From this lowered perspective, not only does my own body seem looming and huge, but so does the main entrance door, which is still only about twenty meters tall, less than a third of my main body. Wack. Well, nothing’s stopping me from going inside, so let’s go!

I put one of my tentacles on the door and push.

...It’s stuck.

There’s no handle to pull either, so…

It is at this distance, with the doors almost in my face, that I get a good look at the engravings of them. Of people (yes, human people!) in long robes seemingly using mind-powers to magically lift things. Either that, or someone is slinging boulders at them that they’re trying to scare off. Hm. Say, doesn’t that three-ridged boulder look a little familiar?

Yeah, it is! That’s the same boulder as the one right over-,

I swivel around to face a boulder lying atop a golden pedestal.

-That one! That’s the exact same boulder as on the door! Weird. Okay, okay, maybe I’m going mad, but this might actually be some sort of puzzle. I mean, it’s not just the magic wizards magically lifting a boulder, there are also engravings of what happens after that. The whole process seems deeply involved with that whole magic thing, what with all the puzzles and locks that require not just one wizard, oh no, but two!

Man. Imagine if there were really wizards! That’d be just-, the thought is making me so excited I can barely still my non-existent heart.

Who doesn’t love a wizard?? Magic man! Spinning around in the air! Shooting zaps of lightning and balls of fire! The dream of any young boy who couldn’t stand the thought of real life!

Ahhh. This has to be some religious stuff, huh? Like Jesus and Sidharta doing magic floaty and water walking stuff. Yup, yup, that has it be it.

That means it’s not to be taken literally, right? Right, right.

I make my main body approach. With strength upgraded as far as it is and the body thrice the size of the door itself, pushing it open is just a matter of restraint. Wouldn’t want to damage the cool wizard engravings, after all. It creaks open, revealing the interior. While my main body sits outside like a useless puppet, I waltz inside myself.

...Whooooaaaaa. Yeah, this is-, this has to be a temple of some sort.

Magnificent pillars stretch from the pristine, untouched floor all the way to the simplistically elegant ceiling. At the base of these pillars, four statues stand proud, only two of them remaining unfinished, one more noticeably than the other. Two of the statues depict humans holding long batons while the two unfinished ones are decidedly more… alien in nature. The complete one wears a long robe, carrying a square tablet instead of a baton, but the real interesting part is his head, which has no hair, instead crowned by three thick tentacles. His eyes are blank but his face seems kind.

The most unfinished statue is hard to make out, but something about the legs isn’t quite human, what with having three joints and all.

But the grand hall is far from complete with just those statues, no, it moreover has several long now-destroyed benches running alongside it. Thick unused desks line the corners of the room.

No, wait, hang on, the desks aren’t fully unused! There’s something on one of them, and that idea makes me very very happy.

After all, it’s an abandoned temple! The urban explorer’s dream! Oh, and it’s also on an alien planet, which is… Cool too, I guess.

I slither up to the desk.

There is less on it than I thought. A small blue tablet and a wide variety of strange tools that seem beyond modern but at the same time not entirely unthinkable in design. I have no idea what these do, and since I actually sort of respect this place, it's not like I’ll just randomly eat the tools in the off-chance that it might give me points.

...I eye one of the simpler plier-like tools. Okay. One! No more!

Numch.

3 150 -> 3 300

Oh, my. That’s a pretty sweet deal! The plier was a bit chewy without any real enjoyable feature. 3/10.

I won’t eat the rest though! I made a promise, and I intend to keep it.

A little white crystal, inscribed with black symbols glints at me on the bench. Why, hello there, crystal. I hold it in my grasp. Feel it quiver. And with nary a thought of hesitation, I popped it in my mouth. Free. Innocent. Untamed. Long waiting.

3 300 -> 14 300

Ohohoho, yesss...!

Though, according to my own memories (for once), that last crystal gave more. Maybe because it was tamed and coloured? Wack. These are some weird crystals.

Alright! That’s one crystal eaten, let’s keep movi-,

No, hang on, there’s one thing on the desk left. In the very middle, surrounded by all the tools and supplies. It’s propped up on a little stand that seemed to be made just to hold it up. Whatever this thing is. It’s like a little cylinder, but it’s got such intricate designs and all these buttons and holes that I can’t imagine it being something so simple as a decoration. Furthermore, considering that it is surrounded by advanced tools, then, too, it follows that this thing, itself, is also complex.

I grab it. Whoa, heavier than it looks! Surprisingly, it fits almost perfectly in the grasp of my smallest tentacles. Like it was made to be held carefully.

Holding it up to my eye, I examine it from every perspective. On one side of the cylinder, there’s some sort of opening while the other is closed. Weird. It seems to be made from some almost-cyan metallic alloy, shining like newly felled snow. Hm. Ooh, there’s a button! I wonder what that do-,

I impale my face on it.

OW FUCK WHAT THE SHIT HECK WHAT THE FUCK-,

I throw the blasted thing to my side, retracting in pain and horror. What the heck-, what did-, that HURTS!!

Why would that-, what just-, it felt like someone impaled my face with a damn burning iron rod! Shitttt, that burns! scalding, hot fire just pierced through me out of nowhere! My body seems to boil from the inside, burning and bubbling with whatever the heck just happened. That thing is still lying over there, too, though I can barely see it.

My vision is blurring from the pain, flashes of white-hot pain pounding through me like flashes of lightning. Like someone shoved a newly-forged sword through my face. My main consciousness in this body was destroyed with a single piercing, taking two eyes and much flesh with it.

Worst of all, I can only barely feel how it recovers. It’s like that fire sword sizzled my flesh shut, making it hard to recover, slow. Inefficient.

That thing is still lying over there. The metallic cylinder was just the handle, apparently. The rest of it is a purple, flaming blade. I can’t tell if there’s anything in there, but if there isn’t, I’m straight-up impressed by the technology.

Still, my skin crawls at the thought of touching it.