《Planet-Eater Reincarnation (in Star Wars)》Chapter 67, Space-Pirates!!

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Good morning. It is now day five aboard ship-whose-name-I’ve-forgotten.

Since Charge won’t tell me anymore I’ve been trying to do research on my own, but since political and historical information in the archives is pretty sparse, the best I can do is to try my best to better understand the galaxy and its culture. Y’know, instead of the possible conspiracy behind the Empire and the Jedi and all that. Sure, I wouldn’t say learning about etiquette and animals is quite as interesting as the conspiracy, but, y’know, ain’t got a choice.

So, why am I only now doing something other than eat, sleep and research?

Well, uh, it seems my conditions have changed a little bit. Right at this moment, I’m standing stupidly in the hallway while people run past, shouting and yelling about the thing that’s gotten our whole little fleet of ships abuzz.

Namely, pirates.

Space pirates.

I’m pretty sure that’s what it is, at least. Informing me about things has kind of gotten lost in the rabble (much like myself) since everyone is so focused on getting to their stations. And me? Well, I’m… I’m standing right here! Yup. Hoping we won’t get shot out of the sky or anything.

Hm? Seems like a large party of troopers and technicians and officers is heading this way.

“No, I don’t understand their presence either-, yes, we have never sighted pirates in this sector before. Ensign Fern, will you please calm down? No, our strategy will not be to simply shoot them on sight… Both I and the Lieutenant have good reason to believe that-, please, this is-,” Typhin’s eyes meet mine. Uh, hi sir!

He sharply nods towards the way they’re going, urging me to come along. Well, there’s my sign!

Carefully evading dashing troopers and technicians, I join the small group of clamouring officials, trying my best to understand what they’re trying to talk about. As has been said, it seems a single pirate ship has been sighted. The markings and make are unknown but seem to be largely local to the nearest populated systems. So far, they don’t seem too intent on attacking. Which is understandable since they only have a single ship and we have several.

For now, the pirate ship seems to have taken to fleeing the moment they spotted us, but fearing an uncertain jump in these uncharted areas, they are unable to fully flee us. Likewise, since our ships weren’t made for speed or quick manoeuvring, (and we also don’t have any large ships capable of carrying so-called starfighters), we kind of don’t have any good way of catching up to them instantly. So, we’re just following them.

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...They’re trying to flee? Wait, so, we’re currently in pursuit of them? They aren’t attacking?

Isn’t that a bit, I dunno, cowardly? For both of us?

“Um, sir?” I am ignored by everyone in our little group except for Typhin and Fern, who both turn to me curiously. I try my best not to break out in a cold sweat. “Uh, can’t we let them go?”

He stares at me for a second, stopping where he’s standing in the middle of the hallway. Since everyone else stops as well, they all turn to me, looking very confused and interested. Oh, god, please don’t scrutinize me like this, I have no idea how any of this works!

“Let them go, you say?”

“W-, well, yeah! They haven’t attacked us or anything, so…” I know I’m not making any sense, and I probably sound really silly, but… Pirates or not, it’s not like they did anything, right? Sure, they’re fleeing justice and all that, but…

Okay, listen. These ships? They sure aren’t capable of just capturing a ship. Certainly not. We haven’t got any nets or anything like that, not that it’d work out here in space. All we have - as far as I can understand - are weapons. Lasers, in fact. Which is super cool and awesome and also a very easy way of killing someone. Charge told me just the other day that one of these laser bolts to the face and you’re dead. Typhin expected the same outcome when he shot me too.

In other words, the Empire would probably kill these pirates since there’s no other way about it. Or, rather, this ship would kill them.

And I’m sure that’s the law of space or something, and I know I talk all the time about me just being a little space octopus with no say on human law, but…

Human lives are at stake here, right? A ship full of people.

Pirates or not, they’re just men and women trying to survive. Space law or not, I don’t want a group like that to be killed just for trying to escape. It’s inhuman and unfair and even space pirates deserve a just judgement and sentence.

So, if we could let them go… Even if they go on to steal and kill, it’s worth it. I think. I’m not very good at weighing humans lives so I can’t say, but-,

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“Indeed. A most interesting proposition, Mort.” Typhin rubs his chin, grinning lightly.

-And now I feel stupid for saying anything. Darn it. Maybe I should have just let them do what they usually do? But then it might have gotten down to a brawl and the pirates might have shot down one of our ships and-, god, I just don’t know! This moral stuff is hard. One of these days I swear I’ll subject myself fully to being a space octopus. No more conscious thought. Just eat.

While I beat myself up over my moral inhibitions, we arrive in the cockpit, giving us a good look at this here pirate ship from the window.

It’s… small. Yeah, that’s it. Like, sure, the ship I’m on is far from massive, but this thing somehow feels tiny. And rickety. It’s covered with small, unnecessary details and things poking out everywhere. It looks almost shitty compared to the crisp designs of the Empire’s ships.

The technicians in our group quickly file over to their stations, joining their already stressed coworkers. The troopers do something similar while the three on-duty officers each take a seat in front of the large window.

Even though the Lieutenant (who is present) should be the one in charge, it seems like the unconscious consensus has formed that Typhin is just the man better suited for the job. Maybe it’s a little weird, but it makes my chest swell with pride. Yeah, that’s my boy!

Speaking of Typhin, he’s staring sharply at the ship. Probably analyzing every edge and detail. Man, he’s cool.

Rising his voice for all to hear, he gives his orders: “We will be following Mort’s suggestion. Order all ships to continue firing on the target. Make sure that no bolts actually strike it. Furthermore, continue following at a distance. Make it appear as though we are losing them.”

My head whips around to face him. Eh? Ehhh!? He-, he’s actually following my plan?!?

Wait, what?? I thought-, this is… Well, this is damn good news! Hooray, pirates for the win!!

He smiles thinly at me. “In the meantime, I want a hyperspace tracker placed on them in case they attempt a jump despite the conditions. Finally, intercept their communications. I don’t care how long it takes to do so - we have all the time in the world.”

Nobody verbally responds to his orders, but it seems like they’re still being responded to.

Around five minutes after Typhin ordered them to, a group of five missile-like (space torpedos?) are shot out of one of our ships, all heading for the pirate ship. For a moment I feel my heart seize up in fear. Did they not hear his orders? Did they choose specifically to ignore them? Will blood be shed today despite my efforts?

The missiles explode all at the same time in a brilliant white flair. And the pirate ship…

-Escapes unharmed!

My mouth falls open. Holy shit! Those pirates must be really good at-,

“Tracker has engaged the target. Frequency tapping at 78%,” one of the technicians says robotically.

-Huh? The tracker? How did it-,

Oh. Ohhh! They must’ve hidden the tracker-missile among the normal ones and made the normal ones explode as some sort of diversion while the tracker stuck itself to their hull! Clever.

I’d almost like it if the radio-tapping was equally complicated, but it seems like they just completed it, so it won’t be necessary.

“Frequency tapping completed.”

“Play it,” Typhin responds.

A voice crackles to life inside the cockpit. “-Middle of nowhe-” “-amn Imperials-” “-eady to come back?-” “-Didn’t mean to-” “-wounded ab-” “-send coordinates.” The two voices - for there are indeed two of them - are constantly interrupted by static, their very voices garbled to the point where it was difficult to make out their sex. Though, I am able to surmise that the one aboard the pirate ship was probably a man while the one responding was a woman.

I turn to look at Typhin, who allows an amused grin to show. “As I thought - they have a base nearby.”

Somehow, those simple words make my stomach fill with ice.

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