《Starcraft Unbound》Fernando and the Princess
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“Do you think I should shoot him?” I asked Leo this while sitting on the ground outside the Command Center. Trenton, Georgie, Green, as well as a slew of other people from all walks of life had joined me. Leo gave a soft bark while raising one paw up and slamming it on the ground, nodding his head. He was like an adorable little puppy executioner sentencing someone to death.
Trenton, being the only one standing, looked down at us and asked: “I have a clear shot for the perfect bastard.” I knew he was joking; rather I hoped he was, I still needed Fernando. Green chimed in shortly after.
“Nonsense,” her tone was a bit evil sounding, “just kill the child, then give Fernando to me for a month. I promise it will be worth it.”
Ignoring the horrible fact, I actually considered that option for even a single moment I thought about what led to this point in time.
It started shortly after Trenton had burst into the room and the little imp that was Dorothy Mengsk had called me a pedophile rapist. Trenton had begun slowly backing out of the room and closing the door. The look he had thrown me was one of utter contempt and pity. I, being the innocent party, had quickly rush to have him stop and help me. I told him she was a child from an old family I was placed in charge of.
The resulting screams from that statement grew louder. If that was even physically possible, they sounded louder. Trenton had at least come back in, though he apparently didn't believe me. He had moved to help me, trying to talk calmly to a little girl that was freaking out, logically I suppose, being in an unknown place with a strange man and all.
A bit after that he started to grow concerned because now he was the ‘metal rapist.’ That led to louder screaming, and her running out of the room while dragging a stuffed horse screaming for help, her mommy, and local authorities.
This, in turn, led to multiple Ursine Guard and Marines being directed toward the display, then labeled the same as Trenton. That was when the Medics got involved. That small reprieve from the screaming, exhausted, looking child lasted all of one minute. If that. Why you might ask? Why that is because Green showed up with Andy.
I had actually thought I was saved, believe it or not. Even if Green did nothing useful, surely Andy would be able to help with her calm and centered self. I was proven wrong relatively quickly.
No sooner had Green started talking than Andy began to back away from the child and my demonic head doctor like something horrible was about to happen. It did, of course. See I forgot that Green had a very odd obsession with what she felt was adorable. Leo was a key point in this as well.
Green had latched onto the crying, terrified girl like a fat kid would have launched himself at an all-you-can-eat cake buffet. The screaming began again, only this time it was about the “drooping old pervert” that had managed to snag her.
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This led to an exciting scene where everyone present had to physically restrain Green from throttling the little imp while also trying to calm her down. That was when Leo, my adorable fur bundle of joy managed to escape my quarters and follow the, in his mind, strange two-legged people that gave him wonderful pets and food to see why the small one was screaming.
Being the cute little shit he was he ran right up to her and gave a cute little puppy wolf while wagging his tail. In my mind, this would be enough to melt anyone's heart and help them calm down. Not so for Dorothy, oh no. This little creature seemed actually to despise puppies. She screamed that he was going to eat her.
For some odd reason, Leo actually seemed to understand what she said, and I swear, the little guy had the most affronted and hurt look I had ever seen on a puppies face when he turned to look at me. It was as if he was asking ‘this kid for real?’ I admit I kind of giggled at that.
A very long story full of crying, screaming, and multiple adults trying to calm down the entitled little shit without hurting her short. It was Fernando who saved the day. Apparently, all the screaming actually had him leave the Barracks in a rush. He also had apparently been in the shower at the time.
The simple fact that it was the first, and hopefully last, time I had seen him in nothing but a towel carrying his big ass fucking gun was a little shocking. I was able to see his bare torso and all the scars that littered his body. The other women did as well. Thankfully the child prevented a riot, kind of.
Upon seeing the scarred adonis that was Fernando, Dorothy decided to actually bum rush through us all and leap into his arms. Being the ‘perfect’ bastard that he is he dropped the gun, caught the child and held her like a little princess while pulling out a piece of candy. I genuinely don't ever want to know why he had candy, or where he had fucking kept it in his nude state.
Needless to say, all women apparently loved Fernando to some degree, Nova aside thankfully, and the little imp was no exception. This, in turn, led to us all seriously contemplating killing Fernando, or the child, or both. Personally, I was semi-joking, but Leo seemed serious. He was actually glaring at the kid, who ever heard of a puppy glaring at something? It defied all logic!
Green I was sure was serious. Something told me the attractive women in her early thirties; late twenties did not enjoy being called old, or saggy. The fact she was anything but saggy was a road I really did not want to go down as well. That way lay dragonic demons that would suck out your very soul.
“No, I’ll go see how it’s going...no shooting Fernando or the kid. In fact, go back to work, all of you!” That was my reply toward their relatively justified dislike of this situation. Green had a frightening gleam in her eye for a moment, but she chose to leave as well. Trenton actually decided to flee a second later with some excuse that Fernando should be fine as protection.
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Choosing to ignore the rather massive horde of women that were gathering around the area we were at. They looked a very great deal like wolves moving in for the slaughter at the moment. I made my way toward Fernando and the little shit...kid that was looking at him with googly eyes.
“See? No one here will hurt you; they just want to help. No more screaming, right?” What the fuck was I hearing? More to the point the little girl was sucking on the candy and nodding her head. Had I not just spent over an hour with her screaming bloody murder I’d have sworn she was a fucking angel.
“I understand now. You’ll still protect me though, right?” Did she just? She did! She was fluttering her eyelashes at the man. Good God Fernando, fucking run away!
Contrary to my mental scream to run away, he just nodded his head. Noticing me, and apparently the little fur-ball following me. I think he felt the need to growl at the intruder into his domain of primary cuddle receiver from the big man if his cute little growls were any indication. Dorothy glared at me when she realized Fernando had moved all of his attention to me, Leo took that as a sign of war and rushed forward to try and jump up and bite her.
I felt no need to stop that and allowed Fernando to deal with it. The fact that he did, by lifting a leg up and scratching the puppies back, then tummy, with his toes was a bit overkill. The howling could be felt, even if it wasn’t heard, from the growing crowd of women.
“Sir! This little angel is perfectly calm now. Perhaps you can explain why someone of noble stature is here?” What the fuck was I!? He asked that like she was the only Noble present. I mean, Nova was a noble too you know!
“I was charged with her protection. I’m not really sure why she doesn’t remember this, but her mother asked me to keep an eye on her.” There, perfect, not.
“Liar! Mommy would never put me in the care of some unknown low-caste person!” I glared at the girl who turned from hell-cat to angel in the matter of a moment when Fernando turned toward her. I was going to strangle that little shit! My traitorous puppy wasn’t even trying to defend me, to occupied with tummy scratches from his fucking foot.
Feeling that I was quickly losing control of this situation I made an executive decision. “Fernando! I know you want answers, but I think more pressing matters are about to unfold.” I motioned toward our surroundings, then his state of dress. The man actually blanched in horror before realizing he was surrounded.
“Sir, if you would please take care of Dorothy here I should probably leave,” I told him he should and no sooner had I given the word that he was off! My god that man could run, how he kept the towel in place was beyond me. Shortly after every single woman present took off after him, screaming for more of a show and I could have sworn someone yelled ‘have my babies!’ I felt absolutely no pity for the man. In my mind, he was a lucky fucker.
Instead, I turned my attention toward the imp of a child I had somehow landed myself with. She regarded me with open hatred, a good few steps away from the blissed-out Leo who was currently dead to the world after his tummy scratches. “You’re a liar, I have no idea how you obtained me, but my brother will gut you like a fish for this!”
“Your brother would be Arcturos, right? Trust me, if he knew I had you the man might just fall on his knees and kiss my feet.” I muttered absently. She gave me a weird look before stomping her little foot. “Who are you?! Where am I?! Why am I here?! Why do you have such a perfect man working for you?!” I ignored the last bit for now and answered the others first.
“I’m Damian Fern, a fallen Confederate Noble. You are on Mar Sara. You are here because I was entrusted with your care.” Perfectly reasonable. The fact I was imagining strangling the suddenly petulant little shit was beside the point.
“I want to go home! Take me home right now!” Rolling my eyes, I decided to dangle some ‘candy’ in front of her instead. She was a kid, after all...one that had a weird obsession with my General.
“Tell you what, Dorothy. You come with me, remain civil and listen to what I have to say and I will let you spend a day with Fernando. Back up my story and I’ll give you a week with him, and I will help you see your brother in the future. Deal?”
The fact that she jumped at the idea was a little frightening, I felt I’d just opened an entirely new can of worms with this idiocy, but at least this crisis was dealt with for the time being. I sent a note to Green informing her that Fernando would be in one of her tubes in the next day or so. Her promise that it would be worth it mattered little to me. This part was entirely for revenge.
Taking Dorothy back into the Command Center, the bargaining began.
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