It was finally time for everybody else to see who lived within the archer tower. I might have known already, but it remained secret to everybody else. Because of that, it ended up turning into a big deal when everybody realized they were finally going to reveal themselves.

Woah, this is like waiting for the movie to start at a theater. Everybody’s quiet and waiting…

Just as Window said, everybody was present. The dogs, bees, cows, cats, Lake—all of us were there and waiting. Even that giant, fluffy bat and the zombie princess were up above. The zombie princess hung from the bat’s feet, upside down with a pair of binoculars held in her hands.

“I’m surprised even they showed up,” I said.

I sent them a message letting them know as soon as I found out about it. But I told them that if they want to come, then they have to stay out of the way so that they don’t steal any attention.

“That was probably a smart idea.”

Of course it was. Who do you think I am? I’m the smartest informational status window ever!

Plus, it should be obvious to anybody with more than two operating brain cells that they would have completely distracted everybody from the main point of this chapter. I mean, come on. We finally get a reveal of who’s in the tower and then they show up to steal the show, thus pushing the actual reveal back another chapter? We all know that’s what would—

crap I’m doing the same thing right now aren’t i

I patted Window’s top edge a couple of times before returning my attention to the tower’s entrance where it seemed like the grand reveal was finally ready to take place.

“My turn to cause a distraction,” Vala said, standing by my side with a bucket of popcorn held in her arms.

I couldn’t help but to say. “You’re both always complaining about things going slowly and everybody getting distracted, but then you cause the distractions.”

“Hey, that’s Window who complains. I don’t care if we slow things down and get distracted all the time.”

“I guess not.”

“D-don’t tell me you’re already getting so many waifus that you’re mixing us up! At this rate, you’re going to stop seeing us as individuals and instead see us as nothing more than a single amalgamation of waifuness! Like a giant hybrid monster! You’ll look at any of us and see everybody else inside of her!”

“It’s not that extreme! I made one tiny mistake! And even then, it was only half of a mistake because the part about you causing distractions is still true!”

“Hm. You’re right. You were only half wrong. That means… you’ll see us as half amalgamations of hybrid monsters!”

“That doesn’t even make any sense! You’re purposely trying to distract me now! Also, share your popcorn.”

“Hold your hands out instead.”

I did as told. She snapped her fingers a second later, causing a bucket of popcorn similar to hers to appear over my hands. “I only wanted a few pieces. You could have just shared some of yours with me.”

“I could have, but that would require sharing. I love popcorn too much to share.”

“Since when is being a popcorn-loving dragon one of your traits? Actually… wait. I remember something like this from back in the day. Every single time we were playing games together you mentioned eating, I’d ask what you were eating… and the answer was always popcorn.”

“With salt, extra butter, and parmesan cheese! Oh, want anything on yours?”

“I’m fine with just salt and butter.”

Another snap of her fingers and an oversized saltshaker with a cup of butter appeared over my popcorn bucket to pour into it. Despite not shaking the popcorn up or even trying to pour it all evenly, the butter and salt somehow managed to perfectly and equally coat the popcorn.

That somehow seemed like the most unbelievable thing I’d seen since beginning my new life with Vala.

Finally, the door to the archer tower opened. With popcorn in hand, all of us watched and waited to see who was going to come out of the tower.

I was still the only one who knew the truth.

A shadowy figure came into our sight, standing within the tower’s doorway.

It was only when the figure stepped out into the spotlight aimed right in front of the door that everybody got to see just who and what exactly she was. It was the moment that everybody had been waiting for.

Everybody else finally got to see her.

Standing there, finally revealed…

Was a girl with dark bags under her eyes, black and white hair topped off with a pair of short and rounded ears, a tail matching her hair that stuck out from behind her waist to sway slowly from side to side behind her, and baggy clothes that looked like that were probably stolen from somebody’s trash. Either that, or they looked like she spilled too many drinks and dropped too much food onto her clothes.

“Ooh! A racoon girl!” Vala shouted. “Who had their money on racoon?”

Cami rose her hand while looking awfully proud of herself. I had never seen her look more smug before.

“Dang,” Lavi said. “And here I had my money on a raven. A cool, black raven clad in dark feathers who struck her foes down from the distance. That would have been awesome.”

While Lavi wished for a Raven girl, the racoon girl yawned and rubbed her eyes.

Then a new voice spoke up, but it wasn’t the racoon’s.

“Who says there’s no raven?” the voice asked, coming from the entrance to the tower. Surely enough, standing at the tower’s entrance was a tall woman with long, dark wings wrapped around herself. With ears covered in piercings, her black hair hung down to cover one eye while the back was bunched up into some sort of bun. But it wasn’t the cute kind of hair bun. It was… cool. I had no idea that hair buns could even look that cool, yet hers pulled it off.

“I’m so sleepy,” the racoon said. “I just want to play more vidya…”

Vala lit up. “This—this racoon! She’s one of my people! We’re going to be super lazy together!”

“Yaaay.”

I thought Cami sounded monotone. The racoon taught me it was possible to be even more monotone than Cami was.

“So,” Vala said, “I guess two people won the bet. Cami and Lavi.”

“Aww,” Delphi whined. “I really thought I’d be right…”

“What’d you guess?” I asked.

“A spider.”

“A—a spider? Why?”

“Because spiders!”

“What kind of answer is that?! What sort of hints could have led you to guessing that?!”

“I thought it made sense… you know, because spiders eat other bugs and stuff who might want to harm flowers. Wasn’t one of the hints that whoever is in the tower is usually around gardens… or something?”

I think she has a point. This was back before you dropped the hint that the name started with an R. Or was it me who dropped the hint? Man… this reveal has been so long in the making that I can’t even remember anymore.

“Yeah, I can’t even remember either,” I said. “But with Delphi’s logic, if it came from before the hint that the name starts with an R, I guess it made sense.”

Wait, Drake, did you know that there were multiple waifus in there?

“Nope. Had no idea. I haven’t even seen the one girl who I know is in there yet.”

YOU MEAN THERE ARE EVEN MORE?

AND YOU’RE NOT FREAKING OUT ABOUT THIS OR ANYTHING?

WHY ISN’T ANY OF THIS SURPRISING TO YOU?

“Something like that isn’t surprising anymore. I’m more concerned about how some of these pieces of popcorn got a perfect coating of butter and salt despite watching the saltshaker and butter cup never go anywhere near them. Seriously… how did that happen?”

YOU ARE SO—

WAIT

ANOTHER ONE IS COMING OUT

“A spider?!” Delphi shouted.

Unfortunately for Delphi, there was no spider. Instead, the next woman to come out from the tower was another winged woman. While she also had dark wings similar to the raven’s, there were bright spots of red to differentiate herself from her. Not to mention that she had short, cutesy hair and a bubbly personality to contrast against the gloomy raven. “Hi!” the girl shouted.

“Robin! I guessed that!” Clawdia shouted in response. “Nyahaha! I knew it! I was chasing birds one day—robins, and they flew into the tower to escape me! It was obvious as soon as I saw that since there was no way they’d fly into a tower for safety if it wasn’t their home, nya!”

I flicked a piece of popcorn at Clawdia’s cheek. “Don’t go chasing birds.”

“Wa-wait. I mean… I would never do something so lowly! Only—only peasant cats would run around chasing birds in their free time! Or trying to catch fish! Or rubbing up against scratching posts! I’d never do any of those!”

“You just admitted to chasing birds.”

“You misheard things. I said I was… hunting birds!”

“What’s the difference?!”

“Chasing is for peasants, hunting is for nobility!”

I sighed and rubbed my forehead while Clawdia looked just as smugly confident as Cami. The worst part was that I couldn’t even argue with her logic. As far as I was aware, hunting was a popular sport among nobility back in the day.

Actually, there were ways I could dispute her logic, but I was already too done with her to try. Plus, I was still waiting for the girl I met before to come out of the tower and didn’t want to delay things any longer.

That was when yet another girl came out.

This one was shorter than the rest by about half… but she came bursting out into the spotlight with a heavy Gatling gun held in her hands. The gun alone was as big as she was! A skinny, rat-like tail stuck out behind her while a pair of rat ears constantly twitched atop her head. “Ready for date, yes-yes!” the girl, her eyes covered by green goggles, shouted out in a squeaky voice. All anybody could really see of her face was her smile, but the smile alone was enough to give her a sort of… insane presence. Well, that plus the giant gun that looked ready to commit war crimes in the name of a fictional rat god with horns.

I don’t even know anymore. At this point, it almost feels like every single guess or theory about who was in the tower is going to come true.

“It does kind of feel that way,” I said.

Vala wiped a tear away from her eyes before saying, “So many new gamers to play with. This is beautiful…”

I patted Vala’s shoulder and then looked at Window again. “There’s probably no point in asking who guessed what anymore. Everybody is going to end up being right anyway at this rate.”

Maybe… maybe not. There couldn’t possibly be even more in there, right? It’s like it’s infinitely bigger on the inside or anything! It’s not a time-traveling telephone box or a tower-shaped clown car! This is insane even for our pocket universe! And you don’t even care! All you’re doing is standing there eating popcorn!

“It’s good popcorn.”

Window might not have been in her humanoid body, but I could still tell when she meant to sigh by how she’d lower her body and slouch forward.

Then came the next reveal.

Walking out from the tower with a much shyer demeanor than the rest, one arm nervously crossed over her front to hold on to the other, was a woman with tall, thin ears protruding from the top of her head. The ears were exceptionally fluffy, too. I immediately felt my interest grow as I wanted nothing more than to grope and fondle her ears, but I resisted.

After all, my hands were covered in butter from the popcorn.

I didn’t want to ruin the fluffiness of her ears with butter.

“Drake! Drake!” Vala shouted. “That’s—that’s too powerful! She’s wearing a shrine maiden’s dress! A miko bunny archer girl?! How could such a powerful waifu exist?! This isn’t good for my heart!”

“Pl-please be at ease!” the bunny girl said, her voice just as nervous as she looked.

“Ugh… she even sounds so proper… I can’t. She’s too cute. I am die. Thank you forever.”

“Please don’t die!” The bunny girl’s expression turned from one full of nervousness to one full of panic as she panicked in place, unsure of what to do as Vala played dead by slumping against my side while making sure not to drop her remaining popcorn.

“She’s just being dramatic,” another voice said—another voice?

This fresh voice caused the bunny girl to jump and hide within the robin’s wings, leaving only her ears sticking up out from them.

Now standing amongst the group was a tall—incredibly tall woman with sleek, red hair, a multitude of eyes on her forehead about her normal set of eyes, and… the lower half of a spider. Something about her design looked incredibly familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it.

“Darling—I mean,” the spider woman cleared her throat, “wrong script. Do not mind me.”

Alright, now we’re just getting too meta here.

“Spider!” Delphi shouted. “I knew it! I win! I win! Right, Master?! I guessed spider!”

“That’s right. You win,” I said, causing Delph to shine a bright smile that could overwhelm all other sources of light in the area.

The insanity of the situation wasn’t over yet, either.

So many girls came out of the tower that I couldn’t keep up with them. There was one girl who looked like a red fox, a girl with the antlers of a reindeer who also had a glowing red nose, a strong and thick girl with a rhino horn sticking out from her forehead, one woman with the lower half of a snake with a tip tipped with a rattle, a red panda—just a normal, red panda, and then even more girls whose species started with the letter R.

ok.

Okay.

OKAY.

Now that we HAVE AN ENTIRE ZOO OF WAIFUS AT THIS POINT

Which one is the one who was supposed to come out of the tower? Which one did you meet before?

“None of them. They’re all new to me.

HECKING HOW?!?!?!?!

“Honestly, I’m just as surprised as you are at this point.”

YOU’RE ONLY JUST NOW SURPRISED AT ALL OF THIS?

“Well, yeah. I really expected her to come out sooner. I wonder if she’s okay. Maybe I should go and—”

Before I could finish my idea of checking on her, there was one last girl who stood within the doorway, still obscured by darkness.

And I could tell that she was the one who I met before.

Of course, there was also the chance that I was just misleading everybody and that one of the previously mentioned girls actually was the one who I met before.

They, and you, would just have to wait and find out.