“You know what I could go for right about now?” Vala asked as we waited in front of the archer tower with everybody else. We all gathered up as if waiting for a movie to start at a theater. After all, finally getting to see who was inside of the tower this entire time had everybody excited. Of course, I knew who was in there, but nobody else did.

“What?” I asked.

“Popcorn.”

“That would be pretty fitting right about now. Can’t you just… snap some into existence?”

“It wouldn’t be the same. I want movie popcorn.”

“And why can’t you just pop some into existence?”

“Because it’s not the same unless some teenager working their first job makes it at a movie theater for you! All those brands that advertise themselves as tasting just like the popcorn at the movies are liars! And there are all sorts of blog posts that try to teach people how to make their popcorn like the theaters’ at home, but they never taste right! Even with the power to snap anything I want into existence, making homemade movie theater popcorn is impossible…”

“Wait, have you even been to a proper movie theater before?”

“Of course! I went incognito mode and visited them a few times. But I always made sure to wait at least a couple of weeks after a movie came out so that the showing wouldn’t be too crowded.”

“That’s relatable. Anyways, can you snap me some money into existence if you can’t snap popcorn in?”

“Oh, yeah, easy.”

“Then give me some. Fifty should probably do.”

Vala looked confused but still gave me the money, popping it right into my hands. “What do you need it for?”

“Open up a portal to a movie theater—to whichever one you’ve been to before.”

That was enough to let her know what was going on. Instead of saying anything else, she opened up the portal as her excited eyes waited with anticipation for me to hurry up and go.

“I’ll be right back,” I said.

“Oh! Wait!” Vala replied. This time, I was the one who looked confused. I looked confused until she hopped up and gave me a kiss, anyway. “You’re the best, Drake.”

“Do I get another kiss once I come back?”

“Heh, you can have as many as you want.”

“And what about…”

I leaned toward Vala’s ear and whispered what else I wanted from her. Considering that Luca was close by, currently hanging all over Window, I wanted to make sure that she couldn’t hear.

Vala’s cheeks turned red as soon as she heard my whispered request. “That… that sounds fun.”

“Window can’t be the only mom around here, right?” I asked.

My question turned Vala’s cheeks an even brighter shade of red. “Geez… it’s embarrassing when you say it like that…”

I kissed her forehead before pulling back and turning toward the portal. “I’ll go grab the popcorn now.”

“Oh! Can you get extra butter and salt on mine? And put parmesan cheese on it?”

“Sure.”

“You really are the best. You’re too good for this reality—too good for the entire universe!”

“I think that’s a bit dramatic, but I’ll take it.”

With that being said, I stepped through the portal and immediately found myself surrounded by humans standing around looking shocked. Some even ran away in fear.

That was when I remembered that the portal was visible to them, too. They just saw some random guy step out of a portal that randomly opened up in the movie of a movie theater lobby.

The good news was that the workers behind the counter didn’t run away, though one was calling the police from the sounds of it.

“Hey,” I said to the one employee behind the counter not calling the police or taking pictures. “I need all the popcorn this can buy. However many…” I looked up at the menu to see what they called the largest size, “jumbo buckets this affords.”

The employee gulped and took the money with a shaking hand. “Te-ten jumbo buckets of popcorn.”

“Make sure one of them has extra salt and butter, and put some parmesan cheese on it.”

“Ye-yes sir. Just—just please don’t hurt us.”

“I won’t if you don’t screw the popcorn up. Hurry up.” I wasn’t actually serious about the threat, but I did want them to hurry and not screw anything up. So, if they thought they might be in danger, I didn’t necessarily have a problem letting them think that.

A couple of minutes later, after working faster than they probably ever worked before, the popcorn was ready. I took a piece just to make sure that it tasted like proper movie theater popcorn and nodded. “Good. Thanks,” I said before trying my best to scoop all the popcorn buckets into my arms.

“D-d-do you need help with that?” the worked asked.

“I’m good. Thanks.”

The employee might have been terrified, but at least he was helpful and doing his best at his job.

The portal closed behind me as soon as I went through it. Everybody who saw it and me were probably going to be called crazy if they tried telling anybody about it, but oh well.

“Here,” I said, setting all the buckets down on the grass. “This one is yours.”

Vala was quick to take the bucket I pointed out and immediately tried it before squealing and wagging her tail. “So good! I—I could cry!”

“Over popcorn?”

“It tastes even better than normal since the person I love got it for me!”

“I’m not sure if me loving you affected the flavor at all.”

“Of course it does! Love makes everything better! The moment you picked it up, your love for me was poured into the popcorn which makes it taste even better!”

Delphi, holding a bucket of her own, tasted some of the popcorn and said, “Ooh… so master’s love tastes like butter!”

“That’s not what my love tastes like!” I shouted.

Cami nodded and said, “Yeah. Master’s love tastes salty and sticky.”

It was my turn to feel my cheeks redden a bit. “It doesn’t taste like that, either!”

Before anybody else could say anything crazy about what my “love” tasted like, we heard the door to the archer tower creak open.

We all dropped what we were doing, aside from eating popcorn, to watch.

Everybody was present. All the girls, the animals, the cats, Lake—not a single person wanted to miss the grand reveal. Clawdia was there, too, but… she was sleeping on top of one of the cows with her upper half hanging upside down over its side.

I never even saw her arrive. I just… looked away, looked back, and then I saw her there.

Cats, including women who only had cat ears and tails, were mysterious beings.

“Hey, Window,” Vala said with a mouth full of popcorn. “You should add spotlights so we can see her when she comes out.”

“I don’t think she’d appreciate that,” I said. If she was shy enough to never come out of the tower before this, she was probably shy enough to not want a literal spotlight on her.

So, without any spotlights to shine on the tower’s entrance… the first foot stepped out from the tower.

“Ooh! A foot!” Delphi commentated.

The foot immediately retracted into the tower.

“Relax a bit, Delphi,” I said. “Just… try to stay quiet and wait for her.”

“Oh, sorry,” Delphi said. “I’ll be quiet!”

After a few more moments of silence with the only noise in the air being that of everybody eating their popcorn, the foot stepped back out of the tower. I saw Delphi ready to begin commentating again, but a quick look at her reminded her to stay quiet.

That was when we saw her.

The tower’s occupant finally, for the first time, stepped out into public view.

Everybody who was eating popcorn stopped at the sight of her. Well, except for Cami. She continued eating popcorn while wearing no expression on her face just like usual.

“We… we were all wrong,” Vala said.

“I know the feeling,” I replied.

Standing there, in front of the archer tower’s entrance, was the mysterious girl who defied all expectations. I sometimes heard the others try to guess what she would be. Some guessed a rabbit. Others guessed a rat. Practically every single animal whose name started with the letter R was guessed… except for this one.

A couple of short, black, and furry ears popped out from the top of the archer’s head through her long and black hair that had a white streak running along the center of it. I knew that she had a tail, but it wasn’t visible from the front due to how short it was. Aside from that, she had on short jean shorts which left her long and slender legs exposed, but her upper body was almost completely covered up thanks to an oversized hoodie that stretched over her hands.

All that was left to see was her face. She was beyond pretty. Her facial features were small and sharp, giving her a sort of mysterious and beautiful appearance rather than a cute one. Of course, even if she looked like the type who would normally be calm and mysterious, her cheeks betrayed her by making her look like a shy girl.

“I—I didn’t know what to wear for the date… so I put these on,” she said before lifting her hoodie-covered hands up in front of her face, leaving only her eyes uncovered. “Is… this alright?”

“Woah,” Vala said. “She’s so pretty… and tall. She… she doesn’t look anything like I expected. She looks like a normie fashion model instead of a gamer with bags under her eyes who plays video games all day!”

“I’m sorry!”

“Why are you apologizing?! You’re super beautiful!”

“Be-because I didn’t meet your expectations!”

Vala almost dropped some of her popcorn from how hard she shook her head. “Don’t apologize! You didn’t do anything wrong! I’m super happy to meet you! Wa-wait! Why are you crying?!”

“Because I’m so happy you’re happy…”

“Psst, Master,” Lavi whispered. “Is she a skunk?”

The archer heard the whisper despite Lavi’s best attempt at being quiet and began crying even harder. “I’m not a skunk! I knew everybody was going to think I’m a skunk…”

“Ah, crap, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“No… I understand. With how I look… there’s no way anybody could think I’m anything but a skunk. I don’t even the personality that everybody gives others like me on the internet… we’re supposed to—supposed to… ‘not give a f-uhh…’ about anything, but… I’m a failure at what I’m supposed to be…”

“They’ll see it once they know what they’re supposed to look for,” I said. Since nobody else could tell what she was supposed to be, I revealed the truth. “She’s a ratel. Or as they’re more commonly known, honey badgers.”

The honey badger archer nodded while crying as everybody stared at her.

“Woah, you were able to tell that she was a honey badger all the way back when you saw those plants growing around the tower?” Vala asked me.

“Nope,” I answered. “Those were carrots growing. I thought she was going to be a rabbit. Turns out that she just really likes carrots.”

“Carrots… carrots are my favorite,” the archer answered.

“What kind of games do you like? You play games all the time in there, right?”

“I, umm… m-mostly play visual novels… that’s why I needed Drake’s help… because I kept on choosing the wrong options and couldn’t go down the route I wanted to go down, so I needed a guy’s advice…”

“I see, I see. What kind of visual novel was it? Boy and girl? Girl and body? Boy and girls? Girl and boys?”

The archer lowered her voice and lifted her hands just a bit higher to cover up her eyes, too. “It was… b-boys’ love…”

“Oh. Oh. You’re a yaoi fangirl, aren’t you?”

“I—I’m not a fangirl! I just think there’s nothing more pure than the love between a man and another man! Yaoi is the purest form of love there is!”

“That sounds just like what a fangirl would say.”

The archer couldn’t say anything in response to that. All she was able to do was make embarrassed noises and squeals from behind her hoodie-covered hands.

“Don’t tease her too much,” I told Vala. “Also, I never played those kinds of games before she dragged me in to help her. The story in it was actually pretty good. I understood why she wanted to win the prince’s heart so much.”

“Right?!” the archer shouted, her hands now away from her face. “He was a prince who grew up with imposter syndrome his entire life! He never thought that he was worthy of his position and felt like everybody around him was better than him even though he always tried his best! All he wanted to do was make everybody happy and provide a safe life for his people, but his warmongering and money-focused relatives made him believe those were foolish dreams! And after all the attempts on his life by people who wanted him dead, it was almost impossible to gain his trust! All he really needed was somebody who finally believed in him and his dreams, and somebody who he could trust and open up to without worry! Ah… and then the h-scenes came… and he wanted to feel powerless by being tied and bound… so good…”

“The sex scenes were a bit awkward,” I told Vala. “Especially with the… very intense voice acting. But it was satisfying in a way since it showed that the prince was finally able to trust somebody enough to voluntarily surrender all power to him.”

“Exactly! It was good for other reasons, but it was proof of their relationship growth! Don’t even get me started on people who think visual novels should take sex scenes out. Seriously! Like, the sex scenes are part of what makes visual novels what they are! They give fanservice while showing relationship growth and how healthy relationships behave all in one! What’s the point of having a romance story if there’s never going to be any sex?! If it’s not supposed to be romance, fine, but if there are romance routes, there needs to be sex or else what’s the point?!”

“Woah,” Vala said. “I guess she’s not a normie after all.”

“You should have seen her cartoon collection,” I said.

“That was my anime collection! Not cartoons!” the archer whined.

“And she had posters everywhere. Mostly of guys in sexually suggestive poses with other guys.”

“My tower is my BL den! I can’t expect anybody to be okay with me putting yaoi art up all over the place, so I have to concentrate all of it inside of my tower!”

“She even had a couple of body pillows with men almost completely naked on them… but she didn’t sleep with them. She gave her bed to the body pillows so that they could be together on it while she slept on the floor in front of the bed instead.”

“Dr-Drake! You don’t have to tell them everything you saw! A-and they won’t understand! That was Lucifer and Azrael! They were demonic twins separated at birth who deserve to be reunited in bed where nobody will ever separate them again! How could I get in their way?!”

Even Cami stopped eating her popcorn at that point to just… stare with a blank expression. Pretty much everybody was staring at her with a blank expression. Clawdia was the only one sparing her from any potentially judgmental looks since she was still sound asleep despite all of the noise.

Needless to say, the honey badger archer with a massive addiction to men loving men covered up her face and went back to making muffled, embarrassed noises.