Chapter 30: Drink Drink Drink

Jackalope had gone to talk with Nunuk at the head table resulting in a sly grin on the old lady’s face. Vulzan seemed keen too, getting up to help Jackalope and the two scampered off. Nunuk got up and called out to the hall

“Anyone who thinks they can outdrink the toughest bastard here, please make your way to the center. We shall be testing our new brother at arms”

There was a substantial amount of cheering. It wasn’t often they got to let loose like this but they had earned it, besides it was partly at least on Vulzan’s bill. A table was placed in the middle of the room, Vulzan's cask being placed at one end much to the trader’s dismay. The guy had apparently been hoping they would at least start with one of their own.

The contestants lined up on either side of the table: Tom, Nunuk, Jackalope, Anchor, Rachuck, Shiva, Raulf, Kokashi, Herron, and even Vulzan lined up. The trader was clearly keen to at least get some of the ale he had brought out. They were gonna need more than one cask though with this many contestants.

Sapphire stayed out, she might be competitive as hell but she knew from experience she could not hang with Jackalope in this field. Not to mention Shiva. It was good to see Nunuk still giving it a go. She might be getting on a bit, but she wasn’t done yet.

Mugs were filled and Apuma took up position at the end of the table shaking his head. “May the waste of good ale commence. Bottoms up! And may the gods have mercy on those who will clean up afterward.” This was gonna be a mess, she gave the old man that.

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Well, okay then a feast. Tom wasn’t gonna argue with that. They ate well here, but he had yet to see any real festivities. They were apparently welcoming the trader and honoring the dead all in one. About as good an excuse as any, Tom concluded. He could see now why the greeting hall and grand hall were right next to each other. A large hatch over the doors leading out to the Greeting hall had been opened with the outer door shut. Letting Archeon's head inside. A whole hog on spit had been brought out for the dragon. Tom caught himself staring quite a few times at the massive dragon looming over the festivities. He did bring his meal back into the greeting hall to eat though, sticking his head back in once he had finished.

That was about when Jackalope had come up with the plan for a drinking contest. Getting smashed hadn’t been on Tom’s list of plans for the night, but he wasn’t gonna pass up the opportunity to partake in this cultural event. It had nothing to do with the fact he was quietly confident following what had happened when the dragonettes had tried some of the stuff designed to affect him. Besides this was a matter of not only national but racial pride. He was representing the whole of humanity… In a drinking contest.

It dawned on Tom as he sat there, that all this time he was representing humankind and he hadn’t thought about it until they challenged him to a drinking contest… Thank the lord he hadn’t become a diplomat. With this newborn appreciation for the importance of what was going to happen next, he started eyeing up his opponents.

Shiva and Jackalope did both have him beaten in mass, but if they could only handle half the alcohol of a human this would be a walk in the park. The ale being served was by Tom’s estimate fairly normal. Maybe 4-6 % so not the weak stuff Fengi had given him way back when. On Apumas signal they had all gone for the bottom.

Tom wasn’t the first to finish, not even close, but he wasn’t last either. Slightly surprised he looked around, most of them were just pouring it down, not swallowing gulps or anything like that. just open mouthes and then a full-on waterfall. There was quite a bit of splashing from that method though. He had always wanted to learn how to just pour it down, but so far all attempts had ended poorly. No matter, he was in for the long haul here. It did seem a bit like cheating though that so much ale simply missed.

The mugs were refilled and Apuma repeated the command “Bottoms up” and they all went back in. The mugs were perhaps a little under half a liter so not too bad but still at this pace Tom wouldn’t last long.

It was clear though that not all at the table were just as hardcore as Nunuke or Shiva, Vulzan was already starting to take his sweet time. Though Tom couldn’t figure out if that was more to enjoy the ale. Jackalope was sitting opposite of him and she showed no sign of slowing down and she was eyeing him intently, it was clear who her target was.

Besides him were Kokashi and Rachuck, they were keeping up well too. The full mugs were passed around Wiperna and Fengi had taken the responsibility of working the cask and they were going at it like pros. ‘Thank God I don’t have to teach them to pour a drink right’ Tom mused to himself attacking the third mug of ale. It was a good thing this stuff wasn’t very heavily carbonated or Tom would have been in trouble already, but so far so good.

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Well so far most were doing, as usual, Shiva and Jackalope taking the lead and mostly fighting each other with Nunuk putting up a valiant effort. Tom wasn’t a fast drinker, but slow and steady could win a race after all. Sapphire was wondering just how the human would react to getting drunk if he could even.

On the third mug, even Jackalope and Shiva had to slow down, taking a few breaks between gulps Tom was also beginning to slow down as well but still keeping pace with the others. It looked like Kokashi and Rachuck were both trying to battle the human having seated next to him once the fourth mug was finally passed around, they both struggled to get to the bottom.

As per the rules contestant had 10 minutes to get their drinks done, Vulzan had already dropped out on the fourth. Kokashi and Rachuck were out on the fifth, clearly sensing this wasn’t going their way. With Herron just about managing it, much to the dismay of his fellow guards. Anchor put him in his place though managing to get the sixth down as well but calling it there, Raulf tried for the seventh but failed. By now all the contestants were taking their time. They were approaching the one hour mark, the first few mugs going quickly.

Archeon had made a comment about how Vulzan really didn’t put on much of a show and how next time he would just put everyone in their place. Sapphire would happily admit she quite wanted to see a dragon drinking contest, as long as she wasn’t paying for it. By now the cheering had begun urging the remaining contestants on. They were down to Nunuk Jackalope Shiva and Tom. So he had the title of toughest male drinker at least, Sapphire mused.

Esmeralda was doing her best to keep the kids over in their corner, but her limp from the cut didn’t help. In the end, she had just given up clearly annoyed no one else had tried to help out. But Sapphire couldn't very well do anything about it. She was still on her crutches for a while longer, Tom was occupied and well, it wasn't like it would hurt anyway.

As the seventh mug was going down, the crowd was starting to pick favorites, Tom was receiving quite the backup with Kiran now leading of course. Sapphire elected to join in, if nothing else he might beat Jackalope, that would do for her. The eighth mug proved too much for Nunuk leaving just Jackalope, Shiva, and Tom.

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Tom’s hopes that this was gonna be easy were long gone now, as he stared down into the eighth mug of ale. At least they seemed to be struggling as well, he had done something like this before, but they were remarkably quick about. This one would mark around 4 liters in about one and a half hours. He let out a burp as he went back in on Apuma's order the crowd cheered. He couldn’t help but notice the kids were now also taking part in the chanting. Even Archeon had added his considerable voice to the choir.

It had been a struggle but the eight one went down, with Shiva finishing before him and Jackalope just about managing it before the deadline. She looked hammered by now leaning on the table but still had her eye’s looked on Tom not blinking. Tom was feeling fairly drunk by now, even if it would need more time to properly kick in. The ninth mug was passed around, if he made ten he could claim to be the first to drink a knighthood on another world. That was about as good a reason as he had ever had.

The ninth proved too much for Jackalope as she coughed halfway through ale going everywhere. She put the mug back down looking sick. Tom was struggling by now, even if it was more of a space in the belly situation, for now at least. As the tenth was brought up he went.

“back in mye homeee, the is tradition! Drink 10 mug oefe beer one sittinmng, and you becomesk Knight” He lifted his glass to Shiva “Skål! For a knighthood” and went about his duty.

“Skål” rang out as Shiva lifted her glass once more. She struggled but she did manage it just about. Tom seemed to be getting the better of her, He had never done this so quickly but then again there were a lot less bubbles in this stuff.

As the eleventh mug was brought out they both took a while staring at each other. They both knew this was likely to be the decider. “To those who can no longer join us” Apuma went, “aye” Tom answered, Shiva just raising her mug silently. As he drank he had to fight to keep it flowing, he was at the end of his rope and he really didn’t want to puke. As he became lost in thought focusing on not being sick, he just kept the ale flowing, this one was for all of humanity.

The last of the mug trickled down his gullet. Slamming the mug down he saw Shiva still struggling before she slowly tipped over backward and the mug still held high. Hitting the floor with a thunk. He just broke out laughing at the sight as the crowd cheered, then forgot he was sitting on a bench as he tried to lean back in turn mimicking the procedure with another thunk.

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Sapphire was done, that was just too hilarious, not only had Tom beaten the best drinker she knew, he had ended with a flourish. Well, if you could call it that. The hall had been filled with raucous laughter and cheering as he fell over. As he laid there staring up into the ceiling, he just held up his empty mug in triumph and went. “Skål!”

As the evening wore on most of the contestants quickly gave in to the alcohol wandering about completely sloshed, Jackolope even managed to fall asleep in the middle of bragging. Tom too was clearly heavily affected, but he seemed to be having a blast even if he had reached the point of complete nonunderstanding. Sapphire thought several languages were involved by now, but to be honest she had no clue. The kids had been put to sleep as this was clearly going to be quite the night.

Dakota had retired following the drinking contest. Sapphire did feel quite sorry for her even if she had never been much for partying she was clearly not well. Tom had tried to teach Fengi some kind of dance, which she clearly found very amusing. Sapphire couldn’t help but laugh either as Tom clearly had no idea what he was doing. Esmeralda and Kokashi had made their way over probably to point and laugh, but before long he had them lined up, holding each other's shoulders. He was singing something which the others were trying to mimic to Tom's evident enjoyment.

After fooling around for a while he left the group, coming over to Sapphire seeming either worried or puzzled, eying her leg and wing still in splints. Judging by the motions he was making he seemed to be trying to work out if he could carry her while dancing.

“I’m not going dancing if that is what you plan on asking.”

He seemed to understand, as he ran off he gestured for the others to go over to Sapphire. Curious at what he was planning now they did so. He returned a short while later with two small beakers of some kind. He revealed some dice stored within one of them. They were very fine dice, not that Sapphire hadn’t sene dice before she even had some. They used dots to show the numbers rather than runes though so there was that.

“I think he wants to a play game” Sapphire let out cheerfully

“This should be fun watching him explain a game in this condition”

“We play Meyer!” Tom clarified. This should be good Sahppire thought.

The game had proven simple it was based on deception and memory. Sapphire had been quite confident once she had worked out all the rules. Not that there were many. In Tom’s condition, he was bound to be an easy opponent. Jackalope had fallen asleep again during the explanation. But they had a few people at the table who weren't too drunk. She admired Tom’s ability to explain the game while drunk even if he was clearly struggling with the draconic.

After a few tries and some demonstrations, everyone who was still awake felt confident they understood the game. The game was a drinking game much to Sapphire’s dismay but no matter she was seated next to Tom and there was no way he would come of better of the two.

As the game wore on Sapphire had to reevaluate her standpoint Tom was clearly winning out of everyone. She couldn’t wrap her head around just how he was still this good at a game about deception while completely drunk. Just how good was he actually when sober she wondered, feeling slightly worried about Nunuk’s plans. He had brought out his little flask of whiskey for when anyone suffered a loss to a Meyer. She got the chance to have a taste more than once. That was definitely strong stuff. It was very good though not like some of the stuff Raulf had tried making that one time.

When they finished the game, Sapphire too was feeling quite unsteady on her feet. Dammit, she really didn’t need to slip on the now wet floors and break her wing again. She along with a few of the others made their excuses heading off to bed and with Esmeralda’s help, she managed it without any further injuries.

It had been quite the night already. Tom though was apparently not quite done, Jackalope had woken up again seeming a bit clearer in the head after her nap. The two had wandered off to gods know where Sapphire was too tired to bother by now.

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As Tom woke the next morning he had a splitting headache, he could remember most of the night before, which he found quite impressive. He had defended his honor in the drinking contest taught them, Meyer, and even got them to dance to Volvo B18. Even if he couldn’t bring out the music on account of Vulzan.

As he moved around he was quite sore and found he had slept on the floor. Okay, so maybe he didn’t remember everything after all. More concerning was that he was currently using the sleeping Jackalope as a pillow. He got up with a start which his head rewarded him for by hurting even more. As he looked around trying to take note of the situation he was in the smithy of all places? Shiva was sitting sleeping in a rocking chair in the corner.

That combined with the fact he was still fully clothed did mostly assure him he hadn’t done something too stupid last night. He was dirty too, his hands were black with soot and coal dust. Just what had they been up to in here?

He slowly got up to look around and on the table, he found paper complete with smudged fingerprints and coal dust. But that was most definitely an attempt at a technical drawing of some kind. Inspecting it closer his head still throbbing that looked an awful lot like a flintlock mechanism…

‘Oh, you absolute fucking idiot!’ Tom winched why had he… god dammit. Looking around further he found a mortar and pestle surrounded by all too familiar ingredients. But where had he found sulfur, and was that white stuff really saltpeter? No, it couldn’t be, could it?

The others were still sleeping, so he might as well find out if drunk science had produced black powder. He mixed the ingredients pounding them together carefully. The resulting fine powder would do, he poured it out onto a wooden chopping board which had clearly been used for testing the night before.

As he used the striker from the forge to try and light the powder nothing happened. It would appear not. What was this white stuff then? It smelled horrible. Wait, oh god no! Not fucking guano, dammit drunk Tom! He tried desperately to clean his fingers on his already very dirty clothes. At least his drunken self had forgotten that stuff needed a little basic refining before it was usable. But if that sulfur was good enough, this could maybe work. Well then, back to that same argument again. Do or don’t? If he was being honest he wasn’t fooling anyone, they would figure this out eventually. It wasn’t like he could teach them chemistry and not expect them to figure this out on their own.

But should he teach them right now? They didn’t seem like bad people to him. He didn’t know much about the rest of the world though.

This was not the sort of mental discussion to have when this hungover. Besides, it was a little late now and that huge dragon in the hangar did seem to point towards that this world had things more dangerous than a dude with a rifle. For now, he would just relax, it wasn’t like this had actually worked. That is when the door swung open revealing Esmeralda followed by Fengi, Kokashi, and a few of the others who hadn’t gotten too drunk last night. He heard Sapphire call out in the back “So did they or didn’t they?”

Tom just stood there like a deer in the headlights staring at Esmaralde who was clearly looking him over “Didn’t, I think. Though I have no clue what they have been doing” She sounded almost disappointed but curious at the same time.

The rather unwanted guests started filling into the smithy and Esmeralda inspected the ingredients on the table.

“Have you been doing alchemy… While drunk?” she sounded more incredulous than questioning and Tom just nodded holding his hands over his ears. This many people made too much noise this early in the morning, or well whatever time it was.

“What is this?” Fengi questioned holding up the paper drawings. Well now the decision was most definitely made, might as well roll with it. “Gun” just answered. The stunned silence was bliss for his poor head. Somehow though, that seemed to wake Jackalope up. “What the fuck are you all doing here, this is my room… wait no. Why am I here?” Jackalope was clearly still suffering from last night's drinking.

“You and Tom apparently decided to start building weapons while drunk in the middle of the night” Esmaraldea tried

“Awesome, what did we make? I’m so tired it better be good.” Was the response from Jackalope. Esmeralda just sighed, shaking her head.

“You tried making a gun, I think. Nobody tells Vulzan! That is an order, okay” There was nodding from the crowd.

“Yeaah! A gun... Wait what?”