Do you believe in karma? Kismet? Fate? You know the idea, I’m sure. You do something bad so something equally bad happens to you. You know, personally, I never found it to be too logical. The universe doesn’t seem as though it cares about the morality of actions.

And I wouldn’t have ever said that I did believe in karma, but… when an army of bugs comes flying out of a giant tunnel, and all of them want to stab you with very pointy horns or bite down on you with two very strong mandibles, it makes me wonder.

What did I do to deserve this?

But the two beetles that were already fighting me didn’t give me any time to ponder the philosophical quandary.

As they charged me, I jumped onto one with my leap strike, once again shattering the legs of the beetle, and sliding across the ground towards the slope. Actually, if I could manage to only pull the aggro of a few beetles at a time, jumping on them could be a very simple way to farm experience.

No time for that, though, because as much as I wanted to almost die, that swarm of a thousand beetles was definitely going to kill me. A horn stabbed me in the back again as I scampered up the slippery slope, no longer caring about touching the dung.

“Raaagh!” I cried out, slipping a bit. Mandibles bit down on my chest, cracking more than a couple of ribs. Hot blood dripped down my side, and the thundering of the beetles behind me grew louder.

I had to get up the slope. Now.

Ignoring the hot pain of the horn that had so perfectly jammed itself into poking my lung, I climbed up the slope, slipping and sliding as the cloud of bugs grew closer.

Yeah, I was probably going to die.

But on the bright side, at least one of my final accomplishments was going to be “took one hell of a beating”.

Another beetle, one from the front of the swarm, had finally reached me and slammed into me with the full force of his charge.

“Agh-!” I choked out, getting pushed up just enough of the slope that I was able to grab the top of it.

Now the beetles were pulling, though. I dug my claws into the top of the slope, pulling with all the might my arms could muster.

These scumsuckers are trying to drag me back into the swarm!

I realized that only as another beetle arrived, charging at my back.

With barely any time to react, I kicked off the slope, lifting my lower body into the air, and exposing my stomach. As the beetle’s horn sliced by directly under me, I landed on his back and kicked with all my might.

Just enough force to propel me up to the top of the slope! Yes! Now to run while two massive insects tried to pull me backward.

Have you ever been to one of those fairs where they have the blow-up games? Like bounce houses and stuff? Well, there’s a very particular game that I recall from those events, one where two people enter the center of the inflatable arena and get tied to the walls by harnesses. Now, the harnesses are connected to a rope that goes into the wall, under the floor, and out the other side, where it connects to the opponent’s harness.

The general idea is for one of you to get to the middle of the arena first, and grab whatever it is that’s in the center. And then you win.

But that’s the trick. You’re pushing against somebody else who is trying to do the same thing. So it gets harder the stronger your opponent is.

Well, that’s how running away from the swarm with two beetles locked in my chest and clamped around me felt.

Add the pain of breathing with a blade in your chest to that.

Safe to say, it wasn’t a comfortable experience, and that’s putting it lightly.

The tunnel filled with the buzzing of the swarm as I pushed my way down the hall, and I could just begin to hear the waterfall before it was drowned out by all the bugs.

If I didn’t have entomophobia before, I sure as hell do now. That’s the fear of beetle-like bugs, by the way.

A few more scouts ahead of the swarm slammed into me, one piercing through my shoulder, and another, my leg.

At least these guys have no comprehension of “shoot for the core”. Agh! Damnit!

I felt a beetle slice at my tail, probably with the hooked claws on its legs.

You are not taking more of my tail, bugstard! You already got part, and that's all you're gonna get! Just the tip!

I redoubled my efforts to make it to the beetle’s kryptonite room. I took a deep gasp of air as I sprinted, and immediately let it out in a scream of pain, stumbling as I ran.

The horn in my chest had pierced my lung.

Just a little further. I couldn’t hear the waterfall over the thunder in my ears, but it couldn’t possibly be that much further away.

Schlick!

Another dagger-horn in my side, more resistance to my sprinting. My legs were burning. My lungs, too.

Snap!

Mandibles closing around my leg now, it was harder to move it. They’d locked down one of my limbs. I was limping now.

Just… a little… further…

A slice of the hooked claw, ripping open my side. Blood gushed out and splattered against the wall, on the floor. In the dark, everything seemed so hopeless.

Is this… desperate enough yet? Please help…

My vision was growing blurry. I could barely see the stone in front of my feet and I stumbled, tripping and falling to the ground with the spears in me. Pain coursed through my body, with every breath, with every beating of my heart.

Schlick!

A final spear stabbing me through the chest. I screamed in pain, drowning out the sound of the swarm. My eyes watered. Then, I moaned, and they rolled back into my head.