Author’s Corner: Beware, the anticlimax. Enjoy the chapter!

The rest of the day went by incredibly slow. I couldn’t help but feel like there was some looming disaster just waiting to strike. I mean, Malthan sent us a on a journey for a full year to get here. If the Qu’Lopti were as capable as they seemed, then there shouldn’t be anything we can help them with.

Thankfully, it is very hard to get a restless night when you have the softest hug pillow ever imagined. The next morning, I found Celeste in her room to check up on her progress learning the language. For some reason, she seemed extremely depressed all of the sudden.

“What’s wrong?” I asked the Deus Ex, sitting in a nearby chair.

Slowly, she looked up to me, but shook her head. “It’s… nothing. I learned the language, so I’ll go ahead and pass it on to you.” Rather than sitting around and having me ‘download’ the language for a few days, she waved a hand and sent it directly into my mind with her own Soul Arts.

Since she went to this method of sending the language, I automatically understood all of it. She even included both written and verbal language. Nodding my head slightly, I stood up. “Well, if you need to chat, you know where to find me.” I tapped my own head while saying that, and she smiled slightly before I left.

When I got to the bridge, Ackbar once again beat me to the punch by announcing, “Captain on the bridge!” Is there some position I can give him to make him not do that every other time I come here?

I quickly raised my hand to stop everyone from the normal salute procedure. Of course, a few people from Earth were looking around confused. “Open up a communication channel with the leader of one of the Qu’Lopti countries.”

Soon, I would regret my decision… Rather than the normal holographic screen, this time a full three dimensional display appeared in front of me. “You are speaking with Tordaedron, bearer of the chains of chaos, owner of the black hand of death and wielder of the demon's eye! For what purpose have you contacted me?”

Displayed in the center of the room was a large figure of a blue man, a thin metal chain wrapped around his shoulder. On his right hand, he wore a black glove, while on his left he wore a white one. His eyes were likewise different colors, one being golden and the other being red.

“Uhm… Tordaedron…” I shook my head, ignoring the weird titles. Thankfully, nobody else on the bridge could understand him. “I am Captain John Hulett of the Ariadne. We are currently in orbit around your planet, and have chosen to make contact with your people.”

“Are you the promised emissary foretold by the stars, the one that has come to lay claim to our world?!” The figure shrank back in an exaggerated pose, as if he had been actually hit in the face or something.

“Uh… no. I’m here to help.”

As if nothing had happened previously, Tordaedron stood proudly on the display. “Ah! So you have come to aid this world against the fiends that wish to ravage it! Together, we shall join hands against the darkness!” He proudly lifted up his black gloved hand as he spoke.

Must… not… blow up… planet… “Something like that, yes…” I was starting to get an idea on why these people did not exist in the future… And maybe how they were able to learn magic on their own.

“Very well! The people of the third realm shall welcome you with open arms! Let all know that you bear my blessing!” He waved his hand towards me in another exaggerated movement, and seemed to be expecting something.

“Right… will do.” I signalled for the connection to end, and then sighed when the hologram disappeared. “This… is going to take a while.”

Tapping on my comm, I called Celeste. “Their entire race is like that, isn’t it?”

I heard a light groan from the other side of the comm. “Unfortunately, yes. The more dramatic, the more popular. It’s a race full of eighth graders.”

I was a bit surprised, honestly. I mean, Celeste seems like the kind of person that would be all for this. “I can understand why it’s a bad thing for me… but why are you depressed?”

“Because I’ve been outdone by an entire race!” I could practically hear her arms flailing around in the bed. “Even their kids do it better than me! It’s so frustrating.”

...Okay then… “Ah… sorry about that? I take it that their government is mainly comprised of each country’s best actors?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty much the same as Earth in that regard.” I’m just going to let that one slide. “But anyways, from what I can tell, some time almost two years ago, a few kids were playing ‘stop the demon lord’. Naturally, when the kid playing the demon lord actually called out real fire from his hands… everything just snowballed from there.”

I could picture that easily enough. Suddenly, I was thinking about a bunch of blue skinned midgets running around playing tag, and accidentally throwing a fireball. “So, the relation between their language and runes?”

“Coincidence, most likely. They’ve been using the language for over a century, so there’s no way they got it from the system. Oh, and there was no ‘foretold emissary’... He was trying to impress an audience.”

It was at this moment that my face had a brutal rendezvous with the palm of my hand. Malthan…?

I’m sorry, the god you are calling is not available, please leave your message at the end of the universe.

Malthan… if you don’t answer, I’m leaving.

Fine, fine. Can’t even take a joke. What is it?

The reason that the Qu’Lopti were destroyed in the future…

You got it. They were just too annoying to let live.

And thus, my face met my hand yet again. You seem sane compared to that guy…

Oh? Which one did you talk to? Ah… Tordaedron… You got lucky, he’s only the leader for a small territory. Just wait till you meet Dracomere or Hendrax.

You are not making me want to save these guys any more like that… Thinking that Tordaedron was only a small time leader, and thus more tame than the others, made my head hurt. The rewards better be worth it…

“Celeste… Can you--”

“Already started on it. Figured we’d be here a while.” She interrupted me before I could finish asking her to make us a more permanent base. She has a factory grove now, so she has the best methods available to do the building. After all… like she said, we were probably going to be here a while.

Well, maybe Yo and the kids will have fun here, at least.

I sat there for a few minutes trying to think of what I wanted to do next. There were only a few options on how to ‘save’ the Qu’Lopti at this point, but at least I knew what was going to happen to them. Unfortunately… I doubted I could reform an entire planet’s culture to make them more sane.

That left… this was not going to be fun. Calm down… calm down… everything will be fine. Tapping the intercom button, I addressed the crew. “Attention, everyone. It appears that our stay here will be a much longer one than anticipated. The Qu’Lopti are… in dire need of a proper representative. And apparently… I’ve been elected by the god of insanity to do the job. So… I am going to try to build diplomatic relations with this planet. In the meantime, I will be setting up a mining operation to get the metal needed for large scale construction. Any donations from the crew’s druids would be welcome.”

“Once the construction operation is complete, if there are people who wish to return to another world, we will construct additional small craft that can take the journey. Otherwise, we will become the people that represent this unknown race in the future…. May the gods have mercy on our souls.”

After that, I tapped the button again to end the call. “If anyone needs me… I’m going to be in the cargo bay. Need to grind a bit.” Saying so, I left the bridge, and made my way to the cargo bay. “Celeste, can you upload the language to the ship’s computer? I really don’t want to have to save enough experience to teach three hundred people a language.”

There was a light laugh over the comm as she replied. “Will do.”

With that taken care of, I went and began killing lots and lots of monsters. Since I was too high level for ettins to give me anything, I was farming a higher level ogre instead. Though, doing so meant I had to adjust the formation so that it would be able to kill the ogre more easily after it was spawned.

All in all… well, at least I’ve made plenty of progress with my skills, when I wasn’t playing with Tokemi. That should make things easier from now on.

SkillsMana Manipulation - Expert Level 2: 1%Nature Magic - Advanced Level 4: 49%Wild Luck - Basic Level 8: 33%Sketching - Basic Level 6: 60%Herbology - Novice Level 2: 1%Gathering - Beginner Level 9: 6%Alchemy - Intermediate Level 9: 13%Mana Signatures - Advanced Level 9: 1%Cooking - Basic Level 4: 10%Flight - Basic Level 4: 0%Aura Sight - Advanced Level 3: 23%Technomancy - Intermediate Level 5: 89%Programming - Intermediate Level 4: 5%Enchanting - Advanced Level 2: 30%Engineering - Novice Level 2: 18%Maintenance - Basic Level 9: 24%Dodge - Beginner Level 5: 24%Swordsmanship - Beginner Level 5: 29%Marksmanship - Basic Level 3: 59%Energy Weapons - Beginner Level 9: 42%Soul Arts - Intermediate Level 2: 34%Psychic Power: Toybox - Advanced Level 1: 1%Piloting - Beginner Level 5: 3%Navigation - Beginner Level 2: 12%Weapons Systems - Basic Level 1: 13%Shield Systems - Basic Level 1: 0%Spatial Comprehension - Intermediate Level 1: 1%Barrier Magic - Basic Level 3: 20%Divination - Beginner Level 9: 1%

Like the helpful window says, a lot of my skills have shown improvement. Most notably, my Mana Manipulation and Toybox powers. For the former, I’ve gotten much more used to controlling the mana around me, thanks to pulling Tokemi out of her time hiccups. For the Toybox, I have actually gotten to the level where I can use the Toy Prison… on a small rock.

It was really interesting to see it happen. The rock simply vanished from my hand, but I could still feel it in the corner of my mind. It existed, yet it was not on this plane. It was like it was trapped in a pocket universe under my supervision. After letting my head rest for a few minutes, I was able to call the rock back by focusing on it.

This power was still nowhere near usable against actual people, and attempting to do so would likely make my head explode. But still, it’s progress. From my other skills, Enchanting was the one that had the most gains. This wasn’t surprising, as I had been practicing enchanting a lot of items such as weapons and armors. If anything.. I wasn’t sure what else there was for me to learn to further improve my Enchanting skills.

I’m distracting myself from thinking about having to be the diplomatic representative to a race of overdramatic aliens, aren’t I? I really think I am…

The next day, after I vented my frustration at about a hundred ogres, I opened a communication with Tordeadron again. “Who summons me?!” The hologram called out as soon as the call was made. “Ah! It is you, Captain of the Ariadne, sailor of the starry seas, the benevolent John!”

Please, system, do not turn that into a title. I do not want to get official titles from these guys… “Hello… I am calling today because I have an offer of trade that I think you might be interested in.”

“Oh? And what is it you wish to bestow upon these people?” Tordeadron made a sweeping motion with his hands, and I wasn’t sure whether he was talking about his people or ours.

“You have some knowledge on magic that we are lacking. At the same time, we possess many technological advancements that your people have not discovered yet.” Deep breaths. Don’t shoot the nice hologram. I never realized just how bad my resistance was against annoying people.

“Hmm. A trade of knowledge, then? But, what knowledge could compare to the fabric of the universe itself?!”

“The ability to leave your planet’s atmosphere would be a good start.”

“Sold.” His quick reaction made me do a double take, before he cleared his throat. “I mean, ahem, your offer is very appealing. Allow me to consult with my advisors and I shall send word to you when a decision has been reached!”