hang around in the bar downstairs, so I don’t expect there to be too much traffic on the upper floors. I should be ready for anything though, and most of all, not rush things and do something stupid. I’m good at doing stupid shit.

I stash my underlings in a nearby alley while I decide to do a little bit of scouting. I start by taking a long walk around the building, trying to locate any possible entrances or opportunities to infiltrate the College. Disappointingly enough, the College is such a large building, it takes up en entire city block. It’s so large, it’s surrounded by streets on all sides, which means there are no neighbouring houses I can use to scale the building. Also, due to all the traffic, I can’t literally scale the building without being spotted. Not that I would have done that given the option; my Agility attribute being what it is.

The building has four large double doors on either side of the building. There’s a lot of activity around these doors, and they all lead into the bar area on the bottom floors. There are a few alternative entrances on the corners of the western and northern parts of the building that don’t seem to be open to the public. I assume these entrances are for the use of guild personnel, but I can’t be sure where they lead to. For all I know, they might lead directly to a guards’ office or the kitchen. I don’t think I should chance it.

I spend a good hour trying to stake out the two entrances, hoping to see if anyone exits the doors. Unluckily enough, I don’t see anyone and the doors remain shut. By the laws of gaming logic, the doors should see regular use to determine their purpose. Similar to how the hobos showed up at the alchemist’s hut to deliver their packages like clockwork.

So… what are my options here? I’m not particularly fond of the area. It’s far too open, leaving no space for my underlings to make a stealthy entrance. The western back entrance is probably my best bet, considering there is far less traffic from this side of town, as well as the entrance being on the shadowy side of the building. It doesn’t help much, but it might help a little.

I also don’t like the amount of people hanging around. If I manage to get upstairs, then a single mistake would be enough to alert the crowd below. There are next to no information available about what I can expect going forward, and it doesn’t seem like there is any information to gain from loitering out here. I need to get eyes inside, and I don’t think any of my underlings can do it. Well, maybe the Beggar could slip in easily. It wouldn’t help much though, considering the guy is mute.

No, the only one who can do it is me. It’s risky with all these people in here, but as long as I don’t draw any attention then I doubt anyone would bother looking too closely at me. People relaxing should – in theory – be too lazy to bother inspecting everyone they run across; neither should there be many people with a high enough perception score walking around. This is still an area primarily frequented by low-level players; none of them likely to pierce my disguise. It’s a stupid risk, yes, and not one I can dare do again in the future. I’ve only played for two days, and I don’t necessarily risk everything if I have to reroll my character now. I’m getting awfully close to the point of no return though, and for all I know, I might already have passed it. Now is the time to take a chance to get ahead of the curve. The rewards are just too good, and I like my odds of success better to risk a peek inside rather than blindly storm one of the side doors.

Preparing myself mentally, I step up to the building. Night has truly descended by now, and I can hear the sound of about a hundred people raising a ruckus within. Laughter, cheers, and music fill the air, and the mood is infecting every passerby on the street. I’m of half a mind to go in and just join them for a moment, but I need to stay true to my cause. I can try drinking when it’s safer. There’s a sign above the entrance. The Prancing Leprechaun. Why does that sound so familiar?

I shrug.

I pass a couple of drunk female gnomes as I make my way through a set of large double doors. One of them offers me a lap dance in exchange for a beer, but I kindly decline. Gnomes look a bit too much like human children in my eyes. Having one grind on my lap would just feel wrong on far too many levels. I push my way further inside, ignoring the gnome who snorts and calls me a faggot. I can’t help but chuckle at her insult. It’s hard to get insulted by tiny people after all.

The insides of the bottom floors of the College are breathtaking. It’s a huge bar that stretches over two floors, with a large stage taking up the center of the room. There are hundreds of round oaken tables located everywhere, and hundreds of players and NPCs of mixed races are spread among them. The sight is breathtaking, and just what one would expect from a medieval fantasy game.

I stand there gaping until someone bumps into me from behind.

“Oy! Watch it shorty! What are ye doin’ just standin’ round ere’ for?” A burly voice shouts.

Slightly disoriented, I turn to face the voice. I come face to face with a bearded dwarf in full plate armor, with a large kite shield strapped to his back and an axe secured at his waist. He eyes me skeptically as I notice his full red beard twitches slightly.

“Sorry, my bad. It’s my first time here. The scenery sort of blew me away a little bit.” I tell the dwarf. Who is this guy calling shorty, anyway? We’re the same damn height.

The dwarf guffaws. “I hear ye, lad. It could happen to the best of us.”

My brows furrow. What’s wrong with this guy? That’s the shittiest attempt at a Scottish accent I’ve ever heard. The guy is clearly french. He sounds just like that guy Marc from Anna’s party… He actually also looks like that guy-.

“My name’s Marc, lad. What’s yours?”

…

Fuck. This is the bar Anna invited me to, isn’t it? My body tenses. Shit! What are the odds? I can’t let her see me. Not with that Paul guy hanging around. I need to get out of here, pronto. What do I even tell this guy?

“Uhm, just call me Rynorn.”

Marc hesitates for a moment. “Alright lad, I respect yer right fer privacy. Ye hardly know me after all! How about ye let me buy yer a drink so we can get to know one another, eh?” He grins.

Geez, what a friendly guy. “Sorry, but I’m just passing through. I have this quest you see…”

“Quest? Nonsense! There’s always time fer good ale, lad. The quest isn’t going anywhere, ye know.” He chuckles while putting an arm around my shoulder. “Relax and take a breather! I want to see if ye little halflings can hold yer liquor!” He guffaws while pulling me towards the bar.

I struggle against his hold on me, my strength sorely lacking against his steel grip. “I really don’t have time…” I say.

“Wha’? Ye lookin’ for a girl or something? I can introduce ye to a friend of mine. The lass is a wee bit sulky because some lad stood her up.” He smirks. “Yer gonna love me party. They’re an all right bunch. Our cleric is a wee lil’ bitch, but that’s what one should look fer in a lass, innit?” He roars with laughter.

What the hell? How do I get rid of this guy? “I appreciate the offer, but I’m not really looking for a woman. I just-,”

“How bout’ a lad then? Daniel is our assassin. He’s a nice fellow. Single to boot!” He winks at me.

“Wait, what? No! I didn’t mean-” I blurt, my face reddening.

“There ain’t anyone judging you here, lad.” He smiles.

I facepalm, gently rubbing my temples. “I’m not looking for company, all right? I Just want to finish my quest. It’s got a timer on it, and if I don’t complete it within the hour, I might lose my apprenticeship with the Trap Maker’s guild.” I snap at him with a bit more aggression than necessary.

“Timer? Why didn’t ye say so! What are ye standing around ere’ for? Get on with it then. Come back afterwards and we’ll share a pint!” He shoos me off, laughing with not a care in the world.

“I might.” I lie, slithering out of his grip. I deftly maneuver my way through the crowd, leaving the merry dwarf behind. That was way too close. What the hell is up with this city anyway? Is it really this small? I keep running into the same people everywhere I go. Is someone fucking with me, or am I just really unlucky? Either option would certainly explain a lot.

That’s it. I promise to invest more points into my Luck attribute next chance I get. I don’t care if it doesn’t really affect the threads of fate. This is getting ridiculous.

I push my way through to the opposite side of the building. Making sure no one of Anna’s party is nearby, I finally start my reconnaissance in earnest. I’ve already been here too long. Time is of the essence after all.

The northern part of the building is a dining area with an attached kitchen. NPCs are streaming in and out of a room at the back, carrying dishes and trays filled with delicious food. If my sense of direction is up to date, then it’s reasonable for me to assume the northern personnel entrance is attached to the kitchen storage room or the like. That means breaking through from that direction would be ludicrous, considering that the amount of NPCs that enter the kitchen is enormous. I’d be spotted for sure if I attempted something.

Unless… I rub my chin. Unless there is potential here. With the amount of NPCs heading in and out, there is no guarantee they are all that familiar with one another. If I can somehow steal a disguise, I might be able to outfit some of my underlings and sneak in that way. NPCs don’t react to the Infamy Levels as regular players do, and there should be a way to trick the system with the proper items. I sincerely doubt there are any players back there. That might actually work… But how can I be certain?

My first obstacle would be to acquire the disguises, and I don’t have the foggiest idea of where to get them. I might be able to procure something from a tailor’s shop, but those are all closed for the night. I could try and use the finer clothes I looted from the Davvins’ household, but I don’t think those would qualify as servant attire. I don’t even think I can completely rule out the possibility of a few players trying to level their cooking skills in the kitchen. I like the idea, but I don’t like the risk.

Shaking my head, I move my attention to the western part of the building. Unlike the southern and eastern side of the building, the western side contains the necessary facilities for such an establishment, like toilets, a coat room, and a wide set of stairs going up to the floors above. I try to find the possible location of the personnel entrance, but I come up short. It should be somewhere behind the coatroom, but I don’t see any doors from the inside attached to where the entrance should be. I guess that it leads to a backroom, hopefully with stairs leading upwards. If I am to attempt my heist, that should be my best bet for making my entry.

I take a deep breath. This is going to be tough. Real tough. I’m basically going in blind on this one. A voice at the back of my mind tells me to back away while I still can. Not every job is supposed to be doable; it’s ranked hard difficulty after all. Who knows what might go wrong? For all I know, the leader of the Dark Pegasus guild could be up there listening to some gnome playing blues music on a flute. Maybe this job is supposed to be impossible to perform, just to teach the Thief Lord when to call it quits?

I exhale slowly. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. There is no doubt in my mind I could sit here for hours coming up with reasons for why this is a bad idea, but when it all comes down to it, I’m a gamer for the excitement and adventure. I might be stupid enough to attempt a suicide mission, but I’m not stupid enough to put myself in a position where I will lose no matter what. No risk, no reward. I should probably try to come up with a plan B? Maybe… I’ll have to see what I’m up against first. My preparations should be all done, except for one last thing. The most crucial part of this endeavour.

With my mind made up, I walk up to counter. Climbing onto a stool, I hail the bartender. “Give me a Dwarven Fire Whiskey, and make it double.” I mutter, rubbing my temples. Hopefully, it will be enough to get me through this job. It certainly won’t make the experience any worse.