《A Jaded Life》Chapter 578
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Leaving Nobost was a breath of fresh air, both figuratively and literally. There were no more complications in line, just a couple of annoying guards who wanted to take an intimate look at us as we passed them, but the moment Sigmir and I stopped controlling our innate auras, the interest evaporated like dew in the sun.
With every step we took, the scent of the city, the stink of badly washed humans, of perfume mixed with fish guts, of slowly rotting algae, swamp and shore, all faded into the distance. Sadly, that didn’t mean the air was automatically fresh and pristine, not with the farmland around the city giving off a different kind of odour. Scents of livestock and fertiliser came to my nose, less pungent than the malodour of the town, but almost as unpleasant. Still, almost was not equal, making me wonder just how the people of Nobost managed to live in a place that smelled worse than literal bullshit.
A different, unfortunate realisation came as we walked along the road and I realised that there was something missing, the subtle influx of power of the ancient roads. There was a bit of magic on the road, that I couldn’t miss, but it was far less potent than what we had been accustomed to. What’s worse, when I began to study the magic of these roads, it was tightly bound into the road, reinforcing the stone and making sure it didn’t wear away, it did nothing for the people moving along it, at least not for us. There were some tendrils reaching out, but they didn’t latch onto us, making it hard to guess their purpose.
As we moved down the road, along the river that eventually would lead into the bay forming the natural harbour of Nobost, we had to pass multiple wagons, slowly trundling down the road and could see other travellers, some of them on horseback, others on foot like us. It wasn’t truly crowded but compared to the long, deserted roads in large parts of Aretia, it was an incredible change.
For the first morning, there was never a time when we couldn’t see or hear other people, the constant sensation making me increasingly nervous. Intellectually, I knew the people were simply other travellers, moving on the same road we were but hearing them, seeing them again and again, it raised the hairs on my neck. Each loud noise made me reach for my weapons, each time we saw a group after rounding a corner or moving across a hill or out of a copse of trees, I tried to decide if we were about to run into an ambush.
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By the time we stopped for lunch, I was a frazzled mess. My crown had been sitting on my head for most of the morning, and I hadn’t truly let myself relax or fall into the comfortable thinking zone I normally used to pass the time, pondering some more or less meaningful idea regarding my magic. Even Lenore had been affected, getting drawn into my vigilance and infected with my paranoia, ready to lash out at a moment’s notice.
While starting to place the third warding formation around the small, shaded area near the river we had chosen for lunch, Sigmir pulled me into her arms, forcing me to stop. For a moment, I was about to struggle, fearing that she had been mentally compromised, struck by some sort of charm-magic or an enchantment, but the solid, stoic strength I could feel over our bond stopped me. My mountain hadn’t fallen, and would never fall.
“Love, calm down,” she whispered in my ear, still holding me in her arms as the familiar scents of comfort filled my nose, replacing the scents that had surrounded me all day. Letting out a shaky breath, I clutched at her body as I realised just how tense I had been. In my chest, my heart was racing as if I had been running for the whole day, even if I hadn’t done anything but walk, without any real exertion.
Closing my eyes, I focused on my breathing, consciously drawing in one slow breath after the other, trying to narrow my senses to the point that I experienced nothing but Sigmir. The more my mind was filled with her presence, the calmer I became. My mountain gave me shelter, and within her arms, I didn’t need to worry.
Finally, after a few minutes, I blinked my eyes back open, leaning back a bit and looking up at her.
“Thanks, dear,” I told her, pushing myself to my toes and giving her a kiss.
“Are you alright?” she asked, not letting go of me.
For a moment, I considered the question, before nodding.
“For now,” I added, not certain just how long it would last. Her presence kept me calm, but we couldn’t really walk if she had to hold me in her arms. Well, we could, but getting carried the whole time wasn’t quite how I imagined our continued journey.
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“Take as much time as you need,” she gently stroked my back, as I laid my head against her chest again. There had to be a way for me to keep calm, without completely abandoning the instincts and vigilance that had served me so well the last year.
“Retreat into your hallow for now,” Lenore spoke in my mind, “I’ll stay on Sigmir’s shoulder, that way, you can remain calm.”
Her idea was a possible solution and while a part of me rebelled against the idea of hiding and making her face any potential danger, I was aware that it was the easiest solution to implement. While having to retreat due to my own weakness, my own lack of mental fortitude and control irked me, it would allow us to continue our journey after lunch.
“I will,” I promised Lenore, before looking up at Sigmir, “I’ll rest in my Hallow for a while, she’ll remain on your shoulder. We can talk later, once we make camp for the day,” I told her, getting a nod of acceptance. She didn’t look too happy but could see that it was the easiest solution.
After I had calmed down somewhat and was sitting on Sigmir’s lap, cradled in her arms, we could proceed to lunch. With my earlier freak-out, the others were looking at me with a bit of concern, especially Rai, but none of them said anything, even if m head snapped up on occasion, staring in the direction of some distant noise my ears had picked up.
For once, those elven ears were a bit of a pain, especially as I started to subconsciously focus on them, trying to take in as much information as possible. Each breaking branch, each squirrel searching for nuts, even the leaves getting blown off the trees by the wind, they all became indications of malicious actors within the forest, making me tense up, until Sigmir gave me a squeeze, making me relax once more.
Those cycles of tension carried on throughout lunch and once it was over, I gave Sigmir a grateful look and a quick peck to the cheek, before pushing myself into my Hallow, the familiar, perfectly calm surroundings allowing me to let go of the tension still within my body.
“Better,” Lenore muttered over our connection, and I could feel her relax as well, “With how much tension you were radiating, it made me all aflutter,” she jokingly added, but I could hear the truth to it.
With how close our connection had grown over the last year, if one of us was under the influence of intense feelings, the other would be so, too, unless we deliberately blocked things out, leaving the other to deal with their emotions alone. Doing so when Sigmir and I were intimately engaged had become par for the course, but in today’s case, Lenore couldn’t know which of my cautious twinges was paranoia nad which a legitimate threat, drawing her into the same spiral I had been in.
“I’m not sure how to deal with this,” I admitted, letting my body go slack as I relaxed one muscle after the other, “Trying to blind myself and block my ears would make sure I wouldn’t notice any outside influence, but really, that would only make me more paranoid, to say nothing about actual outside threats.”
“Maybe getting a bit away from the road,” Lenore suggested, making me frown. “That way, there wouldn’t be so many people around, and their sight and noise wouldn’t automatically make you nervous.”
As I hung in the comfortable darkness of my Hallow, I considered her idea. Idly, I kept myself linked to her senses, watching as she hopped onto Sigmir’s shoulder and they started walking again.
Lenore’s idea had merit and while the road had some benefits but at our level, those were minor. Walking on a road or walking through the forest, it made little difference. Maybe I should bring it up to the others, even if a part of me was incredibly annoyed at the idea of avoiding my weakness instead of overcoming it.
But it would be better than having to retreat into my Hallow and giving up entirely.
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