I had no idea what Lavi was planning on doing in order to stop the bomber from reaching the greenhouse.

Lavi was faster than the bomber was, so she was able to reach the greenhouse before the bomber with ease. The problem, though, was that she had no way of taking the bomber out. She didn’t have any special abilities like Delphi and Cami yet since her tower wasn’t upgraded, though it wasn’t like their abilities would help in this situation either.

Was Lavi going to pull out some secret move that none of us knew about?

Was she going to do something absolutely outrageous like challenge the bomber to a racing game duel?

She looked confident with an almost smug smile as she waited for the bomber to get closer, her arms crossed over her chest and her sword sheathed at her side. She looked like she was more interested in looking cool with her pose than actually dealing with the bomber.

However, as soon as the bomber got close enough, she turned to look at the final line of defense next to her. I always kept a dog tower near the greenhouse, after all.

And Lavi scaled that tower with ease. The tower wasn’t meant to be scaled like that and offered few opportunities for footing, but she jumped from ledge to ledge until she reached the top of the tower.

The bad news was that, because the tower wasn’t upgraded to its third tier yet, it was only two stories high. That meant she wasn’t able to reach the bomber since it flew at about the same height of third-tier towers.

Yet, Lavi never stopped looking confident.

Then, as soon as the bomber was in front of the tower…

She drew her sword and jumped.

Reaching the bat from where she jumped was impossible, but she managed to get pretty close and right underneath the bomber.

“Come on!” she shouted at the bat. “Let’s fall together!”

Right before her fall began, she threw her sword with all of her force up at the bat’s left wing. Now, this world we were in wasn’t about to show anything bloody and gory like cutting a bat’s wing off of its body. Instead, what happened was Lavi’s sword crashed into the bat’s wing and forced it to retract against its body.

A trail of smoke followed the injured wing through the air as the bat flew in a downward spiral before eventually crashing into the ground!

I might have felt a tiny bit bad for the bat if it didn’t look like it had fun acting like a crashing plane.

As for Lavi, she stood on the ground with her hand held out to her side with her eye closed. Once again, I wasn’t sure what she was doing until the sword fell right within her grasp. She closed her hand at the perfect time to catch the sword by its handle just before it could hit the ground.

It was only when she managed to catch her sword without even looking like a total showoff that she opened her eye again. “Fufu. How was that, Master?” She might have tried to look all cool and badass, but the wagging of her tail gave away just how excited she was to get some praise.

“You’re awesome, Lavi,” I said. “I’ll give you some headpats when this is over.”

Her tail wagged even harder. “Then I’ll finish this in a flash!” And with that, she was back at the front line.

Clawdia was back in action, too, but with far less showy results. Sure, she was able to hold her own for the most part, but her mecha went down far faster than I expected it to. It seemed like Lavi, who I would have thought counted as weaker since she wasn’t upgraded to a unique tower yet and because Clawdia was a former boss, was actually stronger.

That was when I realized something.

I realized that one of the most annoying, horrible constants in all of video games was still true even in this world.

Vala, who I thought wasn’t paying any attention, must have had the same realization since she beat me to actually saying it. “I guess it’s a universal truth that bosses always become weaker when they join your team.”

“You’re capable of changing anything you want in this world,” I said. “Can’t you make it so that bosses don’t get nerfed just because they join us?”

Vala shook her head with a defeated sigh. “That law is too strong. Not even a dragon can change that.”

“You can literally create pocket universes and change anything you want here.”

“Some things are beyond our comprehension, Drake. It’s a law of existence itself, older than time and light, that video game bosses aren’t allowed to be as strong as they were during the fight against them when they join the player’s team.”

“How were there video games before time and light?!”

“Vidya transcend existence.”

“Then are you saying that games are basically equal to being gods?”

“Exactly!” Vala declared as she dramatically pointed a finger at me. “Now you see, Drake! Everything you’ve been through – this whole world and everybody here has been set up just to teach you that video games are the true gods! There is nothing higher than gaming! That’s why we should all spend every single day worshipping our vidya gods by playing games!”

“You set all of this up just to teach me that?!”

Vala nodded a couple of times while looking awfully proud of herself.

“Are you sure you aren’t making all that up to justify you being lazy and wanting to play games all day?”

“Of – of course not. I would never lie about the amazing glory that is video games.”

“I don’t think you’re lying, just extremely exaggerating.”

“Aren’t they the same? At what point does extremely exaggerating cross into lying?”

“When – actually… that’s a good question. I was going to say when it becomes more exaggeration than truth, but isn’t even the tiniest exaggeration technically a lie? Plus exaggeration used in comedy and comedy isn’t lying.”

“Are you sure? Isn’t comedy just funny lying?”

“I think the intent matters. If you intend on being funny, it’s not lying. If you intend on deceiving somebody, it’s lying.”

“But what if you intend on being funny but you’re perceived as trying to deceive?”

“Can’t we just sum this up with what you’ve said before then? That everything is subjective?”

Vala’s eyes sparkled a little bit as she shot a finger gun at me. “Exactly!”

“I have to admit, that’s a pretty effective method of shutting down any potential debate over things like that. All you have to do is say ‘everything is subjective.’”

Vala nodded another couple of times. “It’s the best phrase.”

“Subjectively best.”

“Nice.”

“I’ve learned from the objectively best dragon.”

Hearing that, Vala’s cheeks turned a bit red. “Y-you think I’m the objectively best dragon?”

“You’re also the only dragon I know, but yes.”

“Wo-woah… calling somebody the objectively best is like the highest compliment in the universe! When everything is subjective, it’s super serious when something is objective!”

“Doesn’t that take away from everything being subjective?”

“Of course not. Even objectivity is subjective. But the point is that if somebody perceives you as the objective best, then it means you’re so awesome in their eyes that they believe it’s objective instead of subjective.”

“What if somebody calls you the objectively worst?”

“Oh, well, you might as well give up on life at that point.”

“Isn’t that too extreme?!”

AHHHHHHHHHHH

As much as I wanted to question Vala about her belief that being called the objectively worst meant one might as well give up on life, it seemed like Window had something important to say. I assumed that, anyways. It wasn’t every day that she popped up out of nowhere in all-caps.

It was only almost every day.

Plus Vala was already back to paying attention to her game.

“What?” I asked Window.

IT’S ONLY THE FIRST BATTLE OF THE VOLUME AND WE ALREADY FORGOT ABOUT EXPLORATIONS

AND THE BATTLE IS ALMOST OVER

UHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

IT’S OKAY IF WE HURRY AND SEND DELPHI AND CAMI RIGHT?

“I don’t see why not. Delphi! Cami! Can you two go on a rushed exploration?”

Delphi dropped all her bones into a pile and gave me a salute in the distance while Cami ran up to us and asked, “Can Handy come?”

SURE I DON’T CARE

Plus… I guess that you could say that Handy is coming in handy.

“Cami already made that joke,” I said.

Dang it, I stop paying attention for like 5 minutes and I miss something and end up looking unoriginal.

“But… you were there when she made the joke.”

Oh, was that when you were flirting or whatever? I wasn’t really paying attention.

“Then what were you doing?”

Thinking about the upcoming banner in my idol gacha game.

“Just… send Delphi and Cami. And Handy.”

OKAY EXPLORATION TIME

Delphi, Cami, and Handy vanished in poofs of smoke for the exploration despite the battle almost being over.

“Make sure that all the bones Delphi gathered get teleported back to our base, alright?” I said.

What? You think I wouldn’t make sure that all her work doesn’t go to waste? The woman has broth to make!

“By the way, Window. Do you have a favorite food?”

I’ve never eaten so no.

“Alright. In that case, do you have a food that you would love to try?”

Hmm. Hamburgers. Big, juicy hamburgers with a ton of cheese and other stuff inside. Like the kind of hamburger that might give you a heart attack before you’re done eating it. I’ve seen videos of people eating those before, and read news about people dying from them before, so I want to try one.

“The fact that people have died from it makes you want to try them even more?!”

Obviously! If it was so good that they ate it until it killed them, that has to mean that it’s super good!

Vala spoke up to say, “She has a point,” before returning to her game again.

“Of course you’d agree with her,” I said and sighed.

So, Window wanted to try burgers.

That was something to keep in mind.

And something else to keep in mind was that there was a battle going on that I probably should have paid some more attention to.

While the bees engaged in aerial dogfights over the battlefield, Lavi and Clawdia managed the battle on the ground. Surprisingly, it seemed like the roles between Lavi and Clawdia were reversed as Lavi was now the one on the verge of going down. It seemed like most of the enemies were going down her lane now and she just didn’t have the damage output to deal with them.

“Fufu… you’re tough little ones, I’ll give ya that,” Lavi said, her body bruised and cut as she wiped a hand over her forehead. Several skeleton cats stood in front of her ready to take her down.

Skeleton cats might have been the only ground enemy that we saw so far, but there was an absolute ton of them. It really did look like they were fighting against an unending legion of the dead.

Then, just as one of the cats was about to take Lavi down, Clawdia appeared with a rocket-powered jump to land on the ground right in front of Lavi with her mecha. The oversized, mechanical arms of her machine were more than capable of smashing the skeleton cats away, giving Lavi a chance to recover and get her health back.

“Heh… never thought that you’d be the one to save me,” Lavi said.

“Don’t – don’t get the wrong idea!” Clawdia shouted. “It’s not like I’m helping you because I want to, nya!”

Lavi smiled and took a look over at Clawdia’s lane. Her visible eye went wide. “Woah… you destroyed them over there.” What she saw when she looked at Clawdia’s lane were countless skeleton cats piled up on the sides of the path, many with dramatic tears in their eye sockets as their bodies slowly came back together.

“Who do you think I am? Pathetic skeletons are no match for Team Dai-Gurr—I mean, for me!”

“Fufu, I like that line. ‘Who do you think I am?’ I might have to steal that from ya.”

Clawdia reached one of her mecha’s hands up to scratch the side of its “head.” “A-about that… I… kind of stole it from something else.”

“Oh, what? It sounds awesome.”

“It is! It’s the best! Do – do you like mechas?”

“Mechas are awesome. Especially when they’re piloted by people who have no idea what they’re doing at first but end up being total badasses.”

The mechanical tail connected to the back of Clawdia’s mecha began to wag as she practically hopped the machine up and down a little. “Then – then! Do you – uh… do you… maybe… want to watch a mecha show with me?”

“We can watch it as soon as the battle is over. Does that answer your question?”

Clawdia’s mecha wiggled from side to side a little. “G-good! Not… not that I want to watch my favorite anime with you or anything… obligatory nya.”

I had to do a double take when I heard that. “Did she just said ‘obligatory nya?’” I asked.

She’s a catgirl. What did you expect? She has to satisfy her daily quota of nyas.

Rather than question it, I watched the rest of the battle that seemed to feature both Lavi and Clawdia fighting far more intensely than before. They must have really wanted to go and watch that show together.

I was curious about what it was, too, so I thought about joining them. Then again… maybe it would be better to let them have some private bonding time together. Watching Clawdia and Lavi together was actually pretty nice. I never expected their personalities to really go together, but I thought they were a good match.

Yes, yes. Let the shipping flow through you! You have to ship your girlfriends together for all the yuri fanservice!

Personally, I’m a fan of the Delphi x Vala ship. You have Delphi who is super energetic and always wants to play and just wants to make people happy. Then you have Vala who is super lazy and always wants to play (video games) but also wants to make people happy. So it’s a ship of one girl who’s energetic, one who’s lazy, and they both take turns playing different things to make the other one happy which makes themselves happy.

I also just really like super hyper girls paired together with super lazy girls.

“Got it,” I said. “I’m going to disregard everything I read from you just now.”

WHY?!

“Because it was from you.”

wow

r u d e

“I know.”

Back to the battle, since that was really what I wanted to watch during its final moments, the bees got their revenge when another bomber showed up without anywhere near as big of an escort force as before. The bees swarmed the bat, shooting it with their stingers until its entire body was covered in them. The bat tried its best to make it to the greenhouse, but it failed. All of those stingers, for some reason, caused a dramatic explosion where the bat was. The bat was fine, of course, despite being in the center of an explosion that should have turned its body into bloody chunks.

Once the bat fell to the ground, the battle was officially over. That was the last enemy.

Our first battle in the new zone was a flawless victory.