《Lazy Dragon Queen: Gaming in an Illogical World》[Vol. 6 pt. 1]
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Life was strange ever since I discovered that there was more to it than the pursuit of fluff. For example, I actually actively participated in doing perverse things with my girlfriends. Especially with their breasts and my hands. If their breasts were within my sight, then they were getting groped. I just couldn’t resist it any longer.
Because of that, I became quite the master at using my hands. I was even able to move beyond groping breasts to groping thighs. My hands became so talented, even when their target was my girlfriends’ thighs, that they could still exhaust my girlfriends and leave them on the verge of consciousness.
And then there was holding hands.
One would normally not consider handholding to be a perverse act, but I managed to turn it into one. Especially with Vala. The interlocking of our fingers would become so intense and passionate that she would often drop to her knees in a state of exhausted pleasure while drooling and barely able to acknowledge her surroundings.
I had no idea that my hands had such a hidden power locked away within them, but said power had fully awoken.
And now?
There was no stopping my hands. I could even caress Window’s window while in her informational status window form in a way that would make her turn a bright shade of red while all the text on her became incomprehensible gibberish.
My hands were too strong for any mortal being, and even immortal beings, too handle.
And that led to something else that was part of why my life felt so strange.
Ever since I started using my hands on an almost constant basis on my girlfriends… my life became a lot calmer. I would have thought that basically having sex a dozen times a day would have made my life even more hectic, because doesn’t it sound like it would? The person who goes from having sex every now and then to having sex a dozen times a day, minimum, would surely have the crazier and busier life.
Right?
Wrong.
By pleasuring my girlfriends over, and over, and over, and over, and over again, with the speed and efficiency that my hands were capable of, what ended up happening was…
They were all too tired to be crazy like usual.
Even the dog sisters, Delphi, Cami, and Lavi, who were almost always full of energy and running around playing with either each other or Luca, were always left exhausted by me.
It was like everybody else just had so much less energy ever since my hands were awoken.
Because of that, they weren’t as distracting. And because they weren’t as distracting, I got to finish everything I wanted to do sooner than it would usually take me. And because I got everything done sooner than usual, I ran out of things to do.
I ended up having plenty of free time where I could simply relax with Valkyria or go on walks with Luca. I even had time to go fishing with Lake every now and then.
My life became so peaceful and relaxed all because I started having sex a dozen times a day.
Was that the secret to successful relationships? Sexually pleasuring my girlfriends to the point where they were so exhausted that they never had energy for anything else?
Who would have thought that having so much sex would have such an impact?
Life was peaceful. My girlfriends were happier than ever before. My hands became stronger and more dexterous. I could garden in peace more often and spend more free time alone with my daughter. I got to go fishing with a friend and enjoy the peace and quiet with Valkyria.
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My body felt lighter, my mind felt healthier, and everything was perfect.
That was the power of having copious amounts of sex.
In other words.
Being horny granted me far more power than fluff ever had.
What if… what if I became even hornier?
What if we started having sex twice as much as we already were? What if I used another part of my body that wasn’t just my hands? I already used the other parts, too, but not as often as just using my hands.
I could potentially reach even higher heights. I could ascend to an ever greater reality of peace and quiet through even more intense sex using the rest of my body.
Then again, if I did that, my girlfriends would practically have nothing to live for except for sex. I already got them to the point where they would wake up, experience my hands, pass out, and repeat. They hardly got to do anything else. If things became even more intense, they might pass out for days or even weeks at a time and more or less sleep their lives away all due to overwhelming sexual pleasure.
What a cruel fate that would be.
At the same time, if that happened, it meant I would have an absurd amount of peaceful free time for myself. Though, I would have to spare Window so that Luca could still grow up with a mother who wasn’t just in an eternal state of sleeping due to sexual exhaustion.
That was something I could consider later.
For the time being, I stood up and stretched before looking down at the sight curled up on the grass below me.
Clawdia.
Even though I hadn’t used my hands on her for the last twenty minutes since she passed out, giving me a chance to stare up at the clear sky while thinking about what to do next, she was still twitching. Her body, ears, tail—every part of her still twitched every now and then from residual pleasure.
And apparently, she got jealous about me spending a week in Mariet’s haunted mansion castle when I never did the same for her, so she’d been extra demanding of my attention.
Or maybe she was just extra demanding since all it took was some light touching and she would already be on her knees. She did become much less bratty ever since I returned, too.
“Nya… Drake… you can’t… in front of everybody… your hands will make me… nya…”
Clawdia couldn’t escape my hands even in her sleep.
Now, if there were other people around who we didn’t know, or bugs in the grass that might mess with her, then I would carry her to somewhere safer to sleep.
But because we were in Vala’s personal pocket universe where nothing bad could ever happen, I had no problem leaving Clawdia in the grass so that I could go spend some quality time fluffing my fluffs. And be fluffing my fluffs, I mean petting and cuddling with all the various fluff wielders who were not my girlfriends.
That was something else my awakened hands were good for.
Petting.
My hands were capable of sexually exhausting my girlfriends to the point of passing out, and they were also good for… pettingly exhausting all the various animals around the place who had fluff for me to play with.
There was not a single animal I could not put to sleep with my petting.
I could even put the bees to sleep with my petting.
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And while on the topic of bees, something I managed to do with all of my new free time was gather resources. We were supposed to be playing a survival game as well as a tower defense game, but pretty much all we ever did had to do with the tower defense side of things.
To be fair, the survival side wasn’t exactly fleshed out and only really existed to serve the tower defense.
But the point is that I actually went out gathering with my free time. I managed to get us a large stockpile of wood, stone, and I even found enough beehives to build another bee tower. Our bees were starting to struggle against the advanced aerial units of the zombie maid queen, so we needed more bees to stand a chance against them.
What I really needed, though, was a “ram lance.” A ram lance was the only other item required to build the charger tower. The charger tower was going to be home to rams who could roam all around the battlefield to ram into enemies, so that was something I really wanted. I figured they would be incredible at chasing down any stragglers who might make it past the frontlines now that the bees had the sky to worry about.
Now, all of that aside, there was one massive problem that came with me embracing the newfound power within my hands.
Everybody was always too exhausted to fight in the battles.
The whole reason I began training my hands and raising them to the ultimate level was so that I could overwhelm Mariet and Claire with them upon finishing up their zone’s battles. But… as a result of all my training, nobody was ever willing to fight. Even Window, who would normally harass me about sticking to the “plot” and progressing via participating in the tower defense battles, was too tired to ever bring it up. She was even too tired to play her gacha games.
So, because of that, no battles had been fought despite the improved power of my hands.
Perhaps it was time for an intervention.
I needed to sit down and have a talk with myself and my hands about our future.
Yeah. That sounded like the right thing to do.
It was time for me to give myself an intervention about exploiting the awe-inspiring skill of my hands.
But rather than sit, I walked over to Valkyria and decided to pace around her while doing it so that I had some company. She was the only one around who was mature enough and willing to listen to me talk about my problems. What I needed to talk about was inappropriate for Luca to listen to, so I sent her to go have a fishing day with Lake.
And since Valkyria couldn’t quite talk on her own yet, I was on my own.
“Alright, Drake,” I said. “You need to admit that you have a problem.”
“I know,” I replied to myself. “Using the power of my hands has been great, but we might be taking things too far.”
“Yeah. I know it’s going to be rough, but we have to do this. We can’t run away or hide behind it.”
“To be fair, it’s not like we are. We just have a bunch of girlfriends whose stamina can’t outlast our hands.”
“That’s true. Plus it’s nice to watch them not be able to last. It’s good for our ego.”
I nodded. “You’re right. This has been great for our free time, productivity, and ego.”
“Really, there’s almost nothing wrong with it aside from the fact that we’re not doing the tower defense battles.”
“Yeah. Honestly, I would rather keep using the power of our hands as much as we want.”
“Same. But if we do that, we’re never going to reach Mariet and Claire. And don’t you want to overwhelm them, too, with our ascended hands?”
“I do. I really do.”
“If only there was another way. A way that would involve us still using our hands on our girlfriends while also getting Mariet and Claire.”
“But the only way to get Mariet and Claire is to withhold our hands from the others. Did you see what happened to Window earlier? She started twitching just from us touching her shoulder. She starts drooling the moment we put a finger on her at this point. And look, she’s so exhausted that she’s not even able to randomly pop up in front of us to lie and say that that’s not true.”
“You’re right. It really does seem like the only way we can get to Mariet and Claire at this point is to never touch our girlfriends with our hands again until we get them.”
“What if we try gloves?”
I had an excellent point. “That might just work.”
Thankfully, I was a very agreeable person to myself. “If we wear gloves, that might limit our hands’ powers.”
“It’s definitely worth looking into.”
“I have one other idea that might work.”
“What?”
“We could send the bees. The bees could search for the haunted mansion castle and send a message telling Claire and Mariet to come back over here. I mean, they can easily fly here, so we can just tell them to… wait.”
“If they can easily fly here whenever they want, how come they haven’t yet?”
I had a realization that I didn’t like.
The realization of: if they wanted to be with me, why weren’t they here? Claire could transform into her fluffy bat form and fly Mariet over to us whenever they wanted. So, why didn’t they?
“Maybe,” I said, “they’re testing us. They’re waiting for us to get back to them.”
“Could be,” I replied. “Or maybe Window or Vala put up a barrier or something to stop them from reaching us since we got to spend time with them earlier than we were supposed to.”
“Regardless of whichever it is, if they wanted to and could be here, they would be.”
“I agree.”
“So if they won’t come to us, we have to go to them.”
“We’re going to have to find some gloves then.”
“Find a lot of them. Window and Clawdia might try stealing them to hide them. They’ve gotten too addicted to our hands.”
“Good idea. Alright. Operation: Gloves, is now starting.”
I would have shaken my own hand if I could. Instead, I looked at Valkyria, who was following my pacing with her barrel that whole time, and patted her on her side before heading back to the house to find some gloves.
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